Teen Depression Community
I dont know if i am depressed?
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This patient support community is for discussions relating to teen depression, abuse, aggressive behavior, alcohol and drug abuse, anxiety, behavioral issues, fatigue, gastrointestinal problems, grief loss, parent issues, relationship problems, school issues, self-esteem, sexuality, sleep disorders, and step-families.

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I dont know if i am depressed?

Hi , my name is tori and I am 13 years old. During the past weaks I have had a really bad outlook on life. When I was young my father would physically, emotionly, and mentaly abuse me. I am not very popular at school so I kinda get picked on. I have also been sexally abused at a young age ( have never told anybody). I just feel like the past and those awful memories of my past keep haunting me. I cry myself to sleep every night. I just hate life and I feel that its useless. I have suisidal thought every day ( I one day had a knife in my hand and was intending on using it and I was going to hang myself also). I don't cut myself but the only reason I don't kill myself it because how selfish that would be, my baby/dog co co, and the fear of whats beyond. I also have a struggle with wieght although I am thin I look at way more populer and pretty and thin girls with me so that constanly stresses me out. I am not a people person and turn to sometimes acohol and my animals for comfort. I have plenty of friends but i dont think they would understand.I have been to  plenty of therapists but they do not help at all. My mom is also a big part of my life and I don't want to let her down. I have been forgave my dad though. I just hate life and just really want to die. I also do not want to tell my family because they will think im making this up and is doing this for attention which is the complete opposite. I am not crazy and  am very smart so, I don't need pills to make life easier... I just dont know whats going on.
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After reading your post I believe that you should start loving yourself ,start pampering yourself .. I am sure that you will start loving your life.... One way you could help yourself is every morning as soon as you get up see yourself in the mirror and kiss your reflection ..... Practice it for a few days ... And see the change....
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