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So completely stressed beyond my boundaries, I need some help.
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So completely stressed beyond my boundaries, I need some help.

I had absolutely no clue what 'topic' to put this under...  It would be nice if they had an 'all of the above' category

I have so much going on mentally, physically, emotionally and otherwise that I just cannot find a way to relax at all.  My father just died a week ago.  I was his caretaker this past year.  My ex-boyfriend has been harrassing me since April of last year, not just harrassing, but stalking and there's not a damn thing I can do about it.  I just came to the realization Thursday that I'm an alcoholic.  My doctor thinks I have liver disease related to my six years of heavy drinking.  Since my Dad's passing last week I have pushed more people out of my life without really realizing till now,  and I feel so completely alone....  I can't even possibly list everything going on in my life right now,  nor could I list the details... but you get the point.

If you had that many big life stressors hanging over you,  what would you do to relax?  Drinking is out of the question though,  because I'm wanting to quit as soon as I can talk to my doctor and tell him I need help with the physical part of my drinking.

Sorry for ranting.  

What would you do to relax?
Tags: stressed, help
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11 Comments Post a Comment
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Avatar_n_tn
Hi, when I feel that everything is getting too much I go to my favourite place, growing up was great as my father was a fisherman, so now when I'm really down I go to the river where he used to fish, all of a sudden the weight is lifted and I feel all tranquil.

But then again I've just posted asking if my problem is stress related.

Good luck.
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787660_tn?1254973618
Hi,
I have a hard time relaxing as well.. have for many years. I try to go 4 a peaceful walk, or go online and chat with a stranger(dont give your private information out) just talk about whatever, Listen to music and take a long soothing bath. Buy yourself a massage or do something you've been wanting to do but haven't because of your responsibilities. I don't know what type of person you are, so I'm trying to throw a lot out there 4 you. I try not to drink or take pain pills. I'd say a good Marijuana brownie but you dont want to do something you're not fond of. If you can: essential oils, incense, candles, fresh flowers, cook, drive, or work out. TAKE A VACATION. VACATE your mind, and try breathing exercises...

Blessed Be** /hugs
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Avatar_f_tn
I'm so sorry I understand.My Mom passed in August.I had a near fatal asthma attack,so I was told.Its been 8 months,my Mom passed of complications due to Ovarian Cancer.The hardest thing is realizing she's not coming back,she was 49.You need to find something to live for,you. God needed your father.I haven't exactly been an angel lately eathier.I have a son who I must get better for.You need to find a purpose,a reason to live and love again.I 'm feeling a bit better so will you,just pray,it's all we've got and hope.God Bless,Jen
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Avatar_n_tn
It's hard the tell someone esle what to do when so much has happened to them.  I would say that with the 41 year old stalker-don't go back to him, it sounds like it's a mess, and be careful-scare him with cops-he has no right to harras you.  If you were a caregiver to your dad for over a year, it seems like you have nobody to take care off.  Maybe you should voluentir and help others, maybe that would make you feel better.   Get busy with something you always wanted to do, but never had time due to your schedule before-it should bring you some healing and satisfaction.  Time is the healer and there is much more in life for you so don't kill your liver with drinking (I know it feels good, I do the same when I am down), but then the next day comes and I know that I have to take care of myself (your liver will get better once you stop drinking for a longer time).  Also look at  others, they are also in pain, sometimes even worse than you.  That's what I do and then my problems are not so bad.  Keep your head up and go!  I am sure that's what your father would want you to do.
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Avatar_f_tn
do some breathing exercises yoga or you could go to a phychiatrist who could give you alot of helful tips on how to relax. Ive been dealing with alot of stress also which has now turned into anxiety and im  a total wreck so ik how u feel. Stress balls can help too!!! Relax every muscle in ur body. If your shoulders are tensed or your head neck, jaw, throat etc just relax them. Go to the spa get a massage or just do something for yourself it will do wonders!!
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Avatar_n_tn
I am very sorry to hear about your your stress.  There are simple things you can do to make yourself feel less stressed and more calm.  Deep breathing, exercising and finding a hobby you enjoy are all great things.  Doing something you enjoy really gets your mind off what is bothering you.  I like to use the tips at http://www.your-stressed-life.com/stress-reduction.html to deal with my problems.  Good luck with your stress.
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Avatar_f_tn
I find Tai Chi relaxing. You have to concentrate on the movement, and completely forget your worries. Maybe a counceller can help, someone to talk to. It feels better to let your feelings out, and have supportive comments. Keep your friends close, they can make your feel needed, and someone to hang out with.

