Dad's just had a massive stroke

Hi

I'm terribly upset. My dad has just had a stroke. He's 72 and is currently in hospital virtually asleep full time. We know that it is caused by a blood clot stemming from Atrial Fibrillation and it has affected his left side (No vision, left arm and leg)

The doctor has painted a very bleak picture which was very devastating and right now at this moment it just seems that there is no hope.

Can anyone re-assure me that if he survives there is some hope for quality of life. It's all a bit much at the moment and the future is too much to contemplate.

Thanks

[lahinva]

My dad had  a stroke 14 months ago and the first few days they painted the same picture for him.  Although he has not gotten back to where he was prior to the stroke, he is at home with my mom and doing OK.  He still cannot walk, but he continues to improve.  It is a long road through recovery We had to have alot of fights with therapists/insurance company's/etc to get continued therapy, but is was well worth the fight.  Good luck.  If you have any question along the way, this forum is a great source for answers...

[joesi]

I doubt anyone will tell you how much he will recover. How was his general health before his stroke? Being asleep most of the time may be a good thing. It allows the brain to recover better. It may be that his doctor is keeping him asleep. It may be weeks before you really know how much damage was done.
Typically, the first 90 days after a stroke will show the best rate of recovery. The next 90 days will be a bit slower and so on until one year out. Typically after one year, the rate of recovery slows to a crawl. I'm told that the brain recovers at a 20 to 1 ratio. That is to say as an example, if you bruised your arm and it took 1 month to heal, the same insult to the brain may take 20 months. The problem is, no one can really "see" the extent of the damage from a brain stroke.
It sounds like this will be a long road for him as well as his family. Is there some hope for a quality of life if he survives? YES, there is always HOPE. His best chance for some level of recovery is with you and the rest of the family. He may need lots of rehab. Insurance will only cover so much. The majority of his rehab will be left to his family. It's usually a long road.
Please check back in often and let us know how he's doing. Ask lots of questions. Be patient, and NEVER GIVE UP!

[washy21]

Thanks for your kind words - they really help.

Dad is still sleeping mostly. I asked him a few questions today and he answered them slowly, but cohesively. He is aware of what has happened, but can hardly be bothered to speak, his eyes look empty, and seeing him a shadow of his former self is what hurts.

He was not in particularly good health prior to the stroke, but that said, he is a strong man both in mind and body. I'm hoping that he has the will to pull through. I asked him whether or not he will fight this illness and he replied 'yes'

It's a turning point in my own life. I'm seeing the world with fresh eyes after this.

Thanks again for your words

[joesi]

You got your answer from him. He wants to fight and that's a big deal but keep in mind, he will not be able to do this alone. He WILL need you... a lot. This will be a long road for him AND the family. Stay strong and when he is able, keep after him to do his rehap everyday. He wont want to but you'll need to push him, within limits.
Best of luck. Check back often and let us know how he's doing and remember, NEVER GIVE UP!

[livingpositive]

Hi, my 82 year old mother had a massive stroke 3/07, she was in a coma for 6 weeks, had many complications in the hospital, but is slowly progressing.  She has moved every inch of her body at one time or another, which gives us hope that she will not be completely paralyzed.  She is awake and looks at us, but still sleeps a lot, which we think is because her brain is still recoverying.  We spend hours with her every day, talking to her, touching and massaging her, combing her hair, playing soft music, and self-healing cd's.  My family is very holistic, so the doctors allowed us to give her, l-carnitine, GPC choline & PhosphatidylSerine (all three help the brain cells to recover from stroke). I believe with all my heart, that my mother will make a miraculous recovery.  She could have left us several times, but chose to fight.  Try not to listen to anyone giving you a time frame for recovery of 1 month, 3 months, 6 months, etc.  It is their body that decides how long it will take to recover, just be there, love him, educate yourself on stroke recovery, and be the son your father knows you are.

[washy21]

Thanks

My Dad was so poorly that the doctors gave him hours to live. On their advice we agreed to stop all traetment, including food and water. I've been at his bedside for 2 days.

This morning (Wed) I arrived to see him open both his eyes and respond clearly to questions. His long and short term memory seem intact and we even had a little arm wrestle (gently) for fun. As the morning unfolded it was clear that my dad was not ready to die.

The doctor rushed in to see him and something of a 'U' turn has been instigated. He is now back on water and food will be introduced. This evening my dad was showing further signs of improvement. He now opens both eyes and blinks, plus he is alert for much much longer.

In my my mind he is still going to pass away, but there is a glimmer of hope. The doctors have still told us that he is in a serious condition and that his apparent recovery do not match the scans.

[jenny11]

My dad had a stroke 4yrs. ago when he was 80. They gave us little hope for him and if did survive would be paralyzed completely on right side. When he woke up, he didn't know anything. Had a fight to get him rehab. Finally they gave it to him in hospital for 1 month. We stayed with him in hospital and learned how to try to walk him. We used a squeeze ball to strength hand, bought flash cards for alphabet, numbers and words. Worked with him full time for 15 months. He is soon to be 85 yrs. old.
He now lives alone, drives short distances, walks the mall everyday, buys his own groceries, does his own laundry and minor house keeping. He does not talk real well and has some trouble thinking what he wants to say. He cannot write or cannot read much or remember it. Everyone who knows his previous condition says he is a miracle. Don't give up hope. We have a great God.

[Nayme]

I´m writing from Argentina and your post gave me hope.  I would like to ask you if when you say that your dad "didn´t know anything" you meant for exemple to watch but not recognizing or understanding orders.
I´m terribly sad because my dad had two month ago a severe stroke on the left side of the brain. Now he is paralized on the right side and although he watch us and follow us with his eyes, he seems to be in another dimension.  He can´t understand orders and can´t smile or to show sadnnes either.  

