Ok, so I have 2 stepsons. One is 15 and the other 12. They want to stay with their father and I, and I don't mind. They are a joy to be with, always looking out for me, and even calling me their "Mom".
Thing is, we are expecting a baby next month, 13th to be precise but everyone reckons it would be earlier, 2 weeks earlier. The first son' birthday is the 31st of October, which is when they say the baby will come. They are excited, we are all excited. It would be nice to have the baby on the birthday of "Martin" I don't mind that.
DH mentioned it several times, if the baby is a girl (we don't know what we are having, very shy baby) they all want the baby to be a girl, if she is, we'll call her "Martina" I am uncomfortable with this. I don't want her walking in her brother shadow for the rest of her life. I haven't talked to him about this, and I'm also uncomfortable that if it's a boy, he won't be welcomed as much as if it were a girl. I'm going out of my mind. Any advice on how to approach this issue please??
Well, I'm all for honesty between a couple and I see no reason not to get your husband alone with no distractions and say, "Honey I'd like to talk to you about some more ideas for baby names." Then state your case about not wanting her (if it's a girl) to walk in her brother's shadow. Not to mention, do you even LIKE the name Martina? If you do..I can see fraternal boy/girl twins being called Martin and Martina but I personally think it's a bit odd to call a younger sister by virtually the same name as her older brother. And why would you agree to something that you are uncomfortable with in the first place?
I really think that at this point in your relationship you and your husband should be able to talk openly about the names you both LIKE for the impending arrival. You could also comment that you don't think it's fair to the other brother if that makes it easier for you but honestly I don't get it why you just can't be completely open with your husband and say, "I'm just not comfortable with it, I'd rather the baby have his or her own unique name."
About whether or not the baby will be welcomed as much if it's a boy...I think as soon as that baby comes along it will be adored by everyone, regardless of the gender. That just kind of happens. I wouldn't even spend time worrying about that.
Oh, and for what it's worth, my younger son was born on November 13th so if you happen to give birth on your due date, you could always call the baby Zackarina if it's a girl. JUST KIDDING !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Seriously, just take a deep breath and be honest with your husband. If your relationship is solid, things should work out okay.
Good luck and my best wishes are with you for an easy birth.
Thanks.. I didn't think about the name thing at first, i was very excited, am very excited about the baby. We've been ttc for years and years. But it suddenly struck me, like hang on, what am I doing? I'll talk to my hubby. I just wanted to get another opinion on it.
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