Step Parenting Community
I'm not coping
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I'm not coping

I have been with my BF for 12 years.It is a long time to be with someone without moving in I know, but truthfully I don't know if I could live with him and his son aged 12.
Me and his son get on to an extent and even call each other stepmum and stepson.We have bike rides and talks.
I am struggling with guilt and frustration and exhaustion.I also have clinical depression and have increased my meds.
BF used to have his son every other weekend and a Wednesday. His son had frequent night terrors almost every time he stayed and BF would get up to him or sometimes me.
BF has now been having his son every weekend for years and has insisted I am with them every weekend.My BF is a manager in a pub with the accomodation upstairs and he works in the pub time he has his son who stays there.So from an early age I have been left with his son.He also has his son bank holidays and a lot over the summer holidays and expects me to be there lots.
BF complains or threatens to leave me if I want to go out at all with friends when his son is there.He says he does not expect me to look after his son and his son 'gets on by himself'.He does more so as he is older but this has not always been the case.
His son is argumentative about everything even to BF and even BF has shown frustration.BF sets few if any consequences for his son's behaviour.I am allowed to tell him off but there are no consequences.They both also don't get tired and stay up until sometimes 1 a.m or more watching TV and I have even had to sleep in BF's room with the TV blaring.
Now he wants me to go on holiday with them abroad and I am nervous.
I also feel like I could be having children of my own or some more freedom. I am feeling at the end of my tether.
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Do you want to have children with this man and are you happy in the relationship in general?  If the answer is no to either or both of these questions then you might need to think about moving on.

You have been together for a very long time.  If you are serious about him then in some ways there should be that expection that you are there for your stepson if your partner is working.  But if you are miserable in the relationship and you have no feelings for your partner and you resent him then you probably are only a baby sitter for him.
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