This forum is for questions and support regarding relationship issues such as: Abstinence, Arousal Problems, Birth Control, Cohabitation, Commitment, Communication, Couples Counseling, Desire /Lack of Desire, Sexual Technique.
i m a 25 year unmarried man. im getting a serious problem that whenever i
thought about sex r talking to my girlfriend i found the liquid comes out from my penis. now its being quite regular. i had lost my erection.
please help me i am really worried. because if i could not manage when i m
talking then how i could have a sex with her.
my penis size is also very small about 4.5 inches...
i will be very very thankful to you...
I can clear this up for you right now. What you're experiencing is exactly what your body is supposed to do. Here's some information for you about sexual response.
During sex, the body goes through distinct phases of physiological change. As soon as you become aroused, if you’re male, blood flows to your crotch, which results in erection. In men, a small internal sac, the Cowper’s Gland, sends a slippery fluid down the urethra and out the end of the penis to clean out any remaining uric acid. However, this fluid may contain sperm. That’s why the “withdrawal method” of birth control doesn’t work. I have a special name for people who use this method: Parents.
If effective stimulation continues, orgasm occurs. This is characterized by a series of involuntary muscle contractions in the crotch, occurring every eight-tenths of a second. In men, orgasm occurs in two stages. The first stage could be called the “point of no return.” You can sense an orgasm is imminent, but if you remove the stimulation, breathe and relax, you can delay it and begin to build back up to orgasm again. Once you decide to orgasm, you’ll proceed through the second stage, during which the contractions will cause ejaculation of semen.
So, the liquid that's coming out of your penis is either Cowper's Gland fluid or semen, or both.
After orgasm, if no further stimulation occurs, the body returns fairly rapidly to its unaroused state, or more slowly if no orgasm has occurred. The blood leaves the crotch and returns to the rest of the body, including the brain (rational thought resumes!). Erection goes down. Sometimes, men’s penises feel very sensitive and even ticklish, while other times, they may enjoy continued stimulation.
It's possible that you're having orgasms when speaking with your girlfriend, or you're very turned on--so much that your penis is releasing Cowper's Gland fluid--not uncommon. Either way, your body is working just fine.
If you want to gain control over your orgasms, I'd suggest that you slow down your response pattern during self-pleasuring. Once you learn what turns you on, you can take deep breaths so slow down and control your orgasms.
About penis size: We do a terrible disservice to men by raising them to think that their penis has to be 10 inches long, hard as a rock and last all night. It’s no wonder that many men feel insecure about their penis. Locker room etiquette dictates no staring, so most men have only glimpsed other penis sizes and shapes in commercial sex videos, which generally feature men with large penises. If you think everyone else looks like a male porn star, of course you’re going to feel inadequate!
Another contributing factor is that while most men see their penises several times a day while urinating, they’re usually staring down at their penis, creating a visual distortion that makes it appear smaller than it actually is.
Just as some women associate being “sexy” with having big breasts, many men spend their lives wishing they had the allegedly perfect porn star penis, and this can affect their sexual enjoyment. Certainly, penises are important to sex, but great sex involves your whole body; in fact, having great, mutually satisfying sex is usually quite the opposite of what you see in those performance-oriented sex videos. Remember: Performance can be the enemy of pleasure and fun.
Like noses, penises all have the same basic shape, with some variation. Did you know that you can’t tell the size of a man’s erect penis based on what it looks like when flaccid (un-erect)? Most penises erect to between 4 and 6 inches, and there’s not much variation in erection size (with exceptions, of course). However, when flaccid, there is much more variation. Some men’s penises are 1 inch when flaccid (we’ll call these growers), and others are 5 inches (we’ll call these show-ers). BUT: during erection, the 1-inch penis may grow to the same 6-inch erect size as the 5-incher. That’s right; despite their differences when flaccid, they’ll both erect to approximately the same size. Why don’t most of us realize this? Because most of us just don’t get the opportunity to see men when they’re flaccid and then erect. And did I mention shrinkage? When men are cold or nervous, the penis and testicles pull up into the body for protection (“I’m hiding!”). If you see a penis right after it’s been in a cold swimming pool, I guarantee it will not resemble its erect self in any way!
So, relax, stop worrying and accept the body you've been given. Best of luck to you. Dr. J
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