Im just so over the whole deadbeat dad role.... I have a 3yearold and an now 32 weeks pregnant with second child..... On a daily basis i get up get my son to school and go to school for landscaping from 8a-330p.... Big and pregnant or not i make sure i get up and do what i need to do to take care of my kids......and what does my bd do????? Abosolutly nothing..... When i first meet him he had a job and a olace to stay and everything but shortly after i found out about the first baby its like he stopped doing everything. Hes 9 years older than me but in my opinion has the mind of a 15 yearold.... Not to mention also after i found out about my son.... I found out he not only 3 kids like he told me after talking to his mom he had 6 kids.....which he does nothing for either.... So now thanks to my 2 he has a total of 8.... The only reason i have 2 is because i listened to the hype that he was going to do something with his life and he came to live with me and i believed we were going to stay together( stupid if me to believe i know... But we live and we learn) but... I said all that just to say im so sick of "dads" making up excuses for not taking care of their kids while moms will break their neck to do what ever it takes to take care of their kids..... Even if we were not togethet as a couple you still wont do anything for your kids and you kno they need all the things you need to live... I know my kids are ok and will never want for anything but i just hate the face that i have to do it all on my own when i didnt make these kids on my own....
He just sounds like he's plain old lazy to me. He's happy enough to make all these kids but when it comes to paying for them and taking of them - and you, then he doesn't want anything to do with it and expects you and everyone else to do it all.
He needs to get a job - no doubt about it. He needs to provide for your kids as well as his 6 other kids and help towards everything they need in life. If he's old and big enough to make them all then he sure is old and big enough to get up off the couch and get a job and be the father he should be and provide for them. End of.
Obviously you can't physically make him, but something has to be done. You're about to become a new mum all over again, and that itself is hard without having to look after another child and do everything around the house and work because he is too lazy to do so.
I wouldn't be putting up with it if it were me, so something has to be done. If he's not willing to change and provide, then in my opinion, he's not worth it and you deserve better.
Oh believe you me... I dont put up with it... I dont stop him from seeing the 3yo(that is when ever he puts forth the effort every few montha or so) but i dont track him down to make sure he spends time with him.... But since he was livong with me he dis start going to the local college just to get the student loan money. He had been living with me for 5 months and i was about 3 months pregnant when he recieved w little over $7,000 and he paid one jill and i dient hear from him for a few days so i told him to get his things out my house and keep it moving every since then i dont count on him to do anything and since then( once he spent all his money after 2months) he tried to apologize and everything telling me he wanted to be together and tame care if his kids..... Heard that way to many times and wont allow it to happen aince then ive moved back home with my mom until i have ther baby and am able to go back to work to get my money right so i wouldnt be struggling to pay bills and take care of 2 kids....
kai, you are so right. We live and learn. You sound like you are now trying to pick up the pieces and do the best you can. I personally would establish paternity officially, legally. Then you can go after child support at a point in which he seems like he is working again. He honestly sounds like a con artist so I wouldn't hold your breath that he will ever be very helpful financially. But get your ducks in line with establishing paternity in case he does. Yeah, encouage him to at least be with his kids as they will want to know their father. But again, he sounds like he'll be a come and go kind of dad. Sad. I'd look for other male role models to establish for your kids--- brother, uncle or your dad??? Anyone like that in your life that is willing to be a part of your kids lives?
I feel for ya and hope that he changes his character and becomes more than a sperm donor and sees he has true responsibilty when he makes children. Peace and luck to you
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