I don't even know what to do anymore?

[Leeeeeeee]

I don't even know what I'm asking but okay let me just say everything. I'm 16 and in 10th grade. I have noooo credits though. I just can't get up and go to school everyday. I've been doing this since 7th grade, since after my dad died. I haven't been to school in about three weeks now. I just lay in my bed when I don't go. And when I do go its torture. I'm starting to not want to be around my friends because they are gonna ask me about school and stuff. I just wanna lay down. I wish I could just  run away and not have to deal with all this ********. I'm just a loser. I can't go to school everyday, I've been doing this for three years now. I would rather do homeschooling but I feel like I would barely do that. I don't know. What should I do?

[thatquietgirl]

Yes, getting around people can help even though the nature of depression is to want to isolate and stay in bed all day.  However, don't jump directly into this.  Some days, just getting out of bed at all for even just a few minutes is a HUGE accomplishment.  Don't discredit that accomplishment.  It's where you are that day.  Other days, just laying in bed writing in your journal or reading a book could be a huge accomplishment.  Don't discredit that accomplishment or any other.  It's where you are in that moment.  Make baby steps to get up and go get some food, maybe spend a few minutes with your family who's there if you're up to it that day.  

It might be beneficial, even, to share what you're feeling with your family.  Surely at least your mother and/or any siblings you may have are dealing with grief at various stages and may have some advice or words of encouragement.

I would strongly encourage:

1) Journaling.  It lets you get your thoughts out and figure out what you're feeling and why in a way that's not so jumbled as it is just thinking about it because you actually have to put words on a page.

2) Therapy.  You need someone you feel comfortable with and with whom you can discuss this.  Sometimes it will take a few therapists to find the right one, but it really helps.  

I was really badly depressed from ages 15 through about age 19.  At 18, I got help.  I wish I had gotten it much sooner because it helped so much.  It took time, of course.  I wasn't just instantly healed of my depression.  The thing is, however, that it helped.  Instead of stuffing things inside and feeling like I was the only one who felt these things, I was getting those feelings out.  I was gaining tools to deal with what I was feeling, learning about myself.  It really helped my recovery.

I wish you the best of luck in your recovery and offer my deepest condolences.  Losing your father can't be easy at all, especially at such a young age.

Keep us posted!

[wanttohelp97]

You need to be around people honestly. You need to find somebody to help you through what you are going through. What activities do you enjoy?