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relaspe
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relaspe

OK  this month I have smoked less than a carton................Most smoking done in the last 10 days. Ugggggg
  I am bi-polar and I can not take Chanax, I tried it a few years..... back and started spiralling down toward depression
I started the month well.............with Nicorette Gum. Sad to say it was working!!!!!! and I chose to pick up a cigarette after 10 days smoke free. Smoked 1 pack........ Went and got the e-cig. and haven't been able to put more than 5 days together sense.
Now I am lacking the willingness to start over................Husdand is rather critical.
I feel so altered by the yo-yo of smoke now...smoke later...smoke only 3......This addiction is making me crazy.
Suggestions.................Maybe I started all wrong, perhaps I should have more support in place.............
Talk to me like I am a 5th grader and knows nothing about kicking.
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326505_tn?1304172825
Okay, there is no nicotine replacement, it exists but for the sole purpose of having to line their pockets....wouldn't surprise me if these companies (Nicorette Gum, e-cigs) are owned by the tobacco companies!
Cold turkey is the only way and though it's not easy, it works best. Forget tapering and really, stop the excuses.
Stress is in EVERYONE'S life, you are not alone. It's important for you to understand how you/me/we made the connection. Why do we believe that a cigarette (leaf wrapped in paper, treated with about 4,000 chemicals) is going to have the POWER to calm us? Really think about the CONTROL we have given this 5" cylinder shaped thing!
Who's in charge? Put it down and begin fighting to take back control over your life. Don't make excuses for your relapses, just do it and if you should cheat, well that's on you and remember who you are cheating.....I have been on this board for over 3 years and I have seen thousands come and go, most have diagnosis of similar issues so know you aren't alone in your fight.
Just do it! Put them down and we are going to support you.
Read the articles at whyquit.com and try to find yourself in them...that's what worked for me. Keep a journal and post here whenever you feel an urge. Take a walk, deep breaths, exercise....whatever it takes to get you through the 3 days of physical w/d. Then you will have to deal with the emotional part, a lot tougher to be sure but if you truly understand the "WHY" you have linked smoking with stress relief, you will be successful in your quit.
Good Luck!
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16 Comments Post a Comment
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874521_tn?1375890587
oh freebi, I have been there same as you soooo many times hon, I was the classic 'quitter' friends/family never knew from one visit to the next if I was smoking or not....it was day by day, or week by week for me for at least 9 years now!!!!
Was dx'd with copd in 07, and the shortness of breath (s.o.b.) began getting worse this past year.....last spring each time I would break down and buy a pack with each cigarette I would tell 'it' how horrible it was, how much i hated it and 'it' was killing me.....did the cut back all last year, got it down to where I only smoked 2 packs a week(down from 7)....
all the while doing the stopping on and off thing too.
finally in Oct. I said this is enough!!!!
either admitt your gonna smoke till you die or stop it....its all a matter of just finally making up your mind...whose in control.
so Nov I quit and its gonna be once and for all this time, I admit I have had the odd borrowed one, thats gotta stop too.
I chew, but only 3-4 pieces a day and I'm working on stopping that too and SOON...

hon, just make up your mind what YOU want, don't allow these devils to control you...it will make you crazy to constantly be starting and stopping. I was a smoker for 46 yrs..I know how hard it is BUT ITS NOT IMPOSSIBLE, I think the rule is you just gotta want it badly.

good luck hon♥
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326505_tn?1304172825
Okay, there is no nicotine replacement, it exists but for the sole purpose of having to line their pockets....wouldn't surprise me if these companies (Nicorette Gum, e-cigs) are owned by the tobacco companies!
Cold turkey is the only way and though it's not easy, it works best. Forget tapering and really, stop the excuses.
Stress is in EVERYONE'S life, you are not alone. It's important for you to understand how you/me/we made the connection. Why do we believe that a cigarette (leaf wrapped in paper, treated with about 4,000 chemicals) is going to have the POWER to calm us? Really think about the CONTROL we have given this 5" cylinder shaped thing!
Who's in charge? Put it down and begin fighting to take back control over your life. Don't make excuses for your relapses, just do it and if you should cheat, well that's on you and remember who you are cheating.....I have been on this board for over 3 years and I have seen thousands come and go, most have diagnosis of similar issues so know you aren't alone in your fight.
Just do it! Put them down and we are going to support you.
Read the articles at whyquit.com and try to find yourself in them...that's what worked for me. Keep a journal and post here whenever you feel an urge. Take a walk, deep breaths, exercise....whatever it takes to get you through the 3 days of physical w/d. Then you will have to deal with the emotional part, a lot tougher to be sure but if you truly understand the "WHY" you have linked smoking with stress relief, you will be successful in your quit.
Good Luck!
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285927_tn?1380802356
To get your motivation to quit back again, go to whyquit.com and read the stories of those who quit too late and read the testimonials and trials of those who, can support you every step of the way just like us here. You cannot dabble in the replacement stuff I dont think. I think it is all or nothin to be successful. I did the gum, the lozenges, patches, e cig, and yes even the meds. NOT!  I went into panic mode at the mere thought of never being able to smoke again and figured since I was getting nicotine anyways, just not smoking it, what difference did it make if I smoked or sucked. It made it too easy to rationale why smoking was no different then the replacement and the amount of stress and time that went to worrying about it all I think helped me fail.

