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Insomnia and pregnant and jerking awake
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Insomnia and pregnant and jerking awake

I've had insomnia for about 8 years now.  I've had sleep meds for that entire 8 year span, except some miraculous 7-8 months where I had no trouble sleeping about four years ago.  I have anxiety and have been keeping it under good control, but the pregnancy has amped it up a little and I've had a few small panic attacks and keep chest pain from general anxiety.  

I am used to taking sleep meds and had resigned myself to it for the rest of my life.  However, my pregnancy has made me change to doxepin for a sleep med.  I tried to go without the first week and it was a living hell.  I slept about 1-2hrs in 48hrs and then begged the MD for something.  This pregnancy was unplanned, partly because of this issue with insomnia and anxiety made me concerned that I should never be pregnant.  But that is now a moot point.

My question is:  can't I be so freaked out by the lack of sleep that I literally have a phobia of insomnia?  I woke at 3am one night this week and couldn't get back to sleep, even with my sleep med.  I promptly started sweating it and stressing out about it, even shed a couple of tears.  

Another question:  How am I going to deal with a newborn waking me at all hours, with my sleep med on board?  I am afraid I will be a tired, anxious mess.  AND I won't be able to work, if I can't sleep due to the baby and then have to get thru a day of work.  

ANY time I dont' get sleep - I get anxiety and sometimes panic attacks.  In fact, if I could guarantee that I would never have sleep problems, I would have very few anxiety issues.  

I can't nap either.  People say, "sleep when the baby sleeps".  Well, I don't have that luxury.  I've probably had one successful nap in about 10 months.  I jerk awake, with what I think are hypnic jerks.  I don't know why I do that on such a consistent basis.  I see other people drifting off or napping and I just want to tear my hair out in jealousy!  
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