15 year old girl, 16th birthday tomorrow. Depressed and Alone.
First off: I don't do drugs, drink any alcohol, or cut myself. I used to be pretty popular, but now my friends seem distant. I’m having trouble concentrating, but my grades haven’t dropped. I feel like I have been acting cold, and I cry over little things now. I feel sad often, but I’m not sure why. I'm not suicidal, but I have had some thoughts about what would happen if I did die. I would never commit it though, that’s just wasting life. I don't go out anymore at all. I never call and barely text my friends. I used to want to apply to a competitive college, but now I think I would just get rejected, and I should probably settle for less (even though I have had all A’s my entire life). I haven’t done any activities I used to enjoy. They don’t seem fun now. I sleep A LOT now. My eating habits haven't changed all that much, but my weight has been fluctuating a lot (dropped 7 pounds in about a month, gained some, dropped it, etc. I used to be 107 pounds… now I’m 99.5) I can’t ask for help from my family, they would just think I’m making a big deal out of nothing. Whenever I cry they just tell me to suck it up and that I have no reason to. I am more anti social now, but I still do talk to people. I have waited a while and this hasn’t just gone away. A doctor won’t help.
Tomorrow is my 16th birthday, and I am not having a party or hanging out with friends. I’ve kind of pushed my friends away and whenever I mention my birthday my parents ignore it. I don’t really know what to do. And I also have school tomorrow, so I am going to have homework also. What should I do? I have been depressed since I was about in 8th grade (it has been gradually getting worse) and now that it is my birthday tomorrow and I just realized how alone I feel. How do you think I can feel better and how do you think I can spend my birthday alone?
I've went through and am still going through a lot of these things that you have said . It actually helps to know I'm not a lone also. I used to be depressed when i was really young without knowing it, and it started when i was about 13 probably and now I'm 21 so i feel your pain. I cry almost every night , and i always feel like I'm nothing or not worth caring about. I do have some experience with going to therapy so maybe I can try to help the best I can. I got diagnosed with anxiety, then depression, and then borderline personality disorder and it's very frustrating because I'm seeing a new therapist and she is trying to re diagnose me. With what you said I think that you are depressed obviously and maybe have some anxiety. But i can't diagnose you all i can do is try to help. I think you have the same thing as me like you would never commit suicide ever and you know that but you have thoughts of it from time to time? I have that too. It's called suicidal ideation which simply put is just thoughts . Im sorry that it's your birthday and that you feel a lone . You are not a lone as much as you feel that way there are so many people that feel your pain or have felt it. With your friends maybe right now you just need to focus on yourself and figure out what is making you sad if it means ignoring them that's ok because you need to put yourself first. If i were you i would just do as much research on the internet as you can don't listen to everything don't think you have everything just be easy on yourself and believe in yourself.
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