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Advice for a single mum to be..help
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Advice for a single mum to be..help

So..im about 3 months and 2 weeks pregnant. My situation in a nutshell is that my boyfriend at the time basically asked me to move out and go back home, which is on the other side of the world literally, because he said he thought he had a drug problem and wanted to get better so i went home and he had assured me he loved me and wanted to be with me forever radee rah. I was so afraid b/c we both knew i could be pregnant..

So I get home, 5 days later i finally hear from him, told me he didnt love me, didnt want any kind of girlfriend. so we didnt talk for about 3 weeks, I confirmed I was pregnant, told him, he wanted me to get a abortion, told me he wasnt going to be there, he didnt want this , he didnt want anything to do with me or the baby. Turns out that day he got into a official relationship with his ex girlfriend, now this "girl" harassed us, me, through the whole relationship, she called constantly and he alwaaaaays reassured me he was over her and told me all these awful things about her and how they both cheated, actually she got a abortion for him because he said he didnt love her.

sooo this all happened about 3 months ago and I've been coping, trying to get my life in order and work and work. but I recently received a email from him, it didnt say much but that he wanted me to know "he was fine with my decision, and if i needed something finically to tell him" and hes tried calling me twice, i sent him a email saying i would like to set up a time to talk since im working weird hours and im in the states and hes in australia. so i havent heard anything else  from him and im not going out of my way to talk to him after everything he has said and done and has ignored me for 3 months. and its brought up a lot of anger i had suppressed and horrible anxiety. I never hear from his family. im so incredibly hurt how i was just treated literally like garbage..it hurts so bad and i feel so awful and hurt for my baby, she or he deserves all the love and respect in the world and i hate how he has treated my unborn child already. She/he deserves a fulltime daddy not some loser...

basically i just need reassurance from other single mothers who have been through anything like this, that it is going to be ok, and jus the best way to get over what he has done to me. I just need advice from other woman or men who have been abandoned basically.
i just want to be happy and not feel this intense sense of anxiety like he is going to hurt us more..


thanks for your time =]
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4 Comments Post a Comment
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1509869_tn?1290029000
I went through the exact same thing when I became pregnant. I was so scared and felt abandoned, and mostly felt bad that I was bringing a child into the world with no father. I am 25 years old now, and my son is 4. He is amazing, and we do just fine on our own. He for the first time asked me about where his father was a few weeks ago, and my response was, sometimes parents don't always stay together, i'm not sure where he is, but you have all the love you need from your family and friends. He agreed, and that was the end of that, for now at least. You will figure it out. It sounds scary, but its really the most amazing thing ever to watch your child grow and learn new things. I hope you feel atleast a little better. Don't let this guy bring you down, this is the most important time for you to just focus on you.
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134578_tn?1404951303
I'd go to the trouble of finding out about the child support laws in Australia.  Just because he abandoned you does not mean he can walk away from his legal obligation to support the child.  You'll feel a lot better if you have some authority behind your decisions.
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1513458_tn?1290358444
i also went through the same thing with my daughter. i was 16 and thought it would be sooo much harder then it is. me and hr father wer 2gether and we had broken up after the possibility of bn preg.....wen i found out i was for sure pregnant he would tell me hed b there 4 me and her. then decided he didnt want her at all and wantd an abortion. buut i dont believe in abortions, so i couldnt do it. he ignored me completely 4 6months. and he lived ryt down the street. there was no way of me getting ahold of him. wen i went 2 his house he (suposedly) wasnt there. i knew then i was going 2 b taking care of this kid alone. i cried and worried. i was worried she wouldnt hav a father figure in her life n i wouldnt know how 2 explain 2 her why. .....wen she was born he did come 2 the hospital but jus 2 sign the papers. he held her for 2 minutes and left. i cried. he didnt want anything 2 do with her. even tho he said financially he would help. he has NOIT helpd me at all. im doing fine with this child alone. i actually have 2. n im fine! YOU WILL BE FINE...DONT WORRY. you should definately take him 4 child support because that is still his child. im taking my daughters father 4 child support now and he denies shes his. but hehas told me and every1 else b4 that he knows she is his!!!! so now were goin 4 a dna test. but i know everything will turn out fine. she is 7 months and is such a wonderful baby. and i wouldnt change anything! :)
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Avatar_f_tn
thanks so much for everyones advice, things hav been getting better for me emotionally and i have th efull support of my family and friends. recently the father called me, hes on drugs still and has hit rock bottom and wants to know what is going on with the pregnancy and yet he doesnt want to its very weird but hes not in a good mental state, it was like talking to a 16 year old.  and after that day i got a very unpleasent mean mean email from his gf or ex gf now i dont know, she told me i ruined her life and his and that i was immature and to go back and keep guilt tripping him into being a father. so it really made me mad bc he was letting her read our private emails about the baby and us. sooo i dont know when i will talk to him again b/c hes to much drama...
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