TTC Over 40 User Group
Where are all my woman over 40?
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support group for women who are trying to conceive or have conceived a child over the age of forty

Founded by naturschld on October 1, 2009
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Where are all my woman over 40?

Ok was just wondering where we all went.  I'm still trying to conceive and I'm 44....still not sure how I'm going to get PG. I have my TR date, Sept. 17th. I also called Shady Grove( thanks Mel, u know who u are!  Lol) maybe the donor shared risk program, for any of you out there, I have researched donor eggs, really crazy expensive, but Shady Grove has a program that includeds meds, donor fees, you share the donor with 2 other couples, 1 try is 14,000.00 and no refund, but 29,000.00 for 6 fresh tries and unlimited frozen and its100% back if u don't bring home a baby...Super Sticky baby Dust to All Of Us
Melanie
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118 Comments
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Hi There!

I'm still here, but getting frustrated..... just not ovulating.  All I seem to do is bleed and spot, but no ovulation!  I've sort of given up in my head about being able to get pg, but am continuing to track because my cycles are so wierd that I just want to keep track of what is going on.

Personally, besides the cost, I would not be willing to do donor eggs.  I guess the reality is that I don't just want A baby... I want MY baby.  I don't know, just the way I feel.  So I guess I'm pretty much out.  You hear all those stories of women just getting pregnant (many over 43) and it was a total accident, but I can't help but thinking they were probably having regular cycles and not as perimenopausal as I am.

I don't know if you've been keeping track of your cycles to see if you are still ovulating every month, but if you are, you would still have a chance of pg with your own eggs.  The program you are talking about sounds great if they reimburse you if you don't bring home a baby!  From what I know about donor eggs, it would be a pretty good chance you would be able to get pg, so if the DNA thing is fine with you... I would say go for it!!  It's expensive, but a small price to pay if you know that in paying it you will be a mother!

I wish you the best of luck!

I've been following all the ladies on here for many, many months and there just doesn't seem to be a lot of good news, so maybe everybody is just getting a bit tired of talking about it all the time with no BFP's!  I don't know, but it does seem to have gotten a bit quieter.  I guess I don't usually say to much because I feel a bit left out with no ovulation... I guess I kind of feel like there is nothing to say.  I get so depressed about it sometimes when I see everybody in the TTW and such.... I'm certainly not in the TTW very often.  I almost feel like I should spend more time in the menopausal forums, UGH!!  I hate that.  I feel like I'm way too young to be so far in the perimenopausal state!!

Anyway, good luck to you and I hope you have your baby soon!
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Hi Melanie,
I am still ttc and I just turned 41 in June. I recently noticed my luteal phase is short, so I am going back on progesterone this cycle after ovulation.  I found out my thyroid was off, so I started medication to help me conceive.  I have been tying for two years and I feel like IM43 does, not ready to give up hope that my own egg will take.  Unlike many women on this site who have had several m/c, I have not been pregnant, and my dr says because of high fsh. I am taking wheat grass tablets to help with high fsh.  Also, do natural vitamins to help me conceive, but I did do several cycles of fertility meds and I have had several failed IUI's.  I am at the beginning of my cycle, and I am trying to stay positive, but it is hard.
Risa
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I'm really new to all this hormonal, luteal, progesterone stuff. I really think I'm going to have my tubes untied, I'm gonna need your help with all the bbt, bd timing etc.  I really don't know how to do that. My Dr says I will be able to start trying 6 weeks after the surgery. I pray for all of you, don't give up! I almost did but all of my medhelp family have given me hope!
SSBD To All off Us
Melanie
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Good luck to you. I don't know alot but if I can help, I'll be glad too. I hope everything works well for you and you are able to bring a baby home as soon as possible. SSBD to you too!
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Iam still here 44 years old and ttc . I just got my test back for progestrone it was 7.4 much higher than June 3.2. I hope this is the month. DH is now taking maca root with me as well as folic acid. I am taking baby aspirin 2000 maca root 4000 calcium prenatal vitamins with include DHA/EPA. and 50 clomid. Am I missing anything?
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Hi ladies! I'm here, too! But in a bit of a lull with having to taking off two months. :( I am discouraged for sure. The process seems to drag out forever and there does seem to never be much good news. Luckily I am ovulating, but every pregnancy I have is a chemical pregnancy. My belief is that we are all closer than we think. The RE's know that we have issues conceiving, but since they don't know how to fix us, they slap us with the label of DOR, bad/old eggs, perimenopause, menopause, etc. (Iwas told I was in menopause two years ago and I am STILL ovulating now!)

At the end of the day, we each have some sort of hormonal imbalance which does happen more often as we get older. But it doesn't mean that it can't be rectified. One of the best ways that I have read to balance hormones is through acupuncture. Now I know how expensive it is! But it seems to really work! My acu dr had a list of her infertility patients she helped with every problem you can imagine, many with very high FSH, that all brought home their own babies.

The RE's won't even test our hormone levels. That's because they wouldn't know how to treat any imbalance any way. TCM practitioners don't need to test hormone levels per se, because what they do is going to balance everything out any way. I also changed my diet in addition to starting acupuncture. I stopped gluten, refined sugar, caffeine and dairy. In July I did acupuncture 3 times. When I had my lap last Monday, after having had endometriosis for 12 years, it was gone. They found none. Hard to say definitely what did it. But I feel pretty certain the diet and acu played a large part!

It's so easy to get discouraged in this battle, especially when it feels like hope and time are running out. But everyone's body is different. And if we keep trying different things and seeing what works for us, we can start to see some progress. And if we can be really patient, I think we all have the potential to have a positive outcome.

I believe that we all have plenty of good eggs left to be able to have a baby. I also think that the eggs, while they in their resting state in the ovary, are not old or bad or anything of the sort. I think the problem happens during folliculogenesis and ovulation itself, when the egg divides and is supposed to end up with 23 chromosomes. That process, when you have an ovary that's not functioning very well, can get messed up. But the ovary not functioning well is mainly due to two things: hormonal imbalance and inadequate blood flow. (As we've talked about before, supplements to help with blood flow include baby aspirin, fish oil, Vit E, garlic, bromelain, **** quai, royal jelly, etc.)

I was able to improve the blood flow with just a couple of those supplements, so much so that my fibroid that I had for 5 years but never felt started hurting again. So as of Monday, it's gone along with two other small ones. I will be back on the blood thinning supplements this week. The egg development process takes around 100 days, I read. So I plan to keep up the efforts for improved blood flow for that whole time.

My FSH's haven't come down yet, because I haven't been doing all of these things very long. But I KNOW that they will. Taking DHEA worked for me in the past. The blood thinning supplements worked. I just know that it took many years to get my body this out-of-shape and out-of-balance, so it will take quite a while to get it back in shape. It's hard moving ahead with no guarantees. But look, NONE of us are in menopause! No matter how perimenopausal it seems we are at times, menopause is still years away. We have to fight to salvage our remaining years of fertility. We can't just take the word of RE's who just don't know any better b/c they didn't learn about hormone balance in medical school!

Giving up is a personal decision. And I understand anyone who decides that it's time. This is a long, brutal, arduous, painful journey. When you run out of gas in the tank to go on, then you can certainly give up knowing that you fought the good fight. Anyone who can afford a donor egg and is cool with the baby being genetically someone else's, that's great. Sure saves alot of time and aggravation and heartache. We personally can't afford that option. And emotionally I would NOT be ready for it yet either. My sister offered, but she's 40 herself and not the best candidate to donate. I'm also worried about the logistics of that whole idea.

But for those of us that still have some fight left in us, we have to keep searching for what the answer is for our own bodies. Since we're all different, what works for me might not work for you. But we have to keep trying different things. I plan to keep on my gluten-free, dairy-free, low glycemic diet, do acu religiously every week, and take all of my supplements for egg quality and to improve blood flow, and TTC naturally for a couple of months until the DHEA has had its 100 days to work and then do IVF in Nov or Dec, if we're not already pregnant. That's alot to do in the next 4 months! But at the moment, I still have the drive and fight left in me. If we do IVF w/my own eggs and it fails, what will I do? I have NO idea! But I will jump off that bridge when I come to it!

