I have been looking at things to help me quit smoking. Smoking aid sites have given me the first feeling of calm I have had all week from the panic of just THINKING about quitting. I buy cheap smokes and my aid can't cost very much more than my habit. I will starve lol
I smoke 1 carton-1 1/2 cartons a week for 20-30 dollars Canadian.
I do not have many dollars more than 30 a week to help me quit, but to go cold turkey means I will go insane. I am not kidding. I am not even a specific type of smoker because I smoke for everything. I smoke because I put out a smoke. I have light nagging cravings almost constantly and they turn into craving screams real fast.
So I can afford, a box of the patch a week IF I penny pinch.
A box of 42 inhaler cartridges every 1 1/2 weeks.
There is a confusing web side called e-cig that sells cheap inhaler like products. But I am so confused. Model types, liquid, cartridges, inhalers, USB cords ?!?!, stuff you plug into the wall?!?!
Maybe something I can get from my doctor in Canada that is equal or less then I can afford? Not even necessarily FOR smoking but works anyway. Like elephant tranquilizers :P
Something else lol
If you have chosen one of these, did it work? Which in your professional opinion (:P) would work best. Or for my type of smoker? Guessing is ok, that's all I am doing too lol. I am so confused.
If you tried any of these products can you describe the difference in withdrawal, how it's better than cold turkey?
I have quit so many times and have used just about everything on the market to do so. Basically, you must want to quit! Even tho you may gain a few pounds, you may be irritable for awhile, you will have to have will power when you cannot find any and after all that, you might fail, and next time too! Or you might make it and go on never to look back at it all. First start thinking about a quit date. Secondly go to the web site whyquit.com and read, and read and read some more. This is a great place for articles and will prepare you for what to expect from day one if quitting cold turkey. I quit cold turkey myself but certainly understand that that is not for everyone. Nothing worked completely for me until giving it over to God to do it for me cause I am just not strong enough. Patches are good as long as you use them as directed and take it off at bedtime or you will not sleep. I do not care for the gum because to me all that nicotine going in around the teeth and gums is just as bad as smoking them. I do use an anti anxiety med which helps me tremendously. After 25 days, I dont think of smoking much anymore but traded my addiction for jelly beans! They are fat free by the way and so is candy corn. My advice is let go and let god. He has more staying power than we do. lol
Is Chantix available in Canada? It's a smoking cessation drug sole in the US that's probably more effective than any other smoking cessation product. Pretty low side effects as well. You might be better off saving up for it..or seeing if your aid in Canada would pay for it. It's called Champix in Europe. Read up on it...
Teko is right about wanting to quit. Nothing will work if you don't put in EFFORT and really WANT it.
How I wish there was a magic something that would and could take way the physical and emotional addiction. It's very hard but we ALL had to figure out just how much we wanted to be an ex-smoker and really work at staying that way.
For the amount you pay weekly for smokes, you will be able to buy a months supply of Chantix. Out of them all, it works the best and it has no nicotine in it like the others do. Of the others, the patch is probably the best of them all. GA Guy is right about the Chantix/Champix. There is a lot said against it, but to me, it was a miracle. After a 40 year addiction I have been smoke free 2 weeks shy of 2 years. I still fight urges from time to time, but I am in control now and I will NEVER smoke again nor will I EVER let anything suck the life from me again.
Oh, BTW, you will not go insane, trust me. WILLPOWER and SUPPORT are key to a quit.
1y 11m 2w 3d 21:06 smoke-free, 15,814 cigs not smoked, $3,795.36 saved, 1m 3w 3d 21:50 life saved
Well I am going cold turkey. I smoke straws and suckers now lol
No one told me about the bursting into tears though.. I tried cutting back for a week. Oh boy did that ever hurt! I thought if that was mild withdrawal, I can't bare full on so I looked for alturnitives.. But stopping dead actually feels BETTER.
When I was cutting back my brain never shut up. It just bugged for smokes. I am not even avoiding triggers. I am telling them nothing will make me smoke again! Even when I reach to get a sucker or straw from where my smokes usually are and I get a pang. I wont move the stuff, I will reprogram ME instead!
Is crying normal first day? Did any of you cry? If so how long did it last? It could be because I tortured myself for a whole week first lol.
I also feel very weird, like I took too many pills but not pills I have tried. Kinda like sleeping pills. I read and read things to prepare me for quitting cold turkey but nowhere did it say I would cry in Walmart lol
My name is Erin, and I am a nicotine addict. I have COMPLETELY stopped nicotine for 8 (waking) hours, 39 minutes and 10 seconds.
