Smoking Addiction Community
going crazy...literally
About This Community:

Welcome to Smoking Addiction Forum. This forum is for questions and support for people with, or for loved ones of people who smoke and are trying to quit. The forum covers topics ranging from Cessation Programs and Products, Health Issues, How to Quit, Reasons to Quit, Relapse Prevention, Friend and Family Support.

Font Size:
A
A
A
Background:
Blank
Blank
Blank
Blank Blank

going crazy...literally

Tried to quit...lasted almost 3 days.
And then I tried to kill hubby...
I went seriously crazy. I wanted to slice his face off with a knife!
Scared the daylights out of me...so I went and bought a pack and chain smoked half a pack.
I went to see my doctor and I told him exactly what happened and exactly what I was feeling at that moment.
He asked me if this has ever happened before, or if I have ever had these feelings before...I said no, and now he's  sending me to see someone that "can help".

I have an appointment for the middle of next month.
Not sure who he's sending me to see...it's someone in the same office as him...and there are no psychiatrists in that office...but he did mention that this person could help with the smoking thing...so maybe he's just sending me to see some sort of health unit type person...you know the type...the lady that has never had a smoke in her entire life and she's going to tell me how easy it is to quit...etc.

I think the worst part about trying to quit is ex-smokers.
They sit there and tell you every single detail about how they quit and what they felt, and how they still want one even 27 years later...so then you think to yourself " How am I going to do this?" Why would I want to quit if I'm going to be craving them everyday for the rest of my life anyway?
It's the ex smokers that make it so incredibly hard for me...and it's the "never had one in my life people" that just really annoy me when they make their dumb comments..." Just quit"....SOOOOOOOO easy for them to say.

So I guess I'll just keep sneaking smokes behind hubby's back until I see this "specialist" next month...either that or slice his face off.
I can't believe I got that violent! I am such a shy, quiet person...people walk all over me all the time...and here I up and get violent! Very spooky!
Anyone else go through that?
Related Discussions
13 Comments Post a Comment
Blank
242912_tn?1402547092
Hi there.  Trust me, you are not alone with the intense anger and anxiety when first quitting.  You may need something to help you through the first few months.  MANY of us have needed something short term to get through the first 6mo's or so.  While you're waiting for your dr appt, has anyone told you about whyquit.com?  Very good site that supports a cold turkey quit if you want to join, but all the reading material is available to anyone.  It will help you to understand what to expect when you quit smoking along with why you began smoking in the first place.  Most people start when they're young to cope with anxiety and depression, but not necessarily.  Some begin smoking to be cool or due to peer pressure.  No matter how you begin, it ends up being used as a coping tool for stress.  Keep in mind, w/d from nicotine takes about 72hrs, but that is the physical part and only the beginning and the mental battle can go on for much longer so knowing what to expect will help you a great deal in being successful.

It took me five times since 07 to get where I'm at today.  Each quit taught me what to expect and I learned more coping tools with each try.  This last time, I figured it would take 9mos to a year in order for the anxiety to level off and everything has been right on target.    

Good Luck to You!  We are here if you need us.  Read whyquit.com!!! : )

---
1y 1m 17:07 smoke-free, 3,956 cigs not smoked, $1,087.90 saved, 1w 6d 17:40 life saved
Blank
1572585_tn?1309248654
I had to use Chantix to help me quit... I don't recommend it, specially if you suffer from mental illness such as bipolar, side effects can be heavy. I took it for a month and started being more depressed than usual and started havign bizarre thoughts but thank God the Nicotine was already out of my body... I have tried the patches in the past as well and the gum... They worked for me while on them, but as soon as I quit using them I picked up again. Now I go to NicA almost everyday, a 12 step program for NIcotine addicts. It helps a lot. Let me know if you want more info on it, I'd be happy to help.  Good luck,

Ed
Blank
784382_tn?1376934640
wow i wanna quit but you guys are scaring me!....lol....

