Anxiety/Depression/Paranoia Symptoms?

My name is Jessica. I am 15 years old and believe that I have been struggling with anxiety symptoms since I was a child. However, I have learned to be able to channel out everything until this year especially. I'm currently in my sophomore year of highschool and have began to withdraw a lot from activities I normally enjoy and all of my friends other than one.

There have been many different feelings and symptoms I have been encountering making believe I have some sort of issue, but then again I feel this could be just normally teenager stuff and I don't want to over-react. My older sister was told by my doctor that she has a social anxiety and I feel that a lot of attention has been on her. I am afraid of speaking up to my mom and asking to go to the doctor's because I don't want to make it seem like a cry for attention. When I get stressed out I don't think that my mom sees how much it takes a toll on me. I feel like it is something that I can't just shake by going and doing something "relaxing," nothing relaxes me. I am even a bit afraid to go to the doctor's because I am scared of him telling me there is something terribly wrong with me and that I am going to die. Since the beginning of September, I have not been feeling myself and I have no idea where it has come from. I cry very often and I have become extremely unstable, and it feels like no one can relate. My sleeping habits have always been bad, but they have gotten extremely unbearable. I have a really hard time falling asleep at night and even when I do, when I wake up in the morning it feels like I haven't slept at all. When something bad happens at school, I go home and dwell on it for hours. It feels like the littlest things upset me that others wouldn't even think twice about. Sometimes I get scared I'm even crazy for worrying as often as I do. I have been developing headaches and I have not been eating properly at all. When I go through my periods of depression I don't want to eat at all, but then when I am with my friends, I am so happy it almost feels like euphoria. Then after a few good days I just go back down. I have nightmares quite often and especially I have lately had extremely disturbing dreams including being sexually abused and neglected by all of my loved ones. I put all of my efforts into my schoolwork and even with good grades I still feel like I am doing as well as I should be. I feel no matter what I do, I can't impress anyone. My friends, my parents, my teachers, especially myself. I feel like no one cares about me and quite frankly I don't feel like I care about anything or anyone at this point either. I have lost all of my self- confidence and I have just all around become extremely unhappy with everything about myself. At this point, I don't know what I should do- I have felt like this my whole life but it has been extremely potent this schoolyear.

Should I talk to some one, or do I just need to suck it up?

[dazedandconfussed27]

" I cry very often and I have become extremely unstable, and it feels like no one can relate." -- i know that it may seem like no one understands, but im 15 too and i feel the same way you do. everything youve said makes me think of myself. i thought i was alone but im starting to realize there's others out there like me.

Do not just suck it up, even though thats what ive been doing, i think that theres hope for all of us. we need to talk to someone about it. im thinking of talking to my mom when she gets home from work. i cant take this feeling of being alone anymore.

[PetarGrifun]

Yeah Do not Suck it up, Hey listen Jessica, I'm kind of in the same shoes you're in right now, that's the reason why I got on this forum,
One question, do you get the feelings of the "Butterflies in the stomach" But they're so unbearable and Annoying and they're there for no reason?

[dazedandconfussed27]

petargrifun..i get those sometimes.. i think we are all in the same situation right now..

[Alex_X_18]

I struggled with very similar symptoms through highschool and some of college.
I got on medication and this helps downd out the anxiety illogical thinking and paranoia that I have
and helps me to focus clearly on things like school or relationships so I can return to feeling normal.
you may have some type of anixety disorder or depression this is treatable with medication but I can't say for sure only a phychtrist can dignose you with one of these conditions I would suggest telling your mother you need to see one to help you figure out what is causing all this and what medication can help.

[DeadontheInside]

I'm 15 and this story could not have relate to me any more. I know for a fact that I'm diagnosed with social anxiety disorder after reading this: http://www.socialphobia.org/whatis.html. Trust me, that site is really eye opening and explains alot about why you feel the way you do, I'm so lucky to have found it.