Beating my all time record in 16 years of smoking and nothing will make me smoke again.
You go girl! Subtract your time in. from 72 (which is how long it takes the nicotine to get out of your system), that is how many hrs you got left. Hang onto that number and reach for it. Yes, tears and anxiety and tantrums of anger can all be very common. If it gets too bad some natural things to calm you would be green tea or even some herbals. Lay off caffeine as much as you can and drink lots of water and fruit juices the first few days especially cause your blood sugar will try to readjust itself. You can do this! Yes you can! I am 28 days today and do not get very many craves, those ease off dramatically after the first week, you will see! You might also want to take some melatonin to help you sleep . I still cannot sleep thru the night. Wow, you are doing great!
So are you!! That is a very long time. Honestly, I am not scared so tell me.. how many years did those 28 days take? Because I am telling you, this 10 and a half hours (I am using a tracker) has been the longest freaking time lol : P
Want to hear something nuts? I am actually enjoying some of the symptoms. Crying in Walmart is funny, one or the books. And I find it cute when I find myself REALLY tensed up for no reason, whoa unlock your self lady. It is like my shoulders are trying to swallow my head xD...
I keep hearing day two can come with the "creeps", I am not so good at handling that, so I hope some of it stays funny.
I have had REAL withdrawal before. #2ing my self, aches, panic and migraines. This ain't it...
I am just worried about the cravings because anxiety hits with the big ones. I don't like being scared, that's why I quit. I was SO scared of having no smokes that I asked strange men all the time to drive me to the smoke place. People I didn't even like. Then I realized I HATE (well dislike with a twist of disgust and contempt) the guys that take me, because they do it to try to score. That's when I realized cigarettes control me and I want more power over the people I don't like hahaha Just playing. It would be nice to choose my company more honestly though. It was the only area I wasn't true to myself.
The yellow teeth gave me nightmares all the time. When this is kicked I am going to use smoke money to whiten. Those are the big two for me, why did you quit?
Someone please tell me if my breathing is supposed to be weird? It is like deeper and slower.. and there is mild resistance. Confused...
Well you were right about the sleeping, and it's only my first day. I am exhausted and I keep twitching back awake. Every limb and muscle takes a turn waking me up by making me jump. This is far less hilarious >:(
If you made it this far, the time you have invested will be a true source of support to hang on to and not want to forfeit at this point. Day two comes and you are halfway there to getting that nicotine out of your system. Try not to dwell on the smokes and when a crave comes on look at it this way. It is your body healing itself from the bad habits. I did not quit because I wanted to. I love to smoke, love the smell, the taste, the action. But I like to breathe more and if I do not quit, I will die. I have moderate emphysema caused from smoking. I simply gave it to god and walked away from them for the last and final time. I have failed many times before but I know in my heart that this is the final hour for me and the smokes. God is at the helm this time! How are we doing this am? Did we cave or no?
Oh, it's not easy Erin : ( It makes us wonder how we ever got to this point in time...what makes me an addict and why can my friends smoke occasionally and then put them down for months at a time. How and why did it affect me differently?
I don't know if I will ever truly understand it, but reading some of the articles at whyquit makes me realize that I'm not alone in my struggle, in my addiction and I have learned ways of coping with it.
When you are struggling and when you are tempted to light up, log on to whyquit.com and read those articles under "Education" and try to understand the why and how you got to this place.
It's almost 2 years for me and I still read them from time to time : )
No I didn't cave! Nothing will make me smoke again. I am 25 hours and some minutes smoke free. Did we like the taste, smell and action? Or was that an illusion the pathetic chemical made us think? I remember several times I gagged on a bad drag and I burnt myself CONSTANTLY. I am not even sure I could REALLY like the smell when I think even all incense stinks. I think it's all lies.
It is the smell, taste and action of your addiction getting it's fix and that's all! My first drag ever, I choked my brains out. I could have argued the opposite of how I think I feel now all day. And when my mom smoked the smell bugged me. I DO NOT LOVE IT. God that's a hard one to get through my head lol. I am trying though.
I imagine the chemical as a weak monster. To keep himself alive he tells me all sorts of lies. "That lump in your neck is probably not Cancer", "You just put out a smoke, you NEED another one because I am already making you uncomfortable. The longer you wait, the more I will torture you. You NEED me, you LOVE me".
At this stage I can not afford those lies in my recovery. "If I love it, I am doing it" sounds like swell motivation. But I don't love it, it don't love me. I have a lump in my neck, and now I am crying again : P
Which made me laugh, I am like a teen again when puberty hit me with a shovel.
