I’m 15 years old and i can not live in today's world,im pressured everyday to study things i dont care,that dont interests me so that one day i can get some rich job an buy things i dont need in this life. I keep feeling depressed most of my time(various reasons:wars, inequality,poverty,suffering,…) Sometimes i get suicidal thoughts as well,to just end this once and for all. But im growing up in a rich family ,i can get whatever i want,and im still felling depressed this is the part i dont understand at all,i have seen half of the world,done so much things in my life and still i’m depressed in the end i have some very good close friends and family who are always ready to help me and they care about me. And still i suffer every waking minute,i dont know what to do any more. I don’t know whats wrong with me. And under judging i always under judge my self for everything i do even if im the best at it,if its school to sports every time i dont believe in myself.
Hello. I would just like to ask you one question, is there any other reason you may be depressed? Any traumatic things happen in your life? Anything that could have affected you in any way? Do you pressure yourself to aim higher? Or do you parents force you to do extra well?
Well sorry for the question mark after question mark, but i would really like to know if there may be something else behind it.
I also just want to say, that it is good to grow up in a rich family, but as well as you have said that comes with alot of pressures in life. Have you ever heard of the quotes "money doesn't buy happiness"? Well just because someone may be rich, it doesn't mean they are neccessarily happy. Don't get me wrong, money is great! I think you get the idea, right?
As for the low self-confidence and self-esteem, well you have to train your mind to think positive. It is not something that solves itslef overnight....it takes time. For example. when you get to school, keep telling your mind 'I can do it, i have studied hard enough, this is going to be easy'. You may not believe it at first, but it works eventually. Have faith in yourself. If you can't do that right away, thats ok. But at least if you try these tips, it means you have faith in me.
Don't misjudge yourself, because as long as whatever you may be doing is your best, then thats all that counts.
Also for the suicidal thoughts... Please don't do it. Life is precious, and has its ups and downs. Suicide is a permenant solution to a temporary problem. Trust me, you will not feel this way forever. I suggest you talk to someone about the things that concern you in life. About your troubles. A school counsellor perhaps...? Or even a teacher that you really trust and like. But most importantly, you may want to talk to your parents on how you are feeling...After all they are your parents....
I hope i have helped even the tiniest bit. :)
nothing happened in my life that would affect me in anyway,i'm just felling low confident and depressed since i was 13 im active in sports running,kayaking,skiing and i'm good at them. My parents dont force me to study hard,they just say that i need to have positive grades thats all they dont care if its an A or B they just care if its an D and even if i get an F they say that everything is going to be fine, and to not worry,but they are saying i under judge myself
One of the problems i had with under-judging myself, was that i wanted to impress everyone else, and i thought that i had to be a perfect girl and get perfect marks to do that. Like i wanted to be the perfect student to my teachers, and i wanted to be the best. And to be honest i still feel this most of the time. Is this part of your problem? Are you trying to be the best? Do you want to impress the people around you?
Well if this is the case then let me give you some advice... The only real person you need to seek approval from is YOURSELF. And as you have said that is part of the problem. Bgein with the 'self-talk', as people call it. Encourage yourself. And as i said in my other comment, even if you don't believe what you are telling yourself in your head, say it anyway.
Let me give you an example. I was in a sport class one day and we were riding bikes. We had to sort ourselves into groups and do these little mini activities to see if we were skilled enough to ride outside the school. The thing that scared me was that i said to myself over and over again in my head that i couldn't do it. So i gave up at first, and I sat out, looking at everyone else wishing that i could be as good as them. I was pretty good at riding a bike, for a person who hadn't done it in many many years. Well anyway, i was in tears because i didn't want to fail, yet i couldn't get out there and embarrass myself in front of my friends. So my negative thoughts got the better of me, and i had no faith in myself whatsoever.
Then i used the 'self-talk' and i corrected my thinking. I said to myself 'I can't keep doing this all the time. What is the worst that could happen? I am not going to sit out everytime i lose confidence in myself! Thats it, I am going to do it!' I told myself this over and over again, and i got out there and i did it! I passed the test that i was afraid of. I don't think i got a perfect mark. But i passed a test. And i was so proud of myself. My teacher had seen me really upset and came up to me later and said, 'Don't let your thoughts get the better of you. Don't tell yourself you can't do it, because look what you just did today. Always think positive, you can do it.' (Not those exact words, but thats around about what she said.)
Sorry this was a long post, but i hope you understand why i told you that story.
Just remember NOBODY is perfect, you can't always be the best. It's only YOUR best that matters most.
Promise me you will always remember one thing:
"You are braver than you believe,
Stronger than you seem,
And smarter than you think"
Also never give up on your hobbies and sports. Excersize releases endorphins in your brain and always helps the way you feel.
Accept yourself for who you are, my friend.
Please keep talking to me if have any other further worries, or questions.
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