You ladies are all so amazing! I want this so badly for myself and for any of you who want it! All I can do is try to encourage you to be the captain of your own team and realize that you know you body better than anyone else, including and especially your RE. They have alot of knowledge and they are good at all of their fancy ART's, but they are missing knowledge in the important area of how to get our bodies in the best shape hormonally to be able to ovulate good eggs.

I'll leave you with one last thought. This is one of the things that motivates me to keep going and reminds me to NEVER believe the old, bad egg crap. I think this came from Randone Lewis' "The Infertility Cure". She explained that an experiment was done with an older female rat that was not ovulating. One of her ovaries was transplanted into a young female rat. You'll never believe the result! The ovary started ovulating again because the young female rat had good hormone balance as would be expected.

There is nothing wrong with our eggs or ovaries! It's the hormone balance! (and blood flow figures in to all that because it is through the blood flow that the hormones move around the body and between our organs and our brains, so poor blood flow will look like hormone imbalance) Stress, exercise, and diet are all very important contributing factors that we need to strive for balance in. Try to keep the stress as low as possible, try to get some form of exercise even if it's just walking, and try to have a reasonably good diet with as little gluten, dairy, refined sugar and caffeine as possible. Do your best. If necessary, start slow and work your way up with some of these things. We have habits that we've been doing for decades now. It will take time time to change. But if we want this badly enough, we can do it. And it is worth it!

Hope everyone is enjoying their weekend! Hang in there!

:) Sherri
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Sorry to write so long!! I hadn't written in a while so had alot to say apparently! Lol! :-)
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You are always so inspirational!!  I love that about you and you're right... it does take time to get our bodies and ovaries back to functioning well.  Sometimes I forget that I have only been really doing this and listening to my body, charting etc for about 6 - 7 months.  That's not really that long and I only started taking the dhea, co q10, baby asprin, b6, etc about 2 months ago.  I am with you... I'm going to choose to stop feeling bad and wanting to give up and I am going to get my maca, vitex and up the dhea!  We'll see what happens with all of that over the next 3 or so months!

Thank you for your long and inspirational post!!!  SSBD!!  
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Sherri,
Thank you, I wish I could write as well as you do!
All my love and Super Sticky Baby Dust To All of Us!
Many Hugs!
Melanie
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You guys are so sweet! I am happy if I can help motivate you! (It helps me stay motivated, too, I think!) :-) I just started my DHEA a couple of weeks ago, so I know I have 2-3 more months before I will see benefit. But I will keep taking it religiously every day!

It's hard to explain, but I just KNOW deep in my heart that I WILL be successful. I'm sure my OB and RE both think I'm delusional, but I don't care. I've read enough and seen enough result from my diet changes, supplements, acu, etc., to know that (as long as I stick with it), I will succeed. :-) And you guys all can, too! Big hugs!!!
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Once again, I'm so touched and moved by your words. It brought a tear to my eye actually! Thank you again for inspiring us all.
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Sherri & All,
I agree with Christine, your words do help.  I think at the beginning of the cycle I need the most support because I feel so disappointed once again.  So glad to read that others struggle with it too. AF just ended, so I feel like I have a week to rest, before ovulation and all.  I plan to enjoy this week, will still take temps and start opk around cd 8 or so. Hopefully not ovulate until cd 14.   Sending baby dust to all!

Risa
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I'm still here, & by the looks of it I'm the oldest amongst us :)
At 45 I am still doing everything I possibly can to make myself as healthy as possible & give myself the best possible chance of having another baby.
I am working with a naturopath & acupunturist, whilst my last 2 cycles have been long I still believe that I will concieve (conceive), but that it will take time, at the moment I am on a break from TTC while I work with my naturopath to improve my chances.
So yeah, I'm still here lol
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I'm still here too. Trying every month. Should be ovulating in a few days time. Doc says my numbers are similar to a younger woman (I'm 42) like maybe late 30's so I still have hope. I don't even think donor eggs are an option in my country. Not sure but our RE has never mentioned that option.

Thanks for all the encouraging words Sherri and others. Life is exciting no matter what happens.
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I used to comment a few months back, but stopped because I started becoming depressed every month that would go by with nothing.  I'm 45, never been pregnant, but I keep trying.  Working on losing 10 pounds, riding my bike more, still taking numerous supplements.  Want to see an accupunturist, but haven't done so yet. I want very much to have a family, always have. I keep hoping god will open that door, but the truth is I'm very discouraged. Wishing you all the best of luck. Catherine
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Hi Catherine, I know were getting up there,but that's why were here! We are here for each other, we need each other to guide us through this crazy thing called fertility!   I know collectively we can give help and  find a way in which we can achieve our primary goal....Motherhood! Although I feel guilty sometimes about already having children, I feel the pain for my DH who does not! He could leave me and find a young fertile new woman, but we are committed to each other and we are soul mates!  I am here on medhelp because I know you all know how I feel, you know how to gently nudge me in the right direction! Catherine, if there's anything WE can do for you please reach out to any one of us and we will try to help! No one should cry alone...this is what I have gotten from all of YOU! I still have a lot of questions!
All my Love,
Melanie
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Catherine,
Melanie is so right, we are all here to support each other.  Not being able to conceive is so hard for all of us. Supporting each other is the only way we can find strength to keep trying.  I haven't been pregnant either, and I have always wanted to have children.  I have been trying for 2 years and it seems like forever.  I like medhelp and I am thankful for all the daily support.
Risa
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Melanie and Risa, thanks so much for the kind words and encouragement!  It really helps knowing you are out there. I have a friend my age who has never had kids and absolutely does not want them. I can't relate to that sentiment because I just feel a large hole in my life. Even though I have so many things to be grateful for and I am, something very important is missing.  I haven't given up, but feel those of us struggling with ttc have to be positive and not be influenced by all the negative doctors and research. I'm working on my attitude and as i said getting my body into the best shape i can. Thanks again for reaching out, Catherine
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Great Big Hugs to You Catherine!
Melanie
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i read your note and like others, i find it inspirational.  thank you for sharing your experience and tips to consider.  we all need to hear this as our own RE will not share these things (even if they find out from their patient) b/c of liability and maybe b/c they don't have time.
thank you... i took notes.  keep us posted.
GOOD luck! :))
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I may not have all the answers but you all inspire me NOT to give up!
All my love,
Melanie
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Looks like I am ovulating tomorrow, cd 13 and going in for an IUI. Then the 2ww! I am going to use my progesterone this cycle, start on Thursday. I am close to double digits in IUIs, so I am really praying this is the one that works!
Sending baby dust to all,
Risa
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That's fantastic! I will be praying for you!

     I am going for my tubal reversal so I am going to need your help.  My Dh will need help, I think, so I was wondering if IUI helps with this?  I am still ovulating but I don't KNOW exactly when.
Sending Super Sticky Baby Dust To All Of Us!
Melanie
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Congrats to on your TR I know you will have a better chance I did get preggo but miscarried that is mt second one 1st is when I went through ivf. I am still here trying other ways we found out that I still have 6 frozen embies in the lab where I did my ifv cycle back in 2000. My dr from there called me about a study that is of no charge so as soon as I get my blood work back to find out if every thing is ok with me getting pregnant and being able to hold it I will decide what to do. That is to try without meds on my on or go through with the study.

Baby Dust To You All!!!!!  
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Hey Melanie,
IUI is a good way to get pregnant and a lot of women with unexplained infertility (with me it is high fsh) can only get pregnant this way.  I am really hoping and praying this one will take for me. Any questions about IUI feel free to ask me. The best way to find out ovulation is to buy a fertility monitor.  I brought one brand new on ebay, clear blue easy.  It really helps you located before you ovulate and when you are going to ovulate.  Then RE office checks follicles before ovulation before deciding if it is an IUI month or not.  Anyway, good luck with your tubal reversal!  Hope all goes well with it and you get your BFP soon!
Risa
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Mz, good luck to your and your little snow babies...I will pray you get your BFP, please keep us posted!  How long was your recovery?  could you walk soon after? Please let me know!
  

Risa, I have to get an OPK...I will be letting you know when I'm ready...I'm excited!

