wife asked if she can...

[buggy123]

im 33 years old and my wife is 22 we have been married for 9 years but together for 15 years. just recently a lesbian have been calling my wife and asking if she could go out with her, my wife asked me what she should do so i asked her back and told her that we have been together for quite some time now and i trust you so im giving you the liberty to do whatever you want as long as you want it and never forget our relationship.
my question is it ok i mean is there anything wrong if she might be carried away and have sex with the lesbian? im scared but i should stand to my word of giving her the liberty after all maybe nothing will be lost.
buggy123

[littlej203]

Be careful.  If you love her and want to keep her don't invite others into your love life without being ready to deal with the consequences.  It may sound exciting but once it happens there is no turning back. It seems your wife finds this situation interesting but the lesbian may be looking for a life mate and you would be an unwelcome partner. If you think your love is strong enough handle this then go for it. As a straight male I have had gay friends since college. They knew I was not like that and did not push it on me. They were great friends. The lesbian may only want to be friends. Once you find out her true intentions, then you have to make the ultimate decision.  Good luck.

[Pepper Schwartz, Ph.D.]

what was the purpose of the call from this woman? If she wants to be friends with your wife, her sexual orientation won't matter- her sexual interest will be elsewhere. But if she is 'courting" your wife, then you wife should say no thank you- if she is uninterested she doesn't want to lead the other woman on-- and if she is interested- then she is lying to you- and that's not right. Hopefully, that's not the case.

If your wife just likes this person and the other woman merely wants to be her friend- I don't see any problem. We are often friends with the opposite sex and while theoretically we could be interested in everyone who is also heterosexual, it doesn't mean we are, or that we would allow something to develop.

Finally, I don't think we can ever stop someone from something they want to do. If your wife wanted to do this behind your back-she could find a way. But she seems straightforward and consultive about this new friendship. At this point, I wouldn't be worried.  Pepper Schwartz, Ph.D.

[big80smullet]

Learn how to count.

You're obviously not satisfying her if she wants to be a lesbian. Maybe since you've been with her since she was 13 she's matured a bit and realised that she wants some *****

[slow_healer]

buggy, why don't you set some boundaries? Decide whether you two have an open relationship or not. Is it open only to certain things? (going out with other people and nothing else, or experimenting so long as both you and her are involved, etc.) How can you deal with what you haven't really talked about. Tell her plainly (yes or no) whether you would be okay with her having sex (or even just fooling around) with another woman.

Personally, if both partners consent to one having any kind of extra-relationship, I don't see what's wrong with it. Of course, that attitude is highly specific to any individual. Good luck!

[rebbecca]

you have been with her since she was 7!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!??????????????? you married her when she was 13?????????!!!!!!!!! please tell me that this is a type o.
i dont think there is one man in this world that wouldnt want there wife to bring home a lesbian. lol
my husband would be in heaven. not that it would happen i dont swing that way.
i think man or woman is cheating period. if she loves you and knows how u feel about it then she wouldnt do it. and if she does do it then she must not care that much about you.
good luck