Ok was just wondering where we all went. I'm still trying to conceive and I'm 44....still not sure how I'm going to get PG. I have my TR date, Sept. 17th. I also called Shady Grove( thanks Mel, u know who u are! Lol) maybe the donor shared risk program, for any of you out there, I have researched donor eggs, really crazy expensive, but Shady Grove has a program that includeds meds, donor fees, you share the donor with 2 other couples, 1 try is 14,000.00 and no refund, but 29,000.00 for 6 fresh tries and unlimited frozen and its100% back if u don't bring home a baby...Super Sticky baby Dust to All Of Us
I am new to the group. I am 45 yrs old, having a TR in January 2011, FSH 15.5 on day 3 of last cycle. I was told by the dr that is doing the TR that he couldnt give me any guarantee of a baby but it was possible, but not high probability with 15.5 FSH. He suggested maybe IVF and donor eggs but my husband and I KNOW we are going to get pregnant.
I am going to the health food store tomorrow and get some DHEA and wheatgrass pills. I still have regular periods and I do feel very slight cramp on right or left side at time that ovulation should occur. I have an ovulation detection kit and a basal thermometer chart. I am waiting for my period to start those 2 things.
Any help at all will be greatly appreciated. Thanks ladies and I pray you all conceive asap!
good luck with your TR, I am on my 2nd cycle since we got the go ahead to ttc. I haven't taken anything, I'm using a ovulation monitor. It seems to to take the guess work out of ovulation. I'm 44, my fsh was 7, but still no guarantees.
Good luck and SSBD
Hey ladies, I was reading your posts. I just wanted to give you all some hope. I have been on these boards for geesh....about a year and a half. I'm 43 y/o myself and ttc since I got married in April 2009. I just wanted to let you all know that good things can and do happen. I am currently 17 1/2 weeks pregnant, after a year and a half of trying EVERYTHING under the sun. I've had 2 m/c's and have felt that deep dark depression that some of you are feeling. I have signed onto these boards every single day since I joined it in 2009. There are days where I felt like I was the ONLY woman "not" getting pregnant. I was happy for everyone but yet so incredibly sad for myself. I know where you are, I know how you feel. Its a tough tough road to walk down at our age and I couldn't help but feel like my body was failing me no matter what I did.
I started doing acupuncture...sometimes with herbs, sometimes not. My acupuncturist was from China and was our states leading fertility specialist in acupuncture. I got really lucky finding her. I went once per week.....I know...very expensive, but at my age, I pulled out all the stops and changed my budget in so many ways to do all this. I also was seeing a fertility clinic and had a great RE that agreed to be brutally honest with me and tell me where to spend my money and when for the "best" chances. I took femara on CD 3 - 7 and gonal-f injections on CD 5 - thru whenever they told me to stop and take the ovidrel. My FSH was at 13 when I first started this process at age 41, but I did have regular cycles and the OPK's did show that I was ovulating. I never had FSH checked again because that was one of the things my RE told me not to waste time or money or thought on it. FSH is only a guideline guess. There IS NO way to change how many eggs you have left, you just need to make the BEST use of the ones that are there and keep your body systems healthy, which is supposedly what acupuncture does. Don't concentrate on your FSH number or spend money to lower it, it really won't change anything even if the number changes, you CAN'T grow more eggs and you CAN'T change the quality of them. The key is to keep your bodys system healthy and regular with a good diet, good exercise and acupuncture if you believe in it, because this IS something you can change and it may just work. My RE told me that I probably was going down in egg quanity and quality, but that didn't mean there weren't a few good ones left. We tried for over a year, had 5 failed IUI's, but amazingly enough...all the times that we tried on our own with the meds and acupuncture....I got pg. Now I lost 2 of those babies due to chromosonal issues, but for me....the IUI's didn't work...can't explain why cause statistically you have better chances with that.
Finally, the depression was getting to me and I was sure that I had no more good eggs. We started looking into the donor program and actually selected a donor. My dh wasn't "all on board" but he knew that the depression was changing me and we needed to move on to our next step. I was currently taking the meds and made the statement that this would be our last cycle of ttc. I went in for my day 10 u/s and was told that my lining was very very poor....3.8, I had a large cyst on my right ovary (39mm) and that I had 2 follicles on the left. My RE couldn't even give me a good positive face about the 2 follicles....he looked really sad and said....I don't think its going to work this cycle.