All my love!  SSBD to All OF US
Melanie
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Hi all,Im still here too.I am 41 and have been TTC for nearly 2 years.I have regular periods and ovulate every month but i only have 1 fallopian tube due to an eptopic 6 years ago.I have a failed IUI with gonal f and i am now on 2nd cycle with clomid.So i am sending you all SSBD as we need it more because we are a little older and we all deserve it XXX
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I am so happy that you are still here too!  I'll be praying for you!  SSBD to all of US
xoxoxoxoxo
Melanie
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Hey Mel the recovery after a TR is about 6 weeks I think to actually heal and yes you are able to walk slowly though you will be sent home with pain meds. Some people don't wait 6 weeks they wait about 4 but in my case I wanted everything to heal so we waited. If you don't get preggo after 6 months of trying after TR your dr can prescribe clomid to help you ovulate with good quality eggs.

Best of luck to you!!!!  
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Hi Mel thanks honey,good luck to all you ladies SSBD xxx
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Thanks MZ,
do you think I can stand straight in about 2 weeks?  I've got a big job and I thought I could take pain meds and just sit on a bucket to make sure the job goes well! Lol I'm so crazy!

Hi bevfly,
   Im so glad we're all here for each other. Let's all try to check in at least once a week!
I couldn't do this without you!
Melanie
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Hi honey yeh no probs once a week thats great xx
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Yea you'll be ok just sit there and be comfortable.




Baby Dust To All!!!!!
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Thanks for the advice!
SSBD to All of Us
Melanie
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Good morning ladies,
   Just wondering about all of you....I'm going through with my TR on Friday.  All my best to you....SGSBD To Us All
Melanie
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Good luck Melanie...I am sure it will all work out. It's a step closer to your dream.  I tell myself that everyday, as I wait until November, each day I am closer to my dream!

Sticky Baby Dusts to all!
Sofia
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Melanie, hope all goes well tomorrow! will be thinking of you and wishing you the best! Catherine
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Thank you so much, now I just have to find a way to survive not eating food today, or tomorrow, my surgery is at 1:30 pm yikes.
SSBD To All of Us!
Melanie
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Hi honey wish you all the best for your surgery,keep us all posted SSBD xx
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Hey Mel Just want to let you know I didn't forget about you and your big day tomorrow I know this will work for you.
Wishing you best of luck.

Baby Dust To You All!!!!

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Brand new to this forum but I have to say - reading this thread made me so happy. I'm 44 and have only been TTC for a few months. I have days that I feel as though it's all a lost cause and other days that I believe strongly that my body is still totally awesome and able to get pregnant. I'm still trying TTC naturally....

Anyway, just wanted to join in, say hi and tell you all you've inspired this slightly cynical woman!

Serena
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Hi, don't let them make you feel OLD! We are NOT. I'm recuperating from my tubal reversal  two weeks ago, still not feeling great, but I can't wait to start trying the natural way!
Good luck to you and SSBD To All of Us!
Melanie
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Hope you feel better soon!  A step closer to your dream!  Remember that!

I am still waiting for November to come by before I start my IVF again.  I don't think I want to do it in October...wanted 2 months gap this time and let the DHEA do its work.

Been working out hard, like a maniac.  Starting to feel like my old self again.

Not long to go, 5 weeks!  

SSBD to all TTC!
Sofia
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Thank you, I'm getting better day by day!  I know sometimes waiting seems like an eternity but it will be better to let your body get better!  What is DHEA and what is it used for?
5 weeks will fly by!  I have to wait 6, just 4 more to go, then we get to BD on the beautiful island of St. John, I can't wait.

SSBD to All.
Melanie
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Hey glad your on the mend honey.Ive made a decision to stop clomid so after this month thats it.I am due to ovulate soon so fingers crossed and hope this might possibly be my month.How is everyone else doing?Having each other for support is a wonderful thing and i really dont know what i would have done without all you guys on here.Lets hope we all get good news and soon SSBD to everyone Bev xx
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Hi Bev,  what is clomid for? Is it used like gonal-f, does it help produce more follies a month?  
  I have my fingers and toes crossed for you!
I agree, I couldn't go through this without all of you either!
Melanie
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Hi Mel! Hope your recovery is going well! The DHEA is good for us follicularly challenged (high FSH) "older" women. Many of us are deficient in hormones like estrogen, testosterone and DHEA, so by taking DHEA, it boosts the levels of all 3 of those. There was a study by CHR (Center for Human Reproduction) in New York that proved that 75mg/day does increase success in women who had previously failed IVF. You might not benefit since your FSH is so good, but I wouldn't know for sure. If you have a dr that you can ask to check your hormone levels, that would be ideal. (estrogen, testosterone, DHEA & progesterone) I was deficient in all of them. I actually had 0 testosterone and almost 0 of the others! If yours come back a little low, then maybe you could benefit from a low dose. I think Clomid does help make extra follies. (I've never taken it. With high FSH, Clomid would have no benefit and might even mess hormone levels up worse.) Probably it would be good for you to increase your odds with extra follies! SSBD! :)
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Sherri is right. It's usually prescribed for women who experience premature ovarian failure.

am on DHEA for just one thing tho : better quantity and quality (or is that 2 things? LOL) Apparently it does help us older women but one side effect is you do lose some hair but it does grow back.  It becos it increases the male hormones. My hair is slightly thinner now but as it grows again, I have lots of baby hair!

You need to be on it for 2 months to get the full benefit.

I think taking a break is a good thing...I considered doing it this month but just feel like I need a break from it all.

Does anyone believe in astrology and timing of pregnancies?  Just wondering...
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Hi, Sherri...

Thanks for the positive vibes. I haven't really been actively posting comments but I've been reading everyone else's. Like most of you, I've been feeling down and all. I turned 43 in July and it seems like an endless road to finally having a BFP. I also consulted at Shady Grove but the costs are very prohibitive and my insurance doesn't cover even IUI's so I'm left with Mother Nature to help me through. Although, even if I could afford the ART's, I would still want to use my own eggs. I told the doctor that it's not just a matter of having "a baby" but I would want my and my husband's child. I already have an adopted son and my husband has his son, but I want to be a mother of my own flesh and blood. You're right, though. We have to help ourselves by making sure our bodies are healthy enough to receive and house such an important GIFT!  I am not giving up yet, and your words just lit more fire in my heart to keep me going. I pray for everyone here that we get that which our hearts ardently desire. Thanks, and lots of baby dust to all!
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Hi ladies the clomid does actually make your ovaries produce bigger follicles,and for women who dont ovulate it helps them to ovulate and get their monthly cycle back to being regular.I wasnt producing big enough follies so i took clomid to help me,i have taken it 3 cycles and now decided not to take it anymore.Im just hoping that this month i got lucky and maybe get some good news fingers crossed for me.SSBD Bev xx
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Hi ladies just checking in to see how you are all doing?SSBD to all Bev xx
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Two weeks to count down...yahoo!
Melanie
Let the baby dancing begin!
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Just wanted to say hi to you awesome ladies, it was nice to read everything after I posted.

I'm 6DPO, patience is a virtue!!
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Hope everyone is doing well.  I am on cd 9, and I usually ovulate around cd 12-14.  I just started fertilaid on cd 6 and two other products the same company makes.  I am hoping and praying this is my cycle! How is everyone else doing?
Sending Baby Dust!
Risa
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Just checking in on all of you again...I'm praying for all of you that I know and for those of you that I haven't met yet.  To my friends that didn't get the bfp this month, Im extending my heart to you and great big hugs....Never Give Up!
Love Melanie
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Hi Mel! I'm so excited for you to get to start trying! Are you doing anything special on your first cycle? Or just au natural like us? Good luck! Hope you are successful on the first month of TTC! :)
Love, Sherri
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Hi sherri,
    We are going to St John Usvi and Yes I am going au natural!  I hope I can figure out the opk!  That's my big worry, I got pre seed, should I use it if I need to?  Any tips? I could use all the help I can get!  How are you Sherri?
Melamie
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I used the opk and the preseed when I got pregnant.  Not saying the preseed is what did it, but sure didn't hurt.  Was also doing BBT.  Helped me figure out my cycle.  Good luck with everything!
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Just a quick update...all recovered from my TR. 2nd cycle, I'm feeling great about it! How are all of you..any news?
Keep me posted!
Melanie
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Hi Melanie,
I got a new RE Dr and he decided for me to try fermara one more time before trying injectables.  I go in tomorrow of u/s to see how I did on fermara.  He saw me on cd 1 and I had four small follicles plus one that was already a 9, so I am feeling pretty good.  Praying my results are great tomorrow cd 12 and I will either be natural or do an IUI later this week.  My fertility monitor is still on low for this cycle, but my temp is at 97.6, so I predict ovulation Wednesday.  Do you like the monitor?

