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Avatar universal

15 yrs old. I'm done...

I have had depression for at least 3 years now. I recently got out of depression ward at hospital after I told my guidance counsellor I was going to suicide. I'm now on Prozac and see therapists regularly. The thing is nothing has changed. I've come to realize no matter what pills they give me and no matter who talks to me, nothing will help me and no one will ever understand. I am super smart at everything and its not like anything in my life is super bad. My family doesn't eat along but that's not like something that you should commit suicide over. The thing is my intelligenc has lead me to suicide. Simple as that. Just over thinking everything. I really don't see a light at the end of the tunnel. I've told my whole family, doctors. What's it done? Nothing. I had some hope that some pill would magically turn things around, but nope, it would be too good to be true. Why continue when there is not one ape of happiness anywhere and all I get is suffering and emptiness? And no, I'm not just going to wait for things to gt better, they don't just 'get better'. I would be surprised if any person bothered answering me.
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Avatar universal
In fifth geprade I almost sliced open my wrists in front of 300+ people due to bullying. I am an intelligent person as well. But you know what-suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I love asking questions and writing them all into colorful, action packed comic books I draw by hand. Nothing makes me feel more pride than being able to do, or know things a ton of people don't in a way that makes me a bully-but what's so bad about being too smart? He'll, Einstein didn't graduate high school. Neither did Bill Gates. But I fixed my depression by doing what I love. Drawing and writing comics. As a teenager on antidepressants that "won't work" you might want to bark at the docs and ask if they are placibos. A smart person like you might have already considered this BUUUUUTTTTT-just wanting to cover all bases here...in any case I hear video games are great therapy in any way. When I feel mad or upset, I play resident evil 4 for Wii. Because I don't feel like using the joy stick to aim. Or if I just want to pass the time, I play a Mario game or Spyro. Something. Art does its trick and getting into a class where you paint what you feel can open a window into your mind to view. Plus you get to finger paint. :-P
If this still isn't helping, at least know someone still cared, a stranger, that has been there and wanted to help...
To boot I'm not even on meds.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
First off, suicide is not the answer! Trust me, I know how you are feeling and it ***** to be in the place you're at now. I have been dealing with depression since I was 13 and now I am 19. I have been on prozac and it didn't help me either. It took me about 6 different meds to find the right one but meds won't be the only thing. Continuing therapy and finding the right meds is what will help. I tried to commit suicide back in November and thankfully I did not succeed. Life is hard and I understand that but it is worth living! Continue therapy and talk to them about trying a different med. It may take a while to find the right med but once you do, its worth it. I am available to talk anytime if you want! I really do understand how you are feeling and I know sometimes suicide seems like the answer, but its not!
Helpful - 0
2004449 tn?1327703702
I know how you feel. I am not on any medication and people would want my ordinary life. i dont get why im sad at all. i also cant promise you that life will get better but i promise you that you arent alone.
i know this is the worse response you probably will get but i wouldnt give up even if who knows what happens. you just have to do whatever to tell life to suck it and that your done with is crap and yell at the world to bring it on. and i will be here if you need anything c:
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