I went home, threw away all the meds, cried my eyes out and said....okay, we're done, we are going to do the donor egg route and move on with our life. I'd spent too many months hoping and trying and waiting and losing, all for nothing. I waited 2 weeks for AF to show her ugly face one more time..........she never did. When those 2 pink lines appeared, I was THE most shocked person in the world. On my very worst cycle, I got pg! I then kept saying.....I'll lose it just like always, but that day has never come yet. I had CVS testing done and its a healthy little boy. Everything seems to be going absolutely perfectly, and I'm amazed and stunned and blessed every single day.
I know where you guys are and I truly truly know how you feel, But DON't give up, DON't....there ARE success stories out there and I'm one of them. This can and does happen for women our age, don't lose hope and don't lose yourself in this process. I almost did and when I look back, I wonder why. I had a beautiful 8 y/o daughter, I had a wonderful supportive husband, all of us were healthy, why was I losing myself in depression? You are all beautiful, wonderful women, don't EVER forget that.
I have to add my opionion too...LOL..I believe that as long as you stay positive and just live things will come your way. I had a TR on Dec 09 waited 3 months ttc . In June found out one of my tubes was blocked , started Clomid and I got Preggo the end of Sept. Sadly she stopped growing at almost 6 weeks. But here I am again TTC...Good luck and never ever give up...
Thanks so much ladies, I know that not much will make the ttc journey any better, no matter what I or anyone else says,nothing except getting that BFP will make you feel better. But hopefully it will make you appreciate yourselves just a little bit more today, cause you are beautiful, strong, loved women by everyone in your lives.
I do think that alot of getting pg IS in our own power, whether its positive thinking, or not stressing, however you find that peace inside yourself, that's what we need to find.
I am a 49, soon to be 50, yr old who has been trying to get pregnant for the last 3 yrs... I have had some of the tests and the results told me that I am not in menopause yet nor in pre-menopause... When tested for estrogen, every thing was right where it should be... Later tested for progesterone and found that I had close to none when there should have been at least some... Doctor told me that she believes I was producing little to no progesterone and that have been why I have had 3 chemical pregnancies over the last 3 years.
Until 2003, I was classified as very obese... weighing over 500lbs... ON June 9, 2003, I had gastric bypass surgery... I lost about 210lbs over the next year... I also did a year of addiction treatment within my spiritual path to address my food issues... The healing process helped me to lose another 80 lbs... Crisis struck and old habits came back and over a 3 year period I gained over 150lbs back...
Another crisis and I am out of work again... I was gaining weight again, when I watched a movie on Netflix called the Beautiful Truth. Its about a 16 yr old that loses is mother and his father takes him out of school to home teach him... He has a project to complete and must keep a journal and present a paper and project to "pass". The son chooses to research the ****** Project. The ****** Program is about a man who discovered a cure for all kinds of illnesses and disease by changing a person's diet and eliminating all processed foods and MSG/preservatives. Basically they began to eat RAW foods.
This interested me and I then as I tend to do, went into research mode... (Hethir we have that in common)... Without making the decision to "GO RAW," I began to add more and more fresh vegetables and fruits to my kitchen and eating habits... I did more research and since I was still trying to get pregnant began to do research on if the 2 were compatible... and low and behold, they were... There were some cautions that needed attention once I became pregnant... but what I read on various sites was that eating raw would help in a number of ways...
Most of the sites talked about the advantage of losing or gaining weight... if that was an issue... and as identified above.. this was indeed an issue for me... I have been on a number of diets over the years that had raw food incorporated into the diet but NONE of them told me to not use sugar substitutes - because they cause cravings and mess with the hormonal system. None of the diets told me that heating food over 118 degrees destroys more then 50% of the nutrients and "live" energy that is contained within that food. None of the diets informed me that processed foods contain ingredients that would make it hard to stay on them... like MSG etc... (in a previous time and in previous research I found out that MSG - once identified to cause cravings and other negative reactions in people - was being renamed and still identified on the label but not as MSG.
The other factor in going raw was that it could increase my chances of becoming pregnant... not only for the weight loss but because I was removing things from my body that may be causing issues with my reproductive system... I was not, by far, drinking enough liquid and my body - from other signs - was at a very acidic PH level... Eating RAW helps balance the PH level in your digestive system ... That in-turn helps to balance other systems in my body... Which is part of the goal!!!
