TTC Over 40 User Group
Feeling so down and hopeless today....
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support group for women who are trying to conceive or have conceived a child over the age of forty

Founded by naturschld on October 1, 2009
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Feeling so down and hopeless today....

Hi Everyone
I'm 40 and just finished my first unsuccesful round of clomid.  I know it's just my first month with clomid but today for some reason I am just feeling so hopeless.  Every thing I read.....every where I look.....such low statistics of pregnancy over 40.  Although the clomid worked and made me ovulate and release an egg......and my FSH level is good for my age....I just have this feeling of "knowing" that the road will be so long and difficult with a very real possiblity of no pregnancy outcome.
I'm sorry to post such a negative post.....but I'm just feeling so hopeless.
My fertility doctor gave me the success rate percentage for IUI and IVF and it's so low :(
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10 Comments
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961574_tn?1402509153
Boy, did you come to the right place!!!!  There are sooo many of us over 40 trying to concieve (conceive) on here!  And some who aren't over 40 have been trying for a long time too. I've been on and off this train for 7 1/2 years!!  
You and your Hubby will find your way though.  It gets tough, it gets depressing, it gets hard... but... it will just make you appreciate it more when it does happen!  
My DH and I are using Donor eggs and are hopeful they will work.... But even so, I am still on my 3rd transfer.  I test on Friday to see if this one worked.  My first one was successful, but I miscarried due to problems w/my uterus.  The second one was a BFN....

The best advice I can give you is... just decide you are going to follow this through and follow your heart.  Turn to the woman on this site.  They will laugh with you, cry with you and lift you up when you need it the most.  They are a reason that keeps me from quiting.  

SSBD to you and I know you will reach your dream of becoming a Mom. : )

Melissa
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1021834_tn?1379295900
I'm almost 42.5 and I worry about it too.  Everything out there seems to tell you how hard its going to be.  But then they said it would be so hard after like 35 and I had my first at 39 with no problems.  Also 3 friends who had their first at 39; not one of us had a problem getting pregnant and the babies are healthy.  40 is not that much older.  And I keep running into old classmates who just had a baby or know someone else our age that did.  It is way more common now days than you'd think.  Plus the number of women over 40 having abortions is up there with the youngest age group; not a great statistic, but it proves that they're getting pregnant.  I was an oops child and mom had me at 43.  I always said I wouldn't wait that long; but I guess that might not happen.  Instead of putting that time limit on it; I should just let go and think that I've got a few years to try yet.  My mom didn't hit menopause until 56 and they say that as long as you're ovulating you've got a chance.  Do you know what age your mom was?  I've also decided that one way or another; I will have one more child.  Whether that ends up with me going natural or to IVF or adoption; it will happen.  Like Melissa said, set your mind and go after it.   Just start asking around and you'll find other women who've been successful in their forties.  This helps perk me up.  If they did it, we've got a chance.  Sending positive thoughts your way and crossing my fingers for all of us!  SSBD!  Linda
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1217293_tn?1406773086
I always appreciate reading post like all of yours.  I stopped taking the pill at 38 and just thought I would get pregnant without really trying.  I had my first FSH test at 38.5 and found out it was a little high and after all those tests, started fertility treatment at 39.  Now I am turning 41 this June and still no baby.  It has been hard. I get depressed a lot, but my husband tries hard to keep up my spirits. My grandmother had my mom at 39, so I always thought It would be easy to get pregnant.  
I think what makes me upset the most is fermara (like clomid) made me gain weight and I had to buy new clothes.  I wouldn't mind the weight if I was pregnant, and now after 13 cycles of drugs, and 6 IUIs the doctor told me that I am not going to get pregnant.  
Well, I am reading everyone's posts, and I still have hope.  Thank you all for sharing, it always makes me feel better that I am not alone.
Risa
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202380_tn?1267910566
hi,I'm 43 and I got pregnant 3 times after the age of 40.First pg-all fine-but I lost it at 5 months due to a badly performed amnio,second pg delivered naturally my wonderful dd,third one resulted sadly in a blighted ovum.Well,yes ,these pregnancies were ''assisted''through ivf,because like you I got married late and felt I had no time for fooling around..But I know quite a few others who succeeded with IUI's..Now I'm trying again for #2,and although chances are lower,I say ,who knows I might get lucky! Go for it,try your best for a period of time,a baby at a more mature age is such a delight and happiness!And we're not talking about miracles,these days tons of women over 40 fall pg.... I wish I was 42!
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Hi Nylena,
I wish I had the choice to do IVF.....I guess I do....but I live in Canada and IVF is not covered so we have to pay 10 thousand dollars for one treatment.  Did your very first IVF treatment result in pregnancy?
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Hi there,  thank you for your reply.  What kind of fertility treatments have you had done so far?
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1057195_tn?1289366929
Hi, I am 43 and finally got pregnant this year. We have been trying for 5 years. I had to use donor eggs but I am very happy with that, our baby is our baby. We have been through the bad and the worst time trying to get pregnant but, it was all worth it. Please don't give up. I wish you the best of luck!
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1068361_tn?1290631759
Try to stay positive, though I know that's easier said than done. It will happen for you! How long have you been TTC? My understanding was that its only been a short time. I too was concerned about not getting pregnant the first try, but try to remember it may take a few months even up to a year for young couples.

