TTC Over 40 User Group
any hope getting preggo 1st time after 40
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support group for women who are trying to conceive or have conceived a child over the age of forty

Founded by naturschld on October 1, 2009
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any hope getting preggo 1st time after 40

Thanks for starting this Forum, great Idea...I have just turned 42 and wondering if there is anyone out there in my same situation? I was pregnant once in my life at age 34, terrible relationship so I did not keep the baby, (which i regret today) I was 3 days late when I terminated the pregnancy not sure what would have happened with pregnancy if things were different. I never got pregnant when I was younger, ignorant, and did not always use birth control. Looking back, I guess if I had tried to get pregnant then, I may have had fertility problems. I started trying to get pregnant at age 40 to no avail, I did one round of IVF at age 41 with 5 embies transfered with no luck..I have decided to try once again on my own and then go the donor egg route. It seems that many of the people trying to conceive after age 40 have already had children when they were younger, and seem to have a better chance of getting pregnant. Is there anyone out there who has never gotten pregnant before and has gotten pregnant now after age 40?? I am also on the over 35 forum and have been given great advice as well as hope, thanks for any comments you may have. Good luck to all!!
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29 Comments
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938718_tn?1323787114
My first pregnancy was at 40 but it was cornual ectopic and ended in an autoimmune response that literally knocked me off my feet for about a year.  That one took 4 stimulated IUIs.  As soon as I was off pain killers and other medications, we started TTC again.  It took us 5 tries (stimulated IUIs) and I'm now 20 weeks pregnant and all is well.  I'm 41 and will be 42 when I deliver.  I haven't been identified as high risk by the OB, which was shocking to me because of all of the hype.  The moral of the story for me was to ignore the hype and stay positive.  Good luck!
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377493_tn?1356505749
I started trying to conceive at 37 and got pregnant the first time just before my 38th pregnancy.  I proceeded to miscarry 5 times in a row.  I am now 23 weeks with a healthy boy at age 40 (due on my 41st bday).  It will be my first child.  All my pregnancies were naturally conceived.  
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Avatar_f_tn
Absolutely, it's possible. I know of a few on here who have and a few people I've met in lfe. You should look at some past posts in the Over 35 forum. Some of the stories they share are so inspiring. Good luck to you! :)
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1006003_tn?1256231015
Hi!  There are lots of us out here trying! I'm 44, TTC #1.

There is always hope. Don't worry about statistics. Many women are not fertile into their 40s, it's true - but some women ARE! It's a simple fact, irrefutible, and it's all we have to go on. Good enough for me!

Best wishes,
~Wendy
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674725_tn?1367443230
Justtoolate,

I'm 41now and I got pregnant twice. Although they didn't work out - I haven't given up hope. There are many women I met last year on the miscarriage forum who are now pregnant or have given birth - they've got their happy endings and you will too. So you don't give up  and I'm going to call you "NOTtoolate" instead of "justtoolate" - sticky sticky baby dust all over you - everyone dump some on her !  Good luck !  
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413852_tn?1317312312
It's Definitely possible & there are many successful stories on MH to prove it. ;o)
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1066572_tn?1296243601
I just turned 42 last week.  TTC for years.  First round of IVF with 4 embryos transferred at 3 days on Oct 3rd.  Just got my first beta test back today and it is positive at 105!  

Do not give up hope - it can happen to anyone.  I'll keep you all posted on my progress.
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1027304_tn?1333977006
I am also 42 and TTC with my new DH.   He has never had a child, however I just like you got pregnant at 34.    I was also in a bad relationship, but I did keep the baby and have a beautiful 8 year old girl.   I have finally found the love of my life and so want to give him a child, but I also am hoping I'm not too late.   We have been trying since February.    In August we went to a fertility clinic and set up a plan for Femara, Gonal-F and IUI.    I got pg on my own before I ever started the plan, but then had a miscarriage at 6 wk 1 day on September 8.   I am now on CD 7 and am taking Femara and starting the Gonal-F injections tonight.  I'm doing an IUI hopefully on the 22nd.    I'm wishing and praying and wishing and praying as hard as I can, but I can't help but wonder if I'm too late.   My FSH test was 13,  but the RE told me when he looked at the ultrasound last Sunday that it would be higher, but I've already beaten the statistics by getting pg on my own, so chances are better than most in my situation.   I so hope he is right.  

What have you tried so far?
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760556_tn?1255708681
Thanks for sharing, I tried IVF in july, they transferred 5 embies with no luck. My FSH is 12 and I had a blocked tube that was opened but it is dilated, so not sure it works. I would even be happy with an early miscarrage (miscarriage) (I know that sounds crazy) but at least I would know I could get pregnant and if all else fails, I could do a donor egg.
Good luck to you I hope to hear of another BFP that sticks...
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1027304_tn?1333977006
Thanks so much, I'm hoping for a BFP too, but unfortunately the more I know....the worse I feel. :)

I'm already panicking and jumping right to thoughts of...do I need a donor egg.   but I hate to go down that road if I don't have too.

