lost my 1 month year old son on the 13th

this is the 1st site ive turned to but im 20 years old everything went so great i was laugthing during labor, he was sooo healthy.... its only been 11 days since i lost joshua...it hurts so bad... ive been drinking it away most the week... but when i have to be alone and stop hanging with friends it just hurts and hurts... i miss him so terribly bad... i fell asleap with him on my breast in side position... on my moms bed i woke to him not breathing... i tried cpr didnt do anything... called 911... they tried for 38 mins.. and nothing i had never been so happy with him in my entire life.. i finally was useful you know? please women i just need some responses... no one out here knows what im going through.. all this confusion and depression, and then when im out with friends itll be great like old times like the whole pregnancy never happened.. but something always sets me off.. when i wake and realise whats happened but les that two weeks ago i just cry every morning... i miss my lil sweet precious baby boy... are there any sites like this that have live chat rooms? for SIDS?

[sania19]

im so sorry for your loss, hang in there.

[AnnieBrooke]

I'm so sorry.  It's a mother's worst nightmare.  This site is a good one, some forums are faster for answers than another.  If you join the Maternal & Child forum and the Women's Health forum, and then write a journal saying Lost my baby to SIDS as the title, it will pop up on the "Recent Activity" column at the right and I think the ladies will answer.  Things are a little quieter on the weekend than during the week, but a lot of ladies do check in.  

All I can say is that time goes on, and you're right, there will be moments when things feel OK but also (especially when the hormones of pregnancy are to some extent still in your system) moments when you'll just be weeping.  It does feel hopeless at that moment, but the crying is part of the tiny steps forward towards healing.

Please do know that you are useful anyway...you said "I finally was useful," but in truth, there are so many people out there who need you.  

Good luck, time is the only healer.

[tamaralynnn205]

I know exactly how you are feeling you see I lost my 4 month old son to SIDS the very same day as you. Alex was my world he was everything to me. My one and only child and I tell you every single day I cry for him. Beg for some one to wake me up from this nightmare. I have found one website that has been a help . I put a link here for you. I just posted there a few days ago but I have been "lurking" for a while reading what other moms are going thru somehow lets me know that everything I am feeeling is normal. Please take care of yourself I know, trust me I know. how hard it is but all of us that are going thru this need to hold each other up.
http://www.*************.org/c/Sudden-Infant-Death-Syndrome-SIDS/support-group

[Rubytaylor]

The healing process is a very long one, but together we can make it. You really believe that there hasn't been any progress and you don't think there ever will be. But believe me when I tell you that one day you will look backwards and come to know that you have taken steps forward. The other day I surprised myself when I walked outside and felt the warmth of the sun, saw the spring flowers and said "what a beautiful day!". I was shocked, then realized I had made progress and ran and told my husband.
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