I got more solid sleep because I did what most adults refuse to do, I got up for a couple hours and LET MYSELF go to freaking bed again lol. I promised my body that it gets whatever it wants, just no cigarette. My brain was repeating it as I slept, in a dream I was writing for others how to get through the first 24 hours.. I am SO TENSE hahahaha, but no creeps. I am strong. I may be giving YOU the creeps though loool.
Kathy I read everything to help me prepare. It is a good site and exposed most of the lies the drug made me tell myself. I am very intelligent and that made me feel like a jerk. No excuse will do.
Why won't it's partner site let people join for 72 hours? That seems selfish don't you think. At very least there should be a newbie transition where you can only post in the "Under 72 hours and freaking out" section or something. I obviously need other people to hear me.
My name is Erin, and I am a nicotine addict.
I have stopped nicotine for 1 day, 1 hour, 12 minutes and 51 seconds (1 days).
I've saved 3 hours and 28 minutes of my life.
42 smokes butts not overflowing, out of the ashtray on to the floor. 2 minutes saved NOT sweeping. And 25 hours in the last 16 years of smoking that I did not make a mess quicker than I can keep up with.
18 ashes not dropped on to the keyboard then blown into my eyes.
Keep saying those positive phrases and never falter. There will be times when you are tempted to give into the addiction, but if you take a walk, within a few blocks the craving will have passed.
You sound like a very sensible person who has prepared for this, so remember that we are here for support and in 72 hours, you can join whyquit. I believe that the 72 hours is because it supposedly takes 3 days for nicotine to leave the body. I suppose their belief is that if you make it through those 3 days, then you are through the physical addiction and you can know work on the emotional aspect.
You sound strong and I know you understand just what this will mean for you in the future. Never lose sight of your goal and continue to kick some butt!
Sounds like yer strong! And in the right mindset! That is good! I used to belong to whyquit.. it is a wonderful place, 6 months later I failed in my quit and in order to be a member there you have to be cold, if you fail, out you go! Course I guess I didnt need to tell em, did I? I am my own worst enemy I think! lol
I am angry. I am so irritated about nothing lol. My profile said I quit for 0 days, meanwhile it has been 33 hours, and that's not right. So I wrote a journal entry that I am sure is CRAZY and lied on the chart. I went one day, it should say one day. I am not paying weird prices because I don't operate by stupid CHART TIME..
I'm sure anyone reading this who is thinking of quitting is scared now lol, and I am sure people who already quit remember this stage and probably don't miss it. ....I think I just hurt my leg tensing up so much.. ow..
I can handle it, I have had PMS almost as long as I have smoked and this is just PMS out loud and twitchy really :P.. Time is going by so slow.
Me and a friend had a fight because he said he was going to quit but every smoke he smokes is an insult to my resolve. I just stopped, I didn't wait for him or a quit date or any other excuse. All that is FEAR and fear of quitting is worse than the fear of death to most people. I keep telling him the stupid fear is 100 times worse than the quit. I told him in detail what it's like so far, it's not so bad.
It's NOT! Not for people like us who know real pain. He has a scar from crotch to knee, gang green or how ever you spell it.. Anyone who tries to tell you that quitting smoking is worse than them removing bone and stretching your leg bone out over time is a dirty liar!! It is not even close. I have had colds worse than this. The addiction tries to tell you that you never felt so bad, but it's lying and you know that with any resolve at all.
So he was hurting my feelings making me do it alone because he said he'd quit, but making excuses, being defensive. He didn't have to insult me by saying he's quitting. He could just be there :(
I ain't stupid, defense is the battle cry of 0 resolve. And I told him such and he swore at me (oh the irony)... I cried and thought I would faint, what a jerk! Right at such a tender moment in my adult development he talks the worst ever to me, I kept telling him yesterday that we shouldn't talk anymore.. THIS IS WHY and he is going to pay karma for taking advantage of my temporary weakness. I seriously started to see black. What a (group of swear words) he is for that.. Now I also feel guilty because he agreed to not smoke tonight out of anger, which wont work and I told him that too!. He can do whatever he does but the lying to me and himself *****. And doesn't help me.
I might lose my best friend because we are at different stages of addiction. I ain't putting up with his nonsense much longer. It is worse than the withdrawal.
