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Sick and tired of being sick and tired. User Group
I know how you feel , addiction takes it's toll on us
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I guess I am looking for a place to go when things get too bad. I don't know if this is that place, but.... I have Rheumatoid Arthritis, 15% of a liver (need a transplant, and because of the Methadone, I have little if any chance of getting on a list.), Hepatitis C, and am on 100mgs. of Methadone. I was an addict for 40 years. But have not used any illicit drug for 35 of those 40 years. I also suffer from severe depression that so far has not been successfully treated with medication. I guess now a lot of you have already judged me, and think that I got what I deserved. I guess that is why I am writing this. To see if I can receive some help or, as when I go to a doctor, just be judged for my past. I hope that is not the case because I am told that I do not have a lot of time left on this earth. I am a good man who has always taken good care of his parents and wife and kids. But, I know that means little to anyone because it seems doctors only see the addiction that I had a long time ago. Yes, I know I am still addicted to Methadone, but when no doctor will give me anything for for the pain that is caused by the RA, I take my relief where I can get it. If anyone out there is suffering, no matter why, maybe we can talk. To the rest of you that are judges, kiss my a&#! JohnD.

Founded by John1956 on October 4, 2009
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I know how you feel , addiction takes it's toll on us

I've allowed alcoholism to ruin my life - depressed, out of work , seperated from my wife - don't even know what damage I've done to my body .   Really don't socialize anymore.  So many things I use to enjoy I can no longer find pleasure in, golf, reading, working out and watching sports.  Trying to take 1 day at a time.    
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Hey unioncty98,  Your last sentence is more true than you may realize right now.  I am sorry to hear that you had to lose all that you did.  What you are describing, is what I have heard, in similar words, from many people that have had this problem.  You are not alone.  And do not cut yourself off from your friends and family.  You need them very much right now.  You need some sort of support system, that you can call on when things are bad.  
Are you going to any meetings?  I know that many people find that they are helpful.  
  I, too, had a alcohol problem for many years along with the drug problem.  Fortunately, I was able to quit.  But, to be honest, (and honesty with ones self is so very important with things like drugs and alcohol), I still had the drugs.  So, I guess I had a fallback, and that may have made things easier.  I didn't feel that way at the time though!
Be easy and work your program, no matter what that may be.  Whatever helps!
Write to me personally if you have the need.
-JohnD.
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