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stressed over family taunts
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stressed over family taunts

Hi there,

So in the past I have had many failed relationships; or rather relationships that did not last the test of time (but i recieved growth and good memories nonetheless) and recently I was rejected by 2 possible soulmates, Andrew and Steven.

Andrew was a sex addict who belittled me for not being loose, and Steven I was not sexually attracted to so he became extremly volatile and emotianally abusive.

Now I am over these both past relationships, but whenever I find myself being happy in career growth, personal growth, etc. I find my relatives (namely, my Dad's older sister who lives with us) picking on me, saying things like "what happened to Andrew? what happened to Steven? made a fool out of you and ran away? your life *****? don't you dare try to move forward, who you are today is who you will be forever". etc.

how do i get over this? i am over both relationships; the fact that those 2 men are no longer in my life is nothing but a blessing, but whenever i find myself moving better and going towards the direction of finding someone new...i hear their evil taunts in my mind. i am also so fearful of getting in another serious relationship and growing, being happy and moving forward as I am nervous that if it doesnt work out i will further be taunted and harassed.

help...what should i do?
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3 Comments Post a Comment
1601564 tn?1297798142
I'll answer your questions in parts.

First, Stop thinking about your past. Those 2 men were not even worth your attention. They will realize what they have lost. Compromise with anything but not with your self respect. You wrote that "they rejected you". Who are they to reject you? You are too god for them.
Be strong. Think positive.

Second thing, from now on, don't run after a person whom you find attractive. Appearance  deceive. Don't judge anyone by their appearance. Stop thinking about entering into a new relationship ( for the time being). I mean don't be in a hurry. Just wait. Let the things go slow. Don't be afraid about a new relationship. Just be patient. Someone, somewhere is made for you. Just let that person come to you. Don't search for that special person. That person will search you. That person will love you the way you are. That person will love you for eternity. Love the person who loves you. For the time being try to give yourself more time. Improve your looks, your skills, pay attention to your academics, pamper yourself.  
I know what you are going through. I  have had 9 failed relationships. I was very depressed. Everybody made fun of me. Even my family thought, I don't know how to judge people. I thought something was wrong with me. I gave up. I stopped searching. Suddenly, out of no where a girl came into my life. She said she loved me. And now we are happy together. Now I realize those 9 past relationship were not meant for me.
You also need to think like this. The worst that can happen has already happened and now only the good things will happen.

Now about the taunts. If any relatives of yours taunts or comments on your relationship, reply them firmly, instead of feeling sad or weak.
You are not weak. Reply them that they don't have any right to comment on your past relationship. Tell them nothing is constant. Things change. The same might happen to them. Tell them that the people in your past didn't deserve you. You decide who should be in your life. They didn't left you, you left them for your own good. Focus on your career, everything would be fine.
Face the taunts, don't run away from them. God surely has something special for you. Those who make fun of you are ignorant fools. Laugh at their foolishness. Don't let them over power you.
I really want you to be very successful in your professional and personal life. Believe me, you'll surely show everyone how great you are. And then those people who made fun of you, will feel sorry for themselves.
I wish you all the Best. Hey, Someone special will come to your life. Remember my words.
So go on. Face the world and make a name for yourself.
Good luck.
1548028 tn?1324616046
Wow!  Good for you that you can talk about these things!  You are a very smart girl!  Sometimes people who are unhappy in their own lives project those ideas and thought to others.  YOUR opinion and YOUR thoughts of you is all that matters.  Thank goodness these relationships failed.  Sounds like you make good decisions!  Why is she so unhappy?  Sounds to me you do have your life on the right track and you never settled for something that wasn't good enough for you!  Good job!  My dad told me a long time ago and I have lived my life knowing that when I have nothing, I have ME.  I need to love myself a lot and only allow people in my my life that will love and respect ME as much as I do.  I did find that person, had a family and after 25 years I am still respected and loved.  I would accept no less.  If I would have settled for those before my husband, I would have been miserable.  Be picky, you have that right!  Good for you!  I wish you all the best!
1604270 tn?1297794218
I'm sorry to hear that your family isn't supporting you. If they don't stop taunting you I think you should just tell them, "look those two relationships that I was in was not healthy for me and that is why I am no longer in them. If you guys can't be happy with the way my life is going just stay out of it. I'm happy, I don't have to have someone in my life." Explain to them that you need to help with yourself before you can meet someone. And their taunts are not helping you at all.
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