Thank you,

[caregiver222]

Never give up hope. The life-force is a magical entity. Nor should one be overly concerned if the stroke patient seems to stare into empty space and not notice you. My sweety is nearing 103 and for almost a year after age 100 could not smile nor show facial expression for a long, long time. Her nurse said "she seems to be in another dimension", just as you said. This morning she smiled, opened her arms and gave me an ear-to-ear grin and said "I love you!|. Her physicians and her nurses all gave up completely on her at age 100 and were counting down the days until death. Tonday (knock on wood) her days are filled with laughter and smiles and she enjoys watching television untilo midnight and munching away on bananas. I communicate with her with a dry-erase board, in large block letters. She cannot respond well to verbal communications, but can read the dry-erase board, which she hold in both tiny hands and reads aloud. A lot of touching and hugging is definitely in order. If you are visiting the room you should have your hand on his wrist or shoulder. If someone visits tell them this (outside the room). Lots and lots of television. Feeding requires lots of time and energy. Instead of chemical "thickeners|, if there is a problem in swallowing, I recommend adding organic mashed potato mix to the liquid. If you want to communicate something, try to '"mime" what you want, directly in view. Do this EVERY time. If you want them to walk to the wheelchair, tap them, and let them watch you walk to the wheelchair and sit down. Don't give up! Straightening out the day-night cycle is a problem. During the day have all the lights on in the room and the shades up. If you can, taking the patient out in the sunlight every day is extremely beneficial. The day-night circadian cycle is determined by a light sensor in the back of the eye. Sometimes it can be re-set by exposure to 45 minutes of sunlight or sunlight stimulation between 6 A.M. and 9 A.M.

[hez2]

My dad also had a massive stroke, this past Tuesday October 30th. His is 53 years old. He had another one today on the right side but a different type. It is hard to be hopeful when the doctors don't seem to offer any hope. He has not been responding correctly to pain stimulus but today there was more movement in his toes and his eyes are moving back and forth while closed. It is so hard to see him this way. We were not very close growing up and it has only been in the last two years that I have come back to visit more often. I am left to make the decisions for him even though he has had a girlfriend for the past 25 years. I am hoping he will regain some type of consciousness. Right now he is on a respirator and is breathing very little on his own. I flew over early Wednesday morning and am staying in a hotel near the hospital. I do not know what to do. I feel his girlfriend is going to pressure me to take him off of life support and I don't know who will take care of him if he does show signs of improvement if she is unwilling to help him with rehab. They have no insurance and limited means. Where can I go for help?

[caregiver222]

He has had two strokes within a short period of time. This suggests to me his condition was not stabilized. As for his girlfriend pressuring to take him off life support, it is far too early to even consider such a decision. If he is on a respirator make sure that the "bubbler" is not filling his lungs with water. Many RT's have no concept of how to handle a stroke patient. At this point be hopeful. Later on down the line you can re-evaluate the situation.

[hez2]

Thank you for responding. The first stroke they think was caused by high blood pressure it was a hemorrhagic stroke. The second they think was caused when they lowered his blood pressure it was a Ischemic stroke. The first stroke is the most severe and originated in the Putamen ( a part of the basal ganglia). The second is on the right side and I've been told it controls spatial concepts. He has started to move more today and instead of only having posturing movements he has started to bring his arms up in a more normal response. He has tried to cough a couple of times and I have noticed some water which looks like condensation in the breathing tube. I will ask about the "bubbler".

[caregiver222]

The "bubbler issue" a serious one, and I have not been succcessful in dealing with it. The "bubbler" prevents the oxygen supplementation from drying out the mucosal tissues. All well and good. But the existing bubblers add too much water which condenses in the tube and invariably ends up in the lung and causes pneumonia. Talking to the RT, the hospital administrator and the physicians on duty do no good. I designed a device to add moisture, but not as much as a bubbler and you would think I was criminal because the hospital refused to allow it to be used. I later installed it in a patient's home. I am not going to be overly critical of the treatment, because these situations are very difficult to evaluate, and often involve a lot of guessing. If there is condensation in the breathing tube there is too much fluid going into his lungs. The fact he has a cough reflect is a very positive signb. Pneumonia develops in those who lack the reflex, generally due to the stroke. I am very pleased he has started to move. This is a very good indication. Encourage him to move his arms and insure that his limbs are flexed several times a day by a therapist. If he is offered a beverage it should not be placed in his hand, but he should be encouraged to "reach". Similarly, he should be allowed to extend his arms to replace the beverage on the tray, rather than this being done for him. Small pieces of banana placed in his hand serve several purposes, if he has advanced enough to handle this. They are nutritious, but they permit him to regain coordination and exercise his wrists, fingers and arms. Do not give him a "big piece". It's the journey, not the destination. Make sure the banana is ripe. Small pieces of avocado are also excellent for this purpose.  If this isn't done, then you should do this, extending all his limbs through a full range of motion. He should be removed from his bed and be sitting in a chair. It sounds like he is improving and that is great!

[hez2]

He has not yet been conscious since the stroke on Tuesday, but as soon as he is I will remember these suggestions. Thank you. I did not get to talk to the doctors today but evidently either Monday or Tuesday they want to get together with the family and discuss his progress I am afraid of what they are going to say. Today he ran a fever 100.6 but they got it down with wet wash clothes. He was not moving his eyes today but still moved his arms and toes a little.

[hez2]

Dad has still not regain any consciousness. He is swelling up and becoming less responsive to pain stimulus. We are taking him off the ventalator tonight and letting him go. It is very hard, but we are not being given any hope for him. Hope the rest of you and your families have better outcomes.

[caregiver222]

My condolances. I will say a prayer for you.

[karma24]

So sorry for the very tough situation you & yours are going through. To lose someone, only 53yrs. old, is unimaginable. I lost my dad 10/24 of this year to a massive hemorrhagic stroke, he was 68. His brain swelled & shifted to one side, he was in a coma & brain dead the next day. I feel he was over medicated.

