I have been dating my significant other for about a year. I bought a house and his oldest boy (19) lives with us and we get his youngest (5) every other weekend.
Last night we found a picture the youngest drew of me.
In this picture it depicts me as dead with a gun shot wound to the chest. Blood and all in the picture.
He lies constantly and trys to manipulate his father and I against each other. He tells his dad right in front of me that I need to leave so his father and mother can get back together and get married. They never were married and they haven't been together since he was about 2. He tells his mom I am so mean and that I never let him play and that he hates me. I take him to the park, to the arcade, play games with him, play the wii, and watch movies with him. I do everything I can with him. I spoil him for the most part. We only get him every other weekend.
This picture disturbs me esspecially since when his mother first asked him about it. He said yes mommy. She needs to go away. I want you and daddy to get back together and get married and live together. Then turns around and says it was nothing. He said he drew that he pushes me and I fell down and got hurt. Then turns around and tell him mom it is nothing again. It is a picture of me as a zombie.
No. It is a picture of him wishing me harm and to be dead so his parents can get back together.
Now as far as the father goes. He constantly side with his boys. Both of them but the 5 year old the most.
I will tell him to turn the video games on and watch something educational with me and he looks right at me a starts screaming bloody murder for his father. His dad walks in and he starts crying and says I am being so mean. I won't let him play games. What does his dad do. Lets him continue to play video games. He dad doesn't back me up on anything really. So the kid has learned to just scream cry and get daddy.
I will tell him he can't have sweets, candy, cake until he eats all his dinner. He will refuse to eat and screams and cries to his dad until he gets what he wants.
So. No matter what I say or do he knows if he goes to his father that everything will be okay.
Now. I have talked to his dad and the boy was getting better until this last weekend. Not one thing I told him to do he did. He instead screams for his dad. Got what he wanted then draws a death picture of me and tells everyone I need to go away so his parents can get back together.
I blame partly his dad. But can you tell me what 5 year old draws a picture dipicting killing their step mom and why?
I think the kids is disturbed and now I am a little terrified of him doing something to me in my sleep. Which I had a horrible dream about the very night this happened. I think he needs counseling.
The father just thinks I am crazy and boys will be boys and I am making too big of a deal out of this. I do NOT think so. What do I do? The mom is horrified by his drawing and backs me up about counseling and even made an appointment for him this week. What do I do when the father is just blaming me and says I am just being emotional? I asked him if the tables were turned how he would feel and he just says nothing he doesn't feel like its a big deal. Really his kids wants me to die and drew a picture of HIM doing it.
Honestly, I would end that relationship now. I mean if he can't back you up now when his son is five when is he going to back you up? What if you guys get married? What if you have a baby how will his sons respond to that? I think the whole "boys will be boys" is a crock of poop. He is old enough to know better and there is no reason for him to behave like that. I am curious if their dad has always been like that even with his older son. I know you said you have tried to talk to him about his boys and that you and his ex agree the young one needs counseling. I would give the counseling a try for a little while but if things don't improve I would really consider leaving. What good is it to be in a relationshp with someone who doesn't value your opinion?
As it all turns out. The mother is behind all of this. She has been telling the 5 year old that I will be out of the picture soon and her and his daddy will get back together once I am gone. The father and I and her had a huge falling out yesterday about all of this. She left messages on his phone and text that he let me listen to and read. She assumes I will give my house to him and leave him if she continues to cause drama. Bad news for her. I bought my house on my own. Not with him. He will be the one to leave if our relationship ends not me. I am 29 years old. I never wanted kids. I do not have any and he doesn't want any more either. The mother is jealous of what we have and is causing problems. She is the one that has been telling us how the 5 year old feels and is putting things into his head so that is why he is acting the way he has been towards me. As it turns out she plays video games with him and tells him he is shooting at me. Needless to say. The father and I and the 5 year old will be doing couseling sessions on our own since the one she set up didn't include me. She how she is trying to mingle her way in. It will be an interesting year I am assuming. Thanks for responding. I was out of my mind. Now. I just can't wait to get at her. And the father is backing me up everyday now. Now that we know exactly what is going on. Thanks Again
As long as you have him backing you that is good but that is just so sad that a mother could mentally mess with her child's head out of jealousy.
Trust me I know this friend who was going through court because one of the mothers of his kids was still in love with him 15 yrs later and still wont let him be happy. She lied to the courts and it took a long time and at times I though my friends husband was going to lose because this lady was so manipulative and there was a different judge every time. However in the end she lost but that was hell to go through.
I can't imagine seeing a picture that a child drew pretty much depicting my death. That is disturbing if anything but sad at the same time.
I feel for you and I have been in a similar situation being with someone with a child in which she loved him still and caused problems. I vowed never to get involved with anyone that has kids or has baggage like the way his was. It is so stressful and not worth it. That is just me of course.
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