Good luck, I'll keep you in my thoughts.   Let me know how things are going

Big hugs to you
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Avatar_f_tn
I fell pregnant for the first time, the first month we tried when I was 42 years and 3 months old and my daughter was born when I was 43. The pregnancy was easy and my baby is strong and healthy!

My best friend fell pregnant the second month she tried when she was 42 years and six months old. She had a good pregnancy and has a healthy son.

My advice would be, take control of your situation and make any necessary lifestyle changes that you need to make, get regular exercise, take vitamins and eat lots of fruit and vegetables. Your partner should also do the same. Get interested in your monthly cycle and look for all the fertility signs and use an ovulation predictor kit. Stay positive and keep trying - because it does happen!

I wish you all the luck in the world!
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509879_tn?1259342551
Hi All!

I'm 43 and have been TTC for 18 months. My FSH levels are high, so I'm not a candidate for IVF, but I have tried clomid (would never do again--caused a lot of bleeding and problems for me) and follistim, plus one IUI cycle. None of it worked. I went to 4 different fertility clinics in NYC and they all told me that my chances are extremely low with one place giving me an only 1% chance and the other three giving me 3-5% odds. I got so sick of hearing their negativity and how "old" I am that I finally bought a Clear Blue Easy Fertility Monitor and started trying to conceive naturally with my DH. We didn't have a lot of hope or expectation, but figured we'd at least try. Well, 2 days ago, I found out that I'm 2 weeks pg!!! My story doesn't have a happy ending b/c my hCG levels are falling (down to 13 today), so the doctor has told me to prepare for miscarriage (however you're supposed to do that), but the point is that I DID get pregnant, even though I have high FSH levels, advanced maternal age and was given very dire odds. Of course we are going to continue trying on our own and hope that next time it "sticks."

Good luck to all of us!
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509879_tn?1259342551
P.S. I forgot to mention that I have NEVER been pg before. This is my very first time.

I also forgot to mention that a good friend of mine tried for 15 cycles at age 40. She also tried different fertility drugs to no avail, but finally conceived naturally and now has a beautiful one-year-old daughter. She recently learned she was pregnant again (she's now 42), but she miscarried, bled for 6 days, ovulated on day 11 and found out she is pg AGAIN on day 21!! She's is one month along. Before her first daughter at 40, she had also never been pg.

Finally, I have yet another friend who is 42. She has two grown daughters, but recently got pg ACCIDENTALLY and just gave birth to a new daughter!

So it can be done, ladies. I recommend educating yourselves as much as possible, taking care of yourself and not listening to the negativity out there. I know it's hard not to get discouraged, but if you just keep at it, it can happen! :)
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413852_tn?1317312312
Breezy!!!

Thank you so very much for sharing all this GREAT news! It is very encouraging. Women really need to know that it is VERY possible to get pregnant @ 40+. A friend of mine was NOT trying to get pregnant, she thought she was ready for menopause...thought she was experiencing systems for it, but found out she was pregnant. She was in labor for maybe 2 hrs., no meds used & she delivered a beautiful babygirl naturally. Oh, I forgot to mention that she was 46 when she got pregnant---NATURALLY & delivered @ 47. ;o)

Be Encouraged Ladies...

--Savanha
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1066572_tn?1296243601
Hello -

I just got my second beta back today and it came in at 300.  Am 42, first time pregnant with IVF.  I had doubts too, but decided that I'll never be satisfied unless I tried.  I am paying for everything out of my own pocket.  Figured since the success rate of donor eggs was so high (at any age) that I'd try for a few years, and if that didn't work, then would use donor eggs.

Ultrasound scheduled for Nov 2nd.

Keep up your hopes.

Kathy
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1076696_tn?1283033325
I've been looking for an online group to join, and after reading the posts in this forum, and especially the conversation here in this thread, I'm thinking this will be a good place, though I tend to be a lurker more than a talker.

I'm 43 (and 9 months!), and TTC in various ways since age 31 (many ICI, IUI, and one IVF with 3 transferred, out of all of this, an early miscarriage at 34). Like Breezy300, I went to a clinic in NYC, one that is supposed to be one of the best in the country. After about a ten minute consultation I was told by the first doctor I saw that my chances are around 1%, but when I reached my next birthday in a few months, they will be absolutely zero--because (he told me) no woman at 44 has ever had a live birth with her own eggs. Since I'd be paying out of pocket, he said I shouldn't spend the money (which I've been saving all year for this purpose). He told me outright that any woman 44 or older who claims she gave birth with her own eggs is lying and is using donor eggs. I pretty much cried for a week, then by chance had to change an appointment time and see a different doctor at the practice for a SHG (? the test where they inflate the uterus with saline and do an ultrasound). I went in feeling embarrassed to be wasting his time. But he was upbeat, positive, and did not question my age at all. One of the nurses heavily hinted that many people switch to that doctor. I have an appointment with him this Thursday.

In any case, after that, I decided to look for a group to join, googled all over, and then I read this thread. All the positive support for justtoolate (here's hoping that's not true!), and the stories of success, or the glimmers of success, have really raised my spirits. I hope I can contribute to the community in some way.

