Need Encouragement

[Colorado2007]

My husband had a hemorrhagic stroke on 11/22. He was in the ICU from 11/22 until 12/5 and a intermediate care room through today and as of tomorrow, 12/11, he is being moved to a rehab center. He has a feeding tube and a trach tube.The neuroligist gives me little hope that he will recover any speech ability, both speaking and understanding and he is completely paralyzed on the right side. I know it is very early in his recovery and right now the PT has focused on helping him sit upright, and he can only do that with the two people, supporting him. I do believe he does have some understanding of what he is being asked, but it is hard to tell how much. I am really trying to remain hopeful, but I am having difficulty trying to not let the negativity of the doctors wipe out the small shred of hope that I am clinging to. What have others done to keep their spirits and hope intact. Any suggestions would help me greatly, as I am really struggling to put all of this in prespective. Watching my beloved husband go from a fully functioning person to his present state is beyond heartbreaking.

[ecraven]

My ex husband suffered a stroke Nov. 30th, right after your husband. Stay prayful and get you a suport team, it helps. It is difficult and beyond words to describe all that is going thru you in addition to what the doctors and others are saying to you. Know that GOD has the final say, and that is just their medical opinion and statistics and they have to provide you with worst case information to cover themselves. My ex husband had to have is left side of his brain removed to allow swellling and we were told he would be paralzyed on the right side completely. He is now walking with a cain, yet he still has no speech, litte and no movement in his right arm, is is progressing..Keep the faith and keep encouraging yourself and your husband each day..Some days are better than others, i know and understand but if you have faith in GOD, he will see you all thru this either way..Be encouraged my friend..blessing to you and your family.

[Aimee_Maree]

My boyfriend had a severe stroke and was in the ICU for a month, he was in a vegative state for 3 months and one day just snapped out of it. In my course of this I learned to ignore the doctors and follow your heart, they only tell you waht the text books tell them. If you think he can hear you and understand then talk his ear off, keep positive and tell him everythig that is going on in your everyday life because they need some normalsiy. Also take charge with his therapy do as much as you possibly can. I really do belive that the recovery of a stroke patient lies within the people closesest to them. Believe with all your hear that he will be okay and in time I hope he will be.

[vega1318]

Glad to hear you're in a good place.

[Colorado2007]

Thank you all so much for the words of encouragement. It really helps to know that there are others out there who understand and have walked the same path. Today my husband moved to an acute rehab facility and he already seems more alert and responsive, and I felt more upbeat leaving there tonight. He seemed very responsive to the Dr. and definitely nods, either yes or no, when asked a question. He seemed to be much more aware of his surroundings and his body in general. He actually gave me a good night kiss.. All very positive signs, and the staff seem very engaged and ready to start his rehab program with him tomorrow. I will keep you posted as to his progress and will continue to look for updates about how  daddygirl's father is progressing. How wonderful for caregiver to see your 'little one' doing so well, and what a blessing to be pushing 103. Vega, thank you for giving me a benchmark, I will look forward to the 3 month mark. I have also heard from many others that he could continue to improve up to 12 months and beyond. I guess it is a case by case basis, which seems to make the whole stroke recovery difficult to guage. I am keeping my fingers crossed for much improvement and no major setbacks. I will definitely update from time to time as well. Thanks again.

[vega1318]

Colorado:   sorry to hear about your husband, this must be a huge hit to you seeing him this way.   It is hard to know exactly how much damage was done to his brain but if he is otherwise medically stable and out of the ICU, it is reasonable to assume that recovery has started to take place.   Unfortunately, it is hard to predict how much will take place but if he is awake and moving at least one side -- it is reasonable to wait a few months to see if he starts to improve.    Usually, you can see the most improvement by about 3 months or so (considering he is medically ok and there are no other setbacks).    He may improve in his speaking / understanding ability or his strength or both.   It's hard to know.

Unfortunately, the doctors may have already told you that there is a chance he may remain this way or with little significant improvement in the future.   It is true.   But nobody knows for sure.    If little is gained in the next few months, it may be the case that he has sustained more permanent damage than he can cope with...   It is hard to deal with now but should not take away your hope in the next few months.    

[caregiver222]

First of all, your neurologist is on space dust or ecstasy.  It is highly irresposible of him to make such comments so soon after the event. There is no possible way he can make those negative predictions. Second of all, assume your husband understands EVERYTHING, but cannot respond to the input. So the first suggestion I have is to find another neurologist. His "input" reminds me of something that comes out of the wrong end of a cow. While it is possible there will not be recovery, he cannot know that at this stage.  When you say it is hard to tell "how much understanding", assume complete understanding. The inability of many stroke patients to aknowledge verbal input is common. Mylittleone is almost 103 and was happily laughing and riding  on the bus yesterday. Her quality oflife is excellent. She laughs and smiles every day, all day. At age 100 her neurologist told me "to let her die naturally", because she was totally unresponsive to anything. Push the chancre mechanics  to monitor him and come up with a plan to reverse the trach. A trach is generally unnecessary, except for the conveneience of the hospital staff. Sometimes they can be reversed. Sometimes not. Give him lots of  touching, personal love and stimulation.

[daddygirl]

My father is doing the same as your husband (my fathers stroke was on 12/5). He appears very depressed. All I have is hope. I have learned that Doctors do not know it all. After it first happened they told me that he wasn't responding and that I had to make a decision about keeping him alive or letting him die "naturally". I told them I needed to think about it and that I wanted to see my dad first. When I went into his room he was responding and communicating with his eyes. He was definetely responsive unlike what the doctors said. Now he is able to squeeze my hand and nod a little. However, the more aware he is the more sad he is. I too wonder what the future holds. Hopefully, we can get some hope from others who have been through this. You are not alone.