My OB/GYN told me almost all the women trying to get pregnant in their early 40's will get pregnant, it will probably just take longer.

There are soooo many inspiring stories on M/H forums, so many women have happy endings! Stay strong, don't give up! And stop looking at stats, I did!

All my best, Christine
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1217293_tn?1406773086
I tried clomid first for two cycles, but got a headache so I switched to fermara.  
Out of the times I used fermara which was around 11 cycles, some of them I had the HGG injection when I was at peak on my monitor and did a total of six IUIs, some with injection, some without, followed by using prometrium that was another tough drug to take for my system.  Prometrium makes you feel pregnant and delays your period, so you need to take a blood test to see if you are pregnant, and if you aren't, then you stop taking it. If you are pregnant, you take it for 10 weeks.
I did have some month where I did not take the drugs because they made me really emotional, so I decided to take breaks here and there.
My FSH level is too high to do IVF.  It has ranged from 18-20 when I had it done with my regular doctor.  I tried for a second opinion and my FSH was double that test?  Seemed strange that it went up so high in so little time.
Since you said your FSH is a good level, you should try doing an IUI since you are already taking clomid.  Many people do get pregnant on clomid, so you have a great chance of getting pregnant.  Keep me posted!
Risa
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760556_tn?1255708681
I am 42, will be 43 in September and feel that this is my last year for the possibility of having a baby without going the donor egg route. At 41 I tried a full round of IVF with 5 embryos transfered with no success.. I had decided that the cost (my insurance does not cover fertility)  and the odds of getting pregnant was just not very good. I decided i was going to go on an IVF vacation to Prauge to get a donor egg. When I emailed the woman who does the IVF vacation she told my I would be one of the youngest she has taken to do a donor cycle. I decided that maybe i should try one more time before I turn 43, so i went to NY to do mini IVF. I just finished my last stimulation round of 3 mini IVF's. I am only stimulating and retrieving but not transfering. I decided at my age I wanted to get those babys out before they get any older!! After 3 stimulation cycles, I only have two 3 day embryos and one 6 day blastocyst.  

I will be having laproscopy & hysteroscopy next week to see if there are any problems in that area and then back to NY to get them transfered.

I wish I had done the mini IVF instead of the full IVF to start with (It is cheaper and much less stressful). The object of this center is quality not quantity that is why I only have 3 embryos after 3 cycles and each cycle I produced at least 5 eggs. They use clomid and very little meds to do the stimulation.
I wanted to mention that when they use clomid on women 40 and over the uterus does not respond well, that is why they stimulate you with clomid but do not transfer until your next cycle, when the uterus is back to normal.
It is very hard to stay positive and hopeful but there are so many good stories out there to help us move forward.  I believe one way or another if we really want a baby we will get one!!
Stay strong and good luck to everyone!!!
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