How do you teach teens to be considerate of others?
**I posted this already in another forum so it might look familiar. Just thought I might get a different perspective here.**
I have a 15 y/o SD who is becoming more and more selfish lately. She lives with her mother, who not only condones this behavior but darn near encourages it. Her grandmother has money and buys her whatever she wants (including promising to buy her a brnad new car when she turns 16 in Dec). Recently she has decided that she only wants to visit us when it's convenient for her. Her words were "I just want to come out when I want to and leave when I want to." She has two younger sisters at our house that miss her dearly and cry when she decides she doesn't want to visit. Her father pays child support and has visitation rights which are not being met. Not only, that...she decides at the last minute regardless of our feelings, plans, etc. that she would rather hang out with her friends than spend time with us. The only recourse we have is to file a report with the sheriff's dept (just to have record of the incident). We cannot force her to spend time with us and her mother refuses to enforce the visitation.
Her father and I (along with her little sisters, 11 and 4) are very hurt and confused by all of this. There have been times where her father and I argue when she is visiting and things have gotten very heated in the past, but we always work things out and let the kids know that we are coming to a compromise, making up, etc. On the other hand, her mother has been married and divorced three times now, has children with 3 different men, and the second she doesn't get her way on something, she leaves and makes up false and malicious lies about her exes and gets the kids involved in all the drama. Therefore, I cannot understand why she would rather be with her mother all the time and treats us like dirt.
My neighbor keeps telling me that's jut how teenagers are and I should just let it go. I disagree and think that a big part of parenting is to teach your children to have respect and consideration for others. Does anyone have any advice on how to curb this behavior and let her know how she is making people feel without pushing her further away? .
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