[VelRobby]

Hello.
My dad had a massive stroke in June of 2006, he is 76 years old now(2008). We didn't know what to expect as we never even expected the stroke. Dad had just had his yearly check up shortly before this massive stroke and the doctors told him that he had the bllod pressure of a 20 year old, also all of his other tests were normal including the stress test, ekg, etc...
Then one night, Bam, massive headache which turned out to be the stroke.
Today dad is ok. Not the dad that I knew before the stroke but he is doing the best that he can under the circumstances. He has some vision loss and arm/leg problems on the left side. He describes it as feeling like you are bumping your "crazy Bone" all day, 24/7. He can no longer drive and that hurts dad deeply because he lives alone and used to love to drive. I am his daughter and I live in the apt. underneath him. God has blessed me with a very bad back so I am able to be here to take care of dad. If not for my disability my father could have died alone in his apartment. So glad for the back problems that keep me from working.
I want to wish you all the best with your family members who are ill. I also want to you that you are all in my prayers. And remember this, remember to take care of you sometimes because without you, your loved ones would be lost. They need us and we need to be healthy in order to be there for them. Also, if they are like my dad is, they want us to have some "Me" time. I am always a phone call or a few steps away from dad even when I am having my "me time"
God bless and take care,
Robby

[Jolie128]

Dear Robby and all others dealing w/ a loved one who had a stroke. My Dad is 76 had a massive stroke on 11/06/08, he is now in the rehab in the hospital, they tell me he can have another stroke at any time, and I see  w/Robby's Dad, alot of time can go by before another one hits.
    I also have a bad back, I have a morphine pump in me, but I am at that hospital all the time, have yet to miss a day. My mom died in 1997 of lung cancer, and my Dad worked till he was 74, ever since he was layed off he has been depressed, was not eating right nor taking care of himself. Then on the 6th the stroke hit, I found him on the floor, he was not there long, thank God, we got him to the hospital asap. Now some docs say he is doing well, and other say he may never eat/walk/drive/ play golf w/ my son ever again. He has a feeding tube and will come home with that. I can understand him, others can't. This past Sunday nite, he was making no sense at all, I spoke to the nurse and she said "oh he is exhausted, well his B.P. dropped and his speech was worse, he is doing a bit better from Sunday.
     I am trying to be positive, I worked in a nursing home so I do know what to do, but I do not think he will want to live like this. when I saw him in rehab, with his head down and they had him looking in a full length mirror, that just broke my heart, I can not imagine what he thought, I am scared to death he will have another stroke, I did not realize they can be years apart.Thank you all for your stories.
    Thank you all for all the info, I will update soon.
                                                   Sincerely, Jolie

[heartssing08]

My mother had a massive stroke about 3 years ago. she was just 39 when it happened. she has always had high blood pressure, and she had been hospitalized in the past because it had hit stroke level, but she finally had a massive stroke.

the first few days, she didn't know who anyone was. it had left her unable to speak, unable to swallow, she had a feeding tube in her nose, and she was paralyzed on the right side. she also ended up having to need a colostomy bag.

at first we weren't sure she'd ever make it through. it's been about 3 years since she first had her stroke.  she is in a nursing home now. she still needs round the clock care, but she knows who we are, she can swallow on her own, she is gaining small amounts of mobility in her right arm and leg but she's still not 100%. she mumbles words but she communicates with us pretty well through hand signals and other things.

she has short term memory loss, she won't remember something from yesterday. but she still has her long term memory. she still remembers things that happened almost 15 years ago.

she is taking physical and speech therapy.  the doctor's already know that she will never be 100% fully recovered. i'm not even for sure if she'll ever walk again, and i'm not for sure if she'll ever talk normally again, but i'm just glad she survived. she always seems very happy even though I know she gets frustrated because of the situation she's in, but she still never gives up.

all I can say, is that if his stroke was as bad as my mom's was, it's going to be a long time before he's well. it took my mom almost a year maybe a year and a half before was able to communicate with us. it took her about 4 or 5 months to learn how to swallow again. it's going to take time, but just have faith. that's all i had to rely on, my faith. and just pray EVERY day.

[pamy]

my sister inlaw as just had a massive stroke, they found a blood clot in her head, this stroke as affected her left side. she knows everyone talking is ok,eats good,but can not use her left side at all,about her eating it has to be mashed up , we pray that in time with alot of love and care that she will inprove, my prays are with you all.


                          pam

[trisha22]

My mom had a massive stroke at the age of 55 on Jan.13/08, it will be one year soon and little progress has been made.  She lost oxygen to her brain for 20 mins. with a heart attack that lead to the stroke.  They did not expect her to live after that and here she is still fighting.  She is on feeding tubes and a has a tracheotomy to help with breathing.  My mom is a strong and devoted Christian and when this happened it left us all torn apart as to why this would happen to her.  But God knows and we have been holding on to his promise for healing and keeping faithful for her as she would want us to be.  But it's very hard, I am very close to my mom and was pregnant at the time, she has been able to interact with my son.  She can only open her eyes and sometimes we don't know if she can see but we think she can hear us because she responds with blinks.  It is just really getting harder as the 1 year mark approaches and it's good to hear that some people take longer to recover.  I don't know what else to do at this point, i miss her dearly but don't want her to live a life on a hospital bed not knowing if she is feeling pain or can even remember us.  I do pray every day for my mom and hope that God hears us one day and does something soon!  To all those out there in the same situation my prayers are with your loved one and your family.  

[Todd557]

My mother Tess had a stroke on the day after Christmas (Friday night). It paralyzed her left side and she had the classic face drop and difficulty speaking. She was very weak and would try and communicate and then fall back asleep. Mom was doing well in an assisted living facility prior to the stroke. Arthritis was her main complaint and she needed help with meals and standing to use her walker. She had her own apartment and she liked having her independence.

Mom had a mechanical heart valve put in about 20 years ago and we knew there could be complications with blood clots as they try and keep the blood thinner than normal with medication. About a year ago she 'threw clots' as they call it into her left leg and right arm. Those were taken out quickly in the emergency unit at the hospital. Ever since then she has been weak and we knew she could have more serious problems in the future. We were prepared for an event such as this.

A few days ago they were planning to put a gastric feeding tube in her stomach but she suffered a massive stroke and the hope for recovery is little to none. She also had a clot in her left leg that the vascular doctor decided to not remove because it won't benefit her at this point.

Before the second stroke my mother asked not to be resuscitated in the event of a heart attack or respiratory failure. The reason for not resuscitating is because of the condition she would be in if she were to survive. She certainly did not want to be in a state of health like she currently is in. The difficult part in all of this is when I had to decide to let her die.

Now we are waiting for the 'death call' from the hospital. My prayers have changed in the last few days from those of 'healing' to those of 'mercy' as my mother was a believer in the Lord Jesus and she was comfortable with going home to the Lord.

My hope is that if nothing else, someone out there will read this and understand that we will all make a transition at our own time of death. That is what the scriptures say anyway. I have peace of mind believing that my mother will be in heaven soon and that is all I could ask for at this point. We had mom over for Christmas the day before the stroke and now I can see what a blessing that was for all of us. My mom will be missed but I do believe that we will all be together again some day in the future. God must have a plan for our destiny because we are His children.

