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Personality change after a TIA

My Father has had two TIAs in the last two years. After the first on there was no noteable lasting effect , however after the latest one (November 07) there seems to have been a real change in his personality.

He has become very self centred, not able to talk about anything not contected to him, very negative about people and only looks for the bad in them and isnt able to follow the logic through in converstaions about routes or descriptions etc. Although all these sound quite mild his personality has totally changed and it is now incredably hard to spend time with him.

I am not sure whether I should just accept the above or try to tackle and eductae him about his behaviuor? thoughts?
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Avatar universal
As someone who suffered a T I A due to a bleed, I know it has changed me, I can no longer hold a fluent verbal exchange, my memory is suspect and I have all I can describe as mini breakdowns, crying and depression, my partner left me as I was continuously rude and offensive to her, and the prob is I realize it, but cannot seem to change it, I worry about my mental health at times, and people cannot see my confusion, is this a part of my new life ?
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seek counseling with a neuropsychologist that can help you. the brain can heal,recognizing you have a problem is a miracle. get help
Avatar universal
Wow. In 2009 my 40 year old wife had a TIA. She recovered very quickly physically. About 9 months later she transformed mentally into a different person. She went from being the most positive, caring, unselfish, wonderful partner and mother to a self centred, selfish, argumentative, negative, depressed person overnight. The transformation was sudden and dramatic and she has spent every day since looking for something "better" somewhere else. For example she has started and not finished multiple education courses. She became obsessed about moving interstate to be with her mother and sister. Despite psychiatrists and psychologists telling us not to move, we did in January this year and of course it's not what she expected and now she is still looking for something. She started working in child care, and hated it, blaming everyone else. Now she's trying aged care and hates it. Now she wants to be a nurse. She said joining the gym would help her, it didn't. Now she wants a horse. She completely ignores our 3 children (including an 18 yr old who stayed interstate). She has been on and off various kinds of anti-depressants as she self medicates and refuses to listen to dozens of Dr's. She has some of the symptoms above such as loss of memory and inability to finish sentences yet refuses to accept this was due to the TIA and blames it on what she says has been "20 years of misery". I have asked many many friends and family members to try to reason with her and explain that she was one of the happiest people alive before the TIA but when they tell her she cuts them off. She speak to random strangers in the street, tells them her "story" and when they show empathy (naturally) she uses that as affirmation that she has had "the worst life ever". As her partner I have had 3 years of constant abuse, calls, text, verbal abuse and been blamed for everthing that she perceives went wrong in her life. I stay because I love her and I remember the person she was and because of our children. We have tried everything, many many GP's and specialists, multiple reports, counselling, medication, sought help from family and friends. I took 4 months off work to care for her and gave up an executive position to move interstate. Still every day we never know what is going to happen next and the smallest comment or thought can set of a terrible reaction. She's been suicidal and can often leave the house and vanish for 1-2 hrs. Our children have been terribly affected and I live day by day. Reading this thread has for the first time made me think that all of this may have stemmed from the TIA as I read of other peoples experiences. It makes me angry that no professional has suggested that. Hopefully someone else reading my experience will recognise the symptoms and realise that they are not alone.
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Thank you so much for sharing. your story has really helped me. i hope your life is better now.
Avatar universal
In  2010 my husband had a stroke and heart surgery, then three years of crazy behavior of internet affairs to one for sure affair or more.  He suppose to not do a lot and he likes to change doctors, nurses, offends his therapist on a regular basis.  He is hateful at times, and then bounces back with different attitudes and personalities.  I living with a crazy  man at times.  There is no real physical or emotional trust for sure.  He is only 55 and he blames me for everything that goes wrong.  He thinks he going to die and then off he goes as if he live forever.  I would like him to just do what the doctors say but he is never going too.  By the way he a diabetic which I sure does not follow the diet either.  Its like living with a guy who gambles every dollar and each moment to moment.  No one really wants to bother with him after a few conversations.  He lets them know he has all these credentials and he better than they are.  It confuses me daily.  He only tells half truths.  It makes me dizzy thinking about what he may due next.  I tried to sell his guns but he locked the cabinet and gave me a good lecture about his house and etc.  By the way there is no will so I don't plan on getting a thing but lots of bills after he gone.  I just need to find some peace of mind here.  He isolates me from everyone.  He pulled a gun on my son and my son feels he has to stay to protect me.  I told my son the first chance I get a few dollars saved I will give him a chance to get out of here.  It is sad this situation is out of hand.  I love him but as you see I stuck in a box.  Everyone wants to believe him and I just the wife who has no rights.  More like a slave.  Its just hard to walk out the door not knowing if I stay will it ever change.  I do not know.