Risa
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Hi Ladies  hope your all well.Melanie - So glad you over the TR honey and its great to hear your feeling better.Im on 13 dpo and just hoping but i know AF will be here soon.Any news from ladies?SSBD to all Bev xx
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Hi Risa, I love my monitor, this is my first cycle with it and I've had 3 high days so far, I really think I missed Ov last cycle (without it)...this makes it much better, tell me about fermara. What is it and what does it do? is it like Clomid? are they pills or injectables?  Keep Me posted!

Bev, How are you? 13dpo you still have a chance...I'm feeling really good about all of us this month, I don't know why!  SSBD to all of us!

Hugs,
Melanie
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Hello all. I am new to the group, 45 yrs old, having TR Jan 2011 with a FSH of 15.5 last month. My husband and I have been married 10 yrs and since I had a tubal 20 yrs ago we have no children together, yet.

Has anyone here had any success bringing down FSH level?

Thanks in advance ladies!

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Hi Melanie,
Fermara is like clomid, helps follicles grow! I had three good size this cycle, so I am so happy!  Fermara is pills you take prior to ovulation.  I take them cd 3-7. Then you go in for a check up and see how you did and sometimes they tigger ovulation followed by an IUI.  I wasn't able to tigger ovulation since my dh won't be home until tomorrow night.  So, I will bd tomorrow and pray this cycle is the one!  I like the monitor because it takes out the guess work.  I usually get a few days of high and then peak, but a few cycles it went from low to peak!  This cycle I am on high, but those regular opk sticks say positive.  I will test again tomorrow on both.
Sending you baby dust!
Risa
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Hi,
I have high fsh and I am doing acupuncture to help.  I also take wheat grass pills.  I was doing natural cycles for the past 9 months and the past four with acupuncture had good results, with follicle size and lining, but didn't get pregnant, so I went back to fertility drug, fermara, but kept doing vitamins.  Got great results, so praying that it is helping.  My fsh has been 18- 20.

Risa
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Hi Risa,
   Good luck to you...keep me posted!  Sending sticky baby vibes your way!
Melanie
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Hi ladies i am interested to know more about femara,any one able to fill me in?What does it do,when do you take it,and are there any side effects.And how different is it to clomid?I have tried clomid for 3 months and did get bigger follies but no pregnancy yet.Thanks mel i hope we all get good news this month too honey SSBD to everyone Bev xx
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Hi Bev,
Fermara is a lot like Clomid, it helps the follicles grow. I take it cd 3-cd 7.  I like it better than Clomid which I tried for two cycles.  I did fermara off and on for 1.5 years and my results were just okay and only bfn.  I have been natural since Jan. and I have actually gotten better results with vitamins and acupuncture.  taking b6, b50, baby aspirin, wheat grass and macaroot. This cycle I did fermara, vitamins, and acupuncture and my results were the best I have ever had.  So, hoping this is my cycle.

Just like clomid you go in for a check up before ovulation to check on follicles size and lining.  Some do a tigger, I usually ovulate on my own.  If you have more questions, let me know.
Risa
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Hello,

I am new to the group. I am 45 yrs old, having a TR in January 2011, FSH 15.5 on day 3 of last cycle. I was told by the dr that is doing the TR that he couldnt give me any guarantee of a baby but it was possible, but not high probability with 15.5 FSH. He suggested maybe IVF and donor eggs but my husband and I KNOW we are going to get pregnant.

I am going to the health food store tomorrow and get some DHEA and wheatgrass pills. I still have regular periods and I do feel very slight cramp on right or left side at time that ovulation should occur. I have an ovulation detection kit and a basal thermometer chart. I am waiting for my period to start those 2 things.

Any help at all will be greatly appreciated. Thanks ladies and I pray you all conceive asap!

baby4us2
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Hi,

        good luck with your TR, I am on my 2nd cycle since we got the go ahead to ttc. I haven't taken anything, I'm using a ovulation monitor. It seems to to take the guess work out of ovulation. I'm 44, my fsh was 7, but still no guarantees.
Good luck and SSBD
Melanie
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Hey ladies, I was reading your posts.    I just wanted to give you all some hope.    I have been on these boards for geesh....about a year and a half.    I'm 43 y/o myself and ttc since I got married in April 2009.     I just wanted to let you all know that good things can and do happen.    I am currently 17 1/2 weeks pregnant, after a year and a half of trying EVERYTHING under the sun.    I've had 2 m/c's and have felt that deep dark depression that some of you are feeling.    I have signed onto these boards every single day since I joined it in 2009.    There are days where I felt like I was the ONLY woman "not" getting pregnant.   I was happy for everyone but yet so incredibly sad for myself.   I know where you are, I know how you feel.    Its a tough tough road to walk down at our age and I couldn't help but feel like my body was failing me no matter what I did.

I started doing acupuncture...sometimes with herbs, sometimes not.    My acupuncturist was from China and was our states leading fertility specialist in acupuncture.   I got really lucky finding her.     I went once per week.....I know...very expensive, but at my age, I pulled out all the stops and changed my budget in so many ways to do all this.    I also was seeing a fertility clinic and had a great RE that agreed to be brutally honest with me and tell me where to spend my money and when for the "best" chances.   I took femara on CD 3 - 7 and gonal-f injections on CD 5 - thru whenever they told me to stop and take the ovidrel.     My FSH was at 13 when I first started this process at age 41, but I did have regular cycles and the OPK's did show that I was ovulating.   I never had FSH checked again because that was one of the things my RE told me not to waste time or money or thought on it.    FSH is only a guideline guess.    There IS NO way to change how many eggs you have left, you just need to make the BEST use of the ones that are there and keep your body systems healthy, which is supposedly what acupuncture does.    Don't concentrate on your FSH number or spend money to lower it, it really won't change anything even if the number changes, you CAN'T grow more eggs and you CAN'T change the quality of them.    The key is to keep your bodys system healthy and regular with a good diet, good exercise and acupuncture if you believe in it, because this IS something you can change and it may just work.    My RE told me that I probably was going down in egg quanity and quality, but that didn't mean there weren't a few good ones left.    We tried for over a year, had 5 failed IUI's, but amazingly enough...all the times that we tried on our own with the meds and acupuncture....I got pg.    Now I lost 2 of those babies due to chromosonal issues, but for me....the IUI's didn't work...can't explain why cause statistically you have better chances with that.

Finally, the depression was getting to me and I was sure that I had no more good eggs.   We started looking into the donor program and actually selected a donor.   My dh wasn't "all on board" but he knew that the depression was changing me and we needed to move on to our next step.    I was currently taking the meds and made the statement that this would be our last cycle of ttc.    I went in for my day 10 u/s and was told that my lining was very very poor....3.8, I had a large cyst on my right ovary (39mm) and that I had 2 follicles on the left.    My RE couldn't even give me a good positive face about the 2 follicles....he looked really sad and said....I don't think its going to work this cycle.

I went home, threw away all the meds, cried my eyes out and said....okay, we're done, we are going to do the donor egg route and move on with our life.     I'd spent too many months hoping and trying and waiting and losing, all for nothing.      I waited 2 weeks for AF to show her ugly face one more time..........she never did.     When those 2 pink lines appeared, I was THE most shocked person in the world.    On my very worst cycle, I got pg!     I then kept saying.....I'll lose it just like always, but that day has never come yet.   I had CVS testing done and its a healthy little boy.    Everything seems to be going absolutely perfectly, and I'm amazed and stunned and blessed every single day.

I know where you guys are and I truly truly know how you feel,   But DON't give up, DON't....there ARE success stories out there and I'm one of them.     This can and does happen for women our age, don't lose hope and don't lose yourself in this process.   I almost did and when I look back, I wonder why.     I had a beautiful 8 y/o daughter, I had a wonderful supportive husband, all of us were healthy, why was I losing myself in depression?     You are all beautiful, wonderful women, don't EVER forget that.
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I just wanted to thank you for your story... I keep saying that one day I will write it down here but then I back out...