So when you have a loved one who might soon pass away, please consider that they are only in transition to a better place and that keeping them alive here on earth might not be so wonderful.

My mom will enter an everlasting peace soon and although I am sad to see her go, I am happy for her 'new life' that is coming.

God Bless you and your loved ones.

- Todd -

  

[lanis3]

My mother had a stroke about a year ago, which left her with some memory loss.  She doesn't remember things like some vacations or recipes or friends names, etc.  However lately it's gotten worse.  She doesn't remember when I have visited her last or if she had eaten or what she had to eat that day.  When talking with her she stated she worked for a certain company, which I know is not true, and also says she visited a family member in the hospital recently, which again is not true.   I would like to know if this is because of the initial stroke, and should I be concerned about it?  

[justwanttohelp515]

I don't know what to do. My girlfriends father has suffered a major stroke two days ago. nobody is sure of how long he was unconsious for as everyone was out. he hasnt had a drop in his face but function in his right arm,hand,etc has gone. he is responding but not coherently. the doctors have said that it may turn into a ischaemic stroke. What does that mean???? I feel completly usless all i can think of doing is to pray for his recovery and comfort. Im not a strict church goer ut it's all i can think of. My girlfriend is understandably upset and i have know idea of what to say or do. she has asked me not to come up as she needs to deal with this with her family - which i completly understand and respect - but i feel that i should be helping in someway.

the closest i can come to understanding what her father is going through is that myself had a subarachnoid hemmorage last year (caused by a burts anurysm) but i dont remember much as i was completly delerious at the time.

the last thing i want to do is come across condesending but at the same time im not heartless - i really dont know what to say - half my brain tells me to say sorry over and over again (which is highly annoying) and the other side wants me to fill her with facts, hope and (in some way) the worst case prep (which is equally, if not more annoying). all i want to do is be there for her to help her through this hard time.

I understand that everybody deals with things differently but...
I suppose my question is - What did you want/get from your loved ones whilst going through such a difficult time.....

[tyeceholmes]

MY GRANDMOTHER HAD A MASSIVE STROKE ON SATURDAY 3/14/09 AND IT HAS REALLY BEEN HARD ON THE WHOLE FAMILY.  SHE WAS ON LIFE SUPPORT FOR THE 1ST 24 HRS, BUT HAS SINCE BEEN ABLE TO BREATH ON HER OWN.  SHE IS STILL SLEEPING AND NOW JUST HAS OXYGEN AND A TUBE IN HER NOSE.  SHE HAS WHAT THE NURSES CALL INVOLUNTARY MOVEMENTS WHICH GIVES US SOME HOPE AND THEN THE NURSE SAID THAT HER MOVEMENTS ARE NOT A GOOD SIGN.  I AM PUZZLED BY THAT. NOW ON MONDAY 3/16/09 WE BEGAN TO SEE HER RIGHT SIDE (ENTIRE) BEGIN TO REALLY SWELL UP.  THE NURSES TOOK THE I.V. OUT HER NECK ON THAT SIDE AND PLACED IT IN HER LEFT ARM.  THEY WERE THINKING THAT MIGHT BE THE PROBLEM.  WE WERE ALSO TOLD THAT SHE HAS PHENUMONIA.  I KNOW THAT IT HAS TO DO WITH HER LUNGS AND AN INFECTION.  THEY ALSO HAVE RE-RAN HER TESTING, YET SEE NOTHING DIFFERENT THAN THE 1ST ONE.  I NEED TO KNOW WHAT PART OF HER BRAIN DID SHE HAVE HER STROKE IN SO I CAN RESEARCH IT.  I AM ONLY THE GRANDDAUGHTER, SO I CAN'T GET 1ST HAND INFO.  ONLY HER CHILDREN CAN AND WE ALL KNOW WHAT 2ND HAND INFORMATION AMOUNTS TOO.  IT'S ALREADY DISTORTED BY THE TIME YOU GET IT!!!!  AND THAT IS WHAT IS KILLING ME THE MOST.  I REALLY DON'T KNOW.  I GUESS I AM SCARED OF WHAT MIGHT HAPPEN.  THE DR. TOLD MY AUNT THAT HE IS WORRIED THAT SHE WILL HAVE ANOTHER STROKE WHILE STILL IN I.C.U.. HER B/P WAS GOOD WHEN I SAW HER LAST NIGHT BUT THAT WAS FOR 30 MIN.  I DON'T KNOW WHAT HER AVERAGE IS THROUGH-OUT THE DAY.  IT WAS WEIRD CAUSE SATURDAY WAS THE 1ST TIME IN 8YRS THAT ALL OF HER AND HER CHILDREN WERE TOGETHER IN THE SAME PLACE.  PRIOR TO THAT HER HEALTH WAS NOT TOO GOOD.  OH AND LET ME SAY THAT SHE IS A DIABETIC.  I KNOW THAT ALL OF THIS REALLY DOES PLAY A PART IN HER RECOVERY IF THERE IS ONE.  I HAVE COME TO TERMS OF WHAT "IF" BECAUSE IF I HAVE MENTALLY PREPARED MYSELF THEN IT WON'T HURT AS MUCH AS ME DENYING REALITY.  I LOVE HER WITH ALL OF MY HEART, AND ALL I HAVE DONE IS PRAY FOR HER AND I TALK TO HER WHEN I GO TO SEE HER.  I WILL GO AND SEE HER TODAY AFTER WORK AT 6PM VISIT.  I WILL UPDATE YOU ALL AND IF ANYONE KNOWS WHERE I AM COMING FROM THEN I COULD REALLY USE THE SUPPORT RIGHT NOW.  AND IF ANYONE OUT THERE PRAYS, THEN COULD YOU PLEASE KEEP MY GRANDMOTHER IN YOUR PRAYERS, HER NAME IS GERTHA.  THANK YOU.

