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Dad's just had a massive stroke
Hi

I'm terribly upset. My dad has just had a stroke. He's 72 and is currently in hospital virtually asleep full time. We know that it is caused by a blood clot stemming from Atrial Fibrillation and it has affected his left side (No vision, left arm and leg)

The doctor has painted a very bleak picture which was very devastating and right now at this moment it just seems that there is no hope.

Can anyone re-assure me that if he survives there is some hope for quality of life. It's all a bit much at the moment and the future is too much to contemplate.

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How interesting that you mentioned "over medicated" - my Dad suffered stroke within 3.5 wks of my mother moving him from a 5 star asst living where although he had short term memory loss, he was functioning fully and eating whole foods.......because she had a two sentance disagreement with my husband, this resulted in her using her dpoa to move him to a sub par facility which has been cited several times by ACHA for med mismanagement.  I can't prove it but I am positive (I don't like the timing - he was fine under my care from July thru Feb) they missed a dose of his dilantin.  But ever since, if you catch him at the right time, he is quite lucid and other times when he does talk, makes no sense at all and you just have to go with it......like yesterday he was talking about an ice cream pizza........but the aide had told us well they had given him pain medication at around 2 and we got there around 2:45........I was also a bit concerned that they said they have had his arm in a sling for his dislocated shoulder.........well who dislocated it??  It was not dislocated a month and a half ago.......unfortunately as my Mother is a very vindictive and malicious person, we are treading lightly as we fear that she will yet again move him to a different nursing home and we will have no clue where he is........this is the 3rd time she has done this and I cannot imagine  why the facility does not object in his condition.......does anyone know why initially Dad had a stroke on his left side but as of Easter, he was still able to use his right hand, but he cannot seem to see the TV ??  It is very heart wrenching to hear him talk about how his days are useless so he would rather just sleep seeing he cannot even watch TV - yet he appears to be able to see close up........he started losing ability to do stuff with his right side as soon as they stopped therapy.........I am not even sure he is still getting speech therapy to try to get him on whole foods - and he used to be a chef...........and his hearing is also worse and sometimes when you talk to him, he just looks at you with a blank stare like I see many of you mention - I feel so bad for you - my biggest concern is even though Dad is 86, I know that my mother (was not exactly a true marriage in the sense/Dad was alcholic) is not doing anything or pushing for any kind of therapy and I am at a loss as even though his diagnosis when I was caring for him was senile dementia, she was able to somehow get an attny to get him to sign a dpoa revocation on my husband.......have reported this attny to the Fl bar as from everything I hear, just the fact that he was in one county and she in another should have raised a red flag and attny was aware that he was in asst living and a competency test should have been done............I feel horrible when  I leave him and he is wide awake but just looking at the ceiling - I could tell he did not want me to leave - I am treading lightly as I was unable to visit for almost a month thanks to Mom trying to use her dpoa to bar my visitation until I finally found the owners of the place, called compliance and cited the OBRA legislation of 1987 and then all of a sudden the facility backed down...........it just seems to me that I can hope all I want but I do not have the ability to act on what kind of care I think he should be getting - he is a WWII vet - does anyone know if a veterans advocate would get involved to at least try to get him therapy - I don't think anyone has even checked his eyes?????? Would I be able to ask an independant dr to go in and ck his eyes or would that get me in trouble - I am understanding now more how when my husbands father lost his eye sight why he was begging his wife to give him pills..........I cannot begin to imagine what it must be like to sit there (or lay there as at this nursing home they do not appear to have him sitting much like they did at previous) awake and not be able to do anything............I read many posts on this web forum and they are all tragic.........but I have no idea what kind of medication they are giving him for supposed pain, but I believe he is also on Resirvatol - which is not needed and they both seem knock him out and when he is awake does not speak normally for quite a while............without a dpoa, I feel so helpless in trying to get help for him - I have the same question as many of you - is this any kind of quality of life??  Dad has always been a fighter, but you need some medical help to regain muscle strength and I cannot believe that the nursing home or my mother, would not be pushing for this...........at the very least , she could take him home under hospice ..............but she would not know what to do...........when she found out I had regained visitation, she tried to put a restraining order against me for Domestic Violence which greatfully the judge denied..........
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My daddy is almost 60 he will be 60 in July 4th he jus had a masive stroke an a huge blood clot in the left side of his brain he has been awake a lot an uses his whole body but the doctors say there's way to much damage for him to ever be bk with us like before but he is living in his memory's from the past an cant make sence an they told us we are going to have to find a new way of communication with him an he doesn't kno who anyone is but he was asking where I was by name but then asked if I was a boy or girl I'm a girl this is killing me he told me that he can't stop it while Patting his head an said I can't make it come back an it's not gonna get better that jus tore me to pieces my daddy has been one strong man today he told me he loves me an hugged me it took everything I had left in me not to cry but he is living in the past when him an my momma were still together I'm tryin to find out how long this will last an if its goin to stay this is so very hard to see the man I thought couldn't never have this happen or die at least I still have him I'm goin to do everything I can possible to help an take care of him an do as he made me promise b4 this happend that is to not let anyone put him in a nursing home I promised I'd take good care of him myself I believe my daddy wants to live now as b4 he really didn't now he told me he wants to get better so he can take care of me an my sisters an that that's all he ever wanted to do was take care of us the therapist said to bring his guitar up there an let him play it cuz he remembers that he played in a band an how good he was an he also talks about work does anyone kno if there's any chance ill get my daddy back after so much brain damage from a masive stroke an huge blood clot in left brain?
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You say that they told you that you would have to find a different way of communication with him.  What does that mean?  And it sounds like he is talking to you and does recognize you.  So maybe he is getting better than the doctors or whoever "they" thought.  I think it's anybody's guess how much progress your daddy will make.  Time will tell.

