closure

Hi,
I lost my son of four months last August. I have recently received the coroners report which i felt asked more question than it answered... His cause of death was stated as unascertainable (pending ongoing investigation). I rang the coroners office and was rudely told because co-sleeping was a factor that it is not a SIDS case. Though all the research i have done show's that my son ticked all the boxes as a typical SIDS case and was backed up by my doctors who said the same.
After many hours researching the topic i found that Western Australia doesn't use the term SIDS any more but for the life of me i can't figure out why! I'm looking for parents in Western Australia that have received the same outcome with the loss of a child.
We all know that SIDS (sudden infant death syndrome) is not a cause of death only a name given to an unknown or explainable death so it makes me wonder why my case is different and what gives our coroners the right to decide to call it something different? And as i read through all the official SIDS statistics i see that there is a huge decrease in SIDS deaths in the last five years... so is there? or is it that they are not counting all these deaths classed as unascertainable.
In the end of the day they are all just words but i feel as though my child should be in those statistics helping to find a cure for this horrible syndrome. And i wonder if i even have the right to use the term SIDS considering his death certificate says other wise?
I would love to hear from others in my situation or just what you think about it.
thank you

[seattlemom2plus]

I am so sorry to hear about your loss and I certainly admire the research you have been doing on this.  I have a 1 month year old so it certainly is a concern of mine.

I do hope you post more about what you have learned.

[Peterbmummy]

I am so sorry to hear of your tragic loss.  I too suffered the loss of a baby aged just 14 1/2 weeks nearly 29 years ago.  I received no help or support in those days, there was nothing at all, so I struggled through.

I'm understanding your deep unrest and sadness concerning what has been written on the certificate.  I never got to see ours for very many years but was told it said bronchopneumonia.  This upset me hugely as I felt it made me think that I had done something wrong, yet he had appeared well hours before hand, when put in his crib for the night.

My doctor. Said he believed it to be a cot death but I was still upset.  However, having suffered a breakdown nine years later, the therapist ordered a copy of the certificate and I was shocked and relieved to find that it ac tally stated the c ause of death to be bronchopneumonia/ sudden unexplained infant death.

Personally, I do believe that overheating is a factor, I had already informed that his temperature control was very poor, either too hot or too cold.  I did have the opportunity of completing paperwork into a study into SIDS a short time after his death.  We were a non smoking household and he was fully breastfed.  After his death, he was found to have a blocked ureter draining from his kidney, but we're told that this had not contributed to his death.

It is so painful to have all these unanswered questions, my heart goes out to you.  Hold on to the knowledge that you are a good parent.

With not having any help to understand and heal, I ended up with bipolar, s tuck grief and eating disorder, I hope that nowadays there is somewhere to turn.  Thinking of you and everybody in this terrible, cruel struggle. The loss of a child in any circumstances is devastating but particularly any sudden death. X

[Peterbmummy]

Call your loss a cot death, it is. X