[tyeceholmes]

YESTERDAY (3-18-09) I WENT AND SAW MY GRANDMOTHER AT THE 6PM VISIT AND THE NURSE WAS IN THERE AND AGAIN I ASKED WHY MY GRANDMOTHER WAS STILL SWOLLEN IF THEY THOUGHT IT WAS FROM THE IV AND IT WAS TAKEN OUT 2 DAYS AGO?  I STILL NEVER GOT A CLEAR ANSWER.  IT'S LIKE THEY ARE SCARED TO TELL ME THE FULL TRUTH!!!  I STILL DON'T KNOW WHERE IN HER BRAIN THE STROKE HAS AFFECTED YET.  WHEN I ASKED ABOUT THE TEST RESULTS I WAS TOLD ABOUT THE SAME AS BEFORE.  WELL....THAT TEST SHOWED THAT SHE WAS BRAIN DEAD...BUT IT CONTRADICTS WHAT WE SEE WITH OUR OWN EYES!!!  YESTERDAY MY GRANDMOTHER HAD HER EYES OPEN FINALLY!!!!! AND SHE WAS MUMBLING AWAY.  I KNOW IT IS HARD FOR HER TO SEE SO I PUT THE BED RAIL DOWN AND I GOT CLOSE TO HER FACE SO SHE COULD FOCUS ON ME AND I TOLD HER THAT TYECE IS HERE AND I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND SHE SMILED.  SO I THEN KISSED HER FOREHEAD AND A LITTLE HUG, PUT HER BEDRAIL UP AND TOLD THE FAMILY BYE.  WHAT THE DR.'S ARE TELLING US CONTRADICTS EVERYTHING THAT WE SEE AND HEAR FOR OURSELVES.  I KNOW THAT IN TIME WE WILL KNOW WHAT THE REAL DEAL IS AND I DID SUGGEST TO THE FAMILY ( AND THAT IS ALL I CAN DO) IS TO HAVE A NEUROLOGIST CHECK HER.  REMIND YOU MY FAMILY IS FROM A  SMALL TOWN IN LOUISIANA, AND TECHNOLOGY IS NOT WHAT THE HOSPITAL IS ABOUT.  BUT NO ONE WANTS TO MOVE HER TO  A MORE ADVANCED HOSPTIAL.  WHICH TO ME IS JUST STRAIGHT SELFISH ON THEIR PART.  I KNOW THAT I WOULD ONLY WANT THE BEST CARE AT ANY COST FOR MY MOTHER.  I GUESS TIS IS JUST MORE OF THE NATURAL FAMILY CONFLICT!!!   BUT I WILL BE BACK IN TOUCH WITH YOU AND IT HELPS ME TO LET IT OUT ALSO.  

[rimarlena]

Hey, just wondering how your grandmother is doing?
My mother had a stroke 2 weeks ago on the left side of brain which left her paralysed on right side and unable to speak.

She is getting better, but not being accepted into rehab. I don't know what to do because she is responding but is quite down.

Everyday we hope for more improvement...

[donnajeans]

I don't know how much hope I can offer, but my father had a massive stroke on the left side of his brain.  Leaving him paralyzed on his right side, no speech, not too much memory..and leaving him awake, but being able to do nothing.  He has a permanent feeding tube, and now it's almost a yr and he he just lays in a bed.  The doctors told me the feeding tube can be reversed, but it cannot.  So his quality of life is nothing.  I had to put him into a nursing home, he is in a diaper, can't talk, can't understand much, can't even hardly change the channel to the television, can't tell you when the remote falls on the floor, nor can he lift his body up when he is uncomfortable.  It is now almost one yr later, and to those doctors who said he could get better...what is better to them?
I never miss a day seeing him, he is angry at me for doing this to him, he is angry at everyone.  I don't even know this man.
This is so horrendous!  To watch a loved one, one so active and vital and now is a coherent vegetable.  He is awake, but cannot do one thing for himself.
So if after a yr chances of him doing better are what %?  The nurses told me last night he could outlive me because of the feeding tube...
and I am all he has..

[sandybeachdonkey]

my auntie had a big stroke 4 weeks ago, she sleeps alot, dont want to eat, and is giving up on her life, she is numb down her right hand side, dont know who people ect family are but some how knows me and that ive had 3 transplants, 2 livers and a lung, can any one help me i know she is 83 years, i love her to bits,,

[pj1941]

my dad had his first stroke 14 years ago at the age of 55,a heart attack about five years ago,followed by a second massive stroke about a month later.The stroke left him unable to talk,had difficulty swallowing,but his mobility was not affected at all.2 years ago he was in a pretty bad car accident,he was back to hospital,bedridden for over four months ,contracted sepsis,the doctors told us to take him home to die near his family.Today,he is walking again,still cant talk,still has a little difficulty swallowing but hes more positive than ever...

[Angelika18]

My Dad had a stroke on Tuesday, August 18th, 2009 in Walmart.  He was admitted to the hospital right away.  He was given a clot buster.  When I first seen him, he was very alert but it was heart wrenching because due to the stroke affecting his right side of his brain, he couldn't even turn his head to the left.  While laying on that bed, he took his right arm and grabbed his left arm saying "wake up boy!  wake up".  Miraculously, a few hours later he was able to move his left side in full force which was great!  We were so happy.  My Dad was improving every day clinically but the CT scan showed that he was getting worse.  10 days later, my Dad stopped responding and we opted to get a hemicraniotomy knowing that with having the surgery we don't know what his quality of life will be or if he'll make it thru surgery.  I didn't want the surgery because my Dad had said the first day of being at the hospital he didn't want them to cut him but my brother insisted we do this because if Dad dies, it will be my fault by not taking a chance with surgery.  The surgery was successful, he made it thru it.  My Dad now has no skull on the right side of his head and it was implanted in his abdomen.  Now it was a waiting game, he was sedated and we had to see if he'll wake up.  Surely, my Dad wakes up but in excruciating pain.  It was torture watching him recover from that, all he did was cry and say "Lord, have mercy on me pleaase."  Not only did you make the decision to get this surgery but now you must watch what you've done.  Since having the surgery, things haven't been the same.  He started getting seizures.  A seizure that lasted the whole day... they gave him strong seizure meds and said if this doesn't help eventually his brain will stop functioning.  We had a priest come and give him his last rights.  Miraculously my Dad woke up from it.  It's been a roller coaster ride... a scary one at that.  He starts improving and then suddenly he's back to where he started.  He's totally paralyzed on his left side but he knows who I am.  With being in the hospital for so long, he contracted sepsis.  It's now December 17th, 2009 and I cry myself to sleep every day.  It breaks my heart watching him this way every day.  From being very active and now unable to do anything for himself.  In the beginning he would ask me what kind of life will he have, that he misses us, that he wants to go home and now with having sepsis he's not as alert anymore.  He sleeps most of the day.  I know he hears me when I speak because he'd answer a question sometimes but is unable to open his eyes.  I kiss him hundreds of times thru the day telling him that I love him so much.  He's now in a nursing/rehabilitation center and he doesn't have a long time to be there because insurance won't allow it.  Not only do you deal with the reality of watching your loved one suffer or deteriorate in front of you but you also deal with all the political crap behind healthcare.  He served 5 years of his life in the army and also worked for 40 years for this country and now he's ill and he gets kicked to the curb.  According to insurance, they want him to be able to walk already but he's not even close to that.  To have him stand with assistance is a huge deal or to pick up the blue cup and put it in the therapist right hand to make him more aware of his left side since he was neglecting that side isn't enough improvement??  Having a stroke is like taking baby steps... he needs time that the insurance company isn't willing to give him.  I hate this... it's sooo unfair!  This experience in every way has been an eye opener.  My life has changed tremendously.  Made me realize that we only have seconds because within that second, your life has changed and did a 180.  The people your surrounded with right now are not the same people that will be around when things get rough.  Those that have a lot to say in the beginning are no where to be found when it gets harder.  I've never left my Dad's side and I will continue to stand by him.  He will never be my burden.  He will always be my Buddy.  I'm so proud of him thus far... he's definitely a trooper to me.                                  