I think It was Jade, another gal on here that said B12 helps the anxiety and anger. The kind you put under your tongue and let dissolve? Im guessing a health food store might have it. Hang in there, you are in the worst part, as long as you do not let the anger win. I remember, it gets very strong and you feel guilty about it sometimes. You are doing great! We are here for you!
I got the meter, in the first few hours my resolve was not wanting to restart the meter. I wanted to start getting "points" hehehe.. Let's see where she blows right now..
Erin -Smoke free for One Day, 18 Hours and 32 Minutes. Life saved: 5 Hours. I did not smoke 71 cigarettes and that has saved me $7.09.
I want to see my progress everywhere I can though. It helps me fight off the trickery. I am smart, so the trickery side of my brain comes up with some doozies lol..
One that near floored me yesterday was:
"You seen you can do this, so just smoke whatever you can find now and quit after that. You still ain't BUYING new smokes and that was the main concern was it not? And after you smoke what you find you can start fresher with no temptations"
It didn't make me even close to smoking but I was impressed lol. My subconscious is working overtime problem solving so I am not suffering anymore. The problem with him is that he is not afraid to fix things with a hammer and a box of explosives. He just wants to get 'er done.
I know it seems odd that I picture part of myself as a "he", but that helps me separate the voices. Plus that's a male thing, just wanting to fix everything.. No I am not a male trapped in a females body hehe
Hey I can buy a lipstick with that money I already saved (I smoked really cheap smokes). I can afford a decent piece of make up every 2 days if I don't smoke?? :o .. That's awesome. You don't want to know how many times I have had to put off buying or rationed make up. We all quit for our own reasons. Might as well do it while they are still silly and/or paranoid. That doesn't mean I have less resolve : P
B12 is great for everyone. That's a good tip. Even if you are clean and feel run down.
I felt like a bag of boiled dirt after that fight last night. I pulled a muscle in my leg, and one in the stomach. From being super tense. It reached a painful level having all that nicotine RIPPED from my blood so quickly.
Then I woke up and almost passed out, chronically going on the toilet. I think I forgot to take my opiates. I was kind of afraid to last night because they have caffeine and couldn't remember last time I took them. You could have fit me on the head of a pin last night. I was so tense I could have balanced on it : P
Do you think that pain made me want to smoke? OH MY why the heck would it?? I feel like I am getting hit with a newspaper for smoking so long in the first place.
You two being there for me was the greatest gift ever. Quitting gives me a loneliness and it's good to know that someone has been through it an actually cares a bit.
Teko? I keep thinking about you, I wonder how you "failed" and smoked after 6 months? Are you sure you didn't just do what you wanted ;)
At this point in my quit, I was locked away in my room and I don't think I had ONE rational thought. I used Chantix for my quit and was on the pill for 6 weeks. Even though you are supposed to quit after the first week on it, it took me a little longer....maybe 5 weeks.
For the first 4 months I was sick. Sinus infections, bronchitis and pleurisy and I remember writing tot his board about how ill I was and if my quit was going to affect me so adversely, why bother
Thankfully I got through it but I have to say it was the HARDEST thing I have ever done. The emotional attachment to it and how I had somehow given it "best friend" status.
My friends here, teko included, well they were so supportive and saw me through the worst : )
I posted for the first time in November 2007, teko and Jade were here already.
Have a nice day and remember that you are now a non-smoker so you have time and money to do things for yourself, reward yourself.....you deserve it : )
BTW, love the meter, flash it often and make sure you have it on your computer desktop. It greets me every morning when I turn mine on : )
Think of the money you are saving, and keep it for yourself. I am up to 250.00. That is my money! I am rewarding myself for not smoking and as long as I dont, I get to keep the money! I got it in a sock! It be mine!
You asked me what happened after six months. Well, I did no longer crave smoking so that was not it. I was so irritable and shaky inside that I just wanted to feel normal. I smoked for 35 years and did it out of stress. So, I wan ill prepared for that possibility. I picked em up deliberately and within a week I stunk again, worse habit then ever, and oh the guilt and shame I felt was horrible and then it took me a year to get the nerve to try again! So here I am! 29 days and counting, cold turkey.
You are coming up on your 72 hrs, how do you feel this am? At this point start looking at the time you got in and what you would lose if you fail and have to start over! You are at a critical point so hang on. Hugs...
I am freaking the heck out. I read something that would mess me up even with all my vices met. I don't know why I read that in my fragile state, and looked at the pictures too. I'd NEVER read something like that because I know it gives me the creeps but I did anyway. I have a "talent" of getting in peoples heads, feeling their pain.. So I avoid violence and disturbing stuff.