damn cigs give withdrawls like a pill addiction
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
First, if your sneaking around behind hubbys back, your not going to succeed. You have already determined that your gonna smoke so be honest about it. Secondly, you simply do not have the mindset needed to do it at this time. The anxiety and anger mount as you go thru the withdrawel secretly feeling deprived instead of using the will power to move you on. Your just not as motivated as you need be and are looking for excuses and a way out and maybe you dont even realize it yet. My anger and anxiety came at a much later time and it was like 6 months into it. Dont listen to anyone tell you its all in your head cause whether it is or it isnt is beside the point. You need something to get thru it. I bet you I tried and failed to quit 30 times and each time it was different depending on where my head was at when I was trying. My mind knew I must quit, but the problem was I just plain liked to smoke and correlated it with so many things in a days time that it was almost impossible to do and I literally thru tantrums because I would try to quit but felt so deprived and felt sorry for myself at the same time. When I actually learned tohate what they were doing to me, it changed things. Go to the doc, keep trying and you will succeed but above all u must be honest with u. Start there.
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
I see too someone mention chantix. They just released a study in the last week on this stuff. People committing suicide as a result of taking it. Please do not take this if you are having anxiety already.
Blank
209987_tn?1334790318
Hey thanks all!

You couldn't pay me to take ANY pills! I've had some really bad reactions to all sorts of prescriptions in the past, and the last thing I want to do is try something I've never tried before.
My doctor already told me that I couldn't take any of those chantix, champix, or whatever...I have had depression in the past ( 18 years ago) so he said that NO good doctor would ever prescribe any of these stop smoking pills to me, as I would probably get extremely depressed or suicidal...then again, one of the side effects of quitting smoking is depression/suicide...at least that's what the pamphlet they gave me says on it...who knows?
I can't use the patch as I have a tape allergy...I have very few teeth (accident when I was 12) so I have never been able to chew gum...I swallowed a lozenge and I got so sick from it that I will never use another in my life...so that leaves cold turkey...

And yes...It's true...I DON"T WANT TO QUIT!!!  I HAVE TO!! And that makes me very angry. I hate my hubby for getting sick!  I hate the fact that I have to quit because of him! I resent him for it!!!

Ok...there...it's out of my system now! lol

Anyway...I'm trying hypnotherapy right now. I'm also reading "The Easy Way" by Allen Carr. Hopefully something (like a huge brick) will hit me, and I'll be able to quit nice and painlessly.
Or maybe I'll be hit by a comet. Either way, I'm betting something will eventually happen. lol

Thanks to all for listening to me rant!
Blank
874521_tn?1375890587
honey....first of all you have to believe that you can do it but most importantly is you have to get it into your mind that you are doing this for YOU not b/c hubby is sick and not b/c you have too but b/c you WANT TO FOR YOURSELF, until you can get this into your mind you won't be successful....
Push all that anger you have towards those damn cigarettes rather than anger towards your husband and his illness,....count this as a second chance for YOU alone!!!
best of luck honey....:o)
Blank
1572585_tn?1309248654
"I had to use Chantix to help me quit... I don't recommend it, specially if you suffer from mental illness such as bipolar, side effects can be heavy. "

THIS IS WHAT I SAID ABOUT CHANTIX!! I REITERATE: I DON'T RECOMMEND IT.. I just shared I had to use it as last resort...sheesh!

Blank
Avatar_f_tn
I just noticed that you mentioned Chantex but didnt really read what you had to say about it. I just wanted to put it out there that there was a new report out in the last few days claiming a high suicide rate as a result. I actually did not notice whether you recommended it or not, however I see that you already knew the warnings. I too could never use it or anything like it as I too have severe reactions to meds.
Blank
1572585_tn?1309248654
Yes... Chantix can be dangerous...Thanks for responding.
Blank
209987_tn?1334790318
Ok, so I went to that appointment yesterday...the lady that was supposed to help me to find a way to quit didn't help in the least...not really.
She told me to keep smoking until she can get me in to see a psychiatrist.
This was after I filled out a questionaire that told her that I have extremely bad anxiety/panic attacks and such. She asked me tons of questions and noted that I have IBS ( which causes anxiety and in turn anxiety causes IBS.) She also noted that I have ADD/ADHD ( which I already knew ...thank you very much).
In fact, I knew without her telling me that I suffered from all of this...I've tried all sorts of "miracle pills" in the past for anxiety, depression, etc.
I wasted her time, she wasted mine.