Your story brought me to tears...

Thank you for sharing it...
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Thank you so very much...I knew you were out there, I'm so glad you found me!
All my best to you!
Melanie
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I have to add my opionion too...LOL..I believe that as long as you stay positive and just live things will come your way. I had a TR on Dec 09 waited 3 months ttc . In June found out one of my tubes was blocked , started Clomid and I got Preggo the end of Sept. Sadly she stopped growing at almost 6 weeks. But here I am again TTC...Good luck and never ever give up...

Hugs
Deb
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Thanks so much ladies, I know that not much will make the ttc journey any better, no matter what I or anyone else says,nothing except getting that BFP will make you feel better.     But hopefully it will make you appreciate yourselves just a little bit more today, cause you are beautiful, strong, loved women by everyone in your lives.

I do think that alot of getting pg IS in our own power, whether its positive thinking, or not stressing, however you find that peace inside yourself, that's what we need to find.

You are all in my thoughts and prayers.
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A little about Me...

I am a 49, soon to be 50, yr old who has been trying to get pregnant for the last 3 yrs... I have had some of the tests and the results told me that I am not in menopause yet nor in pre-menopause... When tested for estrogen, every thing was right where it should be... Later tested for progesterone and found that I had close to none when there should have been at least some... Doctor told me that she believes I was producing little to no progesterone and that have been why I have had 3 chemical pregnancies over the last 3 years.

Until 2003, I was classified as very obese... weighing over 500lbs... ON June 9, 2003, I had gastric bypass surgery... I lost about 210lbs over the next year... I also did a year of addiction treatment within my spiritual path to address my food issues... The healing process helped me to lose another 80 lbs... Crisis struck and old habits came back and over a 3 year period I gained over 150lbs back...

Another crisis and I am out of work again... I was gaining weight again, when I watched a movie on Netflix called the Beautiful Truth. Its about a 16 yr old that loses is mother and his father takes him out of school to home teach him... He has a project to complete and must keep a journal and present a paper and project to "pass". The son chooses to research the ****** Project. The ****** Program is about a man who discovered a cure for all kinds of illnesses and disease by changing a person's diet and eliminating all processed foods and MSG/preservatives. Basically they began to eat RAW foods.

This interested me and I then as I tend to do, went into research mode... (Hethir we have that in common)... Without making the decision to "GO RAW," I began to add more and more fresh vegetables and fruits to my kitchen and eating habits... I did more research and since I was still trying to get pregnant began to do research on if the 2 were compatible... and low and behold, they were... There were some cautions that needed attention once I became pregnant... but what I read on various sites was that eating raw would help in a number of ways...

Most of the sites talked about the advantage of losing or gaining weight... if that was an issue... and as identified above.. this was indeed an issue for me... I have been on a number of diets over the years that had raw food incorporated into the diet but NONE of them told me to not use sugar substitutes - because they cause cravings and mess with the hormonal system. None of the diets told me that heating food over 118 degrees destroys more then 50% of the nutrients and "live" energy that is contained within that food. None of the diets informed me that processed foods contain ingredients that would make it hard to stay on them... like MSG etc... (in a previous time and in previous research I found out that MSG - once identified to cause cravings and other negative reactions in people - was being renamed and still identified on the label but not as MSG.

The other factor in going raw was that it could increase my chances of becoming pregnant... not only for the weight loss but because I was removing things from my body that may be causing issues with my reproductive system... I was not, by far, drinking enough liquid and my body - from other signs - was at a very acidic PH level... Eating RAW helps balance the PH level in your digestive system ... That in-turn helps to balance other systems in my body... Which is part of the goal!!!

Side Note: During the time I was really obese, I had amenorrhea (absence of period/ovulation, etc), one of the doctors I saw that understood my desire to become pregnant at this late stage in my life said that this might bode well for me as I may have access to all the eggs I didn't use then, now when I wanted them the most... Hoping that this is the case and that this WHOLE process gets me to my dream...

Over the last 3-4 weeks I have basically transitioned into eating raw... I am currently at about 75-85% raw on any given day... and since this transition has started I have lost about 15lbs... and per the doctors that in itself gives me a 15% greater chance of getting pregnant...

Thru a friend on this website I heard about Natural Fertility.com and the herb Tribulus...again I then as I tend to do, went into research mode... and discovered Vitex, Tribulus, Wild Yam root, Maca and various other herbs that help with... what my doctor called estrogen Hard balance in my hormones...

Over the last couple of weeks I have also begun to walk again and take my dog for a walk about every other day for about 45-50 minutes at a fast pace...

I started taking Vitex on Oct. 22nd... somewhere around that same time, I added back astragalus for increased energy... I have stopped TTC about the end of Sept., beginning of Oct. for a number of reasons including the process of getting things balanced again... I have ordered the progesterone cream for use after I ovulate... and also added the Wild Yam Root to support my body's processing of the added progesterone... I am hoping that between the jump start of Vitex, adding the Wild Yam and then the cream, I can get my system back in balance and be one of the few women over 50 to give birth...lol

I am currently on CD11 and added Tribulus on CD5 to assist with ovulation... I started testing yesterday and things are ok... I will continue to not TTC until sometime in January... hoping that I have lost more weight and gotten things better balanced... so that when I do get pregnant and I believe I will... I can maintain the pregnancy and be another success story...

So I now take Vitex (5caps in AM), Tribulus (1 tab x2), Wild Yam Root (1 cap x3), Astragalus (3 caps x2 prior to 3pm), Multivitamin (chewable - 1 cap x2), Iron (chewable - 1 cap x2), Vitamin C (2 - 500mg tab x 3), Omega 3 (3 cap x3) and RAW Calcium (3 caps in PM just prior to bed).

I start the day with 27oz of room temp H2O followed by 16oz of lemon H2O and then another 27oz of room temp H2O. I then drink an herbal organic pregnancy tea (16oz) to drink 4 more containers of 27oz H2O... All water is reverse osmosis... working on making the lemon water from fresh organic lemons... but that can be expensive... (If you didn't know ... the lemon juice helps to balance the PH in the digestive system...

A good friend told me that I look and act like a 35 yr old... I told her I am not sure that is a good thing but then she said that gives me 15 more years to try and get pregnant until I reach 50... LOL I don't feel like I am soon to turn 50 so I guess that all matches... Hoping it all stays this way and gets better...

This may be more info than anyone expected or as I am hoping just enough...  I am planning a shopping trip to add to my on the shelf - in the pantry items on hand ... based on some of Hethir's suggestions... I'll keep everyone posted as to the outcomes and issues that occur over the next couple of months...

SSBD to all of you who are TTC... (Super Sticky Baby Dust)...

: )

Raven
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Good luck to you, you seem to be well on your way!
SSBD to you,
Melanie
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Hi honey thanks for the info very much appreciated.Just didnt know much about it the only thing i knew was that it was for breast cancer or something.Was maybe going to ask my doctor about it but now ive decided not to.Im giving up all this TTC stuff as ive had enough cant take any more of it all.Wish everyone the best and SSBD Bev xx
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Wow, I will be interested to hear how that all works out for you, good luck to you.   It sounds like if nothing else, you are on your way to good health.

I wish you luck
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Mmm might possibly give the raw food a try.If nothing else for a healthy diet at least.I just read alexis post and was so moved by it,you really are a wonderful person and give hope to us all.Bev xxx
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Alexis....Thank you for you story...it gives all of us so much hope.

I have been trying for the last 3 years and consulated a fertility specialist over a year ago.  I have had 2 failed IUIs and 4 failed IVFs.  Like most of you, I am doing acupuncture and believe it does wonders.

I am taking a 2-3 month break before my next IVF just because I needed to find myself again.  I got completely lost in my obsession to get pregnant and was reaching a point when I considered myself depressed.  I didn't have anything else to look forward to and felt like a real failure.  I needed to take a break and take a few steps back to look at the whole picture again.

Now, as I approach my next attempt, I feel like a different person.  I feel more positive and more in control of my thoughts and my feelings.  I was wrong to obsess and to try so hard.  I know it is beyond our control and it a natural reaction, after so many attempts and so many failures....but it is an awful place to be in. I am sure most of you can relate to this...feeling alienated and so "inward".........