Sorry for the long novel... today was a rough day and came across this blog in hopes of getting things off my chest to be able to sleep tonight.  I appreciate all of your stories... it has helped me out a whole lot tonight.  Thank you.

*Angel*

[Ramesh1962]

My relative( who had brought up my wife), 81 yrs.old, fell down on Dec.30, 2009 and had a massive haemmorhagic stroke. He is in intensive care, and the left side is paralyzed. Though he is unconscious,his vital signs are all Ok. He opens his eyes now and then, his breathing is spontaneous, and he coughs now and then. When a piece of paper was given to him, he crumpled it. The doctors are advising us to take him home for rehab.When will his conciousness return? Request all of you to pray for his speedy recovery.

[mom89]

In April my mom had a her second stroke in two years.  She lost her speech, but with therapy regained it entirely.  She was confined to a wheelchair, but could pull herself up to use the restroom.  In July, she had a masive brain stroke.  It left her unable to pull herself up.  She is completely paralized on the right side.  She can only eat foods that are pureed, and no liquids unless they have been thickend.  She is able to say a word or two now and then, but it is difficult to understand her at all.  She is 89 years old, and has to be lifted in and out of bed with a lift.  She has no quality of life.  The insurance stopped paying anything a month after her stroke.  How long can someone live in this shape?

[John_in_Portland]

My mom had a hemorrhagic stroke a year and a half ago when she was 76.  The performed surgery to remove the mass of blood. Her right side was affected and could not move her leg and had very little movement in her arm. Today, she has had really no improvement in her physical abilities eventhough she has had a lot of physical therapy, OT and speech therapy.  She is in a wheelchair and can't do much.  Her mental function has improved although her speech is not perfect and her short term memory is not so hot.  They say if you survive a bleeding stroke your improvement should be better than an ischemic stroke, but unfortunately that has not been the case for her.  She is so bored because she cannot do anything she used to enjoy.  Mostly, she watches tv.  

She had a second small stroke a month after the first one.  Several seizures which seem to be under control now.  She lives in a foster home but wants to "go home" and take care of herself, which we know would never be possible.  because of her lack of movement and inability to stand her muscles are weakened and I worry for her prognosis.

Needless to say this has been extremely devastating for our family.  Has anyone else had this experience?  I guess I just want to say that at least in our case, we've seen very little improvement in her physical ability.  I'm all about being positive and hopeful but clearly she'll never walk, or even help herself to the commode by herself.  What do I hope?  That she will live for many years in a wheel chair in a room in a foster home where she gets out of bed and watches TV all day?  We visit her after work and take her out on weekends but still, it's not much of an existence...

Thanks for listening.

John

[John_in_Portland]

My mom had a hemorrhagic stroke a year and a half ago when she was 76.  The performed surgery to remove the mass of blood. Her right side was affected and could not move her leg and had very little movement in her arm. Today, she has had really no improvement in her physical abilities eventhough she has had a lot of physical therapy, OT and speech therapy.  She is in a wheelchair and can't do much.  Her mental function has improved although her speech is not perfect and her short term memory is not so hot.  They say if you survive a bleeding stroke your improvement should be better than an ischemic stroke, but unfortunately that has not been the case for her.  She is so bored because she cannot do anything she used to enjoy.  Mostly, she watches tv.  

She had a second small stroke a month after the first one.  Several seizures which seem to be under control now.  She lives in a foster home but wants to "go home" and take care of herself, which we know would never be possible.  because of her lack of movement and inability to stand her muscles are weakened and I worry for her prognosis.

Needless to say this has been extremely devastating for our family.  Has anyone else had this experience?  I guess I just want to say that at least in our case, we've seen very little improvement in her physical ability.  I'm all about being positive and hopeful but clearly she'll never walk, or even help herself to the commode by herself.  What do I hope?  That she will live for many years in a wheel chair in a room in a foster home where she gets out of bed and watches TV all day?  We visit her after work and take her out on weekends but still, it's not much of an existence...

Thanks for listening.

John

[daddysgirl28]

i really appreciate this site, it has given me hope! my father had a stroke 20 days ago and since then i have only been able to see his progress through cell phone videos my aunt takes for me everyday. he can now open his eyes on his own. and from what i heard, he can try to follow the family around the hospital room. i almost lost faith because it was heart breaking seeing my father in the hospital in the condition he was in. not able to wake up. talk. move or anything. i was getting upset with my family for not knowing how permanent and serious this massive stoke was.  i was thinking they were crazy for even thinking he would know whats going on. i really think i was feeling like this because i was angry and hate the condition he's in. but the reality is that he may not be 100% the same but atleast he is still alive and now from reading these posts i will not give up the faith. im 700 miles away from my family and im the youngest of four and only girl so im basically a daddy's girl/ this stroke has really got me down but i will keep my head up. every person is different and his case may just as well be as great as the outcome of some of the stroke patients i read about. thanks again for everyone's posts

[Elle2531]

My dad (79 years old) had elective back surgery on February 22, 2010.  Two days later he had a massive right brain stroke leaving him paralyzed on his left hand side.  He did not loose his ability to speak and did not loose any of his memory.  Within a short period of time he was able to move his fingers, hand and now his entire arm is back to normal.  His leg did not move.  He is unable to support his body because his core is too weak (due to the spine surgery).  It takes four people to move him from his bed to a wheel chair, etc.  Today is April 3, 2010 and I am happy to report that dad now can move his leg from the hip, bend his knee and move it side to side.  His toes still do not move.  He is still unable to stand on his own due to the weak core issue but Physical Therapy will help strengthen that.