But the love and visits to him are bound to help him.  My mother was given 4 days to live after a stroke, but she recovered her full brain back, was able to walk, and lived for 2 more years. I think that she really hung on because she so enjoyed the loving visits and was given a high dose of anti-depressants.  

There are better nursing homes if it becomes necessary.  I finally found a hospice facility that was very home like and wonderful.  Also, it was a little bit difficult for me to make out some of what you wrote without any periods separating sentences.  If possible that would help.  But you take care.  I'm wondering how old you are and what your life circumstances are to be able to visit your father a lot.  Do you work for example?  Your love to your father means everything.  Keep me posted on how your father does.
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My ex-husband had a major stroke three months ago.  While he is improving, I do not see him ever able to live on his own ever again.  My dilemna;  my fifteen year old son was very close to his dad. We were the first people at the hospital, my son has been a part of every diffucult decision.  At this point, his father is in a rehab three hours away from our home.  We have visited several times over the past few months, but his father makes him feel guilty if we don't visit every weekend.  I am torn between wanting to help my ex, but at the same time, I want my son to deal with this at his own pace.  
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My 81 year old grandmother had a massive stroke on Dec 8.  Just the weekend before we were shopping laughing and having fun.  She is like a mother to me because my parents died when I was very young and she raised me as her own.  I love her dearly and I can't imagine my life without her.  I just had a baby 4 months ago and she was taking care of me when I got out of the hospital.  This was so sudden, a friend of hers passed away and she drove to my work very distressed to tell me the news.  I gave her a hug and told her it would be okay.  She called me the next morning and her speech was sounding funny.  I drove straight to her house put her in the car and went straight to the emergency.   At the emergency I told them that I thought she was having a stroke and they did a lot of tests and the more time that went by the more she began to deteriorate.  They transferred her to a bigger hospital that they said was more equipped to handle strokes and the basically did nothing except blood thinners.  They kept talking about her age and how she wasn't a candidate for anything.  I know that time is a major factor on how fast the brain dies.  It was infuriating because every hour that went by more of her abilities disappeared.  Finally after 2 days into this whole thing she could still sit up and talk to us and was eating pureed foods and then her symptoms worsened and now she is paralyzed on her entire right side, can't speak, can't sit up, and she can't swallow.  We had a feeding tube inserted into her stomach and that guarantees her 100 days in rehab but there hasn't been any improvement in her.  I 'am absolutely devastated!  She communicates with us by raising her finger and blinking. I told her not to give up and she communicated that she wouldn't.  I don't want to let her go but as the days go by I'am starting to realize what type of life she will have.  We have so many wonderful memories together and she is the matriarch of our family, she was so full of energy and I hate to see her trapped in her own body.  I just feel like I'am selfish because I don't want to stop trying.  I'am praying for a miracle her, at least I wish that she could swallow.  
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I would try to get a different opinion than that there is nothing that she is a candidate for due to her age.  That doesn't sound right.  I would press very hard to hear what options would be available if she was much younger, then push for those options.  Could physical therapy or speech therapy help her at all?  Someone else on this site who is paralyzed on one side is getting Botox injections.  Her stroke is also very recent when the most progress is possible--especially during the first 6 months.  I don't know about the swallowing.  I finally learned on the internet that swallowing exercises could help my swallowing after a stroke.  My specialist gastroenterologist had no idea about them.  But I could swallow some.  If I were you, I would push, push, push to get your grandmother some help.  Good luck to you in this very difficult time.
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My name is michelle my dad had a stroke on the 30th november 2012 he is 72 he as no feeling down is left side he can talk to us, all he wants to do is stay in his bed i hate seeing him like this some days he is very bright and some days he is asleep all the time every time he makes alittle progress something knocks him back again . i want my dad back
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I don't understand what you mean by "every time he makes alittle progress something knocks him back again".  Could you give me some examples of this?  It makes me wonder if he may be depressed which can make someone not want to try.  It's very likely that he is depressed.  Most people are after losing so much function.  And if he is taking an anti-depressant, it isn't working.  The dose or the medication needs to be changed.