I find the best thing is positive thinking. You should get a book out from the library about it. Turning negative thought around can make you feel better.

Not sure if you are religious. If your not, I don't like to force people into the religion. The church is very supportive. I find that they will pray for anything, and are always willing to listen without judgment. I joined a baptist church. From the moment I walked it, everyone welcomed me in as if I knew them already, very caring. I watch the Hour of Power on the internet. They have inspirational messages.
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Avatar_f_tn
There is no single way to get rid of stress. First of all you should get some counseling and help. Try making more friends or get support from the people undergoing similar situations. Exercise helps a lot, join some health club and make friends there. Finally when you are settled and out of the current situation and not feeling depressed and stressed, try meditation. You can get high quality free guided meditation at site like http://www.clicktomeditate.com you can even try the FAQ section and medical research etc. at http://www.clicktomeditate.com/faq.html
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913439_tn?1243380082
Hi i say the same  i ll say no way you can get out of stress, let me tell you. I came from a different country when i was 17 (now im 35) my mum before i left was drinking, 20 years past she was not able to get out of her habbit and in the end she past away 3 years ago. I lost the most beutifull loving peson, she had a ruff life, with every man she met , was bitting the hell out of her, and that put her self a steem down so she never got of drinking.I followd her step with the bad marrige where he was drinking and bitting me up, i left and followd drinking for few month (never drenk in my life before then), divorst, got depresst, got out of it ,but now all this is catching up with me as i have a anxity with pannick att. but will get out of it to i know i will. We all have stranth,you have to. You can do it you dont need drink to controll you life, you have to know that, BELIVE THAT and you ll be fine. it will be hard but its better than  all the sicness in the worl> Just remember now you know the problem you can get out of it.
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Avatar_m_tn
For panic attacks put .50 alprazolam pill under your tongue so it gets into your blood quicker. I'm 80 and I know what I'm talking about.
Bless you for being a strong girl
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Avatar_f_tn
by mjgb6
Hi  I am new to this and I would like to give it ago.  I hope this will help.  You have received a lot of good suggestions.  I have been through so many stresses in my life and am still going.  I try not to let it get to me.  I believe in God and have been born again.  I let go of my problems by praying and tell God, I am giving it all to him to handle it.  Its amazing, he does handle my problems and stresses.  I feel more relief and peaceful having faith that he will take care of it.  I'm not sure how much education or experience you have in that area.  I would be happy to speak to you about it or by communicating this way.  As far as the boyfriend, I would tell him that you are getting a restraining order against him.  See if he backs off.  If he doesn't then get one so he can't contact you or come anywhere near you.  You will have control back in that situation.  You just report him to the police if he does anything.
I lost my mom when I was 17 it was a brutal death and a total shock.  I lost my dad  4 years later.  She was 46 and he was 54.  He was my best friend.  I still cry now and then and visit their gravesides.  I know that will never change,  but it helps me heal.    Take a trip somewhere to get your mind off of everything and enjoy the moments.  Think back, before all of the stress got in your way, to who you were before.  Remember how strong you were, how you handled things, how you felt inside.  Think about your personality.  Start becoming that person that you were before.  Think about the friends you had and how much  fun you had with them.  Try to contact those friends and get together with them.  What kind of things did you like to do that made you happy.  Try to do those things again.  There are several ways to calm down and relieve the stress.  Everyday, write/journal in a book about your life and what happened that day and how you felt about it.  Write a paper about yourself and all of your achievements/accomplishments since you were born until now.  You can add to this every time you achieve something.  When you are done, put it away where you can find it when you need to.  Take it out and read it when you need to or in a week or two and so on.  This will make you stronger.  For instance, I had two babies named after me because I was very well liked or something I did made the mother/parents want to name their child after me.  Or the awards that I won.  The education I achieved.  What positions I held, etc.      Another one is sit or stand and close your eyes. Try to relax.   Have someone talk you through this exercise.  Tell the person to give it about a minute before asking the next question or telling you what to do.  Have that person ask you to imagine a place you like to be.  What are you doing?  You think about what you are doing...walking, gazing etc. what are you doing now in this place you are at?  Imagine walking up and meeting a person that you love and has been very important in your life.  When you meet this person, put your arms around this person and tell that person everything that you want to say to him/her. After that,  have the person tell you to open your eyes.     How do you feel?
If you do these things, please let me know how everything went and how you are doing now.  Hope all of this helped.
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