reasonable response to melanoma fears?

[lizsmom08]

Ok, I've posted here before, several months ago, with a similar question, about a different mole (which is currently not worrying me, as I've been reassured several times that it's normal, and more importantly, it no longer appears to be changing).  However, in the course of several derm appointments throughout the year, I've become aware of several areas "to watch", the most worrisome and irregular of which is a mole cluster, about 5 mm in length altogether, which I've had for at least 5 or 10 years and which has not appeared to change in that time.  Earlier this year was the first time I'd ever had a dermatologist tell me to keep an eye on this area.  Since then, I've had two more dermatologists look at it (yep, I can be a bit of a hypochondriac), and they more or less all told me the same thing, that it doesn't look worrisome now, just to keep an eye on it, since it does look a bit different than the others (irregular borders, a little brown-shaded color variation, none of which I have noticed changing the whole time I've had it).  Believe me, if one of them had suggested doing a biopsy just to be safe, I wouldn't have hesitated.  Now I'm worrying (and trying not to obsess, but it's hard to do) that I should have insisted on a biopsy.  This spot doesn't appear to have changed in the past few months, but the other day, on a whim (probably sparked by worry about another unrelated issue), the thought popped into my head to check the spot again, and when I scratched over it--not vigorously, but firmly--felt it to be slightly raised (whereas it normally feels flat).  Another mole about an inch away had the same response.  Both these moles remained very slightly raised for several hours afterward, but were back to essentially flat when I woke up the next morning.  No apparent lingering redness or tenderness.  I don't think I feel any tenderness when pressing firmly on either of these spots, but sometimes in the past couple of days have thought, while doing other things, that I may feel a little tenderness or stiffness in the arm surrounding the spots.  However, no pain or tenderness is felt when I actually press on the area, and I have no visible redness or swelling.  If I weren't feeling like a huge hypochondriac, I would make an appointment to get the moles checked again, but I should probably mention that I went back to the dermatologist last week to have her recheck another mole that had actually lightened in the past couple of months (which of course she said was nothing to worry about).  It didn't even cross my mind to ask her to check any of my other moles again, since I had a full mole check in June.  Anyway, I would feel like a real idiot going back in there this or next week for something else, in the absence of definite pain, visible change, bleeding, itching, etc.  At this point, in the interest of trying to handle my fears as rationally as I can, as well as in the interest of time and money (and considering that I have several events coming up in the next two weeks which deserve my attention, and may be hampered by unnecessary doctors' appointments, biopsies, etc.), I plan to try to ignore my moles for a week or two, assuming no obvious changes take place before then, and then reconsider seeing the doctor again.  At that point, if I feel there have been no real changes to them, I'm thinking it might be prudent of me to wait until the first of the year, at which point it will have been a little over six months since I last had these moles evaluated (at my last appt., the derm. said it would be reasonable for me to come in every six months rather than a year, mainly for reassurance, and because I am in a high-risk group).  Does this sound like a reasonable approach, or should I try to see the derm again immediately?  Are a few weeks likely to make a difference, in the absence of visible changes?  How about a few months?  It would help if my derm were willing to return my calls in person and answer questions over the phone to allay fears, but it seems that her office, like most others nowadays, would rather pull you in to the office for a paying appointment than tell you not to worry about it (or wait it out) over the phone.  I think patients like me probably make doctors a ton of money, which is one reason I try to curtail doctor's appointments that aren't either totally routine or absolutely necessary.  My apologies for the wordy post; any words of wisdom are appreciated.    

[bebeoh]

If you are going to continue to worry about this, have them do the biopsy.  It is nothing to have done and you will feel better.  I am a melanoma surviver and I understand.

[ea_poe]

Hi,

I agree with Pum, in that by getting checked every 6 months you're going to catch anything that happens. Even once you are diagnosed with melanoma, like myself, after 2 years of check-ups it goes to annual check ups. 6 month check-ups will catch anything you need to worry about in time.

poe

[lizsmom08]

Thanks for your reply. Unfortunately, I've been unable to get a clear enough picture of the mole; otherwise I'd definitely post one.  I think my anxiety is more about worrying that doctors have missed something with this one (because I've heard such stories several times), or that perhaps there are changes going on that I have missed myself.  I certainly don't feel that I have been negligent in seeking care on this one (!).  At this point, I'm trying to get a balanced perspective on the issue and figure out how much worry is reasonable and what is just unnecessary anxiety.  I don't feel like I'm on the verge of total panic about it at this point.  But I always appreciate other rational opinions to help me get some perspective.

[Pum]

Why don't you post a photo. It's hard to tell anything from your words apart from this: you are getting checked 6 monthly, which is great and should pick up anything that would be a problem so early on that you would be completely cured even if you did have a melanoma. All skin will hurt or change if you scratch it. You say yourself a professional saw these and said to "watch for changes" and you haven't seen any changes. I don't even really understand why you're worried. If you think deep down this is more of an anxiety issue than a mole issue you might want to think about adressing that.

Take care.