Definitely do not suck it up, there's still hope (atleast that's what I believe after reading that website). Trust me, alot of what I read on these forums, teens haven't consulted with therapists/psychologists, etc because they are too insecure and irrational (according to the website) that people would think of them as wanting attention but how do you know that for a fact until you actually consult with your mom and ask her if she feels that way.

Infact, it may very well be the other way around and she might be worrying about what's bothering you instead but is too worried that you wouldn't communicate with her and put her off.


Trust me, you'd want help before this develops into something worse, depression and I can tell you from experience that you will end up being a loner from it (I always envision my future as a loner because of how I isolate myself from others because of this depression and social anxiety order and how I'll never be anything in life).

Good luck.

[cb360]

Hi

Im 16 and live in England, i have been feeling really down and low lately, i have since i was young had problems with starnge thoughts about things going fast and like im on rollercoster, i have recently become very anxious and also quite paranoid over stupid things and wonder if it all links to Paranoia or not, i also get headaches and feel sick sometimes, i also dont want to eat, i feel very secluded sometimes and get very upset, when i get to sleep i wake up and feel really tired stil just like you, i feel bad for my family and my girlfriend, i want to have a normal  life, i had help from someone for a while, but it didnt help much and now its got worse i am going back to the doctor to talk more about it, i also find it hard to now notice the positive in my life

I wish you all the best and i know its hard to understand but loads of people have probelms such as this and their own problems so your not alone

Best Wishes

Callum

[wolftrak]

Jessica, I am a mother of a teenage daughter so reading your letter broke my heart, especially since as a teenager myself I went through something very similar.  It was dehibilitating.  The good news is that although it tooks several years I recovered to about 95%.  I still suffer from occassional anxiety but for the most part I am very together and very happy.  You will get better too but it does require some effort and your part and the people around you.  My first suggestion is that your mother needs to know about this.  If you have a hard time talking to her, or you feel she is not understand I suggest printing your posting that I just read and give it to her.  It is well written and explains exactly how you feel.  If it touched my heart and made me want to help it will touch her as well.  Second peice of advice is to have an assessment done by a phychiatrist.  Although anxiety can make you feel like something really bad is going to happen be assured that anxiety is not going to kill you.  You need to get help and there are all kinds of treatment, whether it be learning different coping mechanisms or medication, the doctor is there to help you.  Please do these two things to help yourself Jessica and I know you will get better in time.  Keep me posted, best wishes.  Leanne

[WthWtf]

Im 17 i hate my life
i feel like nobody wants me but i also know that if i kill myself they will miss me and i dont want to hurt anyone around me.
i've tried suicide before by drugs abuse and i think of killing myself every time i have a fight with my dad or whenever i feel sad. but i always think to myself in the end that im too chicken to do it again.
i feel like iv'e had the worst childhood ever, where i was passed around like a ball between my mum, grandparents n now dad. i feel like i have no real 'home' i cant wait to get out of here and live on my own but coming from the sort of family im from that is not an option.
im also pretty sure im paranoid. whenever im online chatting to my boyfriend or talking to him or anybody on the phone i feel like my dad is listening or that he's outside my room even though i live downstairs and he's up.
whenever i go out i feel like he's there or that i might see his car,
for the past 4 years of my life iv'e been drawing eyes which apparently symbolises paranoia
im always tired, sleepy, sometimes i dont eat for days without getting hungry sometimes i wont stop eatin. i have no real plans for the future as i strongly believe im going to end up killing myself before starting a family.
i can't study because my mind is always occupied with something else.
sometimes for no reason what so ever my eyes tear up and i feel like crying all night. im not close to my family that much
all these make me sure im depressed but then i go to school
and i am a completely different person
i am the life of the class, i make all the jokes, im the funny one who cheers everyone up, i tell my friends my problems, that made me stay up all night and cry, with laughter as if it's a joke and i don't know why.
when im around others, im completely different to the depressed girl i am at home. im confused about this part
im always doing things to pass time
to just
get it all over and done with i have no motivation for anything.
my step mum takes anti depressants should i take some from her? should i leave it? is it just a 'teenage phase' ?

