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How do you co-parent when you don't get a long with the birth moth...
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How do you co-parent when you don't get a long with the birth mother??

I have been with my husband since my step daughter was 18 months old....she is now 5. You would think by this time her mother would be used to me but all she does is cause drama and create problems. She goes WAY to far sometimes too. For example she accused my 7 yr old son (he was 5 at the time and she was 2) of "touching" her inappropriately. I know this was not true bc A) they are highly supervised & B) the date she said it happened my children were not home. I have done everything for my step daughter. In fact I don't even like saying step bc that isn't how I feel about her. I love her like she was my own. I have tried talking to her mom about the situation. My husband has tried. But NOTHING works! She doesn't include me when it comes to her bc I'm not her "parent" but includes her husband even though he too is a step parent. I don't think it is that she wants my husband back. She left him. Cheated on him from the time my step daughter was 5 months old and divorced him for the man she is married to now. I just want things to be calm and get better. All of the stuff she does and the drama she creates is not healthy for my step daughter. I just know if we could get a long or at least coexist things would be so much better for my step daughter in the long run. I'm not going to lie....I have taken my digs at her too. But I just get SO mad and SO fed up! She accuses my babies of doing HORRIBLE things, makes my husband out to be a horrible dad ( he isn't) and has even accused me of beating my step daughter, accused me of being on drugs (bc I'm thin...it's natural) etc. PLEASE help!!! Any advice is appreciated. I'm at my breaking point. My husband and I want to have a baby (she doesn't know this) but we both know the stress would be horrible on me & most importantly the baby.
3136223_tn?1367964316
I'm in the same boat. My soon to be stepson is almost 3 and I've been in his life since he was 18 months old. I love my fiances son like he was my own and I always refer to him as "my son." My fiances ex is, for lack of a better word, evil. She would have her son call me names, hit me or say he doesn't have to listen to me cause I'm not his "real mommy." Does your husbands ex do that? She actually tried to physically FIGHT me because her son called me mommy and refused for her to pick him up.

Maybe she's just jealous that your husband is happier with you? As for the not inviting you or including you is probably her way of making you mad/upset, which in extremely low and childish.

Basically what I did was ignore her. She stopped with the manipulating her son. She sees that I'm not that to "take her place." There's really nothing you "can do." I know nothing works, but maybe show her that you ddo fun things with your stepdaughter and not trying to "take her place" and everything you do is for the safety, welfare and happiness of the child. And you all need to at least "act" like you get along for the sake of her. She'll grow up thinking it's okay to make up lies about people.

I know this probably isn't what you wanted/needed but you're not alone in the "ex drama" thing. If you want to talk at all, feel free to message me =]
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