Ever read that one where the guy smoked and got his leg amputated? Smoked again, there goes the other leg? And what the heck, now that he's sure a few smokes makes him lose limbs, why not smoke again and lose a couple fingers from each hand next???
I am SO creeped. Women crying in horror movies ain't got nothing on how I sound. All day, I can't get it out of my mind and it is making me crave a cigarette, which is extra disturbing. I could get in his head. Where I have BEEN. Where I thought not having a smoke was a fate worse than death and any consequence would do. I was SICK.
I would have lost a limb too. How many no one can say.
And now thinking like a nonsmoker is making me really freaked out by smokers. One emailed me a minute ago and said "20th smoke of the day mmmm" and I instantly seen him in my mind with a few purposely amputated limbs. And then I got a crave :/
Great. I am like the rest of the sane world now (sorta), by why does that sick sick limb guy make me WANT a smoke? When it pops into my head I want to crawl into myself and hide.. WITH a smoke and make some limbs fall off. I think it touches on how far I have been gone too. How much I would have been through because in my mind quitting was a worse fate than death.
My new mind and my old mind are clashing bad.. I need someone to call but I have no one to call. So I have cried horrified all day.
I guess that means I am on the right crazy track then. Which is a relief, I was thinking it was ME that going nuts. I am disturbed though. But having a smoke and imagining my limbs are falling off, will do the opposite of help. Obviously.
Smoke free for 2 Days, 3 hours, 2 minutes and 19 seconds I have saved $8.49 by not smoking 85 cigarettes. I have saved 7 hours and 5 minutes of my life.
I live in NYC and for the past 3 years they have been running commercials, about 3 an hour, that are so disturbing and they all happen to be from smoking related diseases. They have interviewed countless people who were diagnosed with lung, throat, tongue cancer and at the end of the commercial, they show the day they died.
A guy with a trach, people minus limbs, fingers, toes....all of them are aired during the morn., afternoon & night...CBS, ABC, Fox, NBC, all of the major stations, all in an effort to make people stop smoking. NYC offers free patches, lozenges, gum and their constant barrage of anti smoking detterents have worked (me) and are working. Never mind that you can't smoke anywhere in NYC.
When I was smoking, I freaked everytime one of those commercials ran. I got up and did something to take me out of earshot or sometimes, I turned it off. It is was it is, in all it's ugliness.......people who smoke and some that have quit will get sick. Thats a fact, like it or not. What you can do is exactly what you are doing now....quit and hope with a healthy lifestyle that you will be one of those to escape the consequences.
I went to the doctor a few weeks back and found that I had COPD. Okay, 40 years of smoking and I had to expect that I wouldn't come away unscathed. That's not going to make me stop fighting and I will protect my quit every minute of every day because my quality of life is SO much better now then it has ever been : )
You can handle it, stay strong : )
Kathyjo, I did not know about you and COPD. What did the doc say?
Awesome Erin! Hang in there! Wow! your doing great! Spend your time getting the smell off your clothes and outta your car! My hubby came in the front door the other day and bent down to give me a kiss and it gagged me! OH NO! Thats a new one! Now he is thinking about quitting, but his habit is like 2 or three a day! Me it had to be 2 or three packs a day!
I know, I have read it several times. The difference between then and now is cute and very noticeable :P You should be proud of your strength!.. What is COPD?
I always think it can happen to me. I don't think I am getting off free. I have a lump in my neck. My lungs have never been checked. I have a lump in my neck.. I said it twice, but it's a lump..in my neck... And not smoking hasn't made it go away or feel different. My cheek and neck on that side still have that toxin, chain smoke tingle as well.
I told my doctor about it and he passed it over really quickly. But I stopped thinking that means something good. Doctors are usually good only in certain areas. He is more my nut doctor :P
I am level headed right now, thank GOD or my resolve or my quickly mending body, something!.. Wow nonsmoking thoughts and smokers daily lies are so different and when they came to a cross roads, logic v.s. fear exploded from every pore.
My friend said he went 24 hours without smoking. I want to believe him but he was on mic and he said "I'm not smoking" out of nowhere guilty like. And I kept hearing lighter sounds. I am not being "paranoid" with loved ones, in fact I'd love to be proud of him! But he is making it hard to believe him. If he ain't still nuts tomorrow, I will know and he better not lie. That's all I ever asked from him! Don't lie to me or yourself, just be there!
Smoke free for 2 Days, 9 hours, 1 minute and 30 seconds
I have saved $9.49 by not smoking 95 cigarettes.