And don't judge him for needing to sleep so much.  That's part of the healing process.  Although I've needed 12 hours of sleep every night since I had a major stroke which caused 24/7 migraines.  If I don't get that sleep, my migraines get far worse.  And I'm no longer depressed.  I've gotten tremendous help from an anti-depressant--after the dose was raised.

And is your Dad getting any physical therapy?  If not, get it for him ASAP.  The most progress is made in the first 6 months after a stroke, but more progresss is made even years later.  Let me know what you think of my suggestions.  Really wish you and your Dad the best.

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Dad is having some physio but they can only do so much with him as they have just found out he as now got arthuritis in is left shoulder they are trying to get is pain relef sorted he goes a couple of days where i think 1 step of many he is getting there, then now he as a water infection and is quit poorly again i think he is a tad depressed bless him its just hard seeing him like this. thank you sara
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Depression can slow down or impair progress--physically as well as emotionally.  I highly recommend that your Dad go on an anti-depressant.  It can't hurt.
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My dad had a brainstem stroke on the 5th January, he was a fit 70 year old who still worked 50 hours a week, lived independently and was full of life. He has lost all of his left side, could not swallow, can not communicate and is now bed ridden.  The doctors would not give any kind of prognosis as it was on his brainstem. The last couple of weeks has seen some massive improvements. He has had a PEG to feed intravenously so his physio can be progressed as he has managed to stand up (from a tip table) he has now started to have sips of thickened liquid every hour. He is fully cognative but is very frustrated as he can not communicate with me. I have got some communication cards and am going to get a magnetic board with letters so hopefully he can spell out what he is trying to say. I too want my Dad back, he has never been ill in his life and is deeply frustrated by his predicament now. My thoughts go out to all of you dealing with a loved one in this situation, there is light when you thought there was none. Stay positive and try to keep them positive .
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You have a very good attitude that will help your father.  As far as communication, have you tried asking yes or no questions?  Ask your father to sqeeeze your hand once or twice or blink once or twice for yes or no. And give your father plenty of time to answer since after a stroke, it can take awhile for the brain to understand and then to respond.  I know it's not a lot of communication, but maybe it can help.  You sound very kind.
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Hi Sara, yes we try and stick to yes and no questions as he can nod his head, we are trying with the magnetic letters at the moment as he is trying to tell me something and is getting frustrated as I can not understand what he is trying to tell me. Thankyou for your help.
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Yes, your idea with the letters is an excellent one.  Hope that it helps.
Sara
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In my opinion you should never withhold food and water unless the person is unable or unwilling to eat or drink and without a specific medical reason why they should eat or drink. That would be the same as taking air away from a person.
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My 88 year old father had a stroke (left side brain) about 2 weeks back.  I got him to the hospital quickly, and was told what a great chance he had.  Things were moving along, obviously he couldn't speak, but, he was holding my hand and watching me, seeming to listen to our talking.  Once the drs. did a CT scan, things seemed to slow down in which direction things were going.  Eventually moved into Acute Care and would show by facial expression that he knew us and understood what was being said.  He responded to the nurses and dr.  After day 3 he began to sleep, and has pretty much remained in this state from that time.  It seemed I would be the only one to feed him or make sure he got medications.  Trying to get information from medical staff extremely frustrating.  Eventually I agreed to let them put a naso-gastric tube in, hopefully to get more nutrition and fluids into him.  He has now been moved into a single room and left to sleep.  Every day I see him, read books to him, talk, etc.  He does respond to stimuli, but, apparently not always at a convenient time for the staff.  One nurse actually asked me why I was trying to torture him....   I am frustrated at the situation, as he is definately still with us, but, deep in sleep most of the time.  He moves his limbs freely enough, and some of the gestures he would use when he talked still occur when I am there talkig to him.  I am at a total loss as to what to do next.  The staff don't really seem to have much interaction with him, as they seem to think there is no point.  I have seen the brain scan and can see there is damage, but, feel that because he isn't following the 'rules'of others, he will be left to expire.  I plan to continue with my visits, reading, etc. and hopefully get him into a smaller rehab type facility.  I want answers, but, can't seem to find them either by asking drs. or looking out myself.  I do realise that things could go either way, but, believe where there is life and there is life, there is hope.  Can you tell me how things are going for your family member, and do you have any suggestions as to what else I might do?  Wishing you well, regards Lin..
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Did he go brain surgery? Im also asking some help because my Dad also is suffering massive stroke.
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I would definitely try to move your father to different facility where there is more communication and care.  First I would definitely try to find a manager at the facility and ask why the nurse asked you why were you trying to torture your father?  Continued talking to your father is a good idea to help stimulate his brain.  And tell the manager that you need more information.  Is he supposed to be brain dead?  If not, then there is hope.  Good luck.
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Hello nate, my mom had a stroke on 03/16/2013, it hit on the left side she understands us and know who we are, but the only word she says is okay, yesterday she said wow and no, and i love you, she very alert
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Hi, all.  I sit here alone searching the internet for some answers.

