I'm engaged to a wonderful man. He has a 2 year old from a previous relationship. I love his son like my own. His biological mother doesn't see him (maybe for a weekend every 6 months). She's not even a year older than me (she was born in Dec. 1989 & I'm Feb. 1990). My fiance is 28. At the beginning of the year she found out about me. And got extremely mad that her son has started calling me "mom-mom." So she took him for 2 weeks. When she dropped him back off she was even more upset because apparently the whole time he was screaming and crying saying he "wanted mom-mom" and when she tried telling him that she's his mom he said " NO I WANT KAYLA MOM-MOM." So naturally, she hates me. I've tried telling her that I'm not trying to take her place in his life but she didn't want to hear it. How do I fix this? It's so hard.
Why do you feel obliged to try to fix it? Do you think she is going to press for legal custody? Your advent in your fiance's life is a situation that she has to get over, and she might sooner or later. But if she has abdicated custody of the child for two years she is going to have a tough time getting custody.
ps -- If you think there is any chance his ex is going to sue for custody of the child, I would move the wedding up to sometime soon. A married couple does much better in front of a judge, in custody matters.
I don't think she will, she's quite content living the "part time mother" job, as she puts it. But he deserves to at least see her more. I don't want to take her place... I'm actually going to talk to my fiance about adopting Brandyn when we get married since his ex doesn't treat him like a son... he's more of an accessory when she has him. It's frustrating.
"I've tried telling her that I'm not trying to take her place in his life but she didn't want to hear it. How do I fix this? It's so hard.".......Dear, don't bother with the ex and let your soon to be hubby deal with her. I wouldn't try explaining anything to her. It would probably be like talking to a brick wall......NOTHING penetrating.
As far as I'm concerned, you've been more of a mother to the child than she has and I am certain she realizes this/knows this and that would explain the hostility and all this other nonsense.
PM me anytime hon.........I am a STEPMOTHER myself.
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