Get educated, pick a date, get your mindset going and just thro them things away along with your ashtrays, put a no smoking sign in your car, and in your home and stay away from smokers for a couple of weeks. If you need something for anxiety, take it and dont look back and concentrate on these words. "Never take another puff", it takes a choice and an action on your part to fail. As long as you dont take another puff, you cannot fail.

My name is Linda, and I am a nicotine addict.
I have stopped nicotine for 29 days, 18 hours, 2 minutes and 53 seconds (29 days).

I've not smoked 1190 death sticks, and saved $268.10.
I've saved 4 days, 3 hours and 10 minutes of my life.
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Avatar_m_tn
About quitting.... there really is no sure fire method.  I went cold turkey.  I was going to quit tobacco and was going to beat my addiction of nicotine.  The last thing I wanted to do is become addicted to another delivery system for nicotine.

Cold turkey just worked for me.  Like both kathyjo and teko mentioned..... it is conscious effort, it takes work.  I made a plan and chose a quit date a month and a half in advance.  Every day on the way to work, I thought about the quit.... I imagined it... the withdrawls, being fidgety, irritated, angry..... and then it dawned on me.  I was mad at me!  I let me down!

The first 72 hours were what I was most scared of.  I didn't have too big of a problem.  The urges came unannounced and out of nowhere, but lasted less than a minute.  I told myself.... just like I was training a puppy... 'NO!  BAD!"  and it friggin worked... who'd have guessed it.

The deal is, you have to be committed 100% and it is for the whole quit.  You cannot let your guard down.  You need to be aware of all situations in which you smoked and be prepared with an alternative.  (I used gum, mints, and tooth picks)  I also began to exercise more and drink a heck of a lot more water.

I am not the authority on quitting.  In fact, it's only been 22 days.... but I know I am not going back.  I look at it as each second that passes is a second I am further away from the addiction.  Picture looking at a pack of smokes in the rear view mirror while going 60 m.p.h.  In a minute its gone, and every second you are further away.