Best to all.
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Avatar_f_tn
Hello,
I got pregnant the first time I tried naturally at 41.  My daughter was born when I was 42.   My pregnancy was great, and my 2 year old daughter is still as healthy  and lovely as can be.  I have always had a healthy lifestyle, but the year prior to trying, I got regular acupuncture treatment for fertility  and ate incredibly well.  I exercised a lot also too.   I have just tried again for the first time for a another.  I weaned my little one 2 months ago, and my cycles seem much healthier.  Someone in management asked me after the birth of my daughter if I wanted another.  Yes I said, but I'm so  old.  She laughed and said her husband's mom was 50 when she got pregnant with him.  
If I went to a fertility clinic at 41, they would have pushed ivf with donor eggs.

I highly recommend reading the following book: The Fertile Female: How the Power of Longing for a Child Can Save Your Life and Change the World by Julia Indichova.  The book is about empowering yourself to listen to your own body.  Her FSH was in the 40s, and she was told she would not be able to have a child.  She dramatically changed her lifestyle, her FSH lowered, and she went back to an RE to see if she was now eligible for IVF with her own eggs.  Guess what...she got pregnant naturally around the same time and gave birth to a healthy girl.  She writes beautifully.  A very good read, inspiring and thought provoking.

Good luck,
Theresa
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1027304_tn?1333977006
I just had an u/s today, I've been using Femara and Gonal-F.   I am on CD 10 and have 3 follies.   I'm excited, but also reserved, knowing at age 42 I'm basically praying for a miracle.   I am having IUI either Thursday or Friday,

Good luck to all of us.
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509879_tn?1259342551
I love you guys (gals)! I'm so happy to be here and to hear all the encouraging stories!

I also have a coworker who has a friend who tried for many years to get pg in her late 30s/early 40s. Eventually she and her DH gave up and turned their attention to taking care of ailing parents.

Well guess what? At 50, she found out she was pg! They were shocked as they had long ago given up and just assumed contraception wasn't an issue. They went forth with it and now they're the happy parents of a little girl!

Doctors who say that any woman who says she got pg with her own eggs is lying are very narrow-minded. I believe their negativity is toxic to our fertility. We must all surround ourselves with people who believe in the possibility of our fertility! To that end, I would love any recommendations of good REs ob/gyns here in NYC--people who are positive about ama.

Good luck to us all!
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1076696_tn?1283033325
Thank you so much for sharing the story about the 50 year old mom. All it takes is that One Good Egg we know is there :)

I'll let you know after Thursday how my appointment with the second doctor goes! So far, he has a positive attitude, but we shall see. I liked the positivity of the staff and the very personal attention at Westchester Fertility in White Plains, but I think the trips back and forth from where I live were too stressful (when I had to take public transportation, that was way too long alone with my thoughts on a bus). I work in NYC, so it's much easier to combine doctor visits in Manhattan with my work schedule. And, nice as the other staff were, I never did get pregnant there, though I did meet a woman successfully carrying triplets (!).
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Avatar_f_tn
My fraternal twin sister conceived naturally last November at age 42 and just gave birth to a healthy baby boy in November.  I know two women among my mother's friends who gave birth at ages 42 and 43.  They were surprise pregnancies for both of these women, who had already established their families.  

I've naturally conceived 4 times in my 40s but have had trouble sustaining them.  I went to a clinic last December looking for answers and my RE found I have some elevated antibodies that may have contributed to my losses. When I first met with him I was devastated by his attitude.  He has kind of changed his tune since he found out about my sister, but his negativity profoundly affected me this past year.  

It's only now that I feel strong and immune from his attitude.  
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674725_tn?1367443230
Hi Everyone,

I've been a lurker but, had to comment.  Thanks soooooo much for all these happy stories - gives me so much hope when you "know someone who knows someone" who had successful pregnancies.   To those who didn't take "no" for an answer from their doctors - kudos to you !  
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1021834_tn?1379295900
I had my first child at 39 naturally and am trying for #2.  I will be 42 in 9 days (so not thrilled about that) :)  but I think there's still a good chance of it happening for all of us.  I was an "oops" baby when my mom was 43.  SSBD to everyone!
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Avatar_f_tn
It is so encouraging to hear from the 40 and over crowd.  I am doing my first IVF after 5 IUIs failed and expect to have retrieval and transfer next week.  It is a tough process and I am doing this as a single woman so it is nice to find this forum.

Best to all,
Callie
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Avatar_f_tn
And I turned 42 two weeks ago!
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413852_tn?1317312312
Welcome Callie & Happy Birthday to ya. ;o) RSSBD to ya.
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1106767_tn?1315054574
I just want to send baby dust to all you women and keep up the inspiring stories as we all need them to keep going and to not give up hope and be positive xxx
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1106767_tn?1315054574
I want to add the fact that my doctor gave me a 5% chance of conceiving naturally,and advised that it would be very unlikely and that ivf would be my best option.I was very down after he told me this but now all the success stories we keep hearing about really help and give us all that hope we are all looking for xxx
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1006003_tn?1256231015
Yes indeedy! Can't second that more!
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