My mother-in-law turned 90 years old today.  Yesterday, my brother-in-law found her lying unresponsive on her living room floor.  She was there for at least 2 hours.  Fortunately, we were all planning on going out to dinner with her to celebrate that evening.  She could have been on the floor for days - - -.

Anyway, we live 300 miles away.  My husband went to be with her and the rest of the immediate family.  The doctors did a MRI and told them it may be up to 24 hours before they can come to a conclusion from the MRI?  My MIL is unable to move except a little bit in her left hand.  My husband called to bring me up to date.  When he told her he was going to sit with her, she moved her mouth only slightly.  She seemed to be drifting into sleep and could not keep her eyes open.  She is in ICU; but the only "life support" my husband recognized was oxygen via the nose.

I read on the internet that the first 3 days are the most important.  My husband says everyone is positive she will go into rehab and eventually back to her home (which she told all of us numerous times is where she wants to be to the end).  My mother suffered from a series of minor strokes and eventually died of advanced dementia caused by those strokes - at the age of 90.

Sorry to ramble - it is just that I am worried for her, my husband and his siblings.  I don't want her to suffer and from what I have read here and elsewhere there is pain associated with a massive stroke.  I want the best for all of them and I know that is left best to God to decide.

Thanks for listening.  MMB
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I can understand why you are so worried.  And it must be hard with you living so far away from her.  Yes, God will be the one to decide, but what those around her say to her and do for her will make a big difference.  Wish you the best.
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Hello,

My mom turns 87 next Friday.  She suffered a first stroke in April of 2010.  It affected her left side, however, she recovered enough where she was able to live on her own, with help from an aide for 9 hours a week.  I went by everyday to check with her. make sure she was ok, etc.

In October 2012, she suffered another stoke which was massive.  It affected her speech, her vision and the same left side.  After a few days, her speech started to return to normal.  She did 100 days at a Sub-Acute center where she had speech, occupational and physical therapy.  We had to move her to another facility where she continued PT.  However, I was not pleased with her care and a number of other issues there.  Now she is at a facility closer to my home.  They gave her PT for one week but are now discontinuing because they said that she is not responding to the PT.  They will now do what they call Restorative Theraphy with Range of Motion therapy.  

My mom is very alert, can speak and feed herself, but that is about all.  She has no movement on the left side and her left hand continues to be in a splint.  She is very weak on the left side and cannot stand on her own or walk.

