Adult children

My adult step children blame their dad for not being there for them and are jealous of my children for being raised by him. I get told give me time with them. His oldest daughter now 40 still has alot of hate toward me for what she said "taking him away from them". I didn't even know there dad when he left their mom. But I am being blamed for it. His youngest daughter is now 27 and just started after he dad went to the hospital for a possible heart attack that I called them and told them he was was in the hospital that she started coming around. But she said she still does not trust him. I don't understand. I even told my husbans if these where not your children but other adults whould you treat them with kid gloves and let them continue blaming you for past of the past. He said no but they are differant and He needs time for them to trust him. I don't understand. Its not like we had a perfect marraige and everything was roses. We have been together for since about 1988. All the kids are grown and my children said If they ever treated their step dad like this they know they would get an ear ful as an adult not as a child with kid gloves.

[Londres70]

You have been together since 1988 and his children are still having a rough time?  Geez.  

Well....this is your husband's issue for sure.  He needs to be setting boundaries with his children, i.e. what he will and will not accept in regards to their behavior, etc.

Sounds like these stepchildren are pulling the "emotional blackmail" card and it is up to your husband to sort this out and shut this down.  

Do give him the time and let him take care of this.  

As for you, I would recommend you disengage yourself from the situation for you own sanity.