I agree that one of the key is to stay positive and to continue to believe.  A book I read stated, when your mind believe you can get pregnant, you body follows.  I read or hear of miracles almost everyday, but stopped believeing it could happen to me.

Now, I have put aside all of my books, and vitamins and supplements.  I am only on DHEA, Omega 3 and Folic Acid.  I eat healthy but no longer obsess.  This is the only forum I go to.  I exercise because I enjoy it.  My husband and I have found romance in our life again, and the passion is back in our lives.  When I look in the mirror, I see my old self. I feel young (and sexy!) again!  Yes!!!!  Not the same person who felt her body was old, her eggs were old etc etc etc....I find myself laughing more...the first few times...I was quite surprised to hear myself laugh...it seems such a long time ago that I felt true happiness...and it's a nice to feel it again.

Everything happens for a reason...and I believe it's just a matter of time before I get pregnant, and get to have a healthy pregnancy....I feel blessed to have a wonderful husband who was always there for me, and wonderful people in my life who kept me strong. You guys continue to motivate and inspire me....

Thanks to all of you for your positive posts...and to those who are struggling, hang in there.....believe that it can happen to you.  Try to find the right balance in your life, as I believe its the key.....sometimes letting go (of worries, control, thoughts etc)...is the key...

Sending SSBD to all of you......
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I couldn't have said it better myself!  The journey is a along one, but with all of you to hold my hand, I know I can do it!
Hugs,
Melanie
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I'm so happy for you, you really sound like you are on the right track emotionally.    

This is totally where you need to be!!!!

Hugs
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Futuremama-well said honey think we all agree with you.I was thinking just the other day about how i have changed and let the whole TTC thing take over my life,affecting my relationship to the point where we nearly split.Thank god we didnt as it took me 39 years to find him and dont want to lose him.It makes you think about your life and your right we need to be happy and laugh and feel happy inside then surely everything else will fall into place like getting pregnant.Sending all you ladies my love and best wishes Bev xx
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Thanks for the lovely responses...it makes me feel better knowing I am not the only one who went through the phase of losing myself.

bevfly - there was a time when I looked in the mirror and didn't recognise myself.  Not only because of the weight I gained over the 4 IVFs, but because I didn't have any more life in my eyes....It's as thought the light within me was switched off....as for dh, I had to stop and think when he reminded me that he was always with me and he was grieving with me at every negative result and chemical pregnancy. I realised that I was also shutting him out.

We somehow stop counting all the wonderful blessings in our life......It took me a while to get it...that despite everyone telling me to take it easy and not to let the stress over take me, I was very stressed internally although outwardly I appeared fine.  I thought I was calm.... It wasn't until I really looked inwardly, deep deep inside myself that I realise I was actually a mess....I have lost ALL confidence in myself, I didn't want to meet anyone, and that I was ashamed of my failures.. and that everything in my life was about getting pregnant!

Life shouldn't be like this.  It should be about living, and embracing all the wonderful things in our life, no matter how small. It's about being happy and contented....now my philosophy is that my life is full, my cup runneth over...and anything else is a blessing...

I am so blessed to have all of you to share this journey with me...SSBD to all you lovely ladies...
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Well said! I'm so touched by your words, while reading them I realize you were me. Thank you for reminding me of the true blessings I have now and I must recognize them! I'm glad you have truly opened my eyes!
Hugs,
Melanie
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I'm officially in my 2WW, I am Thankful for that!  Happy Thanksgiving to all my ladies over 40!  Anyone in 2WW with me?
Hugs and BAby Dust to All
Melanie
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Me too! 5DPO. We should start a pool to see how long I can wait to test. lol! If I make it to 10DPO, it'll be a miracle! I purposely have no tests in the house, though. How many DPO are you? We must be pretty close! I pray this is your month! SSBD! :-)
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Ladies! I am so excited for the both of you.....2WW!!!

Sending SSBD to both of you!
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Futuremama, thank you!
Sherri, I'm 3DPO your 2 days ahead of me, when do I test?  I've only had ivf and fet so I knew when, when is a good time 10dpo?....lol too soon? 5 before Af?
All my best,
Melanie
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My doctor told me to wait 5 to 7 days after AF is supposed to start. My AF is supposed to be here on Dec 3 hopefully she won't come but instead I get a BFP..Good luck to you...
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Hey, my AF is due Dec 3rd too....keeping my fingers crossed for OUR BFP!
Melanie
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I'm 47 and TTC. I'm in my 3rd and last FET cycle :o)

Blessings for all of you....
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Welcome to our group, good luck this cycle!
Risa
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Hello again, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. Just wanted to let you know we decided not to wait and this cycle used Gonal-f and iui with trigger. We are currently 2dpiui.  I pray all of us get our wish for this joyous NewYear.
Love hugs and Baby Dust,
Melanie
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Oh my gosh Melanie, I am so excited for you!!!  Do you have a tracker??  Are you temping?  I'm going to go check.... I hope so because I want to watch your progress.  I wish you all the best and hope so much that you get your BFP before the new year!!  What a blessing that would be!!

Love, hugs and huge Baby Dust back to you!!
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Hi Honey, I have a tracker, should I be temping? I thought that was for o'ing. Let me know what I'm supposed to do...this is so confusing!
Hugs
Mel
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Hi ladies hope we al have good luck in the new year and all our wishes come true Bev xx
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Mel,
What is nice about temping is we can see AF coming before she is on the way!  See temps start going up after ovulation (over 98) and they stay up if pregnant.  If you see temps starting to drop, AF is on the way in a day or two.  It just gives us some more information.  Your temp should be up since you are taking progesterone.

Risa
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Hello Melanie,
I talked to you once before . I had to have laparoscopy for my blocked tubes. Now I had it done but unfortunately they were able to open only one of the tubes. My question to you is how long after your TR you started TTC. I have first AF today after my tube surgery. do you think i can do ttc this month. any other suggestions from anyone else for positive results. Oh and I am 45 years OLD and no kids so far, have tried 3 IUI, 3 IVF all failure...my RE is the most discouraging DR on the face of this earth....so I had to go out of country to have my tubes open.... BD to all
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Hello, did your dr give you instructions? Mine told me to wait 6 weeks, I o'ed 3days before that and he said it was ok. Good luck and SSBD to All of Us!
Melanie
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hi melanie,
I know that you are trying natural TTC, how do you check for time of Ovulation?
SSBD to you
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Hello, I bought a CBE monitor, also I've used opk's. The truth is I got my bfn today, we tried iui with gonal-f and ovidrel. I'm waiting for AF to start all over again!
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Hi ladies, new to this forum, but feel like I can only talk to people who are going through the same thing as me.  I am 43 and TTC for about 6 months.  I was completely delusional and thought that all I had to do was try - so much for that. Went to RE and was told I needed to pass some tests before Insurance would cover infertility treatment.  I passed (FSH 6.3), but only have 5 months of coverage. This Thursday I will have my LAST diagnostic test (hysteroscopy to see if I have a small fibroid in my uterus).  I think of the 2-3 months wasted with all this testing - so frustrating.  I hate this feeling like I am battling time, but I know that I am.  

I do have children, youngest is 5, and all but gave up the idea of having another.  Then, much to my amazement, someone I know got pregnant at 44 and 10 months (She is almost 6 mos now).  I said to myself "if SHE can do it....."  So here I am, and finding out very quickly that TTC over 40 is not for wimps.

If the hysteroscopy this Thursday identifies a fibroid, I will have it treated and will start TTC at the end of Jan.  My RE has given me the option of gonalf w/IUI or gonalf w/IVF.  I thought I would start with IUI, but since I only have 5 mos of insurance coverage, maybe I should go right to IVF?  I dunno, this is so hard! Any words of wisdom out there from you ladies??  Baby (((Hugs))) to all.
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OH I know, those pre-test took me several months too and I just wanted to get started!!   I also thought I would get pregnant as soon as I went off the pill and when nothing happened for 9 months, I started the tests.  By the time I started treatment, it was six months later!  Now I have been going to RE office for 2.5 years and I am still ttc after many failed IUI's with meds and without.  

Your FSH is great, so you will probably just need some meds to help and will be pregnant soon!