I am wondering if this will be the quality of her remaining years.  Is there any thing that I can do or ask the doctor/therapist to do to help her?
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My Dad is 74 and has had 3 strokes and 2 of them major in the last 20 years. The first one 20 years ago, affected the left side and he was in ICU and they said he was going to die. He had a year of rehab, learned how to walk again with the help of a therapist, and eat and talk and he went back to work, and worked for another 10 years doing manual labor. His left side was never the same and he had the curled hand thing on the left hand. He did not change his lifestyle, high stress, bad marriage, financial worries all the time, and ate terrible and gained weight and let his blood thinners run out! He finally had a major 3rd stroke 8 years ago, and lost the use of his right side this time. He could not talk, eat or move for a month, but he is a fighter. Once again after a year of rehab he was able to talk and feed himself, but never walk again. I moved him in with me and now I take care of him full time. Luckily he can pull himself up and down with a pole in the room and use a urinal during the day and get in and out of his bed for a nap.  I got him an electric wheelchair he can get around by himself, bought a great electric toilet/bidet so it washes him after he goes, so he has some independence and dignity back. I make meals and care for him, but he can feed himself and he wears adult diaper at night but only pees, so that is not bad. He has his own laptop and is on the computer all day, emailing people, watching netflix and he loves to read Kindle books. He doing wonderfully now, he is off the blood thinners and his blood pressure is so much better than it has ever been before. Part of his problem was a stressful marriage to an alcoholic  who is financially irresponsible and tons of pressure all the time. He worked all the time and never took care of himself. Now it is like he on retirement and he has some money to spend because of his social security and he is very happy. Twice we were told he would die or be a vegetable and guess what that is not what happened.
It is up to you to encourage and keep their spirits up and they have to want to get better. New nerve pathways will form for them over and around the damaged areas if they keep working and pushing themselves. It is all up to person who had the stroke how much better they get. Stay positive and do not let the doctors or nurses bum you out. They tend to be very negative I have found until the person starts to get better. A lot of people do die after a major stroke, so that is more what they focus on I think, but I have seen many people get better!
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Hi,
My Dad had a severe stroke (left side) in 2010, which completely debilitated him.  He could not swallow. He could not speak.  He could not move his right side for days.  After about a week following some swallow tests and physical therapy, he was able to get up and go to the bathroom with help.  But his cognitive functions did not fully return.  He had lots of trouble with time passage, for instance, and if he read a book we weren't sure what, exactly, he could read and comprehend.  Eventually he was able to return home after a year in a residential therapy location.  Then last year he had another stroke, and all the work he did in therapy went out the window.  He's currently in a full time facility in therapy again;  he cannot be cared for at home right now because he's a severe fall risk.  His balance took a turn for the worse several months ago and now he can't be at home without full time care.  This is VERY heartbreaking, as my Dad is the Marlboro Man personified.  He reared five kids and worked as an electrician and professional musician his entire life.  As a matter of fact, he was on his way home from a gig with his band when he had his first stroke in 2010.  He has never fully recovered.  His name is Jeff.  And I love him.  And lately he's so tired of the endless rounds of therapy and hospitals;  he's 81, and he's giving up.  I'm heartbroken.
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My mom had a massive stroke on sunday and she cant speak or move her right side tho she scratches the right side with her left hand.dr put her in a rehab nursing home and seems like she is giving up the fight.i dont know if she can recover dr says no she is permanent after an mri.now what both her corotted arteries are clogged totally.and cant have the surgery to fix them untill its been 3 months after her stroke.give me hope plz my babies are hurting and it kills me to see them hurt and not being able to hear my moms voice or see her smile.help me plz im begging i dont want to lose my mom.what can i do....
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I'm sorry to heard about your mom. Just always remember that there is still life after stroke. There are a lot of group discussion and forums focuses on stroke survivors and their families that would be happily provide you guidance.

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My grandma, who's 84 years old had a stroke last Wednesday. We brought her to the hospital  and during our first night at the hospital, she vomited a lot and complain that she have headaches. After that, no other recurrence happen. Her headache was gone the following day but we noticed that she couldn't open her eyes. If we ask her why she doesn't want to open her eyes, she said that she just simply don't want to. I've been reading the posts here and it seems like that situation is really common among stroke patients. However, surprisingly, her memory was really sharp. She knows us, all of her grandkids even the friends that visits her. However, she's left paralyzed on her left side-arm and legs. She had a CT scan and the doctor told us that she has swelling on her brain. They gave mannitol to her and I've read that that will help with the swelling.. But then we felt that the hospital was not really helping her and her doctor was really rude. And also the other day, one of the patient in our room died and so we got really scared. The doctor was not really helpful to us. One of the doctor told us that we can actually go home and just take care of our grandma at home because it's just normal that she sleeps a lot. But the rude doctor is really insisting to us that she'll be put to ICU and that's after being in the hospital for 4 days. However, we just decided to bring her home instead. Now, there's a nurse that's helping us feeding her through a tube on her nose because she has difficulty swallowing. She still sleeps a lot but respond to us when we talk to her. Do you think it's just better to let her sleep a lot and just talk to her once in awhile? We think she looks better now than when she's at the hospital.
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My brother who lives in another state had a stroke about 3 weeks ago. He can't speak or swallow and his right arm is paralized. He can move his right foot a little. I think his left arm and leg are ok, but I'm not sure. He has a feeding tube. We have been talking to his nurse and she says he is alert and aware, nods yes and no, can indicate what he wants to watch on TV.
He has a blockage but they can't operate because his blood sugar is too high. When he arrived at the hospital it was over 500. In a few days they got it into the 300's and I was told that yesterday it was in the low 200's. His wife and sons want to remove his feeding tube because he had said before if he couldn't take care of himself he didn't want to live. He has not been on any "life support" other than the feeding tube. Our mother and other siblings think this is not right because he is alert and aware of what is going on. Mom, who is 87 is leaving next Friday to go be with him and see for herself what his condition is. I've told her to ask him some odd familal questions and see if he responds appropriately. If so, she will then ask him if he wants the feeding tube removed. We don't know at this point if he knows what his wife and sons are wanting to do. I wonder if laws in that state will even allow the feeding tube to be removed in these circumstances. He and I are not really close as he is 13 years older than me but it is still a tramatic situation for all of us. I don't know if anyone has any advice for us but everyones thoughts an prayers are greatly appreciated. His name is Bill and our mother is Mary. Thanks for letting me share.
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Your brother said that he did not want to live if he couldn't care for himself.  He just had the stroke and could make a lot of progress.  Why couldn't he maybe take care of himself in the future? Why is anyone rushing to ask him if he wants the feeding tube to be removed?  It sounds like his wife and children have totally given up on him--just 3 weeks after his stroke!!!  And why have his mother ask him such a question when he must be very depressed after this major event.  And would he understand that to remove the feeding tube would mean death? Does anyone love this man?  He could get a lot better. And if he only gets some better, he might decide with time that he would like to live after all. I really don't understand you at all.
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My Dad had a stroke a week ago. It was a hemorhaggic stroke. The Stroke is on the terminal of the brain. He is still unconcious until now. He is in the ICU. He does not respond to pain. What should we do. We have been praying and hoping that he will wake up.
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That's all that I know of that you can do.  Wish you comfort at this time.
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I know this is an old post but we are in the same place now as you were then. Food and water have just been withheld. Can you please tell me what happened with your Dad? I'm not getting hopes up but it would be good to know. Thanks xx
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My father has had a stroke 5 days on the left side doctors have said 70% of the left side is damaged he cannot speak he opens his eyes and moves his left and right arm has anyone been told this if so what was the outcome
Thanks
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Steve15117, every situation is different with these strokes.  My Mom did not do well with hers... she had a massive brainstem stroke 4 weeks ago and has since passed.