I have saved 7 hours and 55 minutes of my life.
Hi and congrats on nearly 3days! You're going to begin to see a bit of a difference in how you feel by the fourth day :) I haven't been able to post due to a shoulder problem, but have been following your thread :)
Listen now, try not to let the fact that your friend is still smoking have anything to do with you. If he stops, great, if not, you just take care of yourself. I am having a similar problem with my husband. He smokes pot. I do to, but only 'cause he does. He told me he would stop when I quit the cigs again. Well I quit last Apil, but he didn't and my disappointment and anger with him was something else. Sooo angry and I let those emotions affect my quit and I failed because I was too worried about what HE was doing. I am now 16days into my quit and leaving him behind. I have to focus on myself. Be prepared. Your friend will most likely lie to you just to get you off his back as he's clearly not ready. If he really did quit you'd be hearing ALL ABOUT IT! My husband smokes every night, but thinks he can lie to me. I am ON to him. If your friend quit he wouldn't say "I'm not smoking" all quiet like, he'd be Yelling it to you and complaining about w/d's, etc.
I haven't been completely successful with the weed 'cause it's always here, but I haven't smoked cigs. This is the LAST quit for me!
You are doing great and I love how you're using this forum to write down your every thought :) I used to do that, but feel a little embarassed since this is my third time LOL!
2w 1d 18:34 smoke-free, 156 cigs not smoked, $42.90 saved, 13:00 life saved
Countin down the hours! Not long now and then you can join whyquit! Yay! I had gained a little weight because my new love is jellybeans! I was contemplating a diet now that it has been about a month off smokes. I went to the dentist today, he pulled three teeth and I cannot eat a thing! The Lord works in mysterious ways! LOL
I am soooo proud of you! The way to success is to Never Take another Puff! No Not One! The secret to our success is out!
I just read something about you forgetting to take your opiates? How they have caffeine in them? If you don't mind me asking, do you take Fiorinal/Fioricet? What brought me to this site 2yrs ago was looking up the interaction of nicotine and meds. Nicotine reacts with this drug. When I quit smoking on 07, I felt so good I was forgetting to take my meds on time which put me into w/d which led to SEVERE anxiety and panic attacks. I didn't realize all this at the time :(
It's important you keep your med regimen exactly the same as before you quit smoking...at least for now :)
Today my stomach has finally relaxed and unclenched.. I am barely craving even though I haven't allowed myself to think of anything else but smoking for days. I can't afford to stop thinking about it. I was a habit chain smoker. Paralyzed by fear so I told myself all sorts of lies. Now they are unraveling and I am mourning them. There were A LOT of lies. I am crying a lot and forcing myself to face them.
The biggest one is also the deadliest. Ignore the lung pain, ignore the lump in your neck, ignore that thing in your leg that moves up slowly. Over months it has traveled about 18 inches. I realize that I am probably being paranoid about some of it. But all? I haven't let the doctor check for anything and he hasn't asked. He touched my neck briefly, not good enough!..
Then the same fear stems to my sexual health as well, I guess my brain figures there is enough fear to go around, why not ignore some symptoms of STD's too. Smoking didn't cause that terrible itch but this lie blanket is big enough to cover those lies too.
Guys I suffered with a yeast infection.. the entire duration, hiding the fact because I thought it was something "worse", right under the blanket smoking gave me. Months later I realized it was just a normal feminine problem and felt stupid. But without that blanket I would have got some Vagisil or something DAM it!, that's how powerful and dangerous it is. It makes me "ignore things until they go away"..
Got panic and anxiety, suicidal and weird thoughts? Don't ask for help, have a smoke, the blanket is big enough for whatever ails you!
Why not cover up an opiate addiction too, they can help each other survive! Afraid of liver damage? Ignore that fear until it goes away for now.
Maybe it doesn't work that way for everyone but once I ignored my first chest pain and lung cancer warning, it was applied knowledge I used for everything serious and semi serious until I was SURE I was going to die, then I'd try to get help but everything I hid for years/months came out too and no one took me seriously...
The chemicals are not the most dangerous part. The DENIAL is deadly!
Now I am going to call and make a doctors appointment. And try not to cry when they wont make it soon enough. And I am going to MAKE him look into the lump on my neck! Because ignoring neck lumps are how people die at 30.
It is like 500000 lies died at once. I feel like a person died and am mourning and crying. Because every lie I knew was a lie, most times not so deep down ..and now I must face them and never tell them to myself again. It is scary and fascinating.