Risa
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Welcome to our group babydreamr!!  This is a wonderful group of ladies with great advice and no.... ttc over 40 is NOT for wimps!  I don't have insurance that covers any infertility, so I'm pretty much on my own.  My ob/gyn has given me clomid for the first time this cycle.  I am now on cd15 and no sign of ovulation, so don't think it is working, we'll see.  Your fsh is very good, but you didn't say what your estradiol level is.  When I had my tested last, my fsh was 5.4, which is excellent but..... estradiol was over 160, bad, bad, bad.  I found out that when estradiol is high, it lowers your fsh, but it is really just a mask.  If I were in your shoes and my estradiol level was also very good, I would probably try a couple cycles of iui, however.... if your insurance runs out in 5 months, I would be inclined to do IVF right away to gather as many eggs as possible, fertilize them and at least freeze them so that if you're not preggo by the time insurance is up, it won't be as expensive to have your embies put back in later if necessary.

I don't know.... just some thoughts.  I do know they say on average it takes 3 iui's to become pregnant.

Best of luck to you and again... welcome!
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Thanks, Risa, I'm so glad I found you all!   FSH is an important hormone, but when it's elevated, its because it's telling our ovaries they need to work harder than they used to.  We all already know that!  I feel like, if we are getting our periods and ovulating every month, then our bodies are trying to get pregnant.  We know our fertility slows as we get older, so for all of us, it just means we wait until the right healthy egg comes around.  We know there are still plenty of good ones in there, and it will come out sooner or later!  

How was your response with injectables? Sounds like your moving in the right directing!  Good luck and sending baby dust to you!

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Thank you for your warm welcome!  My CD3 estradiol level was 50 and my CD10 was 965.  My RE said everything was good, but of course, the most important number is my age.  I know it's just a number, but I also know that it means I have a fair amount of bad eggs mixed in with some healthy ones.  People ARE getting pregnant naturally in their 40's, and so, if they can do it - so can we!

We all obviously have lots in common.  Not only are we all TTC, but we are all determined to do so, despite the fact that Doctor's continually state that anyone over 40 has little chance.  Thank goodness we are all rebels :o)
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You guys are so great.......each time I think to myself whether i should give up, I read the posts and get more determined....

like what babydreamr says, its just a matter of time - finding the good eggs......the more I try, the better results I get in terms of fertilisation and embryo quality....maybe I am getting closer :)

Hugs and SSBD to all!
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Hi,
I actually did better on fermara than injectables.  I only did one cycle of injectables, and this cycle I had to be natural since I was out of town and I ovulated super early!  Since I have been temping, I knew once I saw 98 I probably ovulated, and I had my dr run a progesterone test and it confirmed it. So, my monitor didn't catch the surge this cycle, but I knew it!

So, in the 2ww already! I like my new RE dr so I do have a plan for next cycle if needed. Fermara and possibly IVF or IUI depends on how I respond.  
Sending baby dust!
Risa
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Thank You. That was inspiring. I am preparing myself for a negative Beta test on the 19th and also preparing myself for a 2nd cycle of IVF with Donor Eggs. I too detoxed and exercised before ET.
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Thank You. That was inspiring. I am preparing myself for a negative Beta test on the 19th and also preparing myself for a 2nd cycle of IVF with Donor Eggs. Like you, I too detoxed and exercised before ET. The desire for motherhood makes me live a healthier life.
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There is  a doctor in NYC and he is very affordable
VINCENT BRANDEIS, Board Certified in Reproductive and Endocrinology ...
www.newyorkfertility.com

good luck!
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Hi April and everyone,

I live in NYC and when I began this journey, Dr. Brandeis was the first doctor I went to, mainly because his office is located near where I live. While he is a friendly person, he was not a doctor I wanted to see a second time. His office was empty (bad sign); he was rather late for our appt; without even examining me beyond a verbal discussion, he wanted me to schedule laproscopic surgery with him to make sure everything was ok, yet he didn't seem concerned about doing semen analysis on my boyfriend; he did draw blood to check my FSH levels (I coincidentally was there on day 3 of my cycle), but instead of calling me back that evening with the results as he promised, he took DAYS to get back to me, with me calling several times myself in an attempt to get my results. Finally, he is very difficult to understand because he has this mumbling/low talker thing going on. I'm not discounting any positive experience you had, but wanted to share my own experience as well.

Far and away, I've found the REs in NYC to be exceedingly discouraging and most of the fertility clinics here make you feel like you're on an assembly belt in a factory (including--nay, ESPECIALLY--the ones with the highest ratings). Worse, if you're not a candidate for their specific protocol, they pretty much toss you aside ("your only bet is to use donor eggs.") The REs here made me feel like a 70-year-old woman (at the time I was 42) by constantly telling me how old I was and how it was too late for me and how I had only a 1% chance of ever conceiving with my own eggs. After awhile I stopped going to them, bought the CBE fertility monitor and just started trying on my own but in a halfhearted sort of way.

Well, nobody was more shocked than I when I became pregnant au naturale at 43! Unfortunately, I had an early miscarriage and during that period went to a high-risk ob/gyn (I'd made the appt while I was still pregnant and a friend convinced me to keep it once I was miscarrying so that I could establish a relationship with the doctor for the "next time" I became pregnant.) Well, apparently I chose the one day out of the year that they had an entirely incompetent nurse in the office (sent over from an agency). It is a nightmare story, so I'll skip the details and cut to the chase by telling you that I wound up with an infection that left one of my tubes completely blocked and the other partially blocked. I was told by the office that the nurse was fired the very next day for "endangering their patients." I was DEVASTATED, sickened, angry, depressed--wanted to sue but didn't have the wherewithal/energy to research and contact attorneys. At this same time, I had started going to yet another RE, who promptly told me that I had a subclinical hypothyroidism that could've been responsible for the miscarriage and could've been interfering with my ability to get pregnant all along. Most disconcerting was that my blood work showed, going all the way back to Columbia 18 months before(!), that I'd had the hypothyroidism then, that my numbers were even worse then! But Columbia had never mentioned to to me, probably because they figured I was "too old" to be trying anyway (in conjunction with my high FSH levels).

Let me tell you all something: the RE who diagnosed the hypothyroidism and hydrosalpinx (blocked tube) told me that "barring a miracle," I would never get pregnant again. I was 43 with high FSH (highest was in the 60s!), a hypothyroidism AND one fully blocked tube and one partially blocked tube. He, like everyone else, told me to turn to donor eggs. I came home and cried my eyes out. Felt really depressed and defeated. One month later (3 months after the first pregnancy), I got pregnant au naturale for a SECOND TIME. I walked in to that doctor's office and said, "Well, here I am--your walking, talking miracle."

I did miscarry again, but the point is that even with super high FSH levels and one partially open tube AND with a hypothyroidism and being 43, I was able to get pregnant. Doctors will tell us that we miscarry because our eggs are "old," but they can't know that for sure. I might've miscarried because a perfectly healthy egg was stuck in my partially open tube. I might've miscarried because of the hypothyroidism. Who knows?

Well, my bad news is that since then I've also learned that I have a fibroid in my uterus (can you believe all this?) that's also most likely been there this entire time. So NOW if I want to keep trying, I need to get surgery to shave down the fibroid, I need surgery to remove the blocked tube and I need to take the meds for the hypothyroidism (been looking into other ways of fixing that). I'm now 44 and sooooo sick of doctors and all their errors and their crappy attitudes (mostly). Of all the REs I went to, the one who diagnosed the hypothyroidism is the best as his office is smaller, you get more attention, he listens to what you have to say, but even he puts too much emphasis on age. His name, if anyone's interested, is Dr. Hugh Melnick, located on the Upper East Side.

I'm now not only considering a donor egg but also a surrogate (in India). We are at a place of really weighing our options and we want to choose carefully since everything now seems to cost about $30,000 (or more) and we want to make the choice that will most likely result in a baby for us. It has been extremely difficult for me to let go of the idea of having my own biological child--especially since my mother died 10 years ago, my father is sick and my brother will most likely not have his own children--but I'll be 45 this summer and I have to ask myself if it's a family I'm after or simply own child. If I can't have my own child, do I give up on the idea of parenting? And how long to I wait before I say, "Time to move forward"? Do I want to be 50 with a newborn or is it time to look at alternative ways of creating a family?

