Confused, very confused..

[breakingapart]

My family is openly homophobic to the point where my mom told me straight to my face, 'If you were gay or bi, I would instantly disown you.' Not to mention that she has anger management issues. Makes it all the more worse. But I always had crushes on girls. In first grade, I had a huge crush on Britney Spears, and I tongue-kissed a girl my own age in preschool. (She was okay with it) And I had a crush on this sixteen year old friend of mine when I was in kindergarten through fourth grade. I think I may have even spent the night at her place before, but I cannot remember..

Well, behind my mom's back, I got into online relationships with women and men.

Long story short, I am not sure what I am. I mean, don't get me wrong, I do think certain guys are attractive, but the thought of doing anything more than a peck on the cheek just disgusts me. When it comes to women, it is different. I like being with them and have had thoughts about dating them. And the thought of doing more than a peck on the cheek with a woman doesn't make me sick to my stomach.

Am I lesbian or bisexual? At the moment, I am too confused by it to figure it out.

[Kage_no_Taren]

Sounds to me like you're bi.  If you're attracted to both genders and not to trees or squirrels or something, then you're kind of by definition bisexual.  I know one girl who called herself lesbian for years but was attracted to guys, just found the thought of doing things with them "icky".  But she dated lots of them, and even went "all the way" as it were...it was just that sh was only interested in doing that with very specific boys.  You might be bisexual leaning towards lesbian (so a Kinsey 4 or 5).  

[jadedreflection]

<3 the fact that yyour mom said that makes me want to hug you!
i know tons of moms who are like that, it really makes me mad. and yes definatly sounds like your bi- and its not a bad thing at all! but unfortuantly it sounds like something you have to keep from your parents :(

good luck!

[LeftCoastChick]

I'm going to poke my head in as I saw you post in Adult Depression. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being gay or bisexual, many times it's not a choice that we can make, it's just who we are. I came out at 16 - my folks weren't thrilled. You sound a lot like me when I was your age. I did self harm, I was bulemic and I used to hurt myself to relieve pain. See if you can find a support group in your area for gay/bi teens.  It doesn't mean you have to make a decision that you are gay or not, but just to be able to talk about your feelings.