Okay, so I'm almost 13, I'm pretty sure I've been depressed since I was 11. I've attempted suicide multiple times, I don't even know why I'm depressed anymore. I do cut, I have since early june. I don't know how to tell my parents or my friends about anything, I hate opening up. I want to get better but I don't want my parents to know, because my sister has depression and if I, the youngest daughter, pop up saying I have depression they might feel like they cant do anything right, as if it's their fault and I'd hate that. My mum anyways acts like she hates me half the time and my dad is always up in my business T^T I've always had a short temper, and whenever it rained I'd feel sad and upset. My parents know I was depressed last year after my friends pushed me into seeing the school councilor, but everyone thinks I'm fine now. A few people notice I've been quiet and upset lately but if I told them again they might feel sorry for me or think I'm weird and a freakazoid. Worse yet some of them act like it's contagious and don't know how to deal with me or want to be my friend anymore. I've also tried running away and I intend to this Wednesday, so the sooner the reply, the better ._. I do often think about dying and what other people would do and how they would react. I used to think everything's possible. Now everything is a challenge. I got high marks, recently even if I study for hours I can't remember a thing. I don't know why I cry anymore, but nearly everything triggers it. Around people I try to be hyper and happy, but even that facade is starting to slip away. It's like I'm piling everything into a bottle, problem after problem, emotion after emotion, and now the bottle's so full i might burst any minute. I want help, but I don't want people to know. ._. if you read all this, then thank you for your time.
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