My 10 year old son loves his new Stepdad but his behaviour really makes his SD angry at times. I worry this is never going to be resolved and will only get worse if we can't get some help. Problems with my son's behaviour include:
moaning and grumbling about anything he doesn't want to do
trying to debate anything and everything
delays at bed time
interrupting adult conversation
In between all this negative behaviour are a lot of good things too. He is working hard in school, adapting to a new routine quite well, although the grumbles will come. I often choose to ignore the grumbles, but other times I tell him off immediately and warn him if his complaints continue he will lose XBox time for instance. My husband thinks I am too soft on my son, particularly after apologies have been made...I forgive and forget and move on. The behaviour sparks again later. He doesn't seem to appreciate what he has, and is always wanting the next best thing, another packet of pringles, go to the cinema etc...then when it happens he is still sulky and argumentative. My husband expects to see him more grateful and appreciative. Instead my husband sees my son with an attitude that "nothing is ever good enough!".
My son will be cuddling up to his stepdad one minute then soon after go too far being silly. He will be told "that's enough now stop it" and my son's reaction is almost like a toddler tantrum, crying, stamping feet as he leaves the room, back chatting etc. Then my husband says things like "that's it, I'm not doing anything else for him now because he doesn't appreciate it..nothing is ever good enough....." and there is tension again. My husband is working away Mon-Fri for several weeks, and he dreads coming home for the weekend because of how my son may behave. My 4year old daughter has started to mimmick some of his expressions and reactions too which is making things worse. When my daughter acts up my son is blamed for setting a bad example.
Is there any way out of this cycle? We have only lived in the same house for 6 months now.
Thank you for any suggestions!!
Copyright 1994-2016 MedHelp International. All rights reserved.
MedHelp is a division of Aptus Health.
This site complies with the HONcode standard for trustworthy health information.
The Content on this Site is presented in a summary fashion, and is intended to be used for educational and entertainment purposes only. It is not intended to be and should not be interpreted as medical advice or a diagnosis of any health or fitness problem, condition or disease; or a recommendation for a specific test, doctor, care provider, procedure, treatment plan, product, or course of action. Med Help International, Inc. is not a medical or healthcare provider and your use of this Site does not create a doctor / patient relationship. We disclaim all responsibility for the professional qualifications and licensing of, and services provided by, any physician or other health providers posting on or otherwise referred to on this Site and/or any Third Party Site. Never disregard the medical advice of your physician or health professional, or delay in seeking such advice, because of something you read on this Site. We offer this Site AS IS and without any warranties. By using this Site you agree to the following Terms and Conditions. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your physician or 911 immediately.