I was very skeptical about what condition my dad was going to end up in after this stroke occurred.  I am now a firm believer that a lot of the recovery comes from PT and ALOT of recovery comes from the patients desire to overcome.  My dad is driven to 'beat this thing' and get back to a normal life.  I see small improvements every day.  He is motivated to get home and start recovering there.

Dont give up on your loved ones.  Do as much research as you can on stroke recovery so that you can help them understand what is happening to their brain and their body.  Be their cheerleader....help motivate them and keep their focus clear.  You will be surprised at what positivity can do to help them heal.

[LittleJxxx]

Hey everyone,
My dad had a stroke 7 years ago when he was 39 years old. I was 10. He wasn't overweight, didn't drink or smoke or anything like that. he was a fit young man and it just happened. I'm crying as i write this haha don't know why, i guess even now just remembering seeing him and being so scared and worried and not knowing anything that was going on... not something i'd wish on anyone. The doctors just kept being disbelieving like it just shouldn't have happened so young to someone so healthy. I was so scared and upset and just.. lost. So i guess what i'm trying to say is it's okay to feel like that too. And it's also okay to put it away and deal with it later, when it's not so raw. Thankfully dad made a full recovery and is now perfectly fine, it took him a little while but he was so stubborn and determined he got there. I think also having me and my younger brother around helped remind him everyday to keep going and not give up.
So keep your chins up and live every day.
you'll be in my prayers
Little J
xxx

[justineshanti]

Wow, so many people out there are going through the same cruel fate of having a loved one suddenly suffering a massive, debilitating stroke, I started reading the comments above and there are just so many that relate to what happened to my father last year.... After 9 months in a rehabilitation centre he is now back home being cared for by my mother. However much I try to reassure myself that we are lucky that he survived I can't help but feel that they have been let down by the system & wish there was more I could do.....

[Breezie32]

My dad had a massive stroke on 12/29/2010. My life have not been the same since.He also have an infection,and had to go in dyalisis. He is not doing so well, ans when we come to see him, he just stares into space, but does react to pain. I hate to see him in this state. He is currently on the breathing tubes, and he is making little progress. My dad would not want to live the rest of his life ona  breathing tube and being fed from a feedig tube. I pray that god makes a full recovery, or have mercy on him.I don't want my father to live like this.

[david2k]

hi all,reading thru all of your posts here makes me happy that there are so many older people who eventually have a reasonable life and sad that a lot are left with just an existance
My dad is 83 he just had his stroke 2 days ago we like you all were, are naturally devastated
he is paralysed on his right side and lost his speech
he is awake and aware but that too for him means he kinda knows what is going on and that just 3 days ago he could walk talk and have the dignity of going to the bathroom
some of yr experiences have given me hope and some have given me a reality check, I guess like most of you the word "stroke" was in other peoples families not one's own
I pray that he does not have to stay in this condition and will gradually improve of course it does not help when the hospital staff keep telling us that it is not uncommon for them to have a second stroke very soon after the first
My prayers go out to all of you who have written on this site
I hope for my dad and for all of your loved ones the outcome will be as good as one can get
David x

[CSCASEBIER]

My father went in the hospital Dec 10 2010. He had a heart bypass surgery.He was overall healthy until we discovered his blockage. He had no other health problems. He came out of ICU walking, talking, eating.
On the day before we were to be discharged from the hospital he developed breathing problems. Due to the fact they kept him so knocked out on ativan, ataill, zanx and other pills. He could not cough, could not walk, or eat. I will not go into all the mistakes the NEA Hospital in our area made. My father quit breathing on Dec 17, 2010. My mother and I was standing beside his bed when he took that last breath. He was full code. He was revived. He was in a coma for weeks. Excately how many weeks no one really knows because at times he was open his eyes and the nurses and doctors would say it was just invol. he would move his arms and it was involuntary as well. The doctors all told us he had brain stem damage. They told us he would never get off the ventilator. They said he would be a VEG. They said he would not live. We finally got my father transferred to the Bapist Hospital in Tenn. where he was placed in Restoreative Care Unit. Those doctors did a GREAT job with my father. However it was the nurses who I admire and respect. Those nurses are 100% the reason I still have my father. The RT's were wonderful!!
My father had alot of problems when we put him in Restoretive Care. He was passing blood in his kidneys and Bowels. He had a fever that had not gone away in over a month. He was not breathing on his own. He could not talk. He had a feeding tube.
Today my father is in a nursing home Rehab. He just got the trachea taken out. Which the doctors said would NEVER happen. He is breathing without oxygen. He is talking!!! He is slow to respond but he does. He knows everyone that comes to visit him. He can say my name, he told my mother he loved her. He had lost the use of his left arm and left leg. That is not going so well. The PT thinks she is fighting a loosing battle. His leg is contracted and will not straighten out. His left arm is just across his chest. He always pulls it into him. However he moves his right leg and right hand and arm. he can wash his face. He can put on his hat. He is starting to eat pudding and drink thickened drinks. We are in hope now that he will continue eating and drinking. The speech thearpist is very good and she believes he will be able to get the feeding tube out soon.
My father is 70 years old next month he will be 71. I did not think on Dec 17 that my father would be with me on his birthday. Now I know he will be.
All doctors told us he would not live or he would be a VEG. My dad fell out of the bed the other night because he was wanting to walk. He talks he shakes hands with people and he is fully aware of every thing. Dont give up!!! Doctors dont know everything. My father is with me today because I refused to turn the ventilator off. I made them send him to a better hospital. I fought for him and he fights every day to get better. He walked into a hospital trusting he would be home in 5 days and because of mistakes in his recovery he is still not home.
My family is remodeling the bathroom and in a few weeks Dad will be coming home.
I hope this helps someone else.

