How should I confront my boyfriend about this?

[OliviaXIV]

Okay, so my boyfriend and I have been dating for nearly a year now. When we first met, I didn't mind him smoking. Well, I did mind, I wanted him to quit so he can be healthy, and so I don't have to kiss Marlboro's instead of him.... He really respected my feelings about it and he took the challenge for me. He went to acupuncture and massage therapy, and was smoke free eventually.

Then he started having an occasional cigarette in social situations. He never bought his own packs or anything, he just had an occasional cigarette. I don't mind that, it's okay to have one once in a while. He's got great will power, and doesn't have much of an addictive personality at all.

Then he turned 18. And it's coming back I think, his habits. He claims he only has one in a social situation.... but he's in a social situation every day, sometimes multiple times. His friends are constantly asking him to buy them cigarettes, they smoke in his car, and he has one with them. At first I thought nothing of it, and then I added it up. He's probably having 2 or 3 cigarettes, every day. At least the equivalent to half a pack to a pack a week, depending on where he is and who he's with.

He doesn't get the withdrawl symptoms anymore, which to him is the difference between being addicted and not being addicted. I can believe that, when he was quitting he was very irritable and snappy with me. Sort of mean, it's understandable because that's just what smokers go through.

I'll be with him every step of the way, I just want to find a way to get him to quit FOR GOOD. It's a nasty habit, and I don't want it around me, despite a few exceptions.

I don't expect him to go cold turkey, but please, only once or twice a week.

I'm skeptical about him really being "quit". How could he be? He's smoking nearly every day, multiple times, that doesn't say "I'm not a smoker" to me.

How should I approach this?

[kathyjo]

I'm sorry to have to say this, but unless he wants to quit, it won't happen.
He may not be addicted yet, but knowing how it bothers you and yet he continues to smoke, then it's possible that he is well on his way.

He is young yet and probably doesn't take well to being told what to do, but perhaps if you reinerate how much it turns you off, then maybe he will see your side.

I wish you luck and so sorry I couldn't have been more help.

[jsalrot]

he must find the strength to quit within himself, right now, he doesn't want to quit.  those few cigarettes will lead to more cigarettes in the future.  its good to quit before it gets any worse, and right now he is being hooked.  he's dancing with "i can have a few a day" and that is an illusion that all people that get hooked go through.  if he had to choose between the cigarettes and you, what might he choose ?  i'm not saying you should leave him, though do consider that thought.  you have the potential to help him, and the truth of the matter, smoking is a slow death, and it always kills in the end.