When considering donor eggs, I initially thought I'd carry the baby myself but that puts me back in a place of needing the surgeries, meds, etc. And there have been so many missed or ignored medical issues by the doctors that I'm not sure I trust them to accurately give me a clean bill of health, if I do undergo the surgeries.

Anyway, I'm digressing. My point is that I think many of you DO have a good chance of having your own baby, in spite of what the doctors say. In my particular case, it was when I got away from the doctors and the meds that I became pregnant twice. The second time, for the record, I'd been doing acupuncture and taking herbs, though not religiously. I certainly wish everyone lots of luck!!

:)

Breezy
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Hi breezy, I will also be 45 in June. I had my tubes untied in September, did the ivf and fet thing prior to the reversal. I'm so sad today, I thought I might have a positive 12 d past trigger, but today, it was neg. So either instill have a chance or not, how many iui's do I go through, ivf is out. I seem to be fertile although my EGGS are OLD....
Good luck on your journey
Melanie
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Congrats on getting your tubes untied! Why is IVF out for you? I was never "allowed" to try IVF due to my high FHS levels, although I was seriously considering natural cycle IVF when we discovered (discovered? It had been there all along) the uterine fibroid. I'm still toying with the idea of retrieving the single egg my body releases for a few cycles, just to know for sure that they really are of poor quality. If I go that route and if I get lucky enough to get a good egg, I would then consider the surgeries and hypothyroid meds and possibly have the fertilized egg implanted back inside me. But I would also consider going with a surrogate who's successfully given birth before. The problem is the cost of all this stuff, which is why we keep returning to the idea of a donor egg and surrogate in India. If we had enough money for it, I would suck it up and try natural cycle IVF every month!

Melanie, it's really difficult to know how many times you should try IUI. I tried IUI once, clomid once (not at all good for my body--caused lots of bleeding and other problems) and follistim twice. None of it resulted in pregnancy. The two times I did get pregnant, we simply had good old-fashioned sex when the CBE fertility monitor said it was time! The second time I got pregnant, I was sick with a bad cold but tried anyway. I've always suspected the cough medicine helped in that case but b/c one tube is totally blocked and the other is only partially open, it's likely that the egg couldn't make it all the way through.

I have a close friend who also did all the fertility clinic stuff to no avail. She too got fed up, cast it aside, started doing acupuncture and herbs and wound up with a healthy pregnancy at age 41. When that daughter was 1, they decided to try for another and successfully got pregnant soon after, only to miscarry. Well, the very SAME CYCLE she miscarried, she got pregnant again and now has two healthy daughters (second was born when she was 43).

I also have another friend who ACCIDENTALLY got pregnant at 42! She too has a healthy baby girl.

And perhaps the most encouraging story I have is of the friend of my coworker/friend. This woman and her husband tried to have a baby in their late 30s and early 40s. They tried all the fertility treatments to no avail and after much disappointment finally made the decision to give up. As the years passed, they took care of their ailing parents and lived their lives. Then at 49, the woman believed she was going through the beginnings of menopause when she didn't get her period. They were so shocked when they learned that she was actually pregnant!! They actually talked about aborting, but in the end they decided to go forward with it. Well, the woman gave birth to a healthy-in-every-way baby girl at age 50!!!!! That little girl is now 4 years old. Unfortunately the husband of this woman/father of their daughter was diagnosed with stomach cancer last year and soon after passed away, so this woman is now raising her daughter by herself, but she is so grateful that she has her. When I told this story to an RE, he said it sounded like an urban myth, which was infuriating. My friend/coworker is CLOSE FRIENDS with this woman.

Anyway, the point is that we DO still have good eggs--it's just a matter of catching the right one. And for me personally, acupuncture, herbs, supplements, exercise, enough sleep and laughter is the best medicine. The meds I took via the clinics did more harm to my body than good--I think they worked to make my hormonal balances worse than they were. But they have been good for many women, so everyone has to make their own choice as to how to proceed.

As I said last time, I'm getting tired of fighting the good fight. I feel like every time I make a decision to move forward on something, there's a new obstacle. It's one thing to say, "Okay, I'll try these meds," or "I'll change my diet." It's another to get pregnant, miscarry and THEN find out you have a hypothyroidism, even though you were tested 18 months before. It's hard because you wonder if that hypothyroidism is what caused the miscarriage. But then you suck it up and keep going. And then you learn that due to a doctor and nurse's incompetence, you now have one fully blocked tube and another partially blocked tube. So then you sort of overcome that bit of devastating news and make the decision to try natural cycle IVF--let's bypass the now-blocked tubes. But then you bleed for 18 days and learn that you have a uterine fibroid that the doctors NOW say you have to get surgically removed before you can proceed. So you go to the surgeon and she tells you that fibroids are slow growing and that yours had to be there for some time. Actually, the doctors did always say you had a fibroid but that it wasn't in a place that would interfere with pregnancy. Well, the bleeding resulted in an ultrasound that says otherwise. It says, "Yes, the fibroid would ABSOLUTELY interfere with not only your ability to stay pregnant but your ability to get pregnant in the first place."

All of this is so frustrating to me. After my second miscarriage, I spent thousands of dollars on acupuncture and herbs and now I learn there's been a fibroid there the entire time? What is wrong with these doctors??? They're so dismissive and they really don't pay attention to what might be the problem because they're SO MARRIED to the idea that if your FSH levels are high, you simply can't get pregnant.

Whew, okay, I have to calm down. I apologize for my insane rant. Obviously I have a lot of frustration/anger, which is why I'm now looking into a donor egg with surrogate. The doctors have failed me at every turn while simultaneously convincing me that my body is not "good enough" to conceive/carry a pregnancy. But writing all this has renewed my strength a little bit. Maybe I will get the damn surgeries and try the natural cycle IVF. It's just that funds are limited so if that doesn't work, I'm not sure we'd have enough money to move on to surrogate and donor egg in India. We've never decided though that we'd definitely do that--have just been researching it as of late.

Melanie, if you can afford it, I strongly recommend acupuncture and herbs. I really believe it works, but be sure you find a fertility acupuncturist.

Hugs,
Breezy
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Hi Breezy,
I always enjoy reading your post when you pop in every so often.  I agree acupuncture and herbs are great! Since starting herbs and acupuncture my period has gone for 3 days, one med two light to five days, two heavy, two med, and one light. I know the blood flow has increased back like when I was young!  I decide to do a medicated cycle this cycle, but am still taking lots of good vitamins and acupuncture weekly!!! I am lucky to have found someone that is not that pricey and easy to work with. She is also like a counselor, she listens and is encouraging every cycle.  I think she is helping me emotional too.

I wish you luck as you search for your new plan.  I started thyroid meds in Aug since my tsh was at 3.6.  Feeling like that was a good move.  People have said cough medicine does help around ovulation, so you are right on that one.  Keep us posted on what you decide to do next!

Risa
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Thank you so much, I did IVF in May at 43, I made 18 follicles, 11 fertilized. We transferred 3 ( I was told we would transfer 4, but when I went for the transfer the "on call" RE said only 2 were called in and they only hatched 2, I was so mad that they gave me 2 hatched and 1 not. I didn't understand that I was 43 and how did 4go down to 2, I found out my RE was afraid, she never thought I would be so fertile, but I'm still 43! So with my big heart ache, we managed to freeze 7, I felt a little better, so now in July on to FET, waited til my legs were up to tell me 1 survived....I was crushed, pissed and thought maybe they just took my $.
  So August we decided that if we had out tubes untied and with a CBE monitor we could keep trying, the TR was $7800.00. So total we spent about $25,000.00 our life savings, we did look into Shady Grove, they have a shared program with a refund with donor eggs,but the dr. Kinda made me mad when I told him I was considering a TR, he said don't waste your money, it's not going to work....boy he really knew how to make me feel bad, he didn't know anything about me, just that I was 44. My FSH is 7.0 and my AMH is 5.6, I just have to find that good egg! I pray that I do!
I am 12dpiui and so far bfn...my beta is Monday!  I pray this works
Thank you Breezy, i pray you get some clarity on what path you need to follow!
Hugs and SSBD
Melanie
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