Side Note: During the time I was really obese, I had amenorrhea (absence of period/ovulation, etc), one of the doctors I saw that understood my desire to become pregnant at this late stage in my life said that this might bode well for me as I may have access to all the eggs I didn't use then, now when I wanted them the most... Hoping that this is the case and that this WHOLE process gets me to my dream...
Over the last 3-4 weeks I have basically transitioned into eating raw... I am currently at about 75-85% raw on any given day... and since this transition has started I have lost about 15lbs... and per the doctors that in itself gives me a 15% greater chance of getting pregnant...
Thru a friend on this website I heard about Natural Fertility.com and the herb Tribulus...again I then as I tend to do, went into research mode... and discovered Vitex, Tribulus, Wild Yam root, Maca and various other herbs that help with... what my doctor called estrogen Hard balance in my hormones...
Over the last couple of weeks I have also begun to walk again and take my dog for a walk about every other day for about 45-50 minutes at a fast pace...
I started taking Vitex on Oct. 22nd... somewhere around that same time, I added back astragalus for increased energy... I have stopped TTC about the end of Sept., beginning of Oct. for a number of reasons including the process of getting things balanced again... I have ordered the progesterone cream for use after I ovulate... and also added the Wild Yam Root to support my body's processing of the added progesterone... I am hoping that between the jump start of Vitex, adding the Wild Yam and then the cream, I can get my system back in balance and be one of the few women over 50 to give birth...lol
I am currently on CD11 and added Tribulus on CD5 to assist with ovulation... I started testing yesterday and things are ok... I will continue to not TTC until sometime in January... hoping that I have lost more weight and gotten things better balanced... so that when I do get pregnant and I believe I will... I can maintain the pregnancy and be another success story...
So I now take Vitex (5caps in AM), Tribulus (1 tab x2), Wild Yam Root (1 cap x3), Astragalus (3 caps x2 prior to 3pm), Multivitamin (chewable - 1 cap x2), Iron (chewable - 1 cap x2), Vitamin C (2 - 500mg tab x 3), Omega 3 (3 cap x3) and RAW Calcium (3 caps in PM just prior to bed).
I start the day with 27oz of room temp H2O followed by 16oz of lemon H2O and then another 27oz of room temp H2O. I then drink an herbal organic pregnancy tea (16oz) to drink 4 more containers of 27oz H2O... All water is reverse osmosis... working on making the lemon water from fresh organic lemons... but that can be expensive... (If you didn't know ... the lemon juice helps to balance the PH in the digestive system...
A good friend told me that I look and act like a 35 yr old... I told her I am not sure that is a good thing but then she said that gives me 15 more years to try and get pregnant until I reach 50... LOL I don't feel like I am soon to turn 50 so I guess that all matches... Hoping it all stays this way and gets better...
This may be more info than anyone expected or as I am hoping just enough... I am planning a shopping trip to add to my on the shelf - in the pantry items on hand ... based on some of Hethir's suggestions... I'll keep everyone posted as to the outcomes and issues that occur over the next couple of months...
SSBD to all of you who are TTC... (Super Sticky Baby Dust)...
Hi honey thanks for the info very much appreciated.Just didnt know much about it the only thing i knew was that it was for breast cancer or something.Was maybe going to ask my doctor about it but now ive decided not to.Im giving up all this TTC stuff as ive had enough cant take any more of it all.Wish everyone the best and SSBD Bev xx
Alexis....Thank you for you story...it gives all of us so much hope.
I have been trying for the last 3 years and consulated a fertility specialist over a year ago. I have had 2 failed IUIs and 4 failed IVFs. Like most of you, I am doing acupuncture and believe it does wonders.
I am taking a 2-3 month break before my next IVF just because I needed to find myself again. I got completely lost in my obsession to get pregnant and was reaching a point when I considered myself depressed. I didn't have anything else to look forward to and felt like a real failure. I needed to take a break and take a few steps back to look at the whole picture again.
Now, as I approach my next attempt, I feel like a different person. I feel more positive and more in control of my thoughts and my feelings. I was wrong to obsess and to try so hard. I know it is beyond our control and it a natural reaction, after so many attempts and so many failures....but it is an awful place to be in. I am sure most of you can relate to this...feeling alienated and so "inward".........
