So, some may not consider this a big deal. But, to me it is so, I thought I'd share.
If anyone's ever read my post you know most of my "history" for those who haven't, here's the short story.
Abused by my father, kicked out, married a wonderful man, had a baby...confronted my father about abuse, he denied everything...mother calls me liar, aunt thinks I'm in a cult, brothers talk to me but in secret (they're younger and still rely on parents for finances in college) So, tried to go to therapy with mom only...she refuses to have a relationship with me unless father is involved, which I won't agree to. Been in therapy by myself, told I have a past history of PTSD. Which basically means I had started learning to cope with things on my own even before I started therapy.
So, here I am today and happy to say. I feel really great about the way things are in my life. I've finally accepted the fact that I cannot change my mother's thoughts or feelings but only my own. I no longer am consumed by guilt for "abandoning" my mother. Which I now realize was a warped thought on my part anyway. I've become very content and happy for what I do have. A fantastic husband, two beautiful girls,(and another baby on the way!!) I no longer get anxious and frightened when I see a man resembling my father. I answer my door even though I don't have a peep-hole. (I used to be afraid it would be my mom or dad) Although, I miss my family (parents) I know I've done what's best for me and my family now. And that gives me an amazing amount of peace and comfort everyday.
So, even though it may seem a small success to some. To me, it's opened up an amazing new world in which I can be myself and allow others to see me for the amazing person I am and not for the little girl who had her innocence stolen. I still have my moments of depression but, no longer are they so deep I can't see the light of day. And they're becoming fewer and far between with each day that passes!
Thank you for putting this down for us to read, it is indeed a great start to a new world as you said, I found the same thing about myself a couple of years back, ii is an enpowering feeling, you conquered and won many demons that plagued you, can you tell us when that defining moment was, I do believe there is a defining moment when we change our selves and a light bulb comes on,I think it is when we face the fears and accept what happened to us,but determine that it will not ruin all of our life.I love it when we read these success stories. well done
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