This forum is for questions and support regarding relationship issues such as: Abstinence, Arousal Problems, Birth Control, Cohabitation, Commitment, Communication, Couples Counseling, Desire /Lack of Desire, Sexual Technique.
i am married and have been for 3 years...i keep wanting to have sex with other women, and not as much as with my wife. sad as it sounds, she wants it, if possible everyday. and we usually do it maybe 3 times a month.. i catch my self wanting to have sex with other women often, sometimes everyday...what should i do? my wife is beautiful but i feel like im just "bored with her sex" i know it sounds bad but its how i feel...role playing and everything else is not really an option, cuz she isnt really into it...should i look for other sex partners?? what should i consider?
I would never tell someone what to do because ultimately, you'll know what's best for you and your relationship. You just need some help determining what path to take.
I'll tell you the same thing I tell anyone considering a major life change: talk to someone who can help you make your decision. Be sure to see a counselor/therapist who doesn't have an "opinion" about what you should do, but rather will listen to you and guide you to the insights you'll need in making your decision. You'll find it helpful to evaluate what's going on in your life--not just your relationship. Why? Because sometimes when we're feeling bad about our goals, or just our life in general, we may blame it on relationship boredom, but it's actually boredom with ourselves.
Of course, there are many other issues that may be in play--and again, a counselor can help you figure out what they are. Best of luck to you. Dr. J
Take it from a man who 20 years ago was in the same boat...it's not worth it. I had an affair with a woman and have lived with the guilt of
that for all these years..it impacted my wife, my kids, and me.
have you talked these things over with your wife? sought out counseling? Do you still love your wife? Do you have children?
I'd highly recommend scratching this idea, have a serious chat with your wife about these feelings..be willing to compromise, and perhaps seek out counseling..you don't say how old you are, but I suspect young, and married very young....
to me, the greatest thing in the world would be to have a "growing" sexual relationship with my wife...and that's what I think you should consider..there can be nothing more beautiful than that, and you will not live with the guilt and regret that I do.
Here's a little perspective from the woman's point of view. I was on birth control pills for the entire first part of my marriage. I could have cared less about sex. After I had my daughter, I couldn't go back on birth control pills. Lo and behold, my sex drive went into overdrive. Unfortunately, he was not interested in sexual exploration. That among other things led to the downfall of our marriage. I'm not sure if this would apply to your situation, but it could be a factor. Also, women, in general don't reach their sexual peak until well after men. I agree with the gentleman-don't do anything you may regret. You can't ever take it back.
Another women point of view......clearly you should not do anything that you will regret because you will hurt your wife and yourself in the long run. This is a time to take a further look at yourself. Evaluate what it is that drives you to these other women or what turns you on when you see them. I noticed that you wrote about your wife saying that she is beautiful, but you never said anything about an emotional tie? I think the question that the other gentlemen asked was on the money....are you in love with your wife?
Exploring new ways to arose one another maybe an idea as well... I understand that this can also lead to questions from your wife such as is she interesting enough? She is asking these questions anyway and probably assumes you are stepping out if you are so with drawn sexually. Its better to not leave her wondering...talk....communication is KEY.
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