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The Mother OUT ALL THE TIME
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The Mother OUT ALL THE TIME

I read a little something that said "kids thrive stability" and clearly I really don't think the mother of my step-daughter is keeping stability.

I am wondering if this is something good to bring into court or not.

The Mother has her own 2 bedroom apartment, as she has 2 girls and the one who is 3 is my spouses daughter.

Ever since the second week of March her mom has not been at home.
First she was at her Grandma's then went straight to her mom, and when my spouse was making arrangements to bring there daughter back she wasn't home and then later in the evening past her bed time, her friend came and picked her up to have a sleep over at there house.

Usually when she isn't home she turns her phone off and it goes straight to the answer machine, my spouse called her today and it did just that, so he is assuming she has yet to be home.

Isn't that a little too much for her kids? It seems that she has been out a lot before, because it always seems like she is anyways, but don't you think it is getting out of hand?
Yes I know it is at her families most times (I think), but still going here then going there, whether it is or not.

She writes on the court papers she is thriving, but didn't specifically say what she was thriving about..........and to me that is just it.

My spouses daughter is a very picky eater, has been for a while, and I feel like going to different places all the time is one of the reasons why she is being such a picky eater............

Its always stable here. Sure we go out with her, but most of the time to our families and just for the day, left that morning or afternoon and back that evening.
Theirs been a total of maybe 3 occasions we went for a sleep over and only for the weekend all with family, since I have been apart of her life (almost 2 years now)

What are your thoughts?
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3 Comments Post a Comment
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145992_tn?1341348674
She's 3, so basically picky eating is normal.  It's not great parenting when she is out all the time but I'm confused.  Is she out without her daughter or she's out with her daughter?  Yes, children need stability but they also need the spontaneity to keep them interested.  You can't keep a child inside the house all day long.  They get bored.  So taking them out during the day is better.  It really though does depend on where she is taking her.  Consistency matters when it comes to discipline, nap times and bed times.  But it really doesn't mean she has to sit at home all day long.  
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334776_tn?1249972181
if you mean that even though the mom and daughter have a home of their own, yet are always staying at other people's homes, then no that is not stability...however, a judge is probably going to say that she's with mom...unless drugs/alcohol are involved...my SD is in custody of her mother, yet mommy lives in another town with her boyfriend(and is pregnant), and my SD lives with her grandparents...we've tried a legal battle, to at least get the child support payments to be registered to gramma and granpa, but state said NO! even after the grandparents FINALLY came forward and told courts THEY support my SD, and mommy pockets child support to "support herself and her impending child", the court said no matter, the money goes to mom.....and that in and of itself is wrong on many levels...and also breaks their custody agreement on many levels...

some children that young are picky eaters, b/c all they eat are tv dinners,fast food, and hamburger helper(assuming you pay childsupport, you'd like to HOPE she eats better)....my stepson is 5, and he isn't picky at all, yet we know for a fact 90% of his meals are eaten out of a bag in mommys backseat(which she's told us, b/c they're just "soooo busy")...our house is literally the ONLY place he eats "real" meals, aside from holidays, when he's at his moms house.....
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303824_tn?1294875001
You just described everything that my stepson's mother used to do before we got custody of him. That was one of the reasons, she was completely unstable (and still is). We would pick up my stepson every other weekend, and when we would go to drop him off at 6 pm, the court ordered time, his mother would be nowhere to be found. She wouldn't show up sometimes until 10 or 11 pm! She ALWAYS left him with other people, and moved about every 6 months. Even though we have custody of him, she is still that way. She comes to pick him up every other weekend and is supposed to have him home at 6 pm, but she shows up whenever she feels like it. She completely disregards other people's valuable time and has never cared about anyone other than herself.

Point of my story is I can so totally relate!! My stepson shows signs of behavioral and learning problems. He has demonstrated some pretty scary behavior toward my other kids. He has no regard for anyone else's feelings and never shows/says he's sorry for anything he does. I don't know if all this has anything to do with his mother's instability or not, but I do know that it hasn't helped any.
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