Support for Family Members and Friends of Addicts User Group
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This forum is for people who are trying to help family members or friends with their addiction problems. It is a way to share experiences and to exchange information related to your experiences with helping an addict in their recovery efforts. It is also a place for people with addiction (alcohol, drugs etc.) issues to ask for advice and help.

Founded by Tab57 on July 17, 2010
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Need Help

I am the father of a 19 year old girl.  I don't know where to begin. We reluctantly sent our happy seemingly well adjusted daughter away to college two years ago. She has been attending college in Ithaca, NY.  Since then, there have been marked changes in her academics and her attitude towards us.  We have been strict but supportive and loving parents.  She came home from school two weeks ago and actually made up an excuse to go back to Ithaca -within two days of her return home. She was there several days.  We found this odd but accepted her explanation.

When she returned we confronted her about something she had lied to us about and she exploded with a string of profanities and got her belongings and left our home threatening never to come back.  When we have been able to talk to her she has told us that we'll never see her again, that she doesn't want us in her life and speaks to us like she has never spoken to us before.  This behavior is so incongrous that we are left with the suspicion that she may be using drugs and may be at the early stages of addiction.  Here are some of the symptoms we have observed - maybe someone can tell us if we are on the right track:

Trouble sleeping, easily angered, drastic personality change, is drawn to Ithaca where her friends are, doesn't associate with her local friends, has become a liar, accuses us of being horrible parents (she has never experienced any physical abuse from us of any kind - not even spanking as a child), she doesn't return calls from us or her siblings.

When she stormed out of the house two days ago, she would not return our many calls and text messages so we used a feature that our cell phone company offers and were able to track her via her cell phone to Ithaca, NY.  She found out and texted and called again using the worst possible profanity and hostile tone and threatened to commit suicide to get even with us - wow.

She doesn't seem to be having psychiatric problems, there are no overt signs of paranoia and she has a clear grasp of reality so she's not psychotic.

We are desperate to help her but she rejects us at every turn.  We have our suspicion that this may be drug related but don't know enough to determine whether this is the case.

Any help or insight would be greatly appreciated.  The possibilty that we may have lost our daughter is beyond heart breaking.  We feel helpless because we're not sure what's going on and we have no clue as to how to approach this.

1 Comment
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Avatar_m_tn
Hi,

Since she is away from you it would be very difficult to determine if she is using.  The signs sound suspicious.  I have been living with a prescription pill addict and know the signs well.  Here is what I think is the giveaway - that is very close protection of purses or bags etc.  Most people won't mind leaving a purse or handbag out of sight.  If there are pills in the purse then likely she not go anywhere without it and will always have it in sight.  If you pick it up and say, that's a really nice purse, watch what happens, it will be snatched from you before you can blink and eye.

Prescription pill become more important that anything....anything.

Please keep us posted...
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