[Sepati_SA]

My dad suffered a stroke last weekend (02 July 2011). He is still in ICU and his right side is paralysed. Am not sure what to do, I am always so scared when my family calls me. My mom is being strong and sisters are brave but am always so scared. I am 450km away from home and ma always anxious. Someone please reassure me that things will improve. My dad open his eyes and wants to talk but he can't. His blood pressure is often very high, he is due for a CT scan this week and we hope it's good news. What scares me the most is not knowing what is going on, I see so much pain in his eyes. He never liked hospitals but had no choice this time. Please keep him in your prayers.

[soli360]

Hi,
My mom had a massive stroke on 4/2011 and she was in ICU for 10 days.then she was in hospital for 3 weeks.now she is home.she was sleep most of the time,she still is.she knows everyone and she talked a little.
She got her movement back.but she still had feeding tube in her stomach she can not swallow and she has no control over her bladder.she could eat a little soup before but again she lost that too,she keep pointing to her neck and she makes faces that she is in pain.we took her to the dr.they don't know what is going on.I miss hearing my moms voice . She is 70 years old and reading all these posts give me some hope.
Thank you guys

[ggdonna]

my 79 yr old grandma has had her second brain aneurysm in 15yrs she is alive but only taking in 26% of what she needs to survive she has good days and bad days the problem is my mom wants to let her die so she doesnt suffer but grandpa wants to hold up hope that she can recover so on top of the roller coaster i am tryin to keep the peace i feel like i should just spend my time with her loving her and all they wanna do is fight! do u think a family meeting is in order or should i just do my own thing and stay out of there drama?
stuck in the middle

[mrssnydes]

hi all my 82yr old nanna had a stroke last night they say its a blood clot that caused it in her brain she had just travelled from england to queensland to visit my sick uncle and had returned back to england all was good till 3 weeks after, she had a stroke, its really hard when i live here i australia and shes in england  i feel guilty as she rang me on monday at 1am and i didt answer as it was to late i had plans to ring her back this weekend and know it feels like it might be to late..i wish i had just rang her..my uncle is now blaming himself for her travels but she really wanted to see him as he is very sick with cancer i hope he sees on  the postive side that we all got to see her..my family over there are with her and i know they will be by her side.. helping as much as they can and to show love and hope im scared she might die and i didnt get to say goodbye im wonderig what is her chances of recovery??? god bless my nanna bessie xxx

[chriscabradilla]

hi my father had a stroke on august 28, 2004, he was 51 then, we rushed him to a hospital, doctor says he is 50-50.. i didnt beleive them coz he was moving .. his mri says indeed that he was critical, on the 3rd day his leftside of head was swelling, i realized he was really in a bad shape,hurts me a lot, i cried almost every minute, i was really stressed.. a week after the stroke he passed away.. after his death he always visits me in my dreams almost everyday.. cant even type all the details as im in tears right now.. i know he is in heaven..

[kara601]

My grandmother had a stroke on saturday, they said she will be a vegetable and nothing they can do. Even if they remove the blood from her brain, she would be a vegetable. My grandfather said she didn't want that and agreed to take her off life support. After that she is breathing on her own and began coughing and covering her mouth. The Drs. said it was just a reflex but to me that's a response. Then she started opening her eyes they also said reflex, but she tried talking which the Dr. keeping saying is reflex. She responds though to touch and words. She has not had any surgery and the blood is still on her brain. The Dr. is waiting for her to die so they have not feed her or gave her fluids. I'm so confused because everything they said she can't do she is doing. Its hard to sit and watch someone die but yet fight for the life by themselves because the Drs. just basically saying its a lost cause. So torn right now.

[mishi211]

can you please tell me any physician or any best hospital where you had your dad treated..? my dad just had a stroke two days ago please help

[butters1954]

washy l feel your pain but strokeis cruel ll suffered a stroke on dec1st 2009aged 55 lhad a100% blockage to my right internalcarotid arteryl'm fortunate to now have regained allcognitive abilities speechisgood lwas told in may of this year l'd never walk again so my wife and l got a second opinion as a result of that l was accepted into a dedicated walking program l can now walk using a forearm crutch and hopefully in the new year unassisted walking will be possible seek a good neuro physio mine has been just so intuitive to my rehab needs well planned and working in a supportive team l'm so lucky be demanding to get physio and ot dailylfound the more stretching and limb move ldid the netter lfelt even you can with other family members do stretching therapy the ot can give you exercises to do or go to google and search for exercises you tube is also good l find hydro therapy relaxing and great exercise aswell cheers frankmelbourne australia  

[nate2811]

i a stroke on the left side that took away the abiltty to driwe and my sense of balance  please dont stopthyiny thhes is in my 60th year ,please do not dive up.every day i see small victores small things to other people but important to myself  i am of the hune and peck variety typest so i have  good use for my backspace key  any one at all is welcome to contact me  or answer me  if i can help then as a stroke victum about my experiances.

[sara12345]

Good for you.  You've got the right attitude to be able to get those victories.  Take care.

Sara

[sara12345]

Just wondering what has happened to your grandmother since you last wrote the end of November.  I could feel your pain.  Please let us know.

Sara

[giddypants]

My 78 year old husband had a massive stroke two weeks ago. We didn't know that is what had happened as he was home alone at the time and just seemed a little confused.  I thought he had taken the wrong medicine by mistake that made him a bit "out of it".  The next day he seemed much improved, enough to drive to the store alone, though when he got home he told me that it had been a mistake to drive as he got lost and didn't know what the pretty red and green lights were for.  We took him to the hospital and he was told that he had a massive stroke in the middle right cerebellum caused by atrial fibrillation that he did not know he had.  He was in hospital for two days and released.  He is already back at work, teaching at the university without any significant damage - Thank God.  He admits that his head feels funny and has trouble sleeping in the same postions he did before the stroke, but he is walking, talking ( he teaches public speaking) driving and cooking so we are feeling it is a miracle. He met with an occupational therapist who said he was amazed at the recovery in such a short timespan and there is no need for further visits.  I am offering all of this as hope to you that life will improve.  My husband is a non smoker, non drinker and swims a mile and half every week.  I think all that exercise was an investment in now.  God bless you, keep hope alive.

[giddypants]

When you hear Amazing Grace he is letting you know he is well and happy in Heaven.