You can do it.  Keep checking in here.  Journal.... vent.  Man, whatever it takes, but get on it.  
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654560_tn?1331858181
Thanks for all the wonderful experience you guys have shared with me.....I will go and read the suggested sites and set down a plan of action.
   Journaling would be good for me to vent the anger I feel toward my-self and the anger that the addiction has in my life............also the sorrow of letting go of my life long coping tool.
    Trying to visualize myself as a non smoker .....some days I can do it and others I fall to addiction, panic and go into "this is forever".....rather than keep it into today
    I associate smoking and a cup of cafa vienna, as a way to relax. My reward for having met my obligations......I associate it with relaxing.............For me that is the hardest, I use cigaretts as a reward.
   Here is where it gets interesting............I have 26 years clean in NA, no dope no alcohol. So surely you would think I could use the steps in getting clean off cigaretts.............Every time I cave.Bottom line I cave......................Does it really only take three days for the nicotine to be out of your system and the rest is behavior modification?.............
   OK...............so I am headed to the sites you guys suggested............and get busy, getting busy.
TY so much for sharing with me hope that I too can become a non smoker.......
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242912_tn?1402547092
Good luck, Freebird!!!  
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654560_tn?1331858181
So..................ok, I read and I'll be honest with you after about 30 minutes I really wanted to smoke... I understand a lot better about how the nerve endings in the brain cry for nicotine to feel normal............I also understand the grief process and the denial of " well that hasn't happened to me yet "...........I see where it is do-able.............And yet I still get caught up in the forever deal...............Surrender To Win.............Powerless over my addiction.............It really is that first drag off that first cigarette that keeps me addicted.
   I am gonna have to want this more than anything else and keep my addiction in front of me at all times.....because it really is that first one.............
.....When I got off the drugs and stuff I prayed a lot............To me this is no different., It is a mood altering durg that my brain craves to feel at normal capacity......................Wow, that is so sad to me to know what I have been feeding my brain all these years.............Poison............
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326505_tn?1304172825
We have all been there and without a doubt, it will be the hardest thing you may ever do, but you CAN do it!
As a smoker of 40 years, I always thought I would die with one in my mouth. Even when I was given an inhaler and believe me, there were times that I used it so I could have a cigarette!
Something has to happen to make you want it bad enough, that's how it happened with me. Maybe the COPD diagnosis, the fact that I got winded when climbing stairs, or walking quickly and the smell, my kids' clothing, mine, my house....not to mention the damage I did to them, my pets : (  Of course, when I smoked I didn't see all that, it was all in retrospect.
Truly, if you want it with all of your heart, you will do it. We are going to be here too. You can scream through your journal. We have all been where you are at now...standing on the precipice, just praying for the strength to take that leap of faith : )
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654560_tn?1331858181
So........ok today is March 3rd.........I was at a Womens Conference this weekend and again went all day without smoking....Got home spent a few minutes with my husband and then off I went to go smoke. Every drag I took off that cigarette made me pure disgusted at myself. I refused to reward myself with the Cafe Vienna (international brand coffee)....So I smoked 4 and came in the house.I am a hairdresser and my salon is at my home so I have a heated place to smoke.....NOT A GOOD THING.
Yesterday I had 4 cigaretts and was out. So I thought "don't buy any".........After church around 9;00 on the way home I had my husband to stop. So I got another pack...not so much for last night but for this morning.Again I just totally flipping cave..........
My husband knows my struggle.... we have an agreement that I not ask him to buy them for me anymore, because he really wants me to quit..........How unreasonable is it to set FRIDAY MARCH 4th. AS A QUIT DATE? I believe with my personality type thats the best  for me ....planning makes me crazy.............Planning gives me time to self sabotage.......through obsessive thinking.
So.........tomorrow I will not tell anyone except you guys.........IS MY QUIT DATE.....I'll try to check back tonight, when I get home from group.......Thanks for listening : )
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874521_tn?1375890587
morning FB.....just reading your post..Oh how I relate to all of it, this is so much ME....I can't even count all the times I've quit and caved within a few days..sometimes as long as a week before the impulse took control of me again...I had all the reasoning, like I'll buy a pack to keep hidden and just sneak the one 'occasionally' when I really couldn't stand it any longer etc etc....well as an addict, if there was a cigarette anywhere near me hidden or not, I HAD to have it.....
But like you with every cigarette the disgust grew, and its been growing for at least a year now...I hated it, the smell the taste to cost all of it. It got so bad that last fall I would lite a cig and after 2 puffs I'd have to butt it out,  but I would save that butt and continually relight it every hour or so when I needed another jolt of nicotine...one cigarette would last me a few hours that way and I'd get through a day smoking totally only 6-7....
Last Nov. my breathing was becoming alot worse and I had a final talk with  myself....its really all a matter of telling yourself to stop the nonsense and being determined, once the MIND has made a decision its easier...I still struggle and I'd be lying if I said I haven't had another cigarette b/c I have but with each time I would renew my conviction that this is no longer an option....
FB all I can say is good luck honey, we're with you, be STRONG and do this for yourself!!!
All the best for DAY # 1...♥
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654560_tn?1331858181
Yea opus88..........................113 days is awesome Today is day 1 of not smoking......so far I have kept my-self busy and this afternoon I'm picking up my youngest grand daughter for the weekend....Yea. I don't smoke around the kids so this will feel quite normal for me. Its when I take her home that I am gonna have to dig my heels in because my mind will be telling me " see how well you did ....now you can reward yourself by smoking UGGGGG"............
One hurdle at a time..............I'm not telling anyone about this except my husband. just because I don't want friends and family calling saying " How is it going"...
I will try to post every day for the support and the accountability factor.
If you are praying folks..............feel free to lift me up in serious prayer.I know I will be praying for the desire to smoke to be removed..........and praying for the willingness to do whatever is necessary to stay clean........................
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654560_tn?1331858181
I smoked on Saturday.......................Today is Wednesday and I haven't smoked. Having a headache on top of detoxing, from not drinking Cafe Vienna.........big trigger for a smoke.
Got my hair done today, I have a hair salon at the house so my God-Daughter came over and did my roots................My husband ordered me the P-90-X............. I figured if I was going to quit smoking.............then I was going to have a smoking - hot body.....lol.
       Not too bad today.................not great either. I feel kind of flat............Oh well more will be revealed
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654560_tn?1331858181
oooops..................wrong tracker
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874521_tn?1375890587
keep a going girl your doing great!!!

got my hair done today too a cut and a color which was a last minute decision, turning quite qrey and needed a pick me up...still look bloody old though!

it would take me alot more than P 90 X to look smoking hot.........good for you!! :-)
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242912_tn?1402547092
Freebird...congrats on day2!  You will be posting 1week before you know it. What is a P-90-X ?

Good job to you too, Opus!  It's getting a little easier, yes?  Not a lot, but a little?  Something magical about that 100day mark.  

Glad everyone is pleased with their hair!


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Avatar_f_tn
Thank you so much for your reply It has helped me.
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