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Hair Pulling
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Hair Pulling

Okay so im a female teen. ive been through a lot of stuff, as a child, and as of late. ever since i was little i would pluck my eyelashes, for fun. but nowadays i pull out some hairs near the edge of my scalp, right where no one could tell because another layer of haircovers it. also, my eyebrows. im pulling them out now. i dont pull out sso fiercely they come right out, i pull gently. ive had a couple small patches in my hair before, about a dime in diameter each. no one can see them unless i show them.
Another thing, its controllable. i can stop. i stopped, just now. i just usually....dont WANT to stop. i want to express my pain in a visible tangible way to people, similar to cutting. but i try not to do anything bad to my body. i havent pulled hair in a week, but today i wanted to again. any advice for me to stop?
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Avatar_f_tn
You mention that you've been through a lot of "stuff" in your life, and especially recently. People with similar compulsions as yours react to emotional pain, stress, and a lack of feeling in control by forcing an external symptom onto themselves to cover it up and feel better. Some people use drugs, some people drink, some people overeat, some people cut... it sounds like you're doing exactly that with pulling your hair.

Stopping for a week is good, it's certainly progress, but it's not "I will no longer do this". THAT's stopping, that's quitting. The fact that the desire is back after just a week shows how strong this need is inside you. I hate to break it to you, but it's becoming uncontrollable. You were pulling out your eyelashes as you wrote your post here. You've escalated from your childhood fancy of eyelash tugging to actual hair pulling, to the point where you've lost patches of it. Do you consider your hair and eyelash pulling two separate issues? They sound the same to me, just one is a bigger and more grown-up version of the other.

If you want to express your pain to people, talk to someone and tell them how you feel inside. It's that simple. Hurting your body isn't expressing your pain to the people you want to notice, it's only hurting your body. And despite what you're telling yourself, you ARE hurting your body hun... pulling out patches of hair on your face and scalp is not a healthy function. The fact that you hide it also keeps anyone from noticing and speaks to your knowledge that deep down, you know this isn't healthy or the right thing to do. You want people to know what's going on inside you, but you don't tell them about it and you cover up the physical symptoms. You want a certain action or reaction from the people in your life, but your own actions ensure that it won't happen... this is what's called "self-sabotage".

If you want to express what's going on inside you, all you need to do is... express it. I know it's difficult to start, and I know that the obsession inside telling you to pull your hair out is strong. It won't be easy to begin letting go, but once you start learning how to, it's easy to continue. You just keep doing what you already learned how to do to stay "done" with this problem. If you don't feel like you can talk to your friends or family just yet, try an anonymous support group. Or continue to talk to us here. Just please stop harming yourself.
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Avatar_f_tn
hey baby girl don"t ever hurt yourself love yourself why? r u doing that what is so so so bad you want 2 hurt yourself wow``````````````` here is wat i would like u 2 do 4 me n you say a pray everynite before u go 2 bed n please let me no how u r doing?
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Avatar_f_tn
You mention that you've been through a lot of "stuff" in your life, and especially recently. People with similar compulsions as yours react to emotional pain, stress, and a lack of feeling in control by forcing an external symptom onto themselves to cover it up and feel better. Some people use drugs, some people drink, some people overeat, some people cut... it sounds like you're doing exactly that with pulling your hair.

Stopping for a week is good, it's certainly progress, but it's not "I will no longer do this". THAT's stopping, that's quitting. The fact that the desire is back after just a week shows how strong this need is inside you. I hate to break it to you, but it's becoming uncontrollable. You were pulling out your eyelashes as you wrote your post here. You've escalated from your childhood fancy of eyelash tugging to actual hair pulling, to the point where you've lost patches of it. Do you consider your hair and eyelash pulling two separate issues? They sound the same to me, just one is a bigger and more grown-up version of the other.

If you want to express your pain to people, talk to someone and tell them how you feel inside. It's that simple. Hurting your body isn't expressing your pain to the people you want to notice, it's only hurting your body. And despite what you're telling yourself, you ARE hurting your body hun... pulling out patches of hair on your face and scalp is not a healthy function. The fact that you hide it also keeps anyone from noticing and speaks to your knowledge that deep down, you know this isn't healthy or the right thing to do. You want people to know what's going on inside you, but you don't tell them about it and you cover up the physical symptoms. You want a certain action or reaction from the people in your life, but your own actions ensure that it won't happen... this is what's called "self-sabotage".

If you want to express what's going on inside you, all you need to do is... express it. I know it's difficult to start, and I know that the obsession inside telling you to pull your hair out is strong. It won't be easy to begin letting go, but once you start learning how to, it's easy to continue. You just keep doing what you already learned how to do to stay "done" with this problem. If you don't feel like you can talk to your friends or family just yet, try an anonymous support group. Or continue to talk to us here. Just please stop harming yourself.
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725621_tn?1314846847
sweetheart you are doing something bad to your body and hurting yourself in the process. Its certainly not a way o addressing these problems that hasn't been addressed yet.  People cry out for help in different ways and this is how you choose to deal with your; i read this message here and my heart goes out to you whose my and i can identify with the hardships that we may during our life. But to sit here and not tell you to go seek help immediately would be telling you this behavior is quite acceptable...it will pass NO Way!
If your parents aren't there for you start by talking to a guidance counselor at school deal with this for its gets ' out of hand' and it will trust me. Plus we're here to help you can talk to me privately as much as you want okay. My only desire is to see you cover bit by bit from the pain and hurt you've passed through and be someone in this lifetime. stay with us...
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1254306_tn?1270995813
What your describing is a form of OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) and it will not just go away on its own.  You need to find a good congnative therapist who can help you overcome your compulsion to pull at your hair.  Our daughter is 16 yrs old.  She has done it since she was 14 yrs old.  Most of the time she doesn't even realize she's doing it.  Some pull to soothe themselves, others to  feel good.  

Find a good therapist. One you can talk to.  Also if  you have openness with your parents or school counselor talk to them.  It all helps.  You may Not think you need help, or that you can handle it.  But deep down you have unresolved issues that if left buried will only cause more self harm.  Please seek help.

Thinking of you.
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1280947_tn?1278379932
Thank you for your concern.... i have a therapiost and psychologist. i have told them my problem, and they believe i dont do it often enough for it to be a problem. the patches in my hair grow back very fast. thank you for sharing with me though ^_^
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1280947_tn?1278379932
Thanks. Means a lot that you care to stop and write so much about it.
I dont believe the pulling of eyelashes is connected to my hair, though. my reason for plucking lashes was cause i had so many and they would always fall off into my eye...and then i couldnt get them out. so i plucked the ones that were gunna fall out.
anyway, i understand how you could think its OCD.
i havent pulled hair since i posted, dont think about it, dont do it unconciously.... its just what i do when i think of something really sad.
so its probably from emotion more than nervous impulse...
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1327415_tn?1294061489
hey.... try wearing an elastic band round your wrist and pinging your self with it when you want to pull your hair.
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Avatar_f_tn
Hi i have the same problem. This is my first time on this site and I've never talked to someone with the same problem as me. I thought I was the only one and always felt so weird for doing it, it's just I can't control it. Well I'd love to talk to you so please inbox me :) thanks
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