Is your Dad aware of his surroundings when he opens his eyes?  What are the doctors saying in terms of his consciousness?
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Mum had stroke at 80 and is in nursing home.she has a peg feed and doesn't speak, but smiles at us in the right places when we talk to her. It has been three months now. Her left side is affected. We talk to her and read to her and she listens to music and he a TV in her room. We do a bit of physio with her too, as don't think anyone else is doing this. Is there anything else we can do? We brought a window bird feeder for her which she likes...
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as a daddy's girl,watching him for 20 days on videos your aunty sent shows how much you are?700 miles is nothing nowadays with transport?
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Hi, I know its been years since all this happen, but I am currently going through the same thing. My mom went for back surgery on 1/12/15 and on 1/13/15 she wasn't responding so they say she had, had a major stroke. Long story short after several weeks of sleeping and no responding they gave up on her, 2 days later she open her eyes and the after she started making more improvements. So now that she's home she was progressing more but now it like she having several kind of attacks back to back. What I really want to know is how did everything turn out for you. Please give any information you can good or bad. Thanks
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My father had a massive stroke on 3/28.  The doctor said that he would never walk or talk again, although from reading your posts I now understand that this may not be true.  I have a mother and 2 sisters that have banded together to keep me away from him - and may have succeeded - last time I visited with Dad, they verbally attacked me and threatened to call security if I did not leave (yes, all in front of my father who can understand and communicate by squeezing your hand). I chose to say goodbye to my father and let him know that I may not be able to see him again - my mother yelled at me that I could not tell him anything - I told her that he was right there and that he already heard everything - she told me to leave again - I told her he was squeezing my hand so she then yelled at him to let go, to let me go.  I just looked at her in amazement that anyone could be so cruel.  I have since learned that his blood pressure was up for a few days (and other family members were being told it was because of me but seriously, mom did all the yelling and threatening in front of him).  I would like to see Dad but don't want to risk being with him if one of the others come in and start their abuse and upset him - don't know if it would upset him if I never see him again, or if he yearns to see me.  Mom has always guilted me into visiting so as to not hurt Dad's feelings (I did not want to see her & put up with her abuse), but now that he cannot speak she has put down the iron fist and won't let me near him without threatening security.  This is absurd and sickening and I am still trying to recover from the shock of her behavior, let alone Dad's stroke.  What does Dad want?
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My father had a massive stroke 3yrs ago and ive been researching and I came up with ETHANERCEPT CURE FOR STROKE VICTIMS
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my mom died due to lung cancer after six months my dad had stroke twice and its been one year now. We kind of felt he couldnt make it.He was paralyzed,lost his balance in his left part. Slowly he is recovering. He went to physio therapy and lot of medications, he is not like he used to be. His balance is not fully recovered. He stays home,doing nothing. Nowadays he has started talking in sleep. He seems little unusual. I'm always worried. He is so depressed thinking about mom and his health, There isn't any day i'm not worried and i find myself very helpless. I'm staying at home taking care of him.Life is really tough, full of worries and insecurities. I still have a hope that no matter how much time it takes he will recover.
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hi, new here.  I was looking for forums on Stroke patients to share and find out if there are any hopes out there for Stroke victims.  My dad had a stroke 2 years ago and its been a very challenging journey.  He had suffered a massive stroke in the Left Thalamus which has left him paralyzed on  his right side of his body.  Let me start by making a post to a post i read above about Etanercept.
Etanercept (brand name: Enbrel) is for Rheumatoid Arthritis in joint pain approved by the FDA.  Please do not consider this as a hope to treat a stroke victim.  What the consequences may result from using this medication in regards to side effects could prove to be devastating.  An example of it could be Seizures.  Do not go by what you have seen about physicians giving this medication in some state/states as an alternative or a cure, even if it is short term or not.   Anyone who has a loved one that has been vicitimized by Stroke keep in mind one thing~a person keeps recovering from a stroke life long.  Eventually the person does get better but it is a very slow and long process.  My best advice to anyone is:  Get the stroke victim intense/vigorous physical therapy once they have stabilized, if you don't get it at the current hospital, go elsewhere, don't waste time!   Encourage them to try to talk which will help them get functionality back for eating--this goes hand in hand.  Speech can be recovered within a month and half of stroke.  Whatever milestones a person makes is going to be within the first 6 to 8 weeks post stroke.  Hope this helps some people who may be looking for some hope or answers.  My dad does walk in the house by himself now but needs help with everything.  But that is the silver lining.  The doctors had told me before discharge that if his life was not going to worth it 6 months down the line then there were other alternatives.  I asked him what did he mean by saying that.  He said, we could choose to remove the feeding tube that was in him so he could pass away.  Well, I got my father to talk, to eat, to laugh, to stand, to walk.  Don't give up.  God bless to all.
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Good day.
This is one of the saddest day inn my life. After few days of battling stoke, my beloved grand father has passed away. I love him so much. I will cherish all the sweet memories that we had. I know he is in the arms of our Lord in heaven. The sad part is that I will not able to see him for the last time cause Im in abroad and I dont have money to go back home in the Philippines. I will just pray for him. I know also the he is happy and at peace right now.