She asked why I was there then...I told her that it was because my well meaning doctor sent me to see her because I wanted to kill my husband...I told her that it was some sort of psychotic episode due to trying to quit smoking...I told her that my doctor said that she would help me.
She said that I really need to control my anxiety, IBS, and ADD/ADHD BEFORE I could quit smoking.
I told her again that I refuse to take pills and asked if there was a better/different way to do this. She told me that she was sending me to a psychiatrist that deals specifically with dealing with patients that have "other" medical issues that need certain combinations of pills to deal with each of their individual problems.
I told her that this was going to take years, because first this psychiatrist was going to have to deal with my pill taking phobia!

I then told her thanks for nothing...I'm going home to chain smoke now and die of a stroke or heart attack.
She asked me if I really wanted to quit. I told her yes. I've been reading everything I can (including all of your helpful comments) and I've decided that I really want to now...but I'm too addicted. I am down to around 5 or so a day (compared to the pack a day) but I just can't seem to stop myself. The fear of hurting someone is always in the back of my mind.

She told me that if I really wanted to quit that all I have to do is...QUIT!
I asked her if she had ever smoked...of course she hadn't...thanks lady.

I realize that many of you have quit cold turkey and have used sheer will power to conquer this terrible addiction...however, I can't...I am weak, I have no will power...or at least no long lasting will power.
I am so proud of those of you that have quit...and very jealous at the same time.

I pray for strength and will power all the time...but they don't come.

It must seem to some of you that the desire to quit is not there/or that I'm looking for excuses...or that I haven't come to grips with it yet,
...but trust me...I have. Every day I fear that this will be the day that I get cancer, heart disease, or COPD...and still I can't stop myself.
The hypnosis tapes are not working...I listen to them every day and night...every time I get time alone I listen to them...and yes, I do listen to them with an open mind...I go into it with a positive thought " This is going to work! This time I WILL quit!"

I have tried so many times before, and unless someone is willing to (physically) sit with me and put up with my fits of anger and crying...then it is hopeless. This seems to me to be the only way that it will work. I don't smoke when people are around...as long as they can keep me busy...and yes, I have tried on my own to keep busy...I think it's having people sitting here and the embarrassment of possibly getting "caught" that keeps me from smoking...not sure. It's like the closet drinker that waits for everyone to leave before they start drinking. They won't do it, no matter how bad the withdrawls are, if someone else is around. My ex step-mom was one of those.

My ex husband and I had tried to quit together at one time...he used the patch and I used herbal smokes (which you can't get anymore) and it worked...we were smoke free for about 2 weeks...and then someone came over with real smokes and we started again...stupid I know...
I think maybe I like to smoke but just terrified of the consequences...but I've been told by specialists that No one likes to smoke...you're just addicted and making excuses when you say you like to do it...so I guess that means I don't like to do it. So why and how would I have quit while smoking fake ones if the addictive chemicals weren't there?
Someone please explain that one to me. lol
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
Nah, a person can like to smoke. I disagree that it is all about addicion. Just like the guy who smokes pot does it because he likes to, so do wee that use tobacco. In fact, that is the hardest part about quitting imo. I like it, I miss it and feel deprived if I cannot have it, along with the state of mind and the mental and physical addiction. It is really tuff to maintain that quit! Fortunately, the longer you maintain the more likely you are to succeed. Who wants to thro away 6 months worth of effort or even a year and do it all over again! Not me! lol
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
My husband smokes maybe a pack every two weeks. But tell him he cannot and see what happens. As much as he says he can lay em down anytime he wants, the fact is that he doesnt want and therefore cannot. lol

Sometimes I dream about smoking. Scary huh?
Blank
Post a Comment
To
Blank
Weight Tracker
Weight Tracker
Start Tracking Now
Smoking Addiction Community Resources
RSS Expert Activity
469720_tn?1388149949
Blank
Abdominal Aortic Aneurysm-treatable... Blank
Oct 04 by Lee Kirksey, MDBlank
242532_tn?1269553979
Blank
The 3 Essentials to Ending Emotiona...
Sep 18 by Roger Gould, M.D.Blank
242532_tn?1269553979
Blank
Control Emotional Eating with this ...
Sep 04 by Roger Gould, M.D.Blank
Top Addiction Answerers
4522800_tn?1405696702
Blank
VICourageous
ID
675718_tn?1321008971
Blank
drifter0213
El Paso, TX
242912_tn?1402547092
Blank
Jade59
CA
7808984_tn?1406684565
Blank
dirtydirk
detroit, MI