My opiates are Tylenol ones, down from 7 at a time :/ .. to 2 and they are next.
My doctor is in a different town and always makes me wait weeks, could I go to the hospital?
Smoke free for 2 Days, 23 hours, 23 minutes and 44 seconds
I have saved $11.89 by not smoking 118 cigarettes.
I have saved 9 hours and 50 minutes of my life. (hopefully)
Make an appointment ASAP so you can stop torturing yourself. Make an appointment with a dermatologist for the lump on your neck. If your GP wasn't worried about it, I wouldn't either, but you seem to be, so get it checked out.
You are doing great, keep it up.
OH, here was my mantra for a long time. You may have stumbled on it but it certainly worth posting it:
"My Cigarette, My Friend?"
by Joel Spitzer
How do you feel about a friend who has to go everywhere with you? Not only does he tag along all the time, but since he is so offensive and vulgar, you become unwelcome when with him. He has a peculiar odor that sticks to you wherever you go. Others think both of you stink.
He controls you totally. When he says jump, you jump. Sometimes in the middle of a blizzard or storm, he wants you to come to the store and pick him up. You would give your spouse hell if he or she did that to you all the time, but you can't argue with your friend. Sometimes, when you are out at a movie or play he says he wants you to go stand in the lobby with him and miss important scenes. Since he calls all the shots in your life, you go. Your friend doesn't like your choice of clothing either. Instead of politely telling you that you have lousy taste, he burns little holes in these items so you will want to throw them out. Sometimes, he tires of the furniture and gets rid of it too. Occasionally, he gets really nasty and decides the whole house must go.
He gets pretty expensive to support. Not only is his knack of property destruction costly, but you must pay to keep him with you. In fact, he will cost you thousands of dollars over your lifetime. And you can count on one thing, he will never pay you a penny in return.
Often at picnics you watch others playing vigorous activities and having lots of fun doing them. But your friend won't let you. He doesn't believe in physical activity. In his opinion, you are too old to have that kind of fun. So he kind of sits on your chest and makes it difficult for you to breathe. Now you don't want to go off and play with other people when you can't breathe, do you?
Your friend does not believe in being healthy. He is really repulsed by the thought of you living a long and productive life. So every chance he gets he makes you sick. He helps you catch colds and flu. Not just by running out in the middle of the lousy weather to pick him up at the store. He is more creative than that. He carries thousands of poisons with him which he constantly blows in your face. When you inhale some of them, they wipe out cilia in your lungs which would have helped you prevent these diseases.
But colds and flu are just his form of child's play. He especially likes diseases that slowly cripple you—like emphysema. He considers this disease great. Once he gets you to have this, you will give up all your other friends, family, career goals, activities—everything. You will just sit home and caress him, telling him what a great friend he is while you desperately gasp for air.
But eventually your friend tires of you. He decides he no longer wishes to have your company. Instead of letting you go your separate ways, he decides to kill you. He has a wonderful arsenal of weapons behind him. In fact, he has been plotting your death since the day you met him. He picked all the top killers in society and did everything in his power to ensure you would get one of them. He overworked your heart and lungs. He clogged up the arteries to your heart, brain, and every other part of your body. In case you were too strong to succumb to this, he constantly exposed you to cancer causing agents. He knew he would get you sooner or later.
Well, this is the story of your "friend," your cigarette. No real friend would do all this to you. Cigarettes are the worst possible enemies you ever had. They are expensive, addictive, socially unacceptable, and deadly. Consider all this and NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF!
Did anyone else hallucinate? I still am. I have been crying, and I looked in the mirror just now and I JUMPED lol. My nose and eyes were bright red and my skin was paper white!!
Egads! Then after half a second and a few blinks my eyes I adjusted.
And the first day my teeth looked green. Not so yellow that.. but like dark green, until I blinked a couple times.
I wonder why I never read of anyone else hallucinating but I get the fine pleasure? Good thing I did a lot of weird drugs lol. The one and only upside is knowing when you are hallucinating and not actually vampire-ish with green teeth OR losing your mind lol.
I am going nuts a bit, with my hypochondriac attacks and dark thoughts. But we KNEW I'd go nuts, I told us in the first post :P.. Somehow knowing it was coming made it possible to manage. I didn't kid myself.
I had a hypochondriac fit when I had a baby in my tube. I quit the opiates cold and cut down the smokes. I didn't know any better! Even the opposite would have made me less sick and nuts!! Anyway, during that fit, the guy was with came across like the splitting image of that story lol. I know it's about a cigarette, but in my heart, that was that guy, every word of it..
