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my husband and I fight over our step-children constantly
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my husband and I fight over our step-children constantly

My husband and I have been married for 15 years and together for 17 years. We have three children together. His son 18 from his first marriage, my daughter 17 from a previous relationship, and our son who is 14. The financial burden has always fallen on us for our step-children. His ex wife never grew up or became financially independent.  My husbands pays child support but since his ex chooses not to work then the child support goes somewhere...who really knows where..his child comes to us asking for money for everything from gas, to clothes, to spending $$a for going out. I get very annoyed because it's not just that he needs something it's because he wants the most expensive things...for example if it isn't name brand or cost a fortune he won't wear it. My husband has always allowed this for years on end and feels guilty if his son doesn't get what he wants. I am not allowed to say anything about it because he becomes so defensive. It doesn't stop there though because there is a different standard when it comes to my daughter. She has a job and has to pay for things for herself unless I pay for it. My daughter and our youngest son never had the things his son had and we never pretended to have the money for it except for his son. To further exacerbate matters my children have often gone without because of the situation with his son. I should also mention that I don't often feel resentment towards me husband and his son. For one I recognize that the situation isn't fair. I have worked hard, putting in 60hrs a week at work, going back to school, and working my way up the corporate ladder while my husband was content with making peanuts on the dollar. Is it wrong for me to feel so used..???


2 Comments Post a Comment
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134578_tn?1404951303
See a counselor or therapist.  This sounds almost gothic.  
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Avatar_f_tn
Above comment 100% the way forward. I think you need wings and a halo!You are being used. I would put all my money in a separate account and have as little cash around the place as possible. If your husband is trying to show his son that Daddy can provide, then let him, with his own money. This cannot carry on. The boy is 18 but has no work ethic, learned from his Mum, and, it seems, no idea of the hard work it takes, and the budgeting, to live a decent life. He is old enough to fight for his Country and to get married. What then? His father should be having this conversation with him and you both should stand firm. This is unfair to you and the other kids. If this carries on they might start to feel resentful.  It's vital that changes are made. You've started by coming on here. We're all here for you so be brave, lovely lady. You deserve some peace too.x
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