Aa
relapse ?
I quit smoking on November 13. I was just down in Disney World and my man handed me a diamond ring!! Beautiful...we've been together 8 years. I never thought I'd get a ring!
Anyway...we had a shot and a drink to celebrate our engagement...one led to more ... and I broke...I had two cigarettes! :(
I have since had some alcohol on Christmas night and did NOT smoke...I didn't even want to smoke. The reality is that while on vacation there were a couple days that I was having nagging cigarette cravings...it was easy enough to pass off because WDW only has limited smoking areas...which made me quite happy :) but of course, at the resort, the smoking area was next to the bar...LOL.
Oh well...I am not going to beat myself up about it...it was a mistake. My Fiance (hehe, I love saying that) is disappointed, but isn't on my case constantly about it either. I have not smoked since... nor do I want to. well, that's a lie...I will admit I still have cravings. I have not been taking my chantix either though...and I'm almost out, not sure if I can swing the cost of another rx...I may need to count on my Higher Power, you, and my faithful Double Bubble chewing gum!
why is it, the longer I'm away from the cigarettes, the more I want one?
well, just for the rest of tonight, I'm not going to smoke. ;)
Anyway...we had a shot and a drink to celebrate our engagement...one led to more ... and I broke...I had two cigarettes! :(
I have since had some alcohol on Christmas night and did NOT smoke...I didn't even want to smoke. The reality is that while on vacation there were a couple days that I was having nagging cigarette cravings...it was easy enough to pass off because WDW only has limited smoking areas...which made me quite happy :) but of course, at the resort, the smoking area was next to the bar...LOL.
Oh well...I am not going to beat myself up about it...it was a mistake. My Fiance (hehe, I love saying that) is disappointed, but isn't on my case constantly about it either. I have not smoked since... nor do I want to. well, that's a lie...I will admit I still have cravings. I have not been taking my chantix either though...and I'm almost out, not sure if I can swing the cost of another rx...I may need to count on my Higher Power, you, and my faithful Double Bubble chewing gum!
why is it, the longer I'm away from the cigarettes, the more I want one?
well, just for the rest of tonight, I'm not going to smoke. ;)
dammit...i had a cig again today. I gotta go get more chantix. i couldn't stop obsessing about having one...so i did...i had one. i tasted gross...i had to brush my teeth afterwords cuz my mouth is gross tasting now. I'm so dissappointed in myself. but i will move on...
i will continue to fight this battle. omg, this is the hardest thing to quit.
things are going on in my life and i'm feeling down...I just found out that i am type 2 diabetic, which means I may not be able to donate my kidney to my friend who is in desperate need of one...I feel like I've let her down. I have to get my cholesterol down, and my weight down...i've been eating non stop the past couple days...it may be because i know i need to change my eating habits...and i want to eat as much as I can now before i start this 'diet' that I will need to be on forever. I quit smoking for alot of reasons but the biggest one was so I could donate this kidney...and then having only one kidney afterwords, i wont be able to smoke...
but now i may not be able too...and that makes me want to smoke...my inner addict is saying "why bother staying quit, light up another!" and I fell for it...today.
when I get home, i'm going to take that chantix box directly to the pharmacy and get a refill...I have to. I need to not smoke for so many more reasons...like my all around health, my financial health and so many things. I want to be around for when my grandbaby graduates high school and then college and gets married and has children!
dammit.
i will continue to fight this battle. omg, this is the hardest thing to quit.
things are going on in my life and i'm feeling down...I just found out that i am type 2 diabetic, which means I may not be able to donate my kidney to my friend who is in desperate need of one...I feel like I've let her down. I have to get my cholesterol down, and my weight down...i've been eating non stop the past couple days...it may be because i know i need to change my eating habits...and i want to eat as much as I can now before i start this 'diet' that I will need to be on forever. I quit smoking for alot of reasons but the biggest one was so I could donate this kidney...and then having only one kidney afterwords, i wont be able to smoke...
but now i may not be able too...and that makes me want to smoke...my inner addict is saying "why bother staying quit, light up another!" and I fell for it...today.
when I get home, i'm going to take that chantix box directly to the pharmacy and get a refill...I have to. I need to not smoke for so many more reasons...like my all around health, my financial health and so many things. I want to be around for when my grandbaby graduates high school and then college and gets married and has children!
dammit.
I'm happy to hear that you put them down again, and yes, the craving can get to you, and you cannot beat yourself up but you might want to finish your chantix and then buy another and wean off them.
I used Chantix and while taking them for a period of time I found that they really helped...no craves at all, I also realized that once I stopped, I had to deal with w/d, physical and emotional and that's when whyquit really helped me. After smoking for 40 years and using chantix for 6 weeks, I thought I was skating through it until I quit the pills. I think that at some point, regardless of how long you use them, you will have this too.
You have to protect your quit and it's important to recognize certain triggers and really work on that behavior. I'd say that 9 out of 10 smokers slip where alcohol is involved. Smoking and drinking are social things but to an emotional addict they are a real NO NO.
Don't beat yourself up but don't let your defenses down again. A month of chantix is certainly cheaper then a lifetime of smokes : )
BTW, congrats on your engagement!
I used Chantix and while taking them for a period of time I found that they really helped...no craves at all, I also realized that once I stopped, I had to deal with w/d, physical and emotional and that's when whyquit really helped me. After smoking for 40 years and using chantix for 6 weeks, I thought I was skating through it until I quit the pills. I think that at some point, regardless of how long you use them, you will have this too.
You have to protect your quit and it's important to recognize certain triggers and really work on that behavior. I'd say that 9 out of 10 smokers slip where alcohol is involved. Smoking and drinking are social things but to an emotional addict they are a real NO NO.
Don't beat yourself up but don't let your defenses down again. A month of chantix is certainly cheaper then a lifetime of smokes : )
BTW, congrats on your engagement!
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