To all who experienced or experiencing this kinda struggle, keep the faith in God. God offers a reason for everything.  He will never let us down. God bless us all.

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I just stumbled onto this website looking for some of the same answeres as you. My dad is 83 today and had a stroke during his stay at the hospital for something else. It has been 5 days since his stroke and I feel hopeless that he will walk again. your description of your dad just having an empty gaze along with all the other typical symptoms really hit home. It is not the man I know. It rips your heart out cause you feel so hopeless one minute and then hope another just to end up feeling hopeless again.I dont feel so alone in my feelings. Thanx for sharing your feelings.

hairnursemom2
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My mum has just had a big stroke at 60 years old and cannot talk,swallow or walk,so scared too and they can`t get her blood pressure down at the moment
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My dad has a diabeties type 2. It is his 3rd stroke. First one was couple of years ago. He had been sleeping all the time except when he wanted to urinate. After weeks his speech and behavior changed like 180. He became more talkative and tone was changed. Speaks rather slowly. Then after an year he got 2nd stroke. He lost some memories and short term memories got worsened and left arm and leg are too. First he was in hospital at the bed he became more sensitive he felt like he had no hope and everytime he sees his family member he cried. My older brother wanted to let his feeling better as telling good time memories but that made him even more depressed like when he was going to die soon. I noticed that and and thought how to make him more lively and fight to stand back... in my opinion telling him good time memories not good cuz everyone thinks it is because i wanted to cheer him up cuz he had not long days to live instead i talked to him like it was not a serious problem like nothing to cry about. I told and convinced him this can be cured, after your health condition gets better i will take you to us or germany to cure. It is regular or typical common case for them to cure. I told him there is nothing to worry about you will get better by this summer and get back to work. Finally he looked more relaxed and had a good rest/sleep. He recovered amazingly fast he stood up try to walk while holding hand rail. His speech got better day by day. After couple months he can walk on his own but not perfect. He can eat on his own and goes bathroom alone. Even he started to talk with us what business we need to run. Conclusion is it all depended on his own will and belief that he could go back to normal again. Even we thought he could do it too. Two months ago we got him to bee sting traditional medical treatment, miraclously his condition was getting better, blood pressure sugar level etc. Then he got 3rd stroke a week ago. I think bee sting treatment had to have a break to recover some tiredness. Now i am sitting in the hospital corridor feels hopeless cuz this time it is more serious. He is getting worse day by day. He was responsive just after stroke for 2 days but now he seems sleeping all the time and not responsive. Feed by hose urinate by hose using diaper. I am looking for advanced technology to cure stroke through google but no help. He is only 58 yrs old young to die. I hope him to live longer for some years. He deserves it, he is a good man. He is a good father. I cant talk to him cuz nurses and doc dont allow it. That maybe let him think it is time to leave. Love each others when alive!
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These posts are quite old, but I certainly hope your father made a full recovery, and is back to
living his life.
I had a stroke in 2014, and feel pretty fortunate that I had the opportunity to receive the most
up to date stroke treatments. The clot busting drugs did not work on me, and I was transferred
to another hosp, 10 miles away for further treatment. I had a thrombectomy, which I was told was
developed just 5 yrs. prior.
I've always had an angel on my shoulder, but I think the wings were wrapped around me when I
had the procedure, which is quite delicate. It worked wonders for me. A caher is inserted thru the
body to the brain, it grabs hold of the clot, and removes it. Anythign could happen on the way in,
or out.  I am a miracle, and am so grateful to have had the opportunity to be treated this way.
I regained almost full abilities, speech, movement, feelings nearly instantly!!  The doctor that
performed this was masterful, for I suffered no complications whatsoever. It's rather ironic, for
all of this took place around 3AM, and he still had the skill ( and was awake enough!! ) to
handle this without a hitch!!!  Quite amazing.

