i have been seeing my grilfriend for a year now she has an 11 y/o girl she sees her dad every other weekend i love my girlfriend well i try to play with her and be her friend and even be silly at times One day i was helping my grilfrend move and the little girl was there my grilfrend was talking to the land lady and after that all three of us were walking together back to her old place which is two houses away and the little girl keeped using the small cart that i was using to take boxes to her new house and puting it in front of my feet as i was walking and i asked her to stop then she did it again and again three times in all so i took it away from her hand. the little girl got upset and started crying then her mother look at me and said that if that was her nephew i would have treated it different i told her no that her daughter keeped trying to make me trip and that she didnt stop her daughter went to her room and keeped crying after a little bit i asked if i could talk to her and her mother told me that she did not want to talk to me i keep trying to say something nice to her daughter but i get shot down every time i dont know what to do help
At 11, it's a little excessive that the little girl cried so hard, but maybe she was embarrassed and felt put down, or maybe she was just feeling like her mom had not protected her from mean old you. It sounds like your girlfriend is more invested in her daughter than she is in you, which unfortunately for you is what a parent should be.
A friend of mine tells all his new girlfriends that his priorities in life are his sons first, his job second (he has a pretty important job), and then them. This is sad for them, and he burns them out at a rate of about one every two or three years, but at least he's up front about it.
If the two of you were married, you would not be out of line to tell your wife that your children together were the most important thing in the world to you, though she might raise her eyebrow a little at the implications of herself being second-best.
Anyway, how to mend the fences with her? Send the child a card saying you are sorry that you were brusque with her about the cart, and that you didn't mean to hurt her feelings. Send the mom a note the next day, saying she's a good mom and you are always open to her suggestions about the proper way to handle it when you and the daughter are at cross-purposes; (i.e., does she want you to talk to the girl, talk to the mom, or what)? And be open to applying what she tells you.
Then don't mention the topic again, don't "try to say something nice," just apply the advice from the mom.
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