need a little hope today

[Linbonte]

My boyfriend is 58 (we met when we were 12 and 14).  On March 22 he went in for surgery to remove a cancerous tumor on his neck (last had cancer 9 years ago and had to have his right jaw replaced with his ankle bone.  Yes, he's amazing).  The caratoid artery was nicked during the surgery,  the cardiovascular team put in a stint.  They continued with the tumor surgery(radical neck dissection) but were unable to get all of it.  They also transplanted his chest skin to his neck for radiation.  After ten hours of surgery, they realized he had a right brain stroke.  After ICU he went to rehab, contracted pneumonia and his heart stopped when they put in the breathing tube (he says he saw his mom...she's deceased).  After a week in ICU with no PT,  OT or speech, he is back at rehab but has not moved his left arm or leg (but he can speak now).  He is the lead  guitarist in a vintage rock n'  roll band and music is his life's passion. Today I was told that when he is transferable by one person (he is 6'4" and 227 lbs), he can come home, even with his feeding tube.  I was suddenly overwhelmed by all of this.  Any hopeful feedback would be appreciated.

[Linbonte]

It sounds like your mom is going through a similar journey.  And you sound like one of my three daughters. Thank you for responding.

[Linbonte]

Thank you so much for your response.  It's just what I needed.

[Spaceystac]

Wow he is amazing, glad that he has you there for his support. But It is important to have support for you as well.
Rumpled has some good advice for you but it helps to know that you have many people out there you can turn to for support. Im sure you will find many people here who are more than willing to offer their support.

My mother's significant other whom is around the same age had a similar surgery to remove a tumor from his neck. They had to remove part of one of his arteries, the tumor wrapped around it so that was all they could do. He also was left with a feeding tube and a lot of other issues from the surgery. His was in February 2009, and he is still in remission.
One thing my mom has learned in this is she played a big role in his recovery. You helping day to day is the world to him I am sure. Wishing you both good heath and positive future...Stacey

[rumpled]

Anyone can understand being overwhelmed. First, make sure that you have a network of help for you and him when you get home - just because he is released does not mean the work is over, Talk to the social workers now about visiting nurses and how to set up the house, rental of a hospital bed and anything else that you are going to need so that at least the physical is going to be taken care of.
As for the mental, it is going to take a lot on the part of every one to keep spirits up and to keep the activity and progress going once he is home. He is still going to have exercises, I would assume, once he is home. It is going to be up to him about how many friends and family he can take, but takes things a day at a time, and make sure to take care of your own mental and physical needs too (ie sleep and food) so you do not get sick. So have back up help.
I hope things go well for you.