I agree that one of the key is to stay positive and to continue to believe. A book I read stated, when your mind believe you can get pregnant, you body follows. I read or hear of miracles almost everyday, but stopped believeing it could happen to me.
Now, I have put aside all of my books, and vitamins and supplements. I am only on DHEA, Omega 3 and Folic Acid. I eat healthy but no longer obsess. This is the only forum I go to. I exercise because I enjoy it. My husband and I have found romance in our life again, and the passion is back in our lives. When I look in the mirror, I see my old self. I feel young (and sexy!) again! Yes!!!! Not the same person who felt her body was old, her eggs were old etc etc etc....I find myself laughing more...the first few times...I was quite surprised to hear myself laugh...it seems such a long time ago that I felt true happiness...and it's a nice to feel it again.
Everything happens for a reason...and I believe it's just a matter of time before I get pregnant, and get to have a healthy pregnancy....I feel blessed to have a wonderful husband who was always there for me, and wonderful people in my life who kept me strong. You guys continue to motivate and inspire me....
Thanks to all of you for your positive posts...and to those who are struggling, hang in there.....believe that it can happen to you. Try to find the right balance in your life, as I believe its the key.....sometimes letting go (of worries, control, thoughts etc)...is the key...
Futuremama-well said honey think we all agree with you.I was thinking just the other day about how i have changed and let the whole TTC thing take over my life,affecting my relationship to the point where we nearly split.Thank god we didnt as it took me 39 years to find him and dont want to lose him.It makes you think about your life and your right we need to be happy and laugh and feel happy inside then surely everything else will fall into place like getting pregnant.Sending all you ladies my love and best wishes Bev xx
Thanks for the lovely responses...it makes me feel better knowing I am not the only one who went through the phase of losing myself.
bevfly - there was a time when I looked in the mirror and didn't recognise myself. Not only because of the weight I gained over the 4 IVFs, but because I didn't have any more life in my eyes....It's as thought the light within me was switched off....as for dh, I had to stop and think when he reminded me that he was always with me and he was grieving with me at every negative result and chemical pregnancy. I realised that I was also shutting him out.
We somehow stop counting all the wonderful blessings in our life......It took me a while to get it...that despite everyone telling me to take it easy and not to let the stress over take me, I was very stressed internally although outwardly I appeared fine. I thought I was calm.... It wasn't until I really looked inwardly, deep deep inside myself that I realise I was actually a mess....I have lost ALL confidence in myself, I didn't want to meet anyone, and that I was ashamed of my failures.. and that everything in my life was about getting pregnant!
Life shouldn't be like this. It should be about living, and embracing all the wonderful things in our life, no matter how small. It's about being happy and contented....now my philosophy is that my life is full, my cup runneth over...and anything else is a blessing...
I am so blessed to have all of you to share this journey with me...SSBD to all you lovely ladies...
Well said! I'm so touched by your words, while reading them I realize you were me. Thank you for reminding me of the true blessings I have now and I must recognize them! I'm glad you have truly opened my eyes!
Me too! 5DPO. We should start a pool to see how long I can wait to test. lol! If I make it to 10DPO, it'll be a miracle! I purposely have no tests in the house, though. How many DPO are you? We must be pretty close! I pray this is your month! SSBD! :-)
Hello again, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. Just wanted to let you know we decided not to wait and this cycle used Gonal-f and iui with trigger. We are currently 2dpiui. I pray all of us get our wish for this joyous NewYear.
Love hugs and Baby Dust,
Oh my gosh Melanie, I am so excited for you!!! Do you have a tracker?? Are you temping? I'm going to go check.... I hope so because I want to watch your progress. I wish you all the best and hope so much that you get your BFP before the new year!! What a blessing that would be!!
What is nice about temping is we can see AF coming before she is on the way! See temps start going up after ovulation (over 98) and they stay up if pregnant. If you see temps starting to drop, AF is on the way in a day or two. It just gives us some more information. Your temp should be up since you are taking progesterone.
