I am a mom to 4 kids ages 3-10, one boy 3 girls. My husband who was step father to my oldest 2, and I started dating when I was 2 months pregnant with my oldest daughter and my son was 18 months old. Their dad was hardly in the picture and ended up leaving the country to avoid cs. I had 2 daughters with him but unfortunately my youngest (3) never got to meet her father as he was killed in a car accident 3 years ago, 5 days before she was born 7 weeks early. He always treated my oldest 2 like they were his own and a lot of people didn't know any different. My dilemma is this, i completely fell apart after he died. A long time friend moved into my parents house where I was living at the time about 4 months after my husband died, we began dating about 2 months after that (6 months after accident) and have lived together since. Next month will be our 3 year anniversary and my kids adore hhim. My son is kinda partial likes him but is waiting for him to vanish, my 8yo and 6yo daughters love him and call him dad and daddy and the 3yo of course. My bf gets along with my son, my 6yo, and my 3yo he considers her to be his, but he acts like he hates my 8yo and it crushes her. She has adhd and is not on meds I tried it for a while and didn't make any difference so took her off. I don't know what to do? I am constantly fighting with him over her and sometimes I feel like he hates me for it, and will ask both my 8 and 6yo "are you dumb or just stupid?!" And I can't seem to get him to get they're just kids and you can't say things like that to a child. He had a very rough upbringing and I feel like sometimes I have to regulate him with my daughter. What do I do how can I get him to just get it? I'm pregnant with his baby and honestly scaredto death its gonna get worse. Oh and we're both 29 if that helps to know any.
What a mess. I wish you weren't pregnant, because you are pretty much cemented in if so. I wish you had had more time between men.
Go to counseling together, start now. No time like the present, you have to work out the stress the kids are putting on you as a couple, and why you are together (convenience? It doesn't sound like you are saying he is the love of your life.)
Talk to your child's doctor about why the ADHD meds might not have been working, and try others, and different doses, until you hit on the right combo.
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