Helpful - 1
1 Comments
I hope your situation changed for the better.
Avatar universal
Sounds familiar..as I am going through the same thing. My husband used to treat me like a queen and after 30 years of marriage he "out of the blue" wanted a separation. We are now in the throes of divorce. His moral compass went from great to unacceptable in a matter of months.
I still love him but he is not the same man I knew.   Too bad cause he was a great husband and father.
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Avatar universal
My husband had a bleeding stroke, which resulted in severe depression for abou 3 months.  After a programmable shunt was put in, he felt much better, and was the same sweet guy he had always been.  Then, about 13 months after his first stroke, he had a TIA.  He started fooling around, lying, short-tempered, and just the opposite of the way he was before.  Still able to function at work, but it seems, I took the brunt of his frustration and personality change.  After 35 years, we are in the process of getting a divorce, and I am broken-hearted.  I have to keep telling myself that the man I loved is gone...as my daughter said, "it killed his soul"...I have prayed everyday for him to come back, but it's looking like it's a permanent thing.  I wish families could be made more aware of what might happen.  I knew these incidents would change him, just had no idea they would change him like this.
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2 Comments
I first started reading this and thought did i write this and forget. The dates are different though. Same exact thing happening to me and my family. After 25 years of marriage and 5 children with 2nd grandchild on the way. Our only daughter has stated that she lost her Dad a long time ago. I hope your life is better now. No one or nothing prepared us for this devistation.
I first started reading this and thought did i write this and forget. The dates are different though. Same exact thing happening to me and my family. After 25 years of marriage and 5 children with 2nd grandchild on the way. Our only daughter has stated that she lost her Dad a long time ago. I hope your life is better now. No one or nothing prepared us for this devistation.
Avatar universal
As someone suffering from TIAs your comments all make me incredibly sad.  I am sorry that these situations affect you in such a difficult manner.  Imagine how they must affect the afflicted.
Helpful - 0
2 Comments
I dont know how to say sorry for the damage I cause, I just get an awareness some days that I have been operating on another plane, and I am sorry but, I cannot seem to change !!! this is not me, no more than a nose bleed was, or a sudden bang inside my head leaving me with an untreated headache for 3 weeks before suffering a T I A. But sorry I am.
I have had three TIAs in the last three years.  And I have probably had several prior that went unnoticed.  I recognize the personality change being discussed here.  I have developed what I call a set of markers now that seem to indicate if things are getting worse.  A key one is related to short temper, impatience, etc.  It is very hard to see through it and know what is happening when in the middle.  I think I will need others to let me know.  I know some others that occur generally when I am alone.  I have periods when I feel high stress and then have to breathe as if I am hyperventilating and it makes me feel better.  I also have times, always alone, when there is like this huge emotional release and I sometimes have dry heaves that last several minutes.  I also have periods when I become extremely emotional and will cry for no reason.  It is hard.  I will say each time I have had one of these, I think this is it and I am going to die.  It will just keep going.  It is not scary so much as very lonely.  The thing I can't get over is that I look perfectly fine, and I prefer to be treated the same so I like that.  But inside, it makes me fearful.  I feel like I am a wounded animal that has to keep going.  I need to work to survive but then I just need the rest.  It all becomes so impossible sometimes.
10447298 tn?1410197872
My Grandmother was the greatest for 91 of her 93 years.
June 2006 My Grandfather passed away leaving my Grandmother and Uncle,the 3 of them were living together for several years, my Uncle had CLL 8 years and  knew his remaining time was short, A Dr  from Stanford told him he was dying and nothing further was available. I was with him when he was told this, I was with him for many 8 hour transfusions and draining 2 litres of fluid from his abdomen, I cared for him the last year, it was brutal and my honor.
My Uncle was always a very good son #1 and Uncle #2, He was more involved in my life than my own Father was and many of my contemporaries Fathers as well. He was only 17 yrs older than me and he was an actor throughout the 60's to the late 80's accumulating millions of dollars and homes, cars etc, He repeatedly assured me I was going to be richly rewarded beyond my wildest imagination, that it is no secret he was a wealthy man  and also  that he was a dying man, this always upset me and I tried to change the subject every time, but there it was many times.
He became obsessed with my Grandmothers care after his passing, begging me to be there for Nana and that Nana was going to be a very rich lady , as if that were ever a motivator , which it never was, however life does require money and my care required my sacrificing my life to do so.
I was made promises for consideration of which I provided for years never worrying about the end until  near the end and her erratic behaviors and mind set after the Pradaxa overdose she had.