I talked to you once before . I had to have laparoscopy for my blocked tubes. Now I had it done but unfortunately they were able to open only one of the tubes. My question to you is how long after your TR you started TTC. I have first AF today after my tube surgery. do you think i can do ttc this month. any other suggestions from anyone else for positive results. Oh and I am 45 years OLD and no kids so far, have tried 3 IUI, 3 IVF all failure...my RE is the most discouraging DR on the face of this earth....so I had to go out of country to have my tubes open.... BD to all
Hi ladies, new to this forum, but feel like I can only talk to people who are going through the same thing as me. I am 43 and TTC for about 6 months. I was completely delusional and thought that all I had to do was try - so much for that. Went to RE and was told I needed to pass some tests before Insurance would cover infertility treatment. I passed (FSH 6.3), but only have 5 months of coverage. This Thursday I will have my LAST diagnostic test (hysteroscopy to see if I have a small fibroid in my uterus). I think of the 2-3 months wasted with all this testing - so frustrating. I hate this feeling like I am battling time, but I know that I am.
I do have children, youngest is 5, and all but gave up the idea of having another. Then, much to my amazement, someone I know got pregnant at 44 and 10 months (She is almost 6 mos now). I said to myself "if SHE can do it....." So here I am, and finding out very quickly that TTC over 40 is not for wimps.
If the hysteroscopy this Thursday identifies a fibroid, I will have it treated and will start TTC at the end of Jan. My RE has given me the option of gonalf w/IUI or gonalf w/IVF. I thought I would start with IUI, but since I only have 5 mos of insurance coverage, maybe I should go right to IVF? I dunno, this is so hard! Any words of wisdom out there from you ladies?? Baby (((Hugs))) to all.
OH I know, those pre-test took me several months too and I just wanted to get started!! I also thought I would get pregnant as soon as I went off the pill and when nothing happened for 9 months, I started the tests. By the time I started treatment, it was six months later! Now I have been going to RE office for 2.5 years and I am still ttc after many failed IUI's with meds and without.
Your FSH is great, so you will probably just need some meds to help and will be pregnant soon!
Welcome to our group babydreamr!! This is a wonderful group of ladies with great advice and no.... ttc over 40 is NOT for wimps! I don't have insurance that covers any infertility, so I'm pretty much on my own. My ob/gyn has given me clomid for the first time this cycle. I am now on cd15 and no sign of ovulation, so don't think it is working, we'll see. Your fsh is very good, but you didn't say what your estradiol level is. When I had my tested last, my fsh was 5.4, which is excellent but..... estradiol was over 160, bad, bad, bad. I found out that when estradiol is high, it lowers your fsh, but it is really just a mask. If I were in your shoes and my estradiol level was also very good, I would probably try a couple cycles of iui, however.... if your insurance runs out in 5 months, I would be inclined to do IVF right away to gather as many eggs as possible, fertilize them and at least freeze them so that if you're not preggo by the time insurance is up, it won't be as expensive to have your embies put back in later if necessary.
I don't know.... just some thoughts. I do know they say on average it takes 3 iui's to become pregnant.
Thanks, Risa, I'm so glad I found you all! FSH is an important hormone, but when it's elevated, its because it's telling our ovaries they need to work harder than they used to. We all already know that! I feel like, if we are getting our periods and ovulating every month, then our bodies are trying to get pregnant. We know our fertility slows as we get older, so for all of us, it just means we wait until the right healthy egg comes around. We know there are still plenty of good ones in there, and it will come out sooner or later!
How was your response with injectables? Sounds like your moving in the right directing! Good luck and sending baby dust to you!
Thank you for your warm welcome! My CD3 estradiol level was 50 and my CD10 was 965. My RE said everything was good, but of course, the most important number is my age. I know it's just a number, but I also know that it means I have a fair amount of bad eggs mixed in with some healthy ones. People ARE getting pregnant naturally in their 40's, and so, if they can do it - so can we!
We all obviously have lots in common. Not only are we all TTC, but we are all determined to do so, despite the fact that Doctor's continually state that anyone over 40 has little chance. Thank goodness we are all rebels :o)
I actually did better on fermara than injectables. I only did one cycle of injectables, and this cycle I had to be natural since I was out of town and I ovulated super early! Since I have been temping, I knew once I saw 98 I probably ovulated, and I had my dr run a progesterone test and it confirmed it. So, my monitor didn't catch the surge this cycle, but I knew it!
So, in the 2ww already! I like my new RE dr so I do have a plan for next cycle if needed. Fermara and possibly IVF or IUI depends on how I respond.
Sending baby dust!
Thank You. That was inspiring. I am preparing myself for a negative Beta test on the 19th and also preparing myself for a 2nd cycle of IVF with Donor Eggs. Like you, I too detoxed and exercised before ET. The desire for motherhood makes me live a healthier life.
