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I just need some reassurance
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I just need some reassurance

I am feeling so stressed due to what has happened the last 3 years.  I will try to sum this up ad hope someone can give me some words of encouragement.  About 3 years ago I was stuck with a needle artwork and subsequently acquired Hep C and HIV.  Then just about 2 months after being diagnosed I developed viral encephalitis, and a very bad case of shingles.

I was unable to walk due to the nerve damage to my spine from some virus attacking my spine.  I have done well on the HIV meeds with minimal side affect.  Have to wait for a new drug to come out for a treatment for the Hep C.  I had minimal use of my leg and worked very hard at physical therapy to the point I am now able to walk short distance with just a cane.

I had to stop work and due to memory problems and my inconsistent ability to remember things i will most likely not return to work.

My current issue is I know the Bible says to give thanks in all circumstances.  I try very hard to do so.  When in the hospital I had 5 days of no memory of what happened.  That is really hard for me to accept.  I know of support groups but my husband does not want me to attend.  He feels I should have enough support between him and my family that i should not have to go to a HIV support group.

I do not feel really depressed although it has taken very little for me to start crying.  I resent having to take meeds al the time and I hate the fear of not knowing if the meeds will work forever.  

I am very lucky to have a husband and family that doews care and tries to give me all the support I need.  

Please if there is anyone out there that can relate to the drag of taking meds, living with a potentially deadly decease,
and the difficulty of dealing with memory loss, physical limitations and just plain miserable I would appreciate hearing from ou.  Anyone believing in praise [lease say them.
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Avatar_f_tn
Hey there!
You have certainly been through A LOT! I'd imagine that it is hard to be thankful when you're feeling so miserable. The Bible also says that Jesus promises trial and tribulation and having faith in The Lord is all about trusting that He has your life under control at all times, good and bad. Giving thanks to Him doesn't neccessarily mean you have to be thankful for your situation, per se, but that you are thankful to Him for holding you while you go through it. Remember the story of Job and the many tests of faith God made him endure? His faith was steadfast and he was rewarded, just as yours will be. As far as what your husband thinks about your need for support: you do what YOU need to do. YOU are the one going through this horrific pain, not him. Yes, he may be supportive as can be, but if you need guidance and support from others who know what you're feeling and going through, don;t worry about what anyone else says. You have to take care of you.
I'm so sorry for all of your pain. You're in my thoughts and prayers.
Katy
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NEVER GIVE UP those are the most important words you need to remember NEVER GIVE UP. my grandfather is slowly dieing and he has been in and out of the hospital even flew to the phillipines to see on of the top doctors in the world he barly eats is very thin and loses alot of blood and the drs dont know where its going but he NEVER GIVES UP he does his best to smile and be as active as his condition will let him be i hope this helps you feel at least a small ray of hope good luck hunny
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Avatar_f_tn
Hello My Friend
I can not say I know how you feel, because I don't. I was diagnosed with Ms in 2006.
Since then my life has been a struggle. I can say you are blessed more than you know.
You have LIFE and a loving husband who cares. I live alone, I do everything by myself.
I have blurred vision, left side weakness, and paralysis. I walk with a cane, stumble and fall.
Supports groups do help. They help you to vent and the group can relate to your situation.
People ask my me how do you stay so positive, I reply That is all that I have left. Please get you some support, because you will stay depressed and thats not good. I don't know you, but I am here for you when you need me. Prayer changes things. I'm a living witness. I can go on and on and on. There will be days when you think that you can't take any more. Do something that you really like. I am loosing my voice, but I will continue to sing. Hang in there.(Friend) Juliet
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