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Sexuality & Relationships (Expert Forum)
sex after Surgery?
Answered by
Janice M Epp, PhD - Female sexual issues, Adolescent sexuality, Male sexual issues
Private Practice
Palo Alto - CA
This forum is for questions and support regarding relationship issues such as: Abstinence, Arousal Problems, Birth Control, Cohabitation, Commitment, Communication, Couples Counseling, Desire /Lack of Desire, Sexual Technique.
Doctor's Answer
by Janice M Epp, PhD, Jun 20, 2009 07:12PM
, Jun 20, 2009 07:12PMTo: 84fiero
After heart surgery, there is a period of recovery. However, this doesn’t mean you can’t be sexual or that you can’t return to previous sexual activity after a period of time. What has your cardiologist told you about when you can resume being sexual with yourself or with a partner? You wouldn’t want me to second-guess her/him when, a) I’m not a cardiologist, and b) I have no idea of your medical history and whether your heart condition is complicated by such factors as diabetes, stress, diet, lack of exercise, etc. No one can evaluate your physician’s advice without a thorough examination and health history.
One important factor to consider is that the bone in the middle of your chest (the sternum) was opened during surgery. This bone does not completely heal for at least 12 weeks (3 months). For that period of time, no extra stress should be put on it.
As to your motivations for being sexual: I hope you’re not worried because you feel that you’re not measuring up to some “masculine” standard unless you’re having sex with your wife and that you’ll consider other reasons for being sexual than just an empty performance for someone else’s benefit. In fact, when we have health challenges, sex can be very life-affirming; however, it’s important not to risk re-injuring your heart.
I’m also wondering if you have asked your physician about the safety of any activities that might increase your heart rate at this point. Sex is like any other physical act: it raises your blood pressure and heart rate. I’m assuming you’re not running, jumping, playing tennis, etc.—in short, anything that would put a strain on your heart. When you’re being sexual, as you become aroused, your heart rate will increase in the same manner as it would during any heavy physical exercise like running. A specific question to ask your cardiologist is whether an increase in your heart rate is OK at this time. If you’d like more information, I highly recommend the book, “Sound Sex and the Aging Heart; Sex in the Mid and Later Years with Special Reference to Cardiac Problems,” by Lee Schengold, et al, widely available online both used and in paperback. Best of luck to you. Dr. J
One important factor to consider is that the bone in the middle of your chest (the sternum) was opened during surgery. This bone does not completely heal for at least 12 weeks (3 months). For that period of time, no extra stress should be put on it.
As to your motivations for being sexual: I hope you’re not worried because you feel that you’re not measuring up to some “masculine” standard unless you’re having sex with your wife and that you’ll consider other reasons for being sexual than just an empty performance for someone else’s benefit. In fact, when we have health challenges, sex can be very life-affirming; however, it’s important not to risk re-injuring your heart.
I’m also wondering if you have asked your physician about the safety of any activities that might increase your heart rate at this point. Sex is like any other physical act: it raises your blood pressure and heart rate. I’m assuming you’re not running, jumping, playing tennis, etc.—in short, anything that would put a strain on your heart. When you’re being sexual, as you become aroused, your heart rate will increase in the same manner as it would during any heavy physical exercise like running. A specific question to ask your cardiologist is whether an increase in your heart rate is OK at this time. If you’d like more information, I highly recommend the book, “Sound Sex and the Aging Heart; Sex in the Mid and Later Years with Special Reference to Cardiac Problems,” by Lee Schengold, et al, widely available online both used and in paperback. Best of luck to you. Dr. J