I live in NYC and when I began this journey, Dr. Brandeis was the first doctor I went to, mainly because his office is located near where I live. While he is a friendly person, he was not a doctor I wanted to see a second time. His office was empty (bad sign); he was rather late for our appt; without even examining me beyond a verbal discussion, he wanted me to schedule laproscopic surgery with him to make sure everything was ok, yet he didn't seem concerned about doing semen analysis on my boyfriend; he did draw blood to check my FSH levels (I coincidentally was there on day 3 of my cycle), but instead of calling me back that evening with the results as he promised, he took DAYS to get back to me, with me calling several times myself in an attempt to get my results. Finally, he is very difficult to understand because he has this mumbling/low talker thing going on. I'm not discounting any positive experience you had, but wanted to share my own experience as well.
Far and away, I've found the REs in NYC to be exceedingly discouraging and most of the fertility clinics here make you feel like you're on an assembly belt in a factory (including--nay, ESPECIALLY--the ones with the highest ratings). Worse, if you're not a candidate for their specific protocol, they pretty much toss you aside ("your only bet is to use donor eggs.") The REs here made me feel like a 70-year-old woman (at the time I was 42) by constantly telling me how old I was and how it was too late for me and how I had only a 1% chance of ever conceiving with my own eggs. After awhile I stopped going to them, bought the CBE fertility monitor and just started trying on my own but in a halfhearted sort of way.
Well, nobody was more shocked than I when I became pregnant au naturale at 43! Unfortunately, I had an early miscarriage and during that period went to a high-risk ob/gyn (I'd made the appt while I was still pregnant and a friend convinced me to keep it once I was miscarrying so that I could establish a relationship with the doctor for the "next time" I became pregnant.) Well, apparently I chose the one day out of the year that they had an entirely incompetent nurse in the office (sent over from an agency). It is a nightmare story, so I'll skip the details and cut to the chase by telling you that I wound up with an infection that left one of my tubes completely blocked and the other partially blocked. I was told by the office that the nurse was fired the very next day for "endangering their patients." I was DEVASTATED, sickened, angry, depressed--wanted to sue but didn't have the wherewithal/energy to research and contact attorneys. At this same time, I had started going to yet another RE, who promptly told me that I had a subclinical hypothyroidism that could've been responsible for the miscarriage and could've been interfering with my ability to get pregnant all along. Most disconcerting was that my blood work showed, going all the way back to Columbia 18 months before(!), that I'd had the hypothyroidism then, that my numbers were even worse then! But Columbia had never mentioned to to me, probably because they figured I was "too old" to be trying anyway (in conjunction with my high FSH levels).
Let me tell you all something: the RE who diagnosed the hypothyroidism and hydrosalpinx (blocked tube) told me that "barring a miracle," I would never get pregnant again. I was 43 with high FSH (highest was in the 60s!), a hypothyroidism AND one fully blocked tube and one partially blocked tube. He, like everyone else, told me to turn to donor eggs. I came home and cried my eyes out. Felt really depressed and defeated. One month later (3 months after the first pregnancy), I got pregnant au naturale for a SECOND TIME. I walked in to that doctor's office and said, "Well, here I am--your walking, talking miracle."
I did miscarry again, but the point is that even with super high FSH levels and one partially open tube AND with a hypothyroidism and being 43, I was able to get pregnant. Doctors will tell us that we miscarry because our eggs are "old," but they can't know that for sure. I might've miscarried because a perfectly healthy egg was stuck in my partially open tube. I might've miscarried because of the hypothyroidism. Who knows?
Well, my bad news is that since then I've also learned that I have a fibroid in my uterus (can you believe all this?) that's also most likely been there this entire time. So NOW if I want to keep trying, I need to get surgery to shave down the fibroid, I need surgery to remove the blocked tube and I need to take the meds for the hypothyroidism (been looking into other ways of fixing that). I'm now 44 and sooooo sick of doctors and all their errors and their crappy attitudes (mostly). Of all the REs I went to, the one who diagnosed the hypothyroidism is the best as his office is smaller, you get more attention, he listens to what you have to say, but even he puts too much emphasis on age. His name, if anyone's interested, is Dr. Hugh Melnick, located on the Upper East Side.
