by Dazon50 , Aug 30, 2010 03:53AM
I came across this while reaching for healing things this morning:
HOW TO FORGIVE SOMEONE WHO HAS HURT YOU August 14, 2007 3:39 PM
If you have intense anger in your heart for someone who hurt you badly in the recent or distant past, I encourage you to read Tyler's thoughts here:The End Of The Fury
-I can't get over how powerful his last statement is:
When you haven't forgiven those who've hurt you, you turn your back against your future. When you do forgive, you start walking forward.-
I understand and agree with the idea that forgiving others is more about your peace of mind then it is about theirs. You don't have to make it known to the people who hurt you that you have forgiven them. The issue is learning how to transcend the hurt, how to get to a place in your heart and mind where the hurt is no longer holding you back from fully caring for others and allowing yourself to be cared for by others.
Is it possible to truly forgive all transgressions?
How do you forgive someone who physically abused you when you were a child? How do you forgive someone who raped you or a family member? How do you forgive someone who spread vicious and humiliating lies about you? How do you forgive parents who put their own needs and egos way ahead of your basic emotional needs as a child? How do you forgive a parent who left you when you were young? How do you forgive someone who has sucked the joy out of your life through his or her negative, hypocritical, phony, lazy, selfish, and ill-tempered behavior over 30 years of marriage?
I really don't have a clue how you can truly forgive others for any of the above. Maybe complete forgiveness is impossible in some cases. Maybe sometimes, the hurt is so bad that the quality of your health and life will suffer for the rest of your life because you will always harbor some anger towards the people who hurt you. If you are determined to find a way to free yourself of the burden of chronic anger, no matter how badly you have been hurt, there is one powerful and effective exercise that I can recommend.
It's to sit or lie in a quiet place and imagine your tormentors as they were when they were babies or very young children. Visualize these people one at a time, and really take time to feel the realities of their lives as toddlers. Babies are not born with a distinct desire to hurt others physically or emotionally. They are born craving love and protection. Visualize what your tormentors were like when they did nothing but crave love and protection. If you work at realizing how pure and innocent your tormentors once were, you may come to a point where it becomes clear that their hurtful acts as older children or adults stem from their own wounds, from their own emotional memories of being hurt and/or neglected.
If you know of another effective way of bringing yourself to forgive people who have hurt you badly, I would really appreciate you sharing in the comments section below. Your thoughts on this topic may eventually make a significant difference in another person's life.
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