Feb 2011 My Grandmother was prescribed Pradaxa by her cardiologist,
I accompanied her to this Dr's visit as I was asked to be there for  her  by my Uncle , who was funding the Family trust with over 2 million cash and a home worth $500k which was also promised to me as I was the last  male heir living as well  and had all this coming regardless of my accepting the role of care giver to my Grandmother, yet I did it as I love her and still do despite learning that the last year as she was living with me using me as a personal slave and my girlfriend, promising the world for years, knowing ly altered the trust , even  the B trust  which was irrevocable , yet done with her lawyers oversight! Sudenly people who saw us for years were using my Grandmothers delusins to use her!  A care giver hired from Visiting Angels breached her work agreement and befriended her and lied to her work  going under the table and grooming her to the point of moving her to her home out of a care home fro  a strokes affects!  She begged to be made Health POA which Nana refused yet led me to a fiscal cliff all while using me as a slave  and when the trust was read I saw I was cut out last year  and My SIster who refused  to invite My Grandparents to her wedding and never spent 1 1million  and my Daughter rather than me
My Sister and Daughter were all too happy to see my rightfully earned  and long standing inheritance, not to mention the thousands of unpaid hours my Girlffriend put in allegedly to be paid by my inheritance  which of course Nana knew was no longer existing!  This was so illegal  and immoral  yet  everyone helped her do it to me and had I no attorney I would be broke today!
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Avatar universal
My boss (a Director too) has had a couple of TIA's and we have noticed a definite change in his personality... some short term memory loss, impatient, quick tempered, poor social skills, apathy etc.  It is of concern as a valuable staff member has already resigned and a few others have been upset over these behavioural changes.  Are these personality changes normal and associated with TIA's?  

Do we approach the CEO over this or should we approach the individual themselves?  What are your suggestions in trying to be more understanding or how to handle the situation better before any other good, valauble members of staff leave.    

I look forward to your response.        
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Avatar universal
A while back my mother suffered a TIA.  It wasn't noticeable at first but as the months passed I've noticed that she is the same - almost to the point of paranoyia as well.  She seems more dominearing and thinks that she hss a right to involve herself in my relationship with my children and my husband.  This past week over Christmas my 16 year old daughter asked if granny was trying to start a fight between her and me because of my mom making unwelcome comments to her and I about things in our house that didn't concern her.

I have tried to talk to my mom in the past about things that I've noticed in her personality since the TIA that are of concern and she became very angry with me.  I feel like she doesn't want to admit that there might be something different - it's like if she ignores it then it doesn't exist.

There have been days I wish I could divorce my mom - it's been very difficult.  I certainly have empathy for your situation and hope that you come through this expierience a stronger woman with a happy and balanced life.
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Avatar universal
Hi,

  I can really relate, my husband had a mild left side of brain stroke, a year ago, nine days after cranial stents were placed in basilar and vertibrial arteries...Angers easily, frustrated, memory loss, dwells on what happen to him daily,depessed, he realizes the changes, but can't seem to help it...I have to kinda be careful not to upset him, now..His Uncle had a stroke and actually became very mean and combative he ended up in a nursing home. I am a very positive, upbeat kinda person, so it is hard for me to handle the change, my sunny personality is not appreciated,  so I just try to watch myself and tone it down. We have been married 40 years and now both retired, he can not work due to stroke(also a blow to ego), together 24/7, not good. If he becomes really mean I don't know what we''ll do, so for now I guess we take it a day at a time. Definetly, stroke related and I miss the man I once knew..Take care and good luck..
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Avatar universal
VVA
I would like also share my dad's problem. My dad got TIA on February 2008. It's his first TIA and we all shocked by that. We put lots of special care for him during the first month after-shock, and convince him that he would be alright. Since then, his personality changed. Just like what you've said before. Looking people in negative sides, self orientated. I guess that it was one of the TIA after-shock effects. If anyone could help on how to bring him back to which states he should be act, please comment this. Thanks.. Best to you also Keb1000
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Avatar universal
Hello dear,
I  understand your problem,but TIA often leads to personality changes such as
memory loss and confusion related to performing activities,problems with speech loss or slurred, language, and swallowing dysphagia. Asphasia - difficulty with speaking or understanding.,dysarthria - difficulty pronouncing words,
tendency to be impulsive and a poor judge of one's own abilities and safety.
poor social skills, frequent mood changes, depression or change in personality.Rehabilitation  is the process by which patients with disabling strokes undergo treatment to help them return to normal life as much as possible by regaining and relearning the skills of everyday living. You should spend as much time with your dad as whatever he is doing is not intentional,so he needs care and attention.Also consult an Occupational Therapist to help him to recover soon.
Best
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