I'm now not only considering a donor egg but also a surrogate (in India). We are at a place of really weighing our options and we want to choose carefully since everything now seems to cost about $30,000 (or more) and we want to make the choice that will most likely result in a baby for us. It has been extremely difficult for me to let go of the idea of having my own biological child--especially since my mother died 10 years ago, my father is sick and my brother will most likely not have his own children--but I'll be 45 this summer and I have to ask myself if it's a family I'm after or simply own child. If I can't have my own child, do I give up on the idea of parenting? And how long to I wait before I say, "Time to move forward"? Do I want to be 50 with a newborn or is it time to look at alternative ways of creating a family?
When considering donor eggs, I initially thought I'd carry the baby myself but that puts me back in a place of needing the surgeries, meds, etc. And there have been so many missed or ignored medical issues by the doctors that I'm not sure I trust them to accurately give me a clean bill of health, if I do undergo the surgeries.
Anyway, I'm digressing. My point is that I think many of you DO have a good chance of having your own baby, in spite of what the doctors say. In my particular case, it was when I got away from the doctors and the meds that I became pregnant twice. The second time, for the record, I'd been doing acupuncture and taking herbs, though not religiously. I certainly wish everyone lots of luck!!
Hi breezy, I will also be 45 in June. I had my tubes untied in September, did the ivf and fet thing prior to the reversal. I'm so sad today, I thought I might have a positive 12 d past trigger, but today, it was neg. So either instill have a chance or not, how many iui's do I go through, ivf is out. I seem to be fertile although my EGGS are OLD....
Good luck on your journey
Congrats on getting your tubes untied! Why is IVF out for you? I was never "allowed" to try IVF due to my high FHS levels, although I was seriously considering natural cycle IVF when we discovered (discovered? It had been there all along) the uterine fibroid. I'm still toying with the idea of retrieving the single egg my body releases for a few cycles, just to know for sure that they really are of poor quality. If I go that route and if I get lucky enough to get a good egg, I would then consider the surgeries and hypothyroid meds and possibly have the fertilized egg implanted back inside me. But I would also consider going with a surrogate who's successfully given birth before. The problem is the cost of all this stuff, which is why we keep returning to the idea of a donor egg and surrogate in India. If we had enough money for it, I would suck it up and try natural cycle IVF every month!
Melanie, it's really difficult to know how many times you should try IUI. I tried IUI once, clomid once (not at all good for my body--caused lots of bleeding and other problems) and follistim twice. None of it resulted in pregnancy. The two times I did get pregnant, we simply had good old-fashioned sex when the CBE fertility monitor said it was time! The second time I got pregnant, I was sick with a bad cold but tried anyway. I've always suspected the cough medicine helped in that case but b/c one tube is totally blocked and the other is only partially open, it's likely that the egg couldn't make it all the way through.
I have a close friend who also did all the fertility clinic stuff to no avail. She too got fed up, cast it aside, started doing acupuncture and herbs and wound up with a healthy pregnancy at age 41. When that daughter was 1, they decided to try for another and successfully got pregnant soon after, only to miscarry. Well, the very SAME CYCLE she miscarried, she got pregnant again and now has two healthy daughters (second was born when she was 43).
I also have another friend who ACCIDENTALLY got pregnant at 42! She too has a healthy baby girl.
And perhaps the most encouraging story I have is of the friend of my coworker/friend. This woman and her husband tried to have a baby in their late 30s and early 40s. They tried all the fertility treatments to no avail and after much disappointment finally made the decision to give up. As the years passed, they took care of their ailing parents and lived their lives. Then at 49, the woman believed she was going through the beginnings of menopause when she didn't get her period. They were so shocked when they learned that she was actually pregnant!! They actually talked about aborting, but in the end they decided to go forward with it. Well, the woman gave birth to a healthy-in-every-way baby girl at age 50!!!!! That little girl is now 4 years old. Unfortunately the husband of this woman/father of their daughter was diagnosed with stomach cancer last year and soon after passed away, so this woman is now raising her daughter by herself, but she is so grateful that she has her. When I told this story to an RE, he said it sounded like an urban myth, which was infuriating. My friend/coworker is CLOSE FRIENDS with this woman.
Anyway, the point is that we DO still have good eggs--it's just a matter of catching the right one. And for me personally, acupuncture, herbs, supplements, exercise, enough sleep and laughter is the best medicine. The meds I took via the clinics did more harm to my body than good--I think they worked to make my hormonal balances worse than they were. But they have been good for many women, so everyone has to make their own choice as to how to proceed.