I tell you this, so that if your father is still not fully recovered, great things have taken place in
the last few years. I still have some residual effects, and am addressing them. I'd like to ask you
not to give up hope.  Discoveries ahve been made that the brain is quite 'mendable' and can
rebound , not just in the first year, but day after day, year after year... We have the chance to
recover fully from our broken brains as time goes on.  Not everyone had the same opportunity,
based on type of stroke, and how soon treated, but I've been reading lately even those patients
can look to improvement never before ever thought possible.

Please hang in there. I hope your dad is doing well. I will say a few prayers for him as well as for
you. We all need to hang our hats on HOPE. It can take us to places we never dreamed.  Don't
give up.
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Hi Jenny, my dad just had a stroke on 7/12/16 and he has lost function of his right side. I feel the therapy he's getting isn't enough but everything revolves around insurance. When did u see your dad first show signs of recovery. My dad in very tired and when he's awake I ask him stuff and he doesn't know much. He can't remember who I am. He's 70 about to be 71. I want to keep my faith strong but it's hard.
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Hi I hope you dont mind me asking how your father is doing? I hope he is recovering...my dad is 70 and had a massive stroke 2 months after your dad which left his right side paralyzed as well and cannot talk...its been a very long hard road since September and I was just looking for some hope...thank you
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Anula, My sister 84 had a stroke 2nd time in 16 months. First one gave her memory impairment(lost reading writing, speaking skills) and she became weak but last 6 months she was walking and eating well. I thought she would get better daily. But she had a 2nd one week ago and she is unable to swallow, unable to talk and right side paralysed. Feeding through (nose)tube, bed ridden and this so heart breaking.
I  was with her for 6 months supporting her recovery and returned to Australia where I live, 10 day after she had this stroke. I will be going back soon again. I am so sad I don't want her to suffer.
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I hope your father is better now, recovered and living his life. Stroke is just a terrible decease. My dad, 70, had a massive second stroke 56 days ago. He was just recovering from a previous stroke four months earlier that left him with mild vision problems. But this time, he firt spent 2 days in ICU, he gone to bedroom he was able to talk and  move in all body, through that week his state started to deteriorate, he spent a whole week sleeping, then he opened his eyes, i talked to him and he wispered 'dear' and hug me, it was his last words and moves. the next day his condition suddenly deteriorated, he was moved again to ICU, intubated, and there he is since then, its been more than a month. An MRI showed he just had a third ischemic stroke that day. It was caused by attrial fibrilaion, just like the OPs dad. Doctors says there is no hope "even if he leaves hospital" he would have severe disabilities, totaly paralysed for life. In these days he had ventilation removed and overal condiion improved. Sometimes he had his eyes opened. sometimes he looked like conscient, a little move in his left arm, moving his mouth, and sometimes he stared in my direction as listening to me. I  swear he could listen. But them the doctors said he won't go much further than that. last saturday his health deteriorated and he was put in a ventilator again. they called us and said it was about hours, my dad would probably die. then, happens today is wednesday and hes still there. his blood pressure just rose. while doctors say he have no chance, they offer us the option for palliative care and let him go. My wish is to save my dad's life anyway. But i know he' suffering. my brothers and mother just convinced me that let him go is the right thing to do.  Today his health deteriorated again, they told   us to call a priest. My father is a very hard man and he's not going easy. his blood pressure is low while heart beats high, his fingertips are blue/ black i know this are signs of impeding death. This is all very sad. To me there is a sense that we are just giving up. Is there really no hope? and what IF there was something??... it hurts so much to know that my dad is dying right now and there is nothing we can do! My dad is a very good man, Im really proud to be part of him, he will be always in my heart.. I have been dealing for months with his evil decease and want to sympathize with all of you who are reading this and are probably caring for your loved ones just like me. keep up on the way. remember there's a great chance of a second stroke so be aware. never give up. And enjoy every second you can with the people you love. God be with you. thanks.






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