Still not sure if it was true, it doesn't matter because for SURE he wasn't a great guy.
Like he burnt me with cigarettes "by accident" and didn't apologize. I ain't reliving it again, I just did with that smoke story, but the moral is, true or just perceived, I still RAN FROM HIM AS FAST AS MY STAINED PANTS WOULD CARRY ME lol (cold turkey opiate withdrawal is nasty)..
Smoking is the same. That's why I got the creeps. It is amplified from withdrawal but it is not inaccurate in the least.
Do you know of any other ACTIVE quit smoking communities? I am feeling mostly back to my old self, yep I am still cool :P.. Anyway, I filed to join Freedom like hours ago and they wont respond. so I sent this:
"What could I have done wrong? I am still just three days in, time isn't fast you know. And I waited and waited to get in here because I have been lonely and scared!!
You can track my whole quit the last three days in a different forum if you don't "believe" me.
Why did I even wait? I went by the rules now I don't even get a prompt reply. I think you can hurt people more than help them.
... I'll go back to reading articles and be completely alone. And you guys go back to editing peoples "Freedom" of speech in their forum posts. I may be totally alone but at least I don't have a god complex. There should be a warning on this site "As you quit, don't get your hopes up about getting in here. Hell we wont even reply to you for hours and hours."
And that's what smoker me would have said heheheh. Yep I didn't turn nerdy like I feared. But guys, is there anywhere more active than this?
(Although I love how they haven't given me trouble for asking about quit aids then quitting cold turkey outload lol)
Sorry, but I don't know of any board like medhelp.
I would suggest keeping a journal and if you belong to more than just the smoking addiction board, then I'm sure you will get more responses.
It's difficult for me to converse with anything off topic as I'm uncomfortable with it, sorry.
I will always support your quit if and when you need it.
Almost missed your post as you had it linked to an old thread!
I certainly understand the reference to not a happy camper, I think those of us who have quit felt that way : )
Now a days, when surgery is involved, they don't want to take the risk of performing an operation on a smoker and I can't blame them. I had surgery in 2000, a thyroidectomy, and I had to wear this heavy elastic body suit, like spanx but full body, because all smokers have issues with their circulatory system. After awakening from the surgery, in pain an with a drain sticking out of my neck and the catheter attached (had to be intubated) I tried to get out of bed to have a smoke! My throat was SO hoarse and yet, all I could think about was smoking! I stayed overnight and left the next morning and what was the first thing I did upon leaving the hospital, still with the drain (2 weeks with the drain), I smoked. Boy was I ever faithful to my true love, my best friend, my cigarette.
Now none of this helps you but I had to share and try to paint a picture of the addict I once was, 40 years a smoker.
When I quit, it was because I had been on an inhaler for 5 years and I needed more then the 2 puffs that I was allotted. I had joined a gym and was having difficulty with stamina. My doc suggested Chantix and, to me, it was the best thing that could have ever happened.
I stumbled upon this board when I was frantically looking for someone who knew what I was going through. That was almost 2 years ago and I have found strength and comfort ever since : ) I have also found whyquit.com which is a website that supports a cold turkey quit, but anyone can read their articles. I suggest that you read them all. There is an article for every feeling you will have or have had. Anytime you get a craving, read an article : )
We are going to be here for you, whatever your problems. Good luck to you : )
start a new thread so your post doesn't get lost
I know this is an old post but I want to let anyone who comes across this and the internet know that I did quit. I kept it up and never took another drag since that day. It was hard, I went crazy but I did it cold turkey and I stuck to it.
I have been told I would fail, I cried for weeks, I have gotten drunk, I have watched people smoke and was never tempted in a real way. I know I will never smoke again. Failure is not an option for me.
That being said I do have a craving here and there and I still smoke in dreams. It is a process. But I am much happier and have more money to spend on the stuff I want and need.
I recommend quitting, cold turkey, right now with no excuses to anyone. My and my friend both did and we both are still not smoking! And never will.
I quit Sept 28 2009 9:32am. I never took another puff.
If you can go 9 days, you can go a life time!.. If you tell yourself you will never have another drag your addiction can't try to make deals with you. Like 'after this pack' or "i wonder if I can have just 1 smoke".. That's the biggest tip I can give. Make smoking not an option.
wow...good for you hon, over 3 years...I just read thru you post and thats where I am right NOW...day #3. and just wanted to say it really does help to read of someones long term success.
what did that lump in your neck turn out to be? I'm so glad your still with us...and for the update, thx♥
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