As I said last time, I'm getting tired of fighting the good fight. I feel like every time I make a decision to move forward on something, there's a new obstacle. It's one thing to say, "Okay, I'll try these meds," or "I'll change my diet." It's another to get pregnant, miscarry and THEN find out you have a hypothyroidism, even though you were tested 18 months before. It's hard because you wonder if that hypothyroidism is what caused the miscarriage. But then you suck it up and keep going. And then you learn that due to a doctor and nurse's incompetence, you now have one fully blocked tube and another partially blocked tube. So then you sort of overcome that bit of devastating news and make the decision to try natural cycle IVF--let's bypass the now-blocked tubes. But then you bleed for 18 days and learn that you have a uterine fibroid that the doctors NOW say you have to get surgically removed before you can proceed. So you go to the surgeon and she tells you that fibroids are slow growing and that yours had to be there for some time. Actually, the doctors did always say you had a fibroid but that it wasn't in a place that would interfere with pregnancy. Well, the bleeding resulted in an ultrasound that says otherwise. It says, "Yes, the fibroid would ABSOLUTELY interfere with not only your ability to stay pregnant but your ability to get pregnant in the first place."
All of this is so frustrating to me. After my second miscarriage, I spent thousands of dollars on acupuncture and herbs and now I learn there's been a fibroid there the entire time? What is wrong with these doctors??? They're so dismissive and they really don't pay attention to what might be the problem because they're SO MARRIED to the idea that if your FSH levels are high, you simply can't get pregnant.
Whew, okay, I have to calm down. I apologize for my insane rant. Obviously I have a lot of frustration/anger, which is why I'm now looking into a donor egg with surrogate. The doctors have failed me at every turn while simultaneously convincing me that my body is not "good enough" to conceive/carry a pregnancy. But writing all this has renewed my strength a little bit. Maybe I will get the damn surgeries and try the natural cycle IVF. It's just that funds are limited so if that doesn't work, I'm not sure we'd have enough money to move on to surrogate and donor egg in India. We've never decided though that we'd definitely do that--have just been researching it as of late.
Melanie, if you can afford it, I strongly recommend acupuncture and herbs. I really believe it works, but be sure you find a fertility acupuncturist.
I always enjoy reading your post when you pop in every so often. I agree acupuncture and herbs are great! Since starting herbs and acupuncture my period has gone for 3 days, one med two light to five days, two heavy, two med, and one light. I know the blood flow has increased back like when I was young! I decide to do a medicated cycle this cycle, but am still taking lots of good vitamins and acupuncture weekly!!! I am lucky to have found someone that is not that pricey and easy to work with. She is also like a counselor, she listens and is encouraging every cycle. I think she is helping me emotional too.
I wish you luck as you search for your new plan. I started thyroid meds in Aug since my tsh was at 3.6. Feeling like that was a good move. People have said cough medicine does help around ovulation, so you are right on that one. Keep us posted on what you decide to do next!
Thank you so much, I did IVF in May at 43, I made 18 follicles, 11 fertilized. We transferred 3 ( I was told we would transfer 4, but when I went for the transfer the "on call" RE said only 2 were called in and they only hatched 2, I was so mad that they gave me 2 hatched and 1 not. I didn't understand that I was 43 and how did 4go down to 2, I found out my RE was afraid, she never thought I would be so fertile, but I'm still 43! So with my big heart ache, we managed to freeze 7, I felt a little better, so now in July on to FET, waited til my legs were up to tell me 1 survived....I was crushed, pissed and thought maybe they just took my $.
So August we decided that if we had out tubes untied and with a CBE monitor we could keep trying, the TR was $7800.00. So total we spent about $25,000.00 our life savings, we did look into Shady Grove, they have a shared program with a refund with donor eggs,but the dr. Kinda made me mad when I told him I was considering a TR, he said don't waste your money, it's not going to work....boy he really knew how to make me feel bad, he didn't know anything about me, just that I was 44. My FSH is 7.0 and my AMH is 5.6, I just have to find that good egg! I pray that I do!
I am 12dpiui and so far bfn...my beta is Monday! I pray this works
Thank you Breezy, i pray you get some clarity on what path you need to follow!
Hugs and SSBD
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