[wolftrak]

Please don't take your Moms mediication, it could seriously mess you up.  You need to talk to someone close to you about how you feel and I recommend getting professional help.  A doctor will access whether you need medication or not and can perscribe the right med and dosage for you.  A professional might also determine that you don't need medication and that you can be helped in other ways ie by managing anxiety.  Also drawing eyes could mean you are worried about people watching you but not necessarily.  Many teenagers draw eyes because they are interesting and simply fun to draw.  It is very common.  I hope you are feeling better as of late.  Keep me posted, best wishes to you.    

[FifthVoice]

Hey There,
When I went into grade 8 (which was my first year of highschool), my depression and anxiety became unbearable. Up until that point I could "manage it on my own", and keep it "hidden" even when it got bad. But when additional social pressures are added, your emotions end up on a real roller-coaster ride - and "sucking it up" is not going to help in the long run. From around age 13 or so until your early twenties, your brain is also re-wiring itself, which creates an additional emotional toll. Not the time to go using drugs or un-prescribed medications! It can do some serious damage.
It is very important to talk to a doctor! If they decide you do need meds, a psychiatrist (a good one!) can help get you on the right ones for you. Sometimes it takes a long time to find it, or your body chemistry may change and you might have to switch meds. But it that's what you need, along with talk therapy (Always! Meds on their own don't provided you "coping tools") it makes a world of difference! It took me several years to get the right one for me, but my depression has been under control for years now, and I have the tools to recognize and manage it if anything triggers a small relapse.
If you aren't comfortable talking to one of your parents/trusted adult, you could talk to a school nurse or doctor, or ask your school counselor for information on local youth clinics. They are a good way to go if you are not comfortable talking to your family doctor, and are always supportive and understanding.  
But it is so true - You are not alone. I am so glad to see how many of you are posting and supporting each other!
Best wishes to all of you!!

[arianadavid]

Heya
I suffered from depressio and paranoia last year,i had about 6 months where i hated my life all becuase of my school grades people kept telling me i was failing and i would get into uni if i didnt get at least all A's at GCSE. I was convinced that my friends were plotting against me and thought my parents wanted to send me away. I had simular problems to you with sleep etc. Then at the end of feburary i just stopped working as hard and chilled out it just hit me suddenly. I started talking to my mum and my friends and i got so much better. So i would say talk to your parents ask them if you could take a couple of days out of school and just relax dont see any of your friends dont do any work and just relax. Also talk to the doctors make up something u want to go to the doctors about if u want you mum to book an appointment.then just talk to them, they will at worst put u on antideppresants.
Hope this helps
Ariana xx

[mishymoshymarcy]

Hello!!! OH WOW!!! I imagined myself as one of the only people going through this, yet look at how many of you feel the same way. i think most of my anxiety is due to my thoughts and school. And i got really bad at one stage and did something i regret. I am afraid of soon heading to the 'panick attack' stage. I am paranoid with things like i feel like i am being watched all the time by the people around me. I imagine they have tiny cameras on my school bag or any of my belongings and can see and hear everything. It sometimes feels very uncomfortable, i am even afriad to get dressed in my own room. IN THE DARK!!! i am so conscious of everything, and always seek approval from others to make myself feel good.
I had a really bad anxiety episode when i was at the pool one day, away from school...... I was sitting on the ground on my lovely long towel, and i suddenly got this shock of anxiety that just popped out of nowhere. My heart was beating a little too fast, i was nervous and anxious obviously, and i felt like i wanted to cry. I was going to go and lock myself in the toilets but it seemed to go away after 10mins or so.
I am sick of the struggle with the daily anxiety. I can no longer concentrate on my work at